I don't go to university the next day. I have a cold and the worst ever headache. Blame that interview (which is tomorrow!). I tell Hafsa to lend me her lecture notes and handouts in a few days time, if I make it out of that interview.

I spend the morning in bed, and the afternoon helping mum around the house. I do literally anything and everything to distract myself, but nothing seems to work. I'm very nervous about the interview, but I'm more nervous to see Zaid again after all this time.

At about 4pm, I change into my sportswear and decide to take a jog around the local park. Jogging always helps me clear my mind. I'm a girly girl, as I love fashion and makeup, but I also love to stay fit.

But today, even a jog around the park can't help me. I return home only half an hour later. I decide to take another nap. At least I'll forget about Zaid and the interview for just a small amount of time when I'm asleep. That's if I don't dream about them, too. Mum tells me to eat, I tell her I will after I've taken a nap.

I'm lying in bed, thinking about what tomorrow will bring. You know what? I'll tell you some of what happened with Hamza. I'll tell you the 'not-so-bad' stuff. The rest I can't talk about.

Hamza was my fiancé. I know I'm 19 and you all may be thinking why? I was happy. I was only 18 when I got engaged to Hamza last December, but I was perfectly happy. My parents were happy. I had thought that he was the perfect guy for me. But how wrong I was. We were supposed to be getting married in June, and I found out the truth about him in May, a month before we were to marry. I had bought all my wedding jewellery, clothes, I had even bought my wedding dress. After I found out the truth, I burnt everything. Everything which connected me to him, I destroyed.

At the start of our so-called relationship, he was a very sweet guy. Very caring, helpful, kind, I thought he was perfect. I felt lucky that I was getting married to him. Now I laugh at how wrong I was. How did I not see the truth about him? We were together for five months before I found out the truth.

Anyway, his family came to my house to ask for my hand in marriage for Hamza. My parents were happy with the proposal, but of course they answered saying it's my choice and they will be happy with whatever I say. So, I thought about the proposal for a few days, and I met up and talked to Hamza a few times. He seemed like a good, caring guy. So I agreed to the proposal.

Onto why I broke the engagement. I was at a birthday party of one of my close college friends. It was Mariyah's party, and it was one of those parties where everyone comes. I remember that I was wearing a beautiful green maxi dress that day. Hamza was wearing a black suit, and he looked quite nice. Now, he disgusts me.

A random girl in the party accidentally spilled her soft drink on the front of my dress, and I had to go and clean up. So I went upstairs to the bathroom, cleaned up as best as I could, and then went back downstairs.

I hadn't been in this house before, as Mariyah had recently moved home. This house was enormous, almost like a mansion. I lost my way, I ended up coming down the wrong staircase which led me to the back of the house. I was confused, no one was there at all. I had thought that maybe the party had ended, but it only started an hour ago. I started to make my way around, and that's when I heard him.

His voice sounded so different, that at first I was unsure it was him. Then I saw him. He was standing behind a pillar, with a girl. They were standing too close. What was going on?

'Yes, baby, of course I will come to meet your parents. Very soon,' he murmured. She grinned and kissed him, on the mouth. What?! He kissed her back, it was obvious that he was enjoying it very much.

I felt tears rise to my eyes, I don't know when they spilled. Hamza, my fiancé of over five months, was cheating on me. We were to marry next month! I grabbed onto the door I was standing behind for support, as I felt my legs about to give way. What had I ever done to deserve this?!

Suddenly, a couple of girls accidentally pushed into me, crashing the door open. Hamza saw me, and so did the girl. He looked really guilty. The girl looked confused. He ran to me, started apologising repeatedly, but I didn't listen. Then he started saying that I was misunderstanding the situation, but I wasn't blind. I knew perfectly well what I was seeing. I heard the girl say that she honestly didn't know that Hamza was engaged. They had been seeing each other for over four months now, through most of our 'relationship'. The whole relationship had been a pretence. Everything was a lie. The girl slapped him across the face. He had hurt her as well as me. He was a player, a cheat.

I ran out of the party, not looking back. I wanted to get as far as possible away from Hamza. I don't know how I managed to find my way out, but I did. He ran after me, continuously apologising. How could he do this to me? Why? What did I ever do to him to deserve this?! I rang Hafsa, she luckily answered through all the noise of the party. She came running out when she heard me crying. Hamza reached me, grabbed me, told me to look into his eyes and see that it was a mistake, that I had misunderstood the situation. I laughed in his face. I wasn't blind. Then he started saying that the girl had forced him to kiss her, that she had started it. I saw everything though, I saw how much he was enjoying it.

Hafsa made me get into her car, and she locked the door from the outside. She had a word of her own with Hamza, who definitely was not enjoying it at all. And then she slapped him.

That slap from Hafsa completely changed him. His pretence changed into reality. His expression turned dark, the look on his face scared the hell out of me. I still get the shivers when I remember that look on his face, and how quickly his expression changed. Hamza then said something, I don't know what exactly he said, but it made Hafsa even more furious. Looking at Hamza, I felt scared for Hafsa. I knew she would hit him again, so I begged her to get into the car and drive. When she finally got into the car, she was constantly swearing. She wanted to get out of the car and punch him. I didn't want her to get into any trouble because of me, though. Hamza was dangerous. More dangerous than I first thought.

The last thing I heard him say was "Zara, you are mine. Only mine. I will make sure of it." That sent shivers down my spine.

I suddenly felt relieved that I found out the truth about Hamza before the wedding. What would have happened if I found out that he was cheating on me after I was married to him? If I saw this side of him after we were married? I shivered. I wouldn't be able to do anything then, I would be stuck with him. I wouldn't be able to escape.

My parents were shocked when they found out, they were mad. No one had any clue that Hamza would turn out to be like this. Dad called up his parents straight away, telling them that the wedding was off. His poor parents had no idea what had just happened! When they found out what their son had done, they were also furious. His parents had treated me like their own daughter. They apologised to me so many times, I felt sorry for them. God help anyone who has a child like him.

I felt so many things at the same time. I felt upset, I felt broken, I felt angry, but most of all I felt afraid. I cried myself to sleep that night because I felt terrified. Of that final look on his face, of those final words he had said. For many days, I didn't even get out of the house. For weeks, even. I was so scared. My family and friends were absolutely amazing, though. They helped me so much through everything. Especially Hafsa. I can't be thankful enough for having such a perfect best friend. She's so lovely and caring.

That wasn't the last time I saw Hamza, though. I wish it had been the last time, I wish that I had never seen him again after that, but I did. The last time I saw him was by far the worst.

********

"Zara, come downstairs and eat dear! I'm worried about you," I hear mum from downstairs and smile.

'I'm coming, mum! I was just taking some rest,' I tell her and head downstairs.

Maryam and my parents are sitting at the dining table, waiting for me. 'I thought I would eat with you, I have been very busy with work recently, and I realised that we haven't had dinner together as a family in many days,' dad says. I smile. That's true. Dad has been really busy with work these past few days. He gets home late at night, me and Maryam are usually asleep when he gets back home.

I take a seat at the dining table with my family and smile. I love them all so much, I have the best parents and the best sister. I'm so thankful to have them in my life. I am who I am because of them. They're amazing.

'Hafsa came this morning? I haven't seen her in a few days, how is she?' Dad asks me.

"Yes, dad. She was asking about you, and she's fine. Still crazy, like always!" I say, and then start to eat.

'She's a lovely girl. Her whole family is nice,' dad says. I nod. That's very true. They're all amazing.

"Yes, Zaid is very nice too. He's a good guy," mum says.

'Well, I don't know. I mean, the last time I saw him was two years ago!' I laugh.

Dad chuckles. 'You'll see him tomorrow, in the interview. He has changed, but he's still a great guy.'

'He's changed? How?' I ask, suddenly interested.

"You'll find out tomorrow!" Mum says with a laugh.

'But I don't want to go to the interview tomorrow! I mean, isn't it kind of weird? It's Zaid!' I say, my nervousness back.

"It's not weird, dear. He will be your boss if you get the job, which I know you will. Treat him nicely, don't be too mean to him!" Dad laughs.

I chuckle. Dad's so sweet, always trying to make me smile, cheer me up.

After dinner, I head back upstairs to my room. I was about to help mum out with the dishes, but she told me to get a good night's sleep before the interview.

'Well, sis, good luck!' Maryam says to me as we both walk upstairs.

"Thanks, Maryam. I'm dreading it!" I say, pouting.

'Wait, I didn't mean good luck for the interview! I meant..good luck for seeing Zaid again! He's even better looking than before, I saw him a few days ago. If you work with him, you sure won't get bored! He's good eye candy!' Maryam says, winking at me.

I laugh. Trust Maryam to say something like this. "He's gonna be my boss if I get the job, Maryam! You're crazy!"

'Sis, you'll understand what I'm saying tomorrow! Even you'll agree with me! I'll change my name if you don't fall for him like all the other girls.'

"Ha, no way! There is no way that I would ever fall for Zaid! Are you crazy?!" I laugh. She's out of her mind. Forget Zaid, I don't think I'll fall for anyone now. Not after what happened with Hamza. Who's to say that all the other guys won't be like him, too?

'Sis, mark my words. You will. Zaid is that kind of guy,' Maryam says, winking at me.

I roll my eyes. She really is crazy, but I love her to bits. "Whatever, Maryam. He may be that kind of guy, but I'm not like all those girls who fall for him everyday. Anyway, I'm off to bed. I need to be up early in the morning."

Maryam wishes me luck again, this time more seriously. And this time for the actual interview. We both head to our rooms.

It takes me ages to fall asleep again. I'm really nervous for the interview tomorrow. I know I will mess up, badly. I don't need the job, but I really want it. I want to get busier, so I can take my mind off certain things. I can't help but think about Zaid, too. Maryam told me that he looks different than he did before. Two years can change everything about a person, looks and personality. I'm a completely different person than I was two years ago. I also look different than I did back then.

I chuckle, remembering all the silly hairstyles me and Hafsa used to try out. My hair used to be shorter two years ago, and it was straight and dark brown. It is now a slightly lighter shade of brown, and it is longer and wavy. I love my hair now, I love how it is naturally wavy without being curly. I wouldn't want to have curly hair all the time. My hair is really thick and takes so much effort to take care of anyway. My height is about the same as it was two years ago – 5ft 2inches. I'm short. But I like it. Maryam is the same height as me, and Hafsa is an inch taller. Two years ago, I didn't care about what I ate. I always used to eat junk food and sweets. I still do, but I exercise regularly and I like to keep fit. I like my figure now.

It's past midnight when I finally fall asleep.That night, I dream of a crazy interview that goes horribly wrong. 

********