M I L L E R

It has not been a while when I thought of how to avoid Axel as soon as I get home. I have thought of faking ill and not going out of my room the whole night. Or to just get my stuff for the morning class and sneak out to stay somewhere else. I know those are dumb ideas but they are better than facing Axel again.

Nakakapagod lang kasi ang pagkukunwari sa harap niya. It might not be too obvious but talking with him and simply seeing him is so much hard work. Naaalala ko lang ang mukha niya nung gabing 'yun.

Wala naman talagang kaso sa akin ang mahalikan siya. Again, it was not the first time anymore. But what is bothering me is the fact that I got hard because of him... and he is not even a woman. Tapos double kill pa nung hindi ako tinigasan when I tried doing it with a woman. It is as if he is making me an abnormal or dysfunctional person. Exaggeration man, but I feel that way. I can feel that there's something wrong and bigger that will happen.

Ang tagal naman ata na mag-weekend. Gusto ko ng mapag-isa at mag-isip-isip. I think, only then I could find myself again. Bumuntong-hininga muna ako bago itinapat ang keycard sa pinto, at pumitik ito. It's open.

Here goes nothing. This is not the first time; all I have to do is to endure it until I reach my room. Dahan-dahan kong binuksan ang pinto at sumilip na muna sa loob.

When I saw that no one was in the living room, I quickly entered the place. Nakahinga na ako ng malalim. Now that I am here, naalala ko lang na hindi ko nga pala gaanong nakikita sa bahay si Axel tuwing uuwi ako galing ng club. He is often inside his room at this hour. I have never been in his room kaya hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang ginagawa niya but the important thing here is that he doesn't go out that often when he is in the house.

"I got all nervous for nothing," bulong ko sa sarili habang mahinahon na ibinaba ang kanina pa na naka-angat kong mga balikat dahil sa nerbyos.

Yet, just when I was about to walk towards my room a cold air quietly crossed at my back at sa paglingon ko, an awfully familiar face welcomed me.

"Oh, you're back," sabi ni Axel na naghihikab pa.

Don't tell me, he immediately teleported behind me as soon as he woke up?

Tumango ako bilang sagot. "Uh-huh... I don't feel good–"

Tumalikod ako ulit sa kanya at pipihitin na sana ang doorknob ng kwarto ko habang nagpapalusot.

Pero kung mamalasin nga naman ako, hindi na niya ako pinatapos na magsalita at nagwika na lang siya ng, "Come here for a sec, let me have a sip of your blood."

Hearing those words terrifies me.

A sip of my blood might be good to him but it is definitely bad for me and my heart.

Nasabi ko na ba kung ano talaga ang tunay na pakiramdam ko sa tuwing umiinom siya ng dugo ko?

I don't want to say this but if I were to be honest, having my blood sucked by this person is like getting my entire body tickled by invisible feathers. Mula ulo hanggang talampakan, at kasabay nito ay ang nakakapikit-matang sarap na unti-unting umuusbong sa puso ko. As if I am getting aroused. Yet, everything will only come to halt once he is over with his drink. And then another wave of a new sensation will invade my entire body once I see his after-drinking ­face. I become all h*rny out of the blue. Para bang pagkatapos ng lahat ng foreplay ay nagsisimula nang uminit ang katawan ko.

... And this itself should be nothing. A total nonsense.

"What?" tanong ko bilang pagkukunwari na hindi ko narinig ang sinabi ni Axel sa akin.

"Let me have a sip," Axel repeated as he took a step backwards to walk to the sofa.

"Why?" wika ko ulit.

Gumawi sa sofa ang mga mata ko. At mabilis na sumagi sa isipan ko ang halikan naming dalawa dito. Simula nun ay ilang araw na rin akong hindi umuupo sa mahabang sofa. I feel like fragments of memories and sensation are still in there and I shouldn't try to recall those because I will definitely hate myself.

Usually naman ay mabilis akong makalimot. Lalo na sa mga simpleng halik at pagtatalik, I mean, I've done it with many women. They just come and go. But Axel is living with me and he is not just a customer, he is someone very remarkable.

Why is he even remarkable to me?

Well, the answer is kind of obvious. It is because he is a vampire. Yet, when that variable is removed, him being a vampire, nothing remarkable remains remarkable anymore. At mas lalo lang akong nalilito dahil dito.

Naka-upo na sa sofa si Axel. Lumingon siya sa akin habang nakaukit sa mukha niya ang salita nalilito. His brows both raised, his eyes staring at me, and his lips a little crooked. He must be thinking that I am weird.

"Because I am hungry," simple niyang sabi, "It's been a while since I had some."

"But why?" tanong ko ulit.

Alam kong nagtutunog sirang plaka na ako rito. Kaso tila ba nakalimutan ng isip ko ang lahat ng palusot na hinanda ko kanina.

Obviously, it is too late for me to say that I am not feeling well.

"Why, what?" Tuluyan na nga na kumunot ang noo ni Axel.

He seems confused. Ako rin, pero iba ang dahilan.

"Why are you asking me about that? Isn't it obvious? I need to drink because I

am hungry. That's it," malinaw niyang paliwanag.

Well, I know about that but... "Uh... why do you have to drink my blood this time? Hindi ba't may blood packs kayo? 'Yung sa hospitals galing?" Nagkamot ako ng batok tapos ay naglakad patungo sa sofa na nasa harap ni Axel.

"Oh. If there's more, I wouldn't ask for yours now."

"What do you mean?"

"What I'm saying is that; yes, I had those, but I ran out of

them," he immediately replied. And as if he has a taxi waiting outside, Axel sprang

on his seat and stepped closer to me.

Magsasalita pa sana ako. I was about to suggest that I can drink through the glass. Handang-handa akong sugatan ang sarili ko para lang hindi dumapat sa balat ko ang mainit niyang labi. Kaso lang naalala ko na regardless of the method, he will still have to put his lips or tongue on my skin to licked it. Kailangan ko pa rin pala ang laway niya para mabilis na gumaling ang sugat ko.

How unfortunate.

Hindi na ako nagreklamo. Hinayaan ko na lang siya na kumapit sa balikat ko. Dahil mas matangkad ako sa kanya ay upo na lang ako sa sofa. As he pushed me down, he carefully placed his mouth in the area between my neck and shoulder.

"I'll be biting now," he whispered in my neck.

With his warm breath on my skin I can't help but jump in surprise.

"D-Do it quickly. Inaantok na ako," I managed to tell him despite being nervous.

Hindi ko na siya narinig pa na sumagot. Sunod ko na lang na naramdaman ang pamilyar na pagtusok ng kanyang matalim na pangil sa leeg ko.

"Ah!" I quietly exclaimed, trying to hold back the pain.

Siguro ay narinig ni Axel ang tahimik kong hinaing dahil saglit siyang tumigil sa pag-baon ng pangil niya sa balat ko. At naramdaman ko na lang ang mainit at malambot niyang dila. His teeth are still pierced on my flesh yet he had his tongue out a little bit to reach the area with swollen-like pain. Hindi ko alam kung anong mahika ang gamit niya but the brief licking eases the pain.

Ipinagpatuloy ni Axel ang pagbaon ng pangil niya sa balat ko and as soon as he starts sucking, I felt the area tightened.

The usual arousing feeling enveloped my body. Huli na nang namalayan ko ang sarili kong nakakapit sa damit ni Axel.

He paused. Hindi siya gumalaw ng ilang segundo at nilunok ko na lang din ang sakit sa leeg ko. As I grip tightly on his shirt, I can hear his silent gulps. And I am very pissed of how that sounds so good to my ears.

"Haa..." Axel breathed out when he was done drinking.

Binitawan na niya ang balikat ko, ganun din naman ako sa likuran niya.

"How about the pain?" tanong ko sa kanya when he did not immediately lick the wound.

Hindi na rin naman nagsalita si Axel at yumuko na lang ulit. His tongue brushed on my skin and his cold saliva covered the stinging area. Nang matapos na siya ay hindi ko sinasadya na magawi ang mga mata sa mukha niya.

I was trying so hard not to look at him. Pero nung lumingon ako para sana icheck lang siya sa balikat ko, hindi ko inaasahan na natapos na rin siya at tumayo na ng matuwid.

"We are having scarcity of supply due to conflicts," wika niya as he wiped his mouth, probably because there's blood around it. "Now, you should expect that I will drink yours more frequently than before," dagdag niya.

Tumikhim ako, kasabay nito ay ang pagtayo ko sa sofa. "Sure. I'll be in my room now," mabilis kong pagtakas ng hindi man lang siya tiningnan ulit sa mukha. Hindi rin ako sinagot ni Axel. That's better then. At tuluyan na akong pumasok sa kwarto ko.

Thirty minutes later, I have been peacefully lying on my bed. Pero hindi ako makatulog. I just got rid of Axel's beautiful face earlier on my head kaso ngayon na mapayapa na ang isipan ko ang tiyan ko na naman ang nag-aalboroto. Nagugutom na naman ako.

Iritable akong tumayo at lumabas ng kwarto. I checked the living room if Axel is still there but after checking and saw that it is quiet again ay lumabas na ako kaagad. Nagtungo ako ng kusina, binuksan ang ref, at naglabas ng pwede maluluto.

Nagugutom na naman ako.

Tahimik akong nag-hahanda ng mga sangkap nang marinig ko ang pagpitik ng pinto. Nasa kusina ako kaya imposible na pinto 'yun ng kwarto ko. Just as when I thought that it was not also Axel's dahil lagi lang siyang nag-teteleport palabas ng silid niya imbes na gumamit ng pinto, ay bigla kong narinig ang boses niya na tila ba may kausap sa telepono.

"Do you think I'll come to you with that twisted ideology you have? I am not your son... I don't love him anymore, in fact, I never did. You can't use him to bait me... Yes, I am that desperate for that piece of gold necklace you are talking about... I wish that mother never met you... Shut up... no wonder..."

He sounds hostile as if he is suppressing his anger. But then, after a few words of antagonism Axel's voice changed. He has become wary.

"N-No. I am not a traitor... You tricked me! The Supreme knows how devoted I am... I will still remain the way I am... Whose father are you? You're lying again... Human? So, Bernard told you about him? He is just a specimen; nothing more. So don't you ever threaten me using him..." Then, his voice reverted back to an angry and threatening voice like earlier, "... I will find you and make sure that you and Ronaldo will never come back to life. That bastard is not worth protecting. Freedom from humanity?" he scoffed, "are you kidding me? They never oppressed us! They might be ignorant but it was us who hurt their kind first... Never!"

Hearing Axel and how important this conversation must be, my hunger intensify. Pero wala akong lakas ng loob para gumalaw at humiwa ng ham.

Balak ko sana na manatili na lang na tahimik. Tutal babalik din naman siya kaagad sa kwarto niya. Pero may humabol pa pala na kamalasan ko ngayong araw. Nakalimutan ko na nagpapainit ako ng kanin sa microwave oven at ilang segundo pa lang nang naging tahimik si Axel ay umalingawngaw ang maingay na, teet... teet... teet na alarm nito.