M I L L E R

Sa pagkakaalam ko ay malayo mula sa red light district ang resort na ito. Napakalayo. At sa tindig pa lang ng babaeng ito ay para namang hindi siya ang tipo ng babae na tumatangkilik sa mga host club para maglibang. Sa madaling salita, sa palagay ko ay maling tao ata ang tinutukoy ng ale.

Besides, I am nervous by how Axel is staring at her. He has his eyes narrowed, oozing with suspicion. Ano kaya ang nasa isipan niya ngayon? Iniisip niya ba na ex ko ang babaeng 'to? O kaya ay may dati ko itong kliyente?

Well, it has been so long and I don't think that I have a previous lover this young. Dahil kung iisipin ay mga nasa edad 60 pataas na ang mga kasabayan ko noon.

Me as a host is an old story.

"I think you got the wrong person," sabi ko.

"N-No. No. No. I'm positive that it's you."

"Excuse? You just said he's familiar, now you're positive it's him?" sabad naman ni Axel na agad pumagitna. "Hey, is this how women flirt these days?" bulong niya sa akin.

Mukhang narinig ata ng babae ang sinabi ni Axel.

"Flirt?" anito.

Yet before I could even reply, Axel did a weak pull to show resistance.

"Mga anak mo?" maangas niyang tanong.

I calmly grabbed Axel's wrist as I pulled him back gently.

"Okay, now calm down... Uhm, pwede bang pakisabi kung sa paanong paraan ako familiar? You see, my darling here is a jealous person."

Sinadya kong ipaalam ang relasyon namin ni Axel. Dahil kung sakali nga na she's trying to flirt at least she would know that she's already a no no.

Pero mukhang hindi ata siya nagulat o nagpakita man lang ng pag-aalinlangan. Imbes ay dumukot siya sa kanyang bulsa. She just grabbed her phone and swiped for a few times before showing me its screen.

"This is you, isn't it?"

At sa sandaling nakita ko ang litrato na nasa cellphone ay hindi ko sinasadyang mabitawan ang kamay ni Axel.

"Kaya nga sinabi ko sa'yo na kailangan mong mag-transform. It has its purpose, you know."

Although Axel was spitting things that might be weird to others, the woman remained staring at me. Mukhang may gusto pa ata siyang sabihin pero may dumating na lalaki. Tinawag niya ang mga bata, at base sa narinig ko ay pamangkin ng lalaki ang mga ito at magkasintahan sila ng babae.

In the end, the woman wasn't able to tell me how I was familiar to her. Inabutan niya lang ako ng business card before leaving with her boyfriend.

I accepted the card and forgot about it. Spend the night as usual with Axel. Hanggang sa nakalimutan ko na ang tungkol dito. Kaya kinabukasan ay walang-bahala akong tumungo sa dining area. Pero kung gaano ako kawalang-bahala sa paligid ay hindi naman maipinta ang mukha ni Axel sa labis niyang pagmamasid sa mga taong nakakasabay namin.

"Uhm, gusto mo ba ng pinya?" I offered him so that he can at least relax the muscles around his eyes that have been scanning the whole room for a while now.

"Yes. Sure. Sure. Put some, please," he replied while absently reaching his plate to me.

Ah. Mukhang pinagsususpetshahan niya nga talaga ng matindi ang babae kagabi. Hindi naman niya ako tinanong tungkol dito nung bumalik na kami. Pero sa nakikita kong kilos niya ngayon, klarong-klaro na naaabala siya nito.

I was so eager to talk about it once we reached our table. Pero mukhang wrong timing pa ata dahil sa sandaling lumayo kami sa buffet table ay nakasalubong na naman namin ang babae at ang boyfriend niya.

"What is it again?" angal ni Axel gamit ang mahinang boses. Kalmado pa rin naman siya nang ipinahayag niya ito.

"Excuse me," lumapit sa akin ang babae. Nag-aalinlangan man ay sinabi pa rin nito ang intensyon niya. "I'm sorry for how weird I was last night but can I have a moment with you please?"

Sa sandaling binitawan ng babae ang mga katagang ito ay napalingon ako kay Axel. He doesn't seem angry, but he doesn't also look calm. At alam ko na ito ang pinaka-delikadong reaksyon na pwede niyang ipakita sa sitwasyon na ito.

I asked him for permission, he agreed with a smile. A thin and wide smile. Nanlamig ako bigla nang makita ito. I even suggested to him to come with us as well. Wala naman kasing problema... well, I hope so kasi ngayon na natitigan ko ng matagal ang mukha ng babae parang pamilyar nga rin talaga siya sa akin.

Sa huli ay humiwalay kami ng lamesa pero hindi naman ito malayo mula sa inuupuan ni Axel at ng nobyo ng babae. Our table is diagonal with each other. Nangyari na pinili ni Axel ang upuan na nakaharap sa akin. At kitang-kita ng gilid ng mga mata ko na hindi siya nasisiyahan sa buong sitwasyon na ito.

"Uh... Sorry if I have to disturbed you guys in your breakfast," nahihiyang ani ng babae. "He is your lover, isn't he?"

Tumango ako. "Oo. Pasensya na, may pagka-seloso lang talaga siya minsan. But don't worry, he won't harm you or anything else."

I brief silence came between us along with an awkward air. Wala akong ideya kung ano ang sadya niya kaya hindi rin ako basta-basta na pwedeng magbukas ng topic. I was thinking for a way to make this conversation finish as soon as possible lalo na at parang sinusulit ng babae ang oras. Nakayuko lang kasi siya nung una, buti na lang at naalala ko ang picture ko sa cellphone niya.

"One question," I began, "Why do you have a picture of me?"

Sa sandaling binaggit ko ito ay maayos na umupo ang babae. Tumuwid ang kanyang likod at diretsong tumingin sa akin.

"That picture was taken 20 years ago."

"Really?"

But I cannot recall when or where they take it? Nihindi ko nga maalala kung may pinayagan ba ako na kuhanan ako ng litrato.

"Who took the picture? Kasi nung nakita ko 'yun para kasing stolen picture 'yun. 'Cause I can't remember anything about me getting photographed."

Bahagyang lumaki ang mga mata ng babae. Para bang nagulat siya na wala akong kaalam-alam sa litrato na ito. Ngunit ilang segundo rin ay huminahon ang kanyang mga mata na para bang may napagtanto siya.

"So, you really weren't aware of us that time. You didn't remember a bit of us."

"Pardon me?"

"Father's dead, do you know that? It has been three years since he passed away."

"Wait. Who passed away?"

Did she just share her personal information with a stranger?

"I'm sorry about your father." Ito na lang ang naging tugon ko.

Pero para bang may mali akong nasabi nang natigilan siya. She gaped her mouth as her brows curved upward. I can't put the expression on her face. Is she disappointed or sad? Perhaps she's sadly disappointed? But she also looked shocked.

"Uh, may I know you? Second time na kasi tayong nagkita and now we're talking pero hindi ko pa rin alam ang pan–"

"Colleen De Leon," she immediately replied.

Oh. A De Leon. Pareho kami ng apelyido.

Well, I wanted to say that and treat this as a random talk with a stranger with the same last name. Pero base sa kilos niya at dahil sa namumukhaan niya ako. There's no doubt that there is something more between us than being strangers who happened to have the same last name.

Sa pagkakataon na ito ay naging seryoso na ako. I straightened myself. As I slowly uttered, "Who are you really?"

"I told you I am Colleen De Leon... My father and your father's daughter."

Ah. So, the old man had a child... and that he is now dead?

Tinitigan ko ang babaeng nagpakilalang kapatid ko. She does look like someone who was born during the times my own father left me. Looking at her closer she seems to be in her late 20s. She might be born during the last quarter of the war or after it ended. Last quarter of the war also implies that it was the time I became a vampire. At sa naaalala ko ay nagpakita noon si Daddy.

"That sounds... interesting."

I don't know what she wanted. Pero matagal ko nang pinutol ang koneksyon ko kay Dad o sa kahit sinuman na malapit sa kanya. At kung may bago siyang pamilya ay malinaw na una sila sa listahan sa mga taong ayaw ko nang makita.

"Interesting? Do you know what's more interesting, brother? You."

"What's up with me?"

"You... You look young. Bizarrely young. You just– you didn't age."

If I still got it right. I am in my mid-fifties now. Tama nga siya. Dapat nga talaga ay may wrinkles na ako ngayon sa mukha. But vampires don't know about wrinkles or anything about aging.

"Really? Salamat. I worked hard for that. You don't know how expensive it is," I simply shrugged her curiosity off with a lie that I am not sure is convincing.

Kita sa mukha niya na hindi siya satisfied sa sagot ko. May gusto pa siyang itanong ngunit agad ko na siyang inunahan.

"What do you want? I believe you won't be here talking with me if you don't have something in mind."

She sighed. "Dad wanted to see you before he died. He still insisted on giving you your fair share... H-How are you?"

"Oh. Isn't it too late for that?" Ako naman ang nagbuntong-hininga habang lumalapit sa lamesa. "Huwag ka ng mag-alala sa akin, sis. As you can see, I am fine. Too fine that you wouldn't want to know the scale. At hindi ko kailangan ang pamana ni Daddy. You can just have it all to yourself. I'm sure it's pretty massive."

Hindi sa wala akong pakialam sa pagkamatay ni Dad. Sa katunayan, ngayon na nakumpirma ko na wala na siya, I wanted to visit him simply to show my respect.

"He worked hard for the both of us."

"Great. 'Cause I worked hard for myself too."

Natigilan siya sa sinabi ko. Bumalik na naman siya sa nalilito niyang ekspresyon.

Ang tagal na nito. Nakakapagod nang balik-balikan ang mga pinagdaanan ko. Gusto ko na lang mamuhay sa kasalukuyan at palayain ang mga masasamang pangyayari sa nakaraan.

I sighed once more. This one is a sigh not to get ready for a long argument but to start wrapping things up.

"You were too young back then... Maybe Dad was a good father to you, but not to me. Yet, I don't feel envious about that. Really. I am just happy that he didn't make the same mistakes again."

"He was a hardworking person."

"I know. I have witnessed it myself. Unfortunately, during his time with me, he was just starting to build himself so things went bad in that process but, hey! I'm fine. You're fine. You look happy, and I am certainly living my best life... Let bygones be bygones."

"Are you sur–"

"I have forgiven my father a long time ago."

It was during the trip I had with Axel. We went to his company. I saw what he was upto. His business is doing well although I didn't see him. Wala rin naman akong balak na makita siya. Dumaan lang kami. Then I realize that when I turn a hundred years old the things that happened when I was still human will be like prehistoric tales. Although, the history of my broken family and poverty was there, those are still an old story.

It would be pathetic to be sad for what's over a hundred years ago. I don't want to be chained by the past.

"You really are the same person Dad told me. You're cold and look apathetic. I didn't notice immediately because you were so bright with your lover."

"You mean, my darling? Yeah. He's my treasure... How about you? Is that guy the one?"

Tumango si Colleen. "Yup. We're getting married next year. I am just polishing a project I started here in the country."

"You sound like a businessperson."

"Well, I am a businessperson." She smiled.

We talked a little bit more. She told me what her fiancé does, how they met, and about his family. Ganun din naman ako. I told her about Axel. Kinuwento ko nga sa kanya ang tungkol sa attempt ni Dad na ipakasal ako sa iba. Binanggit ko na rin ang kumpanya ni Axel, at iba ko pang balak na gawin.

Sa huli ay tinawag namin ang mga kasintahan namin. This time, we introduced each other as siblings. Axel was surprised and embarrassed but in the end they got along. Axel has been really into business these past few years.

"A bar would be great. We are having a hard time thinking of another business to do. Thanks," sambit ni Axel.

Colleen is taking care of a bar business in the country. They are building branches. Kaya naman nang malaman ito ni Axel ay sinunggaban na niya ito at nag-request ng franchise.

"How about I make my own label instead of a franchise?" tanong ko.

"No. No. It's fine," Axel declined. "Since this is just to kill time you'll definitely leave it sooner or later," bulong niya sa akin.

Tama nga naman. Nakakapagod din ang mag-isip ng concept ng bar.

"Okay. Sure. Kung ayos lang kay Colleen."

"No problem, brother. I'll make my secretary take care of you."

"Woah. A VIP treatment." Axel nudged my arm.

Bandang hapon na nang natapos ang usapan namin. Dumating kasi ang mga pamangkin ng fiancé ni Colleen para ipaalala sa kanila na uuwi na sila.

"See you in our wedding, Mr. Best Man," Colleen uttered before bidding her goodbyes.