CHAPTER 22
Gone

My heart won’t stop beating fast. I wasn’t aware that my tears are falling already. Nanginginig ang kamay ko at halos hindi ko na mahawakan ang aking cellphone.

“What happened, dad?” I managed to ask.

I heard him sobbed. “She’s experiencing severe headache again. She wants to see you, Franz.”

“Yes, Dad. I’m on the way. Wait for me,”

Ibinaba ko na ang tawag bago binalingan si Brandon. Bakas din sa mukha niya ang pag-aalala.

“What happened, Franz? Anong sinabi ni Tito Matthew?” tanong niya.

“Mommy is experiencing severe headache again. Gusto niya raw akong makita. Kailangan nating pumunta sa hospital agad.”

“Let’s go. I’ll drive you there.”

Mabilis kaming nagtungo sa parking lot at sumakay sa sasakyan niya. Hindi ako mapakali habang nasa biyahe kami.

The drive to the hospital wasn’t that long. Pagkaparada ng sasakyan ay agad akong tumakbo papunta sa kwarto ni mommy. Naabutan ko si daddy sa labas, nakaupo at nakayukong umiiyak.

“Daddy, where’s mom?” I asked, nervously.

He looked at me with those red puffy eyes. “She’s inside. I already talked to her. She’s waiting for you.”

Bakit gano’n? Parang may kakaiba kay daddy. I hate overthinking but the thoughts start running through my mind. Sana mali ang iniisip ko. Sana hindi totoo.

Pumasok ako sa loob ng kwarto ni mommy. Nilapitan ko siya at hinawakan ang mga kamay niya.

“F-Franz…” Nahihirapang sabi ni mommy.

Namumutla na siya at hinang-hina na. I can’t help but cry while looking to my mother.

“Mommy what’s wrong? May masakit po ba sa ’yo? Wait, I’ll call the doctor—

Napahinto ako nang hawakan ni mommy ang kamay ko. She faintly smiled at me.

“I’m fine… don’t leave…” Hindi na ako nagpumilit pa. Ayaw ko rin naman siyang iwan. “You are so beautiful Franz, you know that?” Nangingiting sabi ni mommy.

I nodded. “Ofcourse, I have the most beautiful mother in the universe, that’s why,” I answered while the tears fell like waterfalls.

“You are the most precious gift from God. Nahirapan ako sa pagbubuntis ko sa ’yo kaya hindi na kita sinundan pa. I am contented with one angel and that’s you. I-I love you and I accept every imperfections you have. And I felt like… I am the luckiest mom in the world because I have a daughter like you. F-Franz…please take good care of yourself when I’m gone—

“Mommy, don’t say that. You’re not gonna leave us. Please stay, mommy. Please don’t give up…”

She reached for my face and wiped my tears. I leaned on her touch. My heart breaks all over again at this moment. I hate being left behind. I hate saying goodbyes.

“Franz…I don’t want to give up but….I am too weak to fight this cancer… Can I rest now?”

Lalo akong napaiyak sa sinabi ni mommy. I knew that this day will come. The day that she will say goodbye and leave us. But I didn’t expect it to be this early. I’m not yet ready at hindi ko alam kung magiging handa ba ako sa araw na ito.

“Mommy…ayaw ko pong nakikita kang nahihirapan at kung hindi mo na po kaya… P-Puwede ka na pong magpahinga. But, please give me time, g-give us a little time to be with you. I love you, Mommy. You are the most important woman in my life…I don’t want to lose you…b-but I have to let you go…just give us time.”

Naramdaman kong may yumakap sa ’kin. Si daddy na umiiyak. I know that he is hurting too. He loves my mom more than anything. They’ve been in hard times together.

“Hon…please take good care of Franz. And also yourself. Hu-Huwag masiyadong magpapagod sa trabaho…I love you…I love you so much…”

Hinawakan ni daddy ang kamay ni mommy. “Hon…I love you, too. And it hurts me so much that you will leave us. I’m sorry if I can’t take away the pain. Don’t worry I will take good care of Franz.”

Unti-unting pumikit ang mga mata ni mommy. And her hand slowly slipped away from mine. Realizations hit me like thunder.

No!

“Mommy! Don’t leave us please. Mommy! Daddy call the doctor! Let’s save mommy!”

“Please save my wife….”

Nagtulong-tulong ang mga doctor para isagip si mommy. Hindi na maawat ang mga luha ko at sobrang lakas ng kabog ng aking dibdib.

Hanggang sa nakarinig ako ng matinis na tunog na nanggagaling sa heartbeat machine.

No..this can’t be! Lord, help my mother please.

“Time of death 9:36pm,”

At tuluyan na ngang gumuho ang mundo namin ni daddy. Ang mundo kung saan kasama namin si mommy. We lost her.  We lost the most important woman in our life. We lost my mom. She already left us.

Lumapit si daddy kay mommy. I can’t take it anymore!

Tumakbo ako palabas ng kwarto. Tumakbo ako nang tumakbo. Hindi ko alam kung saan pupunta. Gusto kong lumayo. Ayaw kong tanggapin na wala na si mommy. Hindi ko kaya.

Napatingala ako sa langit. It is clear that moment. I can’t see any stars. I let my tears fall and before I knew it, I’m already shouting.

“YOU ARE SO UNFAIR! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GET MY MOMMY?! W-WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?! BAKIT SIYA PA? BAKIT SI MOMMY PA?? I PRAYED FOR HER RECOVERY BUT YOU DIDN’T HEAR ME OUT! T-TOTOO KA BA TALAGA?! YES YOU GIVE LIFE TO PEOPLE…BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT BACK THIS EARLY?”

Nanghihina akong napaupo sa semento. “Why do you have to do this to my family?”

“Franz? What are you doing here? I just went to the comfort room and then your father said you ran away.”

Nilingon ko si Brandon at agad siyang niyakap. Umiyak ako sa balikat niya at pakiramdam ko wala nang katapusan sa pag-agos ang mga luha ko.

“Brandon… She’s…she’s g-gone. My mother is dead. You said everything will be fine! But it’s not!”

“Franz, maybe God has a better plans for you and your family—

“What plans huh? Plan to make our lives miserable? Ha!”

“Franz, don’t say that. Never question God and His power. Trust Him. He will mend your broken heart, maybe not now but soon.”

I hope so. But even though the pain subside, the scar will permanently stays in my heart.

“Get up Franz, your dad needs you. He needs your comfort. He needs to feel that he is not alone.”

That’s when I realized that he is right. Daddy needs me. I need to be strong for dad. I need to be the source of his strength. Ngayong wala na si mommy, kaming dalawa na lang ni daddy ang magkaramay sa lahat. At hindi ko siya iiwan.