Tamer's footsteps pounded hard into the forest flooring, bared claws slicing frantically through the air as he ran. The forest was screaming as the wolf within him demanded release, the animal so in tune to all those scents and sounds that it overwhelmed him in a sensory overload. His senses were assaulted just like the growing anxiety clouding his mind: the thoughts of failure, what would happen to her if he failed, what would he do if she died and somehow he didn't?

He had mere days until he had to fight Xavier. How could he live with himself if he let something happen to her?

Don't think about it, don't think about it! Just keep pushing forward! he thought with an erratic shake of his head.

The conversation with Lorelei earlier replayed in his mind, stealing the scenery away.

Golden sunlight light filtered through between the white sheets hanging from the laundry pole, giving the early morning scenery an almost heavenly vibe. Strangely, Tamer thought he looked rather at home in such a warm filter - odd for one whose legends were told to have a natural weakness towards sunlight.

"Lorelei," Tamer murmured, staring down at his clawed fingers, "does this make him right about me?"

Lorelei unfolded a bed sheet, sending it unfurling like a pair of wings. "Who? How do you mean?"

Tamer's lips curled. "My father. If I can't control my own body, does that make me a monster?"

Tamer didn't view his wolf side as a different being, but more a conflicting part of himself that had different needs and desires - desires he neglected far too much. That side of him knew only anger and violence. Right now, he wanted to shift. He wanted to do it more than he ever had in his life. It was a blessing to be able to rid oneself of all human thoughts and feelings - all that anxiety, the stress of the burden he chose to bore alone. It was like drifting into another body, leaving all complex thoughts and emotions behind.

His fangs surfaced as he breathed in the air. The wolf was gently scraping its claws over his insides, begging for release as it caught the scent of a deer riding on the air.

Immediately, Lorelei's expression contorted.

"What are you saying?!" he howled, storming forward to lay his hands on his shoulders. "The urges of the body are what we call natural. Your desire to eat, your sexuality - none of these are inherently bad things. What matters is the urges of the mind. How you satisfy your desire in a healthy way that isn't harmful to those you care about."

Tamer grimaced. "But... everyone called me a monster. Then it must be true, right?"

Lorelei's silvery hair was so sleek, the sunlight upon it made it shimmer at the top like a halo around his head.

"Absolutely not. Of course the sheep with the wolf among them would say such a thing. The wolf merely plays the role nature gave him. He was made the way the gods intended. He may even have his own family or his loved ones to protect."

For whatever reason he would feel less guilty killing the animal in wolf form, leaving that side of him entirely within the wolf. It was nature. Normally he wouldn't feel guilty, nor should he, but an overwhelming amount of human emotions had been taking control of him recently. He needed to shed his skin of them. He needed to feel emotionally detached, even if just for a moment.

He couldn't take any more emotional stress. In a violent shift - which he knew it was going to be -- his clothes could be torn if they stayed on; normally the light of a shift would devour the whole being and reshape it. He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and tore it off, abandoning it and Lorelei's satchel by a tree alongside the rest of his clothes.
The wolf ate him whole and replaced him in a matter of seconds, landing perfectly on the melting snow in a small burst of light. He didn't waste any time. He had to be quick. He couldn't afford to be in this form longer than needed.

Tamer shook his head. "You can't tell me this is okay!" he snapped suddenly. "Sheep, wolves, whatever!" His fingers balled, knuckles beginning to whiten as the tremor passed through his arm and into his voice. "They don't feel love for what they're inclined to prey upon - the sheep won't cast the wolf the ultimate look of betrayal when it realises the one who was supposedly protecting it was the real danger all along!"

Lorelei stepped back giving him some space. "So that's what this is all about. You're saying you feel the desire to eat her?" he said quietly.

"No!" He shook his head, fingers clawing through his hair before slowly dragging it down his face. "I don't know what I feel, Lorelei," he squeaked. "It's just... hollow. I feel desire. But I don't know what kind it is. There's something empty inside me, but I don't know what I want to fill it with."

He reckoned it would take ten minutes at most. Hunting in this form was far too easy. Not only were there tracks in the snow, but his white fur was the perfect camouflage.

He dipped his head to the ground, breathing in its scent. It was close. Too close; he almost felt bad about how little the animal stood a chance. He followed its scent easily like the animal was tied to him by a piece of string

It didn't take long to find the deer. His ears twitched as the sound of rustling, either from grass or leaf, signaled it was near.

His padded paws stalked with barely a sound on the snow. The animal's scent was overwhelming at this point; sweet and alluring - definitely the scent of prey. Through a bush of frozen leaf, he saw it, its head dipped to drink out of the newly thawed stream.

It was a female.

Lorelei sighed. "Did something happen when you rescued Winter that you're not telling me about? Have you always felt this way around her?"

Tamer took in a sharp breath. Images of blood splattering upon the snow flashed within his mind. The sight of a hand falling flat, deathly still. He staggered, slumping into a nearby tree; hand over his mouth, feeling the urge to vomit.

No. Lorelei can't find out about that. He'll leave me too.

Lorelei cast him a look of great concern. His mouth hung open, ready to ask, but Tamer folded his arms around his body. Tamer would never talk. He'd never do anything but take the struggle alone and try not to burden others.

"That matters?" Tamer said eventually. "And no, this is a new thing."

Lorelei looked out to the glittering lake before them. He seemed to understand that it was easier for Tamer to talk from a distance, without a stare in his eye.

"From what I've studied about man-eating wolves, the worst offenders were usually pushed to that state by some trauma or some desperate need to feel love. Most notably the loss of a mate. The mate bond is very specifically having a piece of another's soul within your own. There's... a twisted intimacy in killing because it's literally taking another's soul. In an unhealthy state of mind, the feeling of desire could be confused with the desire to eat because it's basically taking a piece of another within you."
Lorelei stared at his own reflection within the water and frowned. "In your case Tamer you're probably just confused. There might be some inadequacy or other kind of love you're yearning for that you're pinning onto Winter. Something neither me nor her can satisfy for you, which is what your body is telling you you need."

Tamer didn't know what he wanted, as far as he knew, it was just Winter. All he could think was: "Am I a danger to her, Lorelei?"

The break in his voice was heart-breaking. Lorelei literally winced. Standing up, he took Tamer's hands and squeezed them.

"Not if you get the love and support you need to get through this rough patch," he said gently. "That's what you're longing for, what's leaving you so hollow in side. Your desires are to protect, to love; I know such a beautiful person with such selfless desires could never turn into someone who'd harm their own mate. If I can rehabilitate actual man eaters, then I can certainly help you."

Lorelei stared out longingly to the sun rising on the horizon, casting shimmers on the great lake before them.

"As someone who was once human and fell in love with a wolf...Humans often fall in love with Lupine because the mate bond opens their mind to intense feelings of love and desire they would not feel otherwise." He smiled. "She doesn't love you in spite of you being a wolf. She loves you because of it."

He didn't know why the fact it was a female deterred him. He stopped in his tracks, his front leg brushing off of the bush. It heard. Her ears twitched as her head turned. She faced him full on.

Deer had very bad eyesight. The truth was, in staying perfectly still with his white fur camouflaged in the snow, she'd never see him. But the creature clearly knew something was amiss. She stared at him face on, uncertain and unwilling to turn her back.

He stared into the eyes of the creature he was about to kill. What a beautiful animal she was; long eyelashes batted at him. Yet the fact the female stared at him, trusting her surroundings and unable to see the beast before her -- it deterred him.

Maybe this creature reminded him of Winter a little more than he cared to admit.

He decided it was the deers' fault. Mother nature should have given her better eyesight to fully grasp the danger before her. She have ran at the first hint of danger.

She looked him dead in the eye until the last moment, blindly trusting her surroundings until it was too late. He watched the fear dilate in her pupils. Tamer sprung the moment she made to run; he managed to clear the distance in one bound, catching and digging his claws into her hindquarters.

She screamed in protest, but it was already too late by then. The animal collapsed under his tremendous weight.

He silenced her by sinking his fangs into her neck.

The animal thrashed as the sweet taste of her blood wet his lips and poured into his mouth. The taste of blood soothed him in sating the wolf's hunger. It grew weaker and weaker by the moment until it was nothing but a twitch. It was then Tamer shifted back, releasing her, proceeding to run two fingers over the soft fur on her neck. He muttered calming words, stroked her fur tenderly, an odd amount of compassion in his eyes as he lulled the animal to its death.

The animal fell into stillness. He stared at its body for a moment, wondering if he did really did feel better after doing that. She was a beautiful creature. Perhaps even more beautiful with the ghost of betrayal haunting her eyes.

He didn't feel good, but he tried to shake away those thoughts. It had to be. That was all there was to it; they had to eat, and he had to vent. He was sick playing human, those who had never accepted him as one of him. Other than Winter, he didn't like people. He wouldn't kill needlessly, but he also wouldn't blink over killing hundred if they ever dared put her life in danger again. Even if Lorelei said he shouldn't.

He wondered how long he could keep up the charade. If he wanted to spend his life with Winter, the two of them were going to have to accept the side of him, however dominant it may be, that was a wolf.

He hated humans, and yet, he was so closely tied with her.

As they said, there was a thin line between love and hate.

Deciding against the messiness of using his claws, he retrieved his clothes and knife and began cutting the animal with his knife.

Once he was done, he stood.
Suddenly, he caught sight of the blood on his hands, the females mangled flesh before him, those beautiful long lashed eyes - just like Winters - eyes wide open with betrayal. A sudden state of panic out of nowhere hit him upon staring into the females eyes. Suffocation binding his lungs like snake, his knees began to tremble. He didn't know his own desire. Could this be Winter if he lost his mind? If he was a monster who wanted to harm her, he'd know right?

He felt his eyes began to sting as he collapsed to his knees, the thought utterly breaking him.

All I want is for you to feel as safe with me as I do with you, he thought, balling his fist so tightly it hurt, why can't I even do that if I myself am potentially harmful to you?

He stayed like that for some time, face buried into his knees, sobbing.

He was going to fail. The fight with Xavier was unavoidable. They couldn't run forever. At some point, his very reason for existing was going to be destroyed - perhaps even by himself.

He was so caught up in his thoughts and the scent of the deer's flesh, he failed to notice another smell drifting closer.

That of a wolfs.

His heart lunged for one mad instant, but on further analysis, the scent held a musky, forest vibe of a wild wolf's, not of a Lupine.

He turned, finding a young, white she-wolf staring at him. She whined, her ears tilted back and her head dipped in very submissive behaviour. Two further squeaks chorused her own; two pups appeared, poking their heads out from behind their mother's back legs, staring at him with large, hungry eyes.

A family! he thought, his teary eyes, red face, face suddenly lighting up with utter delight.

Holy shit, Tamer thought, feeling his heart clench a little as the pups walked forward, those are the cutest things I've ever seen in my life.

Still, it was odd behaviour. Wild wolves usually knew he was Lupine and were relaxed around him on that basis, but it was odd for it to approach him like this. The mother slowly stalked forward, determined not to meet his eye. Tamer went to his knees, spreading his palms in a friendly nature. The mother came close, whining to him as she sniffed his face with her ears all the way back, acting like a pup herself.
It was like they could sense his sadness. Tamer spat in protest as she began to lick near his mouth. She moved to his cheeks and the pups started licking his hands. He couldn't help it, he started laughing - it tickled like hell.
They must have been hungry. That could only induce such submissive behaviour. He ran his fingers to stroke the softness of the mother's ears. He'd considered living as a wolf, but in the end, couldn't as he wanted to stay by Winter. It would have been a much simpler life no doubt, but even then his size would make him stick out like a sore thumb even amongst wild wolves.

He didn't seem to belong in the human world, nor the animal world.

"Where is your pack?" he muttered softly as he played with the she-wolf's ear. "Your mate?"

Of course, she wasn't going to answer. He turned his attention to one of the pups as the mother sniffed the carcass, hoisting it up in the air.

"I might steal you," he said.

I want seven.

The mother growled at him.

"Okay, okay," he mumbled, placing the pup down again. "Relax, was I only kidding."

He smiled to himself, wrapping his hands around his knees.

It's unfortunate half breeds can't shift, otherwise, me and Winter could have a kid that shifted into a pup.

His face immediately reddened only moments after thinking it.

What was that? He internally shouted, slapping his own temples. Stop thinking crap like that you weirdo!

Sighing with his face still hot, he tried to forget the thought had ever happened. He stared at the family and all of a sudden he felt so at ease. The hollow empty feeling inside felt so full all of a sudden. Was this what he wanted? What he was fighting for?

Tamer smiled so fondly to himself, anxiety quelled. It was incredibly embarrassing to think but... Winter must have been right. Could someone who desired only to find love, to create life, really be a monster who longed to kill his own loved on?

This was what he was fighting for.

He noticed the cubs had joined their mother in sniffing the carcass, apprehensive about taking a bite.

"Go on," he said quietly.

I don't need a whole deer anyway.

He joined them in tearing up the carcass, hacking at it with his own knife to cut off small chunks.

He eyed the wolves once last time, smiling. The mother gave him an absent-minded wag of her tail.

When he believed he had more than enough, he wrapped the chunks of meat he'd retrieved in snow and leaf, aiming to keep them as fresh as possible.

These might have to last for awhile. We have to get moving when I get back, and who knows when I'll get the time again.

A new fire in his heart, Tamer rose with a determined stride. Killing his own brother was daunting, it was the last thing he wanted to do, but now he knew what he wanted, what he was fighting for flaming in his heart.

Right then, desire for life so strong, he felt as if he could defeat even Cerberus himself.

The day of the fight with Xavier lingered closer and closer. He could sense him in the air, close by.

AN: Please remember to support with votes and comments hearing more feedback means quicker updates and motivations! Also, does the flashback being broken up by the present work? Please let me know.