M I L L E R

"Natapos mo na 'yung pinapagawa sa'yo ni Marie?"

"Oo. Ayos na. Sa'yo ba, medyo mahaba 'yung part mo 'di ba?"

Ah. There are two girls are ahead of me while I am on the way to the classroom. Kaklase ko rin sila sa subject na ito at mukhang pinag-uusapan nila ang tungkol sa group assignment ng lecture ngayong araw.

Oo nga pala, wala nga pala akong kagrupo. At kailangan ko pa pala na tapusin ang lahat ng gagawin na papers ng mag-isa.

Luminga-linga muna ako sa labas ng classroom bago pumasok. I wonder if Axel Wesley is already inside... just when I thought about it, I saw him inside the classroom with the usual number of crowds around him. He is as popular as ever.

"Ang aga ni Axel ngayon."

Usapan na naman ng dalawa kong kaklase na nasa harapan ko, and yes, it is still about Axel Wesley.

Before, I found it annoying to hear things about that guy. Wala na ba silang alam na pag-usapan maliban sa style ng buhok ni Axel Wesley, sa kulay ng suot niya, sa kung maaga ba siya o late pumasok sa school, o sa may kagrupo ba siya sa group assignment namin? Wala ba silang sariling mga buhay? But then, noong nagtagal, specifically about three months after I returned to college, I got used to it.

Alam ko naman na ganyan lang talaga ang nangyayari kung masyadong magaling mag-socialized ang isang tao at may high quality visuals pa. Every girl would probably flocked into him asking for his attention. There's no doubt about it dahil ganyan din ako pagkaguluhan dati nung may panahon at oras pa 'ko para sa sarili ko.

Well, at least I have my job where I can still flex my manly looks all night. I am not totally deprived in social life and attention.

"Okay, settle down everyone!" pagtawag atensyon ng professor namin na kararating lang.
Hinampas niya kaagad ang whiteboard at umupo sa teacher's table. Hindi pa man tuluyang nakakaupo ang lahat ay kaagad na niya kaming inutusan na, "Is there anyone of you who can do a recapitulation of our discussion last meeting?"

Nang marinig ng lahat ang sinabi ni Ma'am ay biglang tumahimik ang magulo namin na classroom.

"No one?" tanong niya.
Except with the tick tock noise of the wall clock, wala ng iba pang ingay na maririnig sa loob ng classroom. "If that's the case, shall I call someone then?"

Napansin ko ang sunod-sunod na malalim na paghinga ng dalawa kong katabi sa lamesa. Again, no one wants to be called.

"Okay, Mr. Wesley," tawag ng professor namin nang makita ang nakataas na kamay ni Axel Wesley.

"OMG. Axel saves the day!" mahinang tili ng dalawang babae sa harapan ko.

"In the last meeting, we had a discussion about Socrates, about his philosophy of self. After which we read the Allegory of the Cave, a book by Plato, who is also a student of Socrates..." Nagpatuloy si Axel sa pag-isa-isa sa mga ginawa namin noong nakaraan.

"Okay. Thank you, Mr. Wesley for the brief and clear recapitulation which your classmates can't even do despite being present on the same day." Tumayo si Ma'am then she sighed, "So, today we will be talking about another Philosopher and his philosophy about self. And after, I will be giving you another paper to do as a group and so on until we reach James William, the last Philosopher to discuss this sem..."

Nagpatuloy na nga sa lecture niya si Ma'am. Sa sandaling ito ay tinuturo niya sa amin ang pilosopiya ni Aristotle. A not so foreign name for us as we always hear his name to almost every academic subjects in.

Sa kabilang banda, while the professor is continuing her lecture, my mind is also wandering somewhere... and that is obviously none other than Axel Wesley and about the things that I cannot remember.

Hindi pa rin naaalis sa isipan ko ang nangyari. Sa tayog pa naman ng binagsakan ni Axel ay eto siya, buhay na buhay at lahat ng sugat niya sa gabing iyon ay mabilis na naghilom. And yes, we did kiss pero hindi na rin naman big deal 'yun sa akin. I've kissed a lot of women in my entire life and kissing a man is kind of the same thing except that he doesn't turn me on as women do... and he also bit my tongue. Yes, he bit my tongue. Pero, pakiramdam ko ay may isang bagay pang nangyari pagkatapos nun. I feel like something more shocking than him kissing me and biting my tongue happened, at may koneksyon ito sa kung bakit siya nabuhay sakabila ng matindi niyang pagkahulog.

"His face is still blurry." Sa tuwing pinipilit kong alalahanin kung ano ang nakita ko sa gabing iyon ay nagiging malabo na lang bigla ang mukha ni Axel.

I wanted to talk to him about that but if he always carries a crowd of people around him, mas pipiliin ko na lang siguro na halughugin ang isipan ko para lang maalala ang mga susunod na pangyayari.

"I'm not even drunk that night. Tsk!"

"Yes, Mr. De Leon?"

"Mm?" I paused.

W-What did I do?

"Is there something you want to say?"

Ah. I must have spoken out loud.

Kinalmahan ko ang sarili ko at nakangiting sinabi na, "Wala po. I was just mumbling a text from the book."

"O-Oh. Alright, sorry about that." Sinagot ko lang siya ng ngiti, she then continued to speak in the class. "I'll be expecting your papers for the Allegory of the Cave until next week then another week for the new paper by Aristotle. Don't be too complacent, a long due date doesn't give you an excuse to procrastinate. Do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am," sabay-sabay na tugon ng lahat.

With that reminder for upcoming schoolworks, our class ended.

As cliché as it may be, I have to prepare for my next class so I quickly clean my table. I was about to go when I noticed everyone's eyes were on me.

What is it this time?

"What do you want?" tanong ko sa mga nakatingin sa akin.

"Let's have a talk," sambit ng boses sa likod ko.

Mabilis akong lumingon at doon ko nakita si Axel na nakatayo.
Kaya naman pala panay ang tingin ng marami sa akin.

"I'm sorry but I still have my class," tanggi ko sa kanya.

"It's fine, we can talk on the way to your next lecture. I am free after this anyway."

Ah. This guy is really annoying. Akala ko ba wala ng susunod sa pagtatangka niyang pag-kausap sa akin kahapon.

Tumayo lang ako. Hindi ko binigay ang pahintulot ko but he still did what he said anyway. Sinabayan niya ako sa paglalakad palabas ng classroom. Nasa amin ang atensyon ng lahat at may naririnig pa akong mga katanungan, kagaya ng;

"Malapit ba sila sa isa't isa?"

"Do they know each other?"

"Woah, lucky De Leon."

If he wanted to talk, we can have it somewhere with no one but us two. May mga tanong din ako, kaso wala lang talaga akong oras ngayon. I wasn't making an excuse when I told him I am busy.

"I have known you for quite some time. I always notice you in our Philosophy class since you are the only guy who has a decent face. The girls always compare me to you but they ended up choosing me since you lack social skills," nakangiti niyang litanya.

Is he bragging about his popularity?

"Ano ba ang gusto mong sabihin?" tanong ko bago lumiko sa kanan.

"Oh, about that. I was wondering if you remember the kiss?"

"I do. Who wouldn't forget about something as sudden as that one?"

"S-Sorry about that. I was too out of it because of what happened that night. I ran out of strength for running desperately..." he lowered his voice and continued to speak about something that I can't even hear.

"Hey, if you are going to talk to yourself you can just walk separately with me," sambit ko.

Wala na kasi siyang ibang ginawa kung hindi ang umagaw ng atensyon.

"N-No. I'm not yet done. I was just going to ask you why I was in your house?"

Seriously, ito ang gusto niyang pag-usapan namin?

"You fell in the alley I was... I was passing through the other night. You seem to be in a bad condition so I brought you home, since it's closer than a hospital. I was going to attend to your wounds when you woke up and kissed... kissed me," pabulong kong sabi.

"I'm sorry again. I was conscious back then though. I just really need your essence. My condition was so bad that I could have died."

That's what I wanted to point out. Paanong nabuhay pa siya sa ganoong sitwasyon?

"It's fine. Wala rin naman akong naintindihan sa sitwasyon mo noong gabi na 'yun. Ang akin lang ay sana mabayaran mo ko sa ginastos kong pera sa binili kong gamot mo. Ah, hindi mo rin naman pala ginamit 'yun. Siguro kahit sa pagpapatuloy ko na lang sa'yo sa bahay ko. You can give me a small amount of money if it's fine." I know I sound so pathetic asking for money instead of putting it as an act of kindness but what else can I do if I also need kindness. Wala akong pera.

"Hm? I thought you came from a prominent family."

I was. My family was.

"Nope. Not at all," I paused, then said, "Ano? Are you going to pay or not?"

Tumigil kami sa paglalakad at hinarap ang isa't isa. Inilahad ko na rin ang palad ko para humingi sa kanya ng pera.

Axel Wesley looked at me with a reluctant eye. Mukhang nagdadalawang-isip siya na bigyan ako ng pera. I know, I sound so cheap right now pero malapit nang matapos ang linggo. I don't want to get beaten. Kasi kung nagkataon ay kakailanganin kong umabsent sa trabaho ko sa club at hintayin na maghilom ang mga pasa ko. Lagot ako kung nagkataon, mas mahihirapan akong kumita ng pera.

"Fine. A small bill wouldn't hurt," sabi niya sabay buntong-hininga, pagkatapos nun ay dumukot siya sa kanyang bulsa.

A blue bill.
Yes. May blue bill siya na dinukot niya lang sa bulsa na para bang isa lang itong barya.

I smirked. What a lucky bastard.
"What now?" angal niya.

Sasagutin ko na sana ang tanong niya nang biglang bumukas ang pinto na nasa likod ko.

"Oh, Mr. Wesley. Great timing, I was just about to ask a student to look for you," a male professor said as soon as he saw Axel Wesley outside the faculty room.

"Mr. Douglas. What can I do for you?"

"I heard that your thesis is ab—"

Hindi ko na hinintay pa na matapos sila sa pag-uusap nila at pasimple na lang na umalis.

"U-Uhm... De-De Leon!" rinig kong tawag ni Axel Wesley sa akin pero hindi ako lumingon at tinaasan lang siya ng kamay bago lumiko sa susunod na corridor.

Bahala siya. Sinabi ko naman sa kanya na busy at may lecture pa ako.

* * *

I safely attended my lectures this morning. Hindi ko na rin nakita sa labas ng klase ko si Axel Wesley. I guess he was caught by the professors or anyone from the school na panay sunod nang sunod sa kanya.

Nasa part time na ako ngayon at kasalukuyang binabantayan ang cashier. Wala pa ang kasama ko pati si Sir Randolf kaya ako na muna mag-isa. Good thing na natapos ko kahapon ang pagre-refill ng rack ko.

"Good day!" masigla kong bati nang tumunog ang chimes ng pinto, hudyat na may papasok na customer. Nagmadali akong tapusin ang paglilinis ko sa cashier table para tingnan kung sino ang pumasok. But when I did the person was already in the rack kaya hindi ko na nakita ang mukha niya. Namimili na siguro siya ng bibilhin.

Not too long, ay natapos na ang kustomer then he went to the counter to pay.

"It's you again," sambit ko nang makita na naman ang mukha na pinaka-iniiwasan ko ngayon.

"Hello, De Leon," bati ni Axel Wesley sa akin habang inilalapag sa counter ang binili niyang inumin.

I scoffed. "Are you serious? Do you really want to talk to me enough to follow me in my part time job?"

Nagkaroon ng saglit na katahimikan sa pagitan namin, na kaagad din naman na binasag ng dumating kong katrabaho.

"Hi, Mill."

"Hello," tugon ko naman sa kanya na hindi inaalis ang nakakunot kong mga tingin kay Axel Wesley.

Sinundan ni Axel ng tingin ang katrabaho ko hanggang sa pumasok na ito ng staff room. Para ba na sinisigurado niya na kami lang dalawa ang nasa paligid at ayaw niyang may makarinig sa susunod niyang sasabihin.

"I still have a lot to talk to you, but the thing is, it's top secret so I would like to have it in private," litanya niya sa kalmado na tono ng boses.

"What do you imply then?"

"I'll wait for you. But first, let me have my drink. I'm thirsty."