We are finally down to the last chapter of the story. Grabe, it's been a long journey and I thanked everyone of you who walks with me up until this very end. Maraming salamat sa walang sawang suportang binigay niyo sa akin. Your comments kept me motivated, always. I know I still have a lot to improve, I'm still new but the support you're giving me is overwhelming. Kahit matagal ang daloy ng kwento, hindi niyo kami sinukuan. Maraming, maraming salamat po sa inyo!

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Present

Isa. Dalawa. Tatlo. Hanggang sa hindi ko nabilang ang mabilis na paglipas ng buwan na umabot ng taon. It’s been a year since I returned. At sa loob ng isang taon, unti-unti ring bumalik ang nalimot kong mga alaala.

I now finally remembered everything.

Mula sa umpisa. Nang ako’y nagkaroon ng kakayahang mag-isip, sumulat, magbasa, at tumayo sa sariling mga paa. I reconnected with Drake, and bravely closes that chapter of my life with him. I demanded for a closure.

Alam ko sa sarili ko na kailangan kong gawin iyon, dahil isa iyon sa mga rason kung bakit ako napunta sa sitwasyong kinailangan pakasalan ang ibang tao upang patunayan at ipamukha sa kaniyang kaya ko rin. Kaya kong maghanap ng iba at kalimutan siya katulad nang kung paano niya ako kabilis kalimutan.

Ang mga iyon ay parte nang aking nakaraan, at nagsilbing aral na hindi dahil ako ang nasa tabi ay ako na rin ang magiging huli. Love can’t be forced. And not all love shall be reciprocated. May mga pagmamahal na mapagpalaya...

“Mama, smile for me!”

Napatingin ako kay Xander nang bigla itong sumigaw. He was holding his camera. Today is my birthday and we are celebrating it here in Barcelona with my family. Kasama namin si Zayd at ang asawa niya, maging sila ate Laureen ay narito rin.

Eira chose this place. She personally requested to visit Barcelona and celebrates my birthday here. Siya ang binibigyan ko ng desisyong kung saan nito gustong magbakasyon. She loves traveling a lot and it's time to make up for those years I've lost pampering her with all that she wants.

“One more, Mama!”

I chuckled at my son. Nasa Botanical Garden kami at may suot akong flower crown na si Eira mismo ang nagbigay. My daughter's with Laureen and ate Giselle.

I smiled at my son cutely. Sa pangalawang shot ay kumindat ako na nagpatawa sa kaniya. We roamed around the garden for the rest of the time. The smile on my children's face is enough to complete my day. Pagkatapos doon ay bumisita rin kami Picasso Museum. When night came, we had our dinner at the hotel where we're staying.

"Happy birthday, Mommy! I love you so..so...much! More than I fancy Winnie!" Eira happily announced, holding a cake.

"Happy birthday, Mama." it was Xander, smiling.

"Tita pretty, happy birthday po! Here's our little gift.." Laureen handed me her present.

My heart warmed witnessing the kids. The three are standing in front of us. The rest of our family looked so proud and pleased as they watched the kids with glee. Ate Giselle was even filming the scene.

It was a wonderful night. Simula kaninang umaga hanggang sa gumabe ay aktibong-aktibo ang mga bata. I thought the activities would exhaust them, but to my surprise, their energy was unbeatable that they're still up even after dinner.

We're already at our room. Nakapagpalit na sila nang pantulog while I took a quick shower. The three of us shared a presidential suit with my parents.

"Yes, Daddy. Tomorrow nine is our flight. Will you pick us up? I have a lot of story to tell!"

Nagpupunas ako ng basang buhok habang ang dalawa kong anak ay nakadapa sa kama, kaharap ang iPad ni Eira.

"Daddy, it's so fun here. I wish you're with us to celebrate Mommy's birthday." Eira stopped and tilted her head to glance at her brother side.

"Wait, have you sent the photo, Xandy?"

Hindi ko nakikita si Chaz mula sa pwesto ko ay ayaw ko ring disturbohin ang tatlo. Humilig ako sa hamba ng pinto ng banyo habang patuloy na pinagmamasdan sila.

"Yes, I did. Dad even posted it on his story." I can hear the teasing tone on my son's voice.

Eira giggled and face the iPad again.

"If only you could see her in person, Daddy. She's way prettier than in those photos!"

I crossed my arms over my chest. She? Sino naman kaya ang pinag-uusapan ng mag-amang ito? At talagang ang anak ko pa ang ginagawang tulay!

"Love, she's always pretty. Kahit nga tulog ganda-ganda pa rin no'n," I heard Chaz baritone voice.

"Dad, earlier there's this scumbag who tried to hit on her. We were at the Botanical Garden, when she was approached by this ugly monkey. Of course, like what we've talked I didn't give those man to have a long conversation with her. I told him frankly to back off. She already have a children and he's doesn't pass her taste."

My lips parted at Xander's next words. Kaya pala.. kaya pala nag susungit ito nang may nagtangkang mag pa picture sa akin kanina! The man was just asking kindly if he can have a picture with me. Pero si Xander, agad nag alaska at sinungitan!

"Oh yes, Dad! I saw it too. It's a good thing we're here to guard, Mommy. We don't want another man. We only want you.." Eira seconded with soft voice.

Chaz Theo laughed on the other line. Tila natutuwa sa mga naririnig.

"Good job, kids. I'm so proud of you two.." he said, chuckling. "Your Mom's not yet done showering? Still on the bathroom?"

Napatuwid ako nang tayo. Lumingon si Eira sa gawi ko, saka ako nito tinuro.

"Oh she's done, Daddy! Mommy come here, Dad wants to talk to you!"

I started walking until I reached the bed. Tumihaya ng higa si Xander, humihikab. Eira on the other hand grab the iPad before handing it to me.

"We'll sleep na, Mommy. You take your time with Daddy."

I pursed my lips. It's on a video call. Chaz seemed to be on his bedroom, according to his background. Topless ito at nakahilig ang ulo sa headrest ng kama.

"Good night, Mommy. Happy birthday, again..."

I cleared my throat and dragged my gaze to my daughter. Eira kissed my cheeks before jumping into the bed again. Xander lifted the comforter for her sister. I put the iPad on the night stand first and tucked the kids to bed.

"Good night, sweethearts. Thank you for today. You two made me so happy," I said before kissing their heads.

Nang masigurong maayos na sila ay saka lang ako umayos ng tayo. I grab the gadget again and turned on the lamp shade. Hinagilap ko rin ang switch ng ilaw saka ito pinatay. I then went to the balcony and opened the glass door.

"Tulog na?" Chaz said with his low and husky voice.

I swallowed hard. His voice is giving me chills. Isama pang titig na titig na naman ito na halos hindi kumurap!

"Uh.. yeah. Napagod yata," I said as I sat on the one seater sofa.

"How about you? Aren't you tired?"

Madilim sa parteng ito at tanging ilaw mula sa iPad ang nagbibigay liwanag sa kabuuang mukha ko.

"Sort of, but Eira said you have something to discuss with me? What is it?" I asked, staring at him.

Chaz didn't say a words for a seconds. Nakatitig lang ito sa akin, malamlam ang mga mata. I noticed the rise and fall of his chest and I tried not to glanced at it. This is not the first time I saw him bare chested but still, it feels like a sin to have even just a simple glimpse!

"It's nothing serious. I just want to see you and well, greet you a happy birthday?" he said after a while.

"You were literally the first person to greet me today. I bet you didn't sleep and waited for 12 midnight. Di pa ba pag bati ang tawag doon?" I arched him a brow.

"Text lang naman 'yon, iba pa rin kung nakikita kita."

I rolled my eyes playfully making Chaz chuckled.

"Happy birthday, hermosa.." Chaz whispered on the other line.

I bite my lower lip. Tumikhim ako saka iniwas ang tingin sa screen. His voice is so husky.. and..sexy alright! It was just a simple greeting. Hindi pa nga personal pero ganito ang epekto sa akin.

"Tulog ka na, Grace. I'll call tomorrow before your flight.."

Dumako muli ang tingin ko sa kaniya. Namumula ng bahagya ang mata ng lalake, mapupungay at parang sa aming dalawa siya pa dapat ang matulog.

"Ikaw dapat ang matulog na, Chaz. Looked at your eyes, they're weary and restless."

Tumaas ang isa sa makakapal niyang kilay. Ginulo pa nito ang buhok. Dalawang araw pa lang ang nakakaraan mula ng huli naming pagkikita but looking at his face, it already felt like a decade.

"Is that a challenge?" nanunuyang tanong nito.

"What challenge? I'm stating fact here kasi tignan mo nga 'yang sarili mo! Para kang pagod na pagod."

"Don't try me, woman. I can talk to you all night, until dawn." rason niya.
"And oh, don't mind my eyes. Ganito ako tumitig lalo pa kung ikaw ang kaharap ko.. walang kupas sa ganda,"

My cheeks flushed. I just rolled my eyes and pretended unaffected. I'm exhausted but I don't see myself resting at this hour. Instead, I want to prolong this conversation. I don't want this call to end.

Maaga akong gumising kinabukasan sa kabila nang katotohanang late na ako nakatulog kagabe. Babalikan ko ang nakitang ceramic cup sa isang shop na binisita namin noong nakaraang araw. Tulog pa ang mga bata at kahit ang nga magulang ko nang lumabas ako ng hotel. I hailed a cab and in no time, I reached the destination.

One looked at this amazing handmade ceramic and there's one person that registered in my head. He likes drinking coffee. Sa tuwing naroon ako sa Heavenly Grind, at nagkakataong bumibisita din ang lalake, kape ang palagi nitong binibili.

Napahinga ako nang maluwag nang makita ang cup. Wala na akong inaksayang oras at agad na binili iyon.
Bago bumalik ay dumaan muna ako sa La Pastisseria. A famous pastry shop, that according to what I've researched. It's down a side street, behind the Santa Maria del Mar Cathedral. As I was scanning for a perfect cake,  I heard a voice of lady beside me, a very familiar voice.

"One Briocheria and Nuestros Clasicos,"

"Mamá, I want the Croissant."

I lifted my head and saw a very familiar woman, standing a few steps away from me. My eyes narrowed at the little girl she's holding on her right hand. Her hair is braided into two. May suot pang head band at may bangs.

"What? I thought you want the Nuestros Clasicos?"

Her focus was on the kid, she didn't noticed my presence. Natigilan ako at binaling ang atensyon sa kanilang dalawa.

"I can have both, sí? Nuestros Clasicos and Croissant are both delicioso, Mamá." katwiran ng bata.

Tumawa siya. Yumuko saka nanggigil na hinalikan sa pisngi ang bata.

"Alright, alright. We have to hurry now. I'll be late with my work,"

I was staring at her, for too long that I wasn't surprised she felt my gaze. Nang sandaling mag-angat ito ng tingin, unti-unting nawala ang ngiting nakapaskil sa kaniyang mukha at napalitan ito ng gulat at pagtataka.

“Jenny..” I murmured her name, smiling timidly.

Her lips parted, flabbergasted seeing me. Well we're the same. Gulat din akong makita siya at malamang may anak na ito. Tagal na nga talaga ng panahon ang lumipas. I tried contacting her when I recovered my memories. Pinuntahan ko rin ang dating opisina at nagtanong sa mga dating katrabaho tungkol sa kaniya ngunit sa kasamaang palad, wala silang balita.

Now, she's here, in all flesh.. and with daughter.

“Do you still use your social media? Maybe we can keep in touch there,” I said.

Sa halip na umuwi, natagpuan ko ang sariling nakaupo kaharap si Jenny at anak nitong si Nicole. Dalawang taon ang agwat ng mga anak ko sa kaniya. She's currently eating her bread.

“Ay hindi na, eh. Hayaan mo, susubukan kong gumawa ng bago at ikaw agad ang kokontakin ko. Alam mo na, busy Momma na me.” Jenny said, chuckling.

I chuckled too. Sinulyapan ko si Nicole. Kamukha nito ang ama. Like her, I don't know what's going on with his life too. Noong nakaraang buwan lang ay nagkita kami ni David, pero wala rin itong nakwento tungkol sa kaibigan.

“Hmm, seems like she got the genes of her father a lot huh. I can see him through her, luging-lugi ka” I said teasingly.

“Wala, eh. Sarap na sarap ang gagong ‘yon, ginalingan ko ba naman.” Jenny said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Crazy, your kid is just right here. Filter your words."

Tumawa ito.

"Safe. Hindi ko 'to tinuruang mag tagalog. Hindi naman iyon ang salitang ginagamit dito,"

My eyes softened. Jenny looked tough. Laughing, but I know behind those smile is a painful story.

"You have no plans of going home?" 

Sumulyap si Jenny sa anak bago binalik sa akin.

"This is our home, Pia. I have no intentions of leaving this place. Dito, masaya kami. Kontento at malayo sa gulo.." makahulugan nitong sabi.

I nodded my head understandingly. I have no right to question her decision. The least I could do is support her.

"If you need help, don't hesitate to call me." Hinaplos ko ang buhok ni Nicole. "Sayang, hindi ko maipapakilala ang mga anak ko. Next time, I guess?"

"Oh, 'yong mga inaanak ko dami ko nang utang sa kanila. Hayaan mo, sabihin mo ilista lang muna. Naghahanap pa ng afam ang ninang nila kamo," natatawang saad ni Jenny.

Hindi rin naman nagtagal ang naging pag-uusap namin at may hinahabol daw itong trabaho. We exchange numbers, making sure we'll still communicate. Ramdam ko ang daming tanong ng babae, pero hindi katulad noon na agad-agad itong nagtatanong.

When I returned to the hotel, I explained to them what truly happened. May binili akong pasalubong at hindi inaasahang makikita any dating kakilala.

It was Chaz Theo who fetched the kids at the airport the moment we arrived at the Philippines. They will go to his parents mansion, while I'll head to my coffee shop. Sila Mommy ay sinundo ng family driver. Dad wants me to go with them to rest, but I declined politely as I have to visit the shop.

"We'll drop you off first, hija. Come on," si Daddy sabay bukas ng pinto ng van.

Nasa unahan ang silver na Porsche ni Chaz Theo, kakasara lang ng pinto sa backseat. I pressed my lips together as I looked at him and then back to my father. Napag-usapan namin kagabe na ihahatid niya muna ako bago tuluyang magpunta sa bahay ng mga magulang, pero mukhang..

"Dad, Chaz is here. Hayaan mo na si Pia sa kaniya," gatong ni Ate Giselle.

Kuya Tyrone was here too. Kalong nito ang natutulog na si Laureen at naghihintay na lang kay Ate na mukhang hinihintay muna kaming makaalis.

"Ano, lalahatin niya na? Nasa kaniya na nga ang mga apo ko, pati ba ang ina hindi rin papalampasin?"

Nakagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi. My Dad really..

"No, Sir. I don't mind if Grace will go with you. I'll still see her later anyway,"

Dad's face darkened. He glared at Chaz but the latter was unaffected. Nagawa pang ngumiti sa aking ama na kulang na lang ay umusok ang ilong sa inis.

Mom laughed and patted Dad's shoulder. Maging si Ate Giselle ay humalakhak din. Sa huli ay natagpuan ko pa rin ang sarili sa loob ng van kasama ang mga magulang ko at ang kapatid kong si Zayd saka si Bianca.

"Sa condo ko na lang ako magpapahinga pagkatapos kung bisitahin ang shop, Daddy. Don't worry about me, and you two should rest." sabi ko.

"Huh, you mean with that man around, Sofia?" Dad hissed under his breath. "Regine, told you our daughter moving out of our home is not a good idea. Masasalisihan lang tayo ng kung sinong asong ulol sa anak natin!"

"Pwede ba, Franciss. Kaya ka dumadami 'yang mga puting buhok mo dahil diyan na kung tutuusin hindi naman dapat pinoproblema!"

Nagkatinginan kami ni Zayd. Tumaas ang kilay ng kapatid ko sa akin at alam na namin kung saan ito patutungo.

"That man is walking dilemma! Hindi ko nga alam kung paano niyo nagagawang pakitungan ang animal na 'yon! At kung hindi dahil sa apo ko, baka matagal ko nang nasa kulungan ang pisteng 'yon!"

I just sighed heavily. Pamilyar na pamilyar ang mga salitang sinasabi ni Daddy sa mahigit isang taon ba namang lagi iyong binabato kapag kami-kami lang ang magkakasama. It was like his way of reminding his self how he should behave around him.  Parang nagiging paraan na lang iyon ni Daddy para hindi tuluyang makalimutang galit dapat siya sa lalaki.

"Ewan ko sa'yo, Franciss. Kung hindi ka tumanda saka naman naging matigas 'yang bungo mo and you kept on cursing. Halatang-halata ang katandaan!" iling ni Mommy.

Para naman binuhusan ng malamig na tubig ang ama ko. Nahimasmasan at agad na sinuyo si Mommy.

I shook my head and gaze outside the window. I decided to live on my condo unit again the moment I started with my coffee shop. Hindi naging matagal ang proseso dahil sa mismong building kung saan ang boutique ni Ate Giselle ko napiling itayo ang Heavenly Grind. On the first floor, there's my shop while the second is where my sister's boutique is located.

Menerva and Roberta are helping me to run the business. At sa unang dalawang buwan, sa condo ko sila nakatira until they decided to move out. Binalikan ko sila sa Monhon nang tuluyang matayo ang negosyo ko.
When they learned about Rhys, they were disappointed too. Nanghihinayang at nasasaktan.

I have no idea what happened to him. Last time I checked, he went to Monhon as it was his hometown originally. Though, I didn't see him when I visited the island to get my two friends. I just hope he's fine. Maybe soon, I'll have the courage to face him again. Time.. that's what I need for now.

“Magandang hapon, Ma’am!”

“Welcome back, Ma’am and belated happy birthday po!”

Iyon ang sumalubong sa akin pagkapasok ko sa shop. So far, Heavenly Grind is doing pretty well these past few months. Advantage na ring nasa isang building lang kami at ang sikat na clothing line ng bansa which my sister owned.

I saw Roberta, walking towards me with a grin plastered on her face. I texted her saying I'll visit the shop.
Roberta handed me a bouquet of Lily flowers together with chocolates before dragging me to a vacant table. Si Menerva ay nakasunod sa amin. Mabuti na lang at hindi marami ang customer.

"Grabe talaga si Chaz, porque wala ka rito hindi man lang dumaan, kahit sulyap! Samantalang noong narito ka'y halos hindi na matanggal ang pwet sa upuan!" Roberta started.

"Alangan namang pumarito iyon eh wala rito ang sadya. Si Sofia lang naman ang dahilan kung bakit regular customer ng Heavenly Grind ang lalakeng iyon." si Menerva.

"Sipsip kamo! Buti at hindi pa sinasagot ni Sofia. Nako, hindi deserve makuha ang yes!" Roberta ranted. "Pero change topic, kumusta naman ang Barcelona? Nakita mo ba roon si Celine at Ely?"

I'm supposed to asked how their day went, but it was completely the opposite as Roberta began bombarding me with questions about my trip. I stayed there for hours. Kung hindi pa dumating si Chaz at ang mga bata ay baka naroon pa ako.

Pagdating namin sa condo ay naalala ko ang biniling ceramic cup. Chaz offered to cook for our dinner while the kids watched on the living room. Kinuha ko iyong pagkakataong para ibigay sa kaniya ang pasalubong.

"It's okay, Grace. You should stay with the kids while I prepare for our foods." Chaz said nonchalantly.

Ang assuming talaga ng isang 'to. It's not like I'll help him. Ni hindi man lang tumingin sa gawi ko at kahit hindi pa ako nagsasalita'y alam na agad kung sino ang pumasok.

"Wala naman akong sinabing tutulungan kita."

Chaz swayed his body around. Nakasuot pa ito ng apron. Nasa baywang ang kaliwang kamay habang may hawak na sandok ang kanan.

"Oh, bago pa magbago ang isip ko't itapon sa basurahan!" sabi ko saka nilagay sa lamesa ang paper bag.

Chaz eyes widened. Amusement dance on his orbs, staring at the paperbag. He put the ladle down and went in front of me. The marmol table's separating our bodies.

"What's this for?" he asked as he grab the thing. "I should be the one giving you present. Ikaw ang nag birthday, ah? Bakit ako ang may regalo?"

Iniwas ko ang mga mata at piniling tignan ang mga gamit panluto. I don't know too. When I looked at it, it was him whom I remembered.

"Don't be flattered. I also brought something for my friends. You're not the only one,"

I dragged my gaze to him and saw his arched brow. It's as if he's not buying my alibi.

"At saka oo nga pala! Where's my gift, Chaz Theo? Don't tell me you have none?" pag-iiba ko ng usapan.

"Answer me first and you'll have the best and unforgettable present from me. That's a promise," he said, smirking playfully.

Umawang ang labi ko at magsasalita na sana nang maunahan niya ako.

"It can talk. Can walk, and has the ability to comfort you during tough times. Iyon nga lang, kailangan munang maging tayo bago mo makuha ang regalo ko."

Tumalikod siya at muling hinarap ang niluluto. I rolled my eyes and turned my back around.

"No thanks. I can buy my own present. I can surprise myself too! Akala mo!"

I heard him chuckled and murmured something that didn't reached my ears. I was not expecting anything from him. But of course, Chaz The being Chaz Theo, the pabibo at hindi nagpapatalo, binigyan pa rin ako ng bulaklak at hair scrunchie from Chanel.

Chaz can visit the unit freely. Kailangan siya ng mga bata and I am not too cruel to strip him his rights as their father. Si Xander ay dito na talaga natutulog sa akin. Kasama si Eira, hindi na ito kinukuha ni Chaz at siya na lang mismo ang dumadalaw.

Days passed again like a whirlwind. Ang kambal ay nasa mga magulang ni Chaz sinalubong ang bagong taon. They're with us last Christmas. Tita Salvacion and the rest of her family deserve to be with the twins as they celebrate the holiday. Habang ako ay nanatili sa puder ng mga magulang. Though, they called me over the phone. Not letting the night passed without greeting me.

“Mommy, Lola is calling!” I heard Eira voice followed by her footsteps.

Pinahinaan ko ang apoy ng niluluto at bumaling sa pinto ng kusina. Papasok ang anak ko, dala-dala ang cellphone na panay ang ring.

“Thank you, baby.” I smiled and accepted the phone.

“Welcome po!” she beamed before running back to where her father and brother is.

We’re on my condo unit. Nasa sala ang mag-ama. Galing sa trabaho si Chaz at dito dumiretso para makita ang mga bata.

“What?” I asked, horrified at my Mom’s statement.

Halos mabitawan ko pa ang sariling telepono sa pagkawindang.

“Darling, it was your tita Nieves who called! Kritikal ang kondisyon ni Veronica at nasa ICU raw until now!” Mom said hysterically.

Nanghihinang napaupo ako sa upuan. Bumagsak sa marmol na lamesa ang kamay kong may hawak na telepono ngunit si Mommy ay nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita.

“She got into car accident, hija. Veronica was under the influence of alcohol while driving. Bumangga sa isang truck, and.. I don’t get the whole story kasi hindi ko na maintindihan ang ibang sinasabi ni Nieves dahil panay ang hagulhol! Basta mababa raw ang tsyansang makaligtas ang pinsan mo."

My mind went blank. All I could hear was her painful words. I can imagine her, on the hospital bed, with a lot of apparatus. At si Tita Nieves..

“She was asking you to go there.. nakikiusap ang tita mo na pumunta ka raw doon. Ang pangalan mo ang huling sinabi ni Veronica bago ito tuluyang mawalan ng malay.”

Nagpatuloy si Mommy sa pagsasalita pero ang utak ko’y parang wala nang maintindihan bukod sa katotohanang malala ang kalagayan ng pinsan ko.

My chest constricted. My eyes started to heat up as her voice echoed in my head. No.. this can’t be.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

I don’t want her to be like this. Hindi ito ang gusto kong kabayaran niya sa ginawang pagkakamali noon.

“Grace,”

Naalala ko noong nag-aaral pa lang kami sa kolehiyo. All the better memories I've shared with her assaulted my mind like a thunderstorm. At nang nanganak ako. Siya ang kasama kong nag-alaga sa kambal ng sanggol pa lang ang mga ito. Si Xander, masasaktan si Xander kapag—

“Jesus, Sofia Grace! What's happening?”

Napapitlag ako sa gulat nang marinig ang bagamat buo, masuyong boses ni Chaz kasabay ng kaniyang paghaplos sa pisngi ko. Isang kurap pa’y tuluyang luminaw sa paningin ko si Chaz Theo. His face screams worry.

“Did you hurt yourself while cooking? Napaso ka, o nasugatan ang kamay mo ng kutsilyo?”

Sunod-sunod ang tanong nito, bakas ang pag-alala at kirot sa mga ito habang nakatitig sa akin. Chaz squatted in front of me. He held my hand and brush his forefinger on my skin, starirng at me warily.

“Saan ang masakit, hmm?”

I swallowed the lump on my throat. His soft voice.. it was like a trigger.

“C-Chaz si Veronica..” pabulong kong sabi.

Masikip ang dibdib ko at parang may mabigat na bagay ang nakadagan dito. His face darkened with the mention of the name. Umigting ang panga ni Chaz at gumuhit ang galit sa kulay berde nitong mga mata.

“Naaksidente siya, Chaz. Nasa hospital, malala ang kalagayan..” bawi ko.

Umawang ang labi niya. Napalitan ng gulat ang nakikitang dilim kanina lang.

“Mom just called, Chaz. Tita Nieves informed her about it. And she wants me to go there.. hinahanap daw ako ni Veronica bago mawalan ng malay.."

Kinapa ko ang sariling dibdib, nagbabakasaling mabawasan ang kirot na nararamdaman.

“What’s your take then?” he asked softly. “Will you go?“

I opened my mouth and was about to say something when a voice interrupted me.

“Mommy Veronica is what, Mama?“

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat at mabilis na nilingon ang bungad ng pinto. Nakatayo ang anak ko. Kuryusong nakatingin sa amin ng kaniyang ama.

“Uh..”

I felt like I was losing air in my lungs while staring at him. He’s a kid and hearing this will certainly break his heart. Dahil kahit ano pa man, naging parte si Veronica ng buhay ng mga anak ko. Especially, Xander.

“I heard you, Mama. You said Lola wants you to go to their place because Mommy Veronica was looking at you before she lost consciousness. Why, Mama? What happened to her?“

Sinulyapan ko si Chaz. He was looking at his son, but when he felt my stares, our gaze meet. Tumango siya na tila pinapaalam na nasa akin ang desisyon, kung sasabihin ko ba ang totoo o hindi.

“Ahm, what are you doing here, baby? Do you need anything?”

Binalik ko ang tingin sa anak na hindi nawala sa pwesto.

“I’m thirsty. Dad was taking too long to get the drink, so I went here instead.” Xander said calmly. “What is it, Mama? I want to know what happened to her,”

I closed my eyes tightly. I can feel myself breaking more thinking that my son will be hurt if I drop the bomb.

Masakit na ang malamang nasa bingit ng kamatayan ang pinsan ko, ngunit ang malamang ang sarili kong anak ay nasasaktan din.. my chest bleeds more.

As much as possible, I want them to live without worry. Without heartaches. They’re just kids and these shouldn’t be experienced by them.

But then again, this is something I shouldn’t keep from them. He deserve to know. Sooner or later, they will still discover the truth. At kahit anong gawin kong pag protekta para hindi sila.. lalo na siya na masaktan, hindi iyon maiiwasan.

“Tell me, Mama.” Xander said again with conviction.

I sighed heavily and open my eyes. I prepared myself and bravely dropped the bomb.

“She.. she was rushed into the hospital, anak. Naaksidente and right now.. she’s on the ICU. With a very low chance of survival.”

I was expecting a sorrowful reaction from him, but instead Xander just stared at me for a seconds, before nodding.

“Oh, I see…”

Umawang ang labi ko. Nagulat ako lalo pa nang ngumiti ang anak ko. Lumapit siya sa aming gawi at tiningala ang ama.

“Dad, can you please get me a glass of water? I need to go back to Celeste, I promised her we’ll finished the movie together. She might think I’ve escaped.“

Nagawa pa nitong humalakhak. Tumalima naman si Chaz habang si Xander ay nanatili sa harap ko.

“Do you want to visit her, baby?“ pabulong na tanong ko.

Xander cocked his head to my side.

“She asked for you, not me, Mama.”

I pressed my lips together. Bumalik si Chaz at binigay sa bata ang baso ng tubig.

“Okay then. We'll let this night pass, and then tomorrow we’ll fly to Florida.” mataman kong sabi.

Naubos niya ang tubig at binalik kay Chaz. Ginulo ni Chaz ang buhok ng anak bago ito tumalikod at nilagay ang baso sa sink.

“If that’s what you want, Mama. Excuse me po, I’ll go back to the sala.” huling sabi niya bago ito tumalikod at naglakad palabas ng kusina.

Bumuntonghininga ako habang pinagmamasdan ang likod niya.

“I’ll book our tickets.” Si Chaz.

Kunot noo kong tiningala ang lalaki.

“Ours? Bakit kasama ka ba?“

“By the sound of it, it means you have no plans of including me and just left me here for how many days? Or maybe weeks, huh.“

“Hindi kami maabutan ng linggo roon, Chaz kaya mabuti dumito ka lang. Attend your work and we’ll be fine there.” apila ko.

“Of course it will take you weeks. Funerals usually last—”

“What funeral are you talking about? Buhay pa ang tao, lamay na agad ‘yang iniisip mo!"

Chaz pursed his lips, while I was throwing him daggers.

“Grace, the chance of survival is very thin, that according to you. Unless, your aunt don’t want to have a wake and immediately burry your cousin.”

Suminghap ako. Napatayo at gigil na hinarap ang lalaki. I can’t believe it. Lamay at libing na ang nasa utak ng isang ‘to gayong nasa hospital pa ang pinsan ko at lumalaban!

“Still a chance and there’s a possibility she will get through this. Miracle do happen, and do you forgot what I went through? Nahulog sa bangin, na comatose ng ilang buwan without a higher chance of survival but look at me now! Chaz, I was able to survive. Hindi dapat tayo agad-agad nawawalan ng pag-asa dahil lang sa maliit ang pag-asang gumaling ang isang tao."

Sunod-sunod ang talak ko na sa tingin ko’y pati ang aking mukha ay namula sa determinasyon at iritasyon na rin para sa lalaking pinaghahandaan na ang burol ng pinsan ko.

“Well you two are different. Busilak ang puso mo—”

I groaned frustratedly.

“Oh my god, shut your nasty mouth! I don’t want to hear that. Hindi mamatay ang pinsan ko at makakaligtas siya!"

Sa halip na masindak, tumaas lang ang sulok ng labi ni Chaz. Staring at me with amusement, he even chuckled!

“I’m supposed to be terrified, but right now I’m flattered. Lalo kang gumaganda kung ganiyang nagagalit ka, Grace.” he poked the inside of his cheeks, looking so entertained. “You’re exquisitely stunning with flushed face. They way your brows met at the middle, red ears.. jesus, I could stare at you for ages.”

Namula ang mukha ko lalo. Pakiramdam ko’y tumaas ang temperature ng katawan ko. Inirapan ko siya para itago ang pamumula ng sariling mukha at muling linapitan ang niluluto.

“Try harder, Chaz Theo. Hindi mo ako madadala sa laos mong mga banat.“ I said as I open the stove. “Lumabas ka rito at balikan ang mga anak mo. Don’t distrub my work."

I heard his low and baritone laughs while exiting the kitchen. That flirt!

Napailing na lang ako bago binalikan ang ginagawa. I was mixing the pork when again, my phone rang. Binaba ko sandali ang sandok saka hinagilap ang cellphone na nasa lamesa. Sinagot ko sa kabilang kamay habang ang isa ay ipinagpatuloy ang ginagawa.

“Yes, Mom we’ll go—"

I stopped when I heard Mom's heavy breathing. Wala pa man siyang sinasabi'y malakas nang kumakabog ang dibdib ko sa kaba.

“She didn’t make it, darling. Your cousin’s dead,” the sadness on my Mom’s voice made me limbs weak.

Death..

Death is inevitable. It is something we cannot control. Lahat tayo makakaranas ng kamatayan sa ating nakatakdang panahon. We don’t get to live this life eternally. May hangganan ang buhay na tinatamasa natin ngayon. Ngunit ang marinig na may isa na namang kamag-anak ang nawala, na isang malapit na tao sa amin ang kinuha...

"Remember baby, it's okay to be weak. You can cry. You can vent out all of your frustrations to us. We're here, anak. You are not alone. We won't leave you.." I said repeatedly to Xander.

Kung gaano kasaya naming pinagdiriwang ang pasko, ganoon naman kasalimoot ang sumalubong ng aming bagong taon. Today is the fifth day of January, and here we are, facing the cold and lifeless body of Veronica.

Si Tita Nieves ay hindi makausap ng maayos. Si Lily at iba naming kamag-anak ang nag-aasikaso ng burol niya. Gustuhin ko mang tumulong ay inaalala ko rin ang anak kong lalaki.

"Mama is here, baby. Allow me to share your burdens. Nalulungkot din ako pero ang makita kang ganito, tahimik at walang kibo ay mas nagpapahirap sa akin.. sa amin. Please baby, it's fine to shed tears. Huwag mong pigilan. It will hurt more, believe me.."

I caressed Xander's face tenderly. Ngayon ang araw ng libing ni Veronica.
Ever since we arrived here in Florida, not once did I see my son's mourn. Dapat ikagagalak ko iyon dahil hindi siya umiiyak pero hindi. Mas nababahala ako na ganito siya.. tahimik at magsasalita lang kung kakausapin mo mismo. On normal days, this wouldn't bother me because Xander's like this. But today is different.

"Xandy, we're here fo you. Mommy, Daddy and Celeste won't go far, far away. I love you so much, and I will never leave you! Come one, smile ka na! I'll be sad if you don't." Eira said, beaming.

It was never easy. Mahirap tanggapin na ang taong minsan mong nakasama, ang taong nag-alaga sa'yo, ang kinamulatan mong ina ay tuluyan nang nawala. There might be conflict between me and Veronica but I can't deny the fact that she's been a good mother figure to my son. Otherwise, Xander will not be affected like this.

Like what I normally does, I made sure Xander will not feel like he's incomplete. He might loss Veronica, but he didn't loss us. Narito pa kami. Marami kaming nagmamahal sa kaniya at iyon ang paulit-ulit kong pinapaintdi sa kaniya.

Sofie;

If this reached you, that means I’m one of the stars. Oh silly me. I don't normally like this cliche letter, hence at this point of my life.. I know I had to.
I couldn’t say this to you personally ‘cuz I’m a coward who only knows how to bitch around. I’m only good at flirting with your husband and tries to win his heart when in fact, it is chained that even I, failed to infiltrate. Haha! I've got five unsuccessful attempt of seducing him, really. And I praised him for being such a devoted man even when you're not by his side, he sees no one but you.

But kidding aside, I want to apologize. Even just in this letter, I’d express my apology. This is way too late. Years late. Reasons.. no reasons will amount to the damage I’ve caused. Your theories were right.. your accusations but I was blinded with my anger and my ego. I can't accept the fact that I lost. It was never a competition, anyway.

Sofie, know that I am so sorry. I love you cuz, no jokes. It just happened that we love the same guy. I wanted him solely for me, but who am I kidding? I am not named Sofia Grace for him to like me back. I understand if you can't forgive me. I deserve that.

And Xandy.. please tell my baby I love him so much. I missed his laughs.. I missed playing with him. Everything about Xandy. Of all of the things I did, having him was the best. It's sad I won't be able to be with him for a long time. I wanna watch my baby grow into a fine boy. I want to be there when he introduce his girlfriend.. I want to witness his weeding ceremony.. and I will still do that from where I am. I might not be physically present but know that I will watch him from above.

And oh hi there, little bratty Celeste. Our princess, our naughty and fierce little one. Your Mommy Veronica loves you dearly, Celeste. And pleae, even just in this letter, let me be delusional and don't shut me out. How I wish to hear you call me, Mommy but then.. like your father, that is something I cannot forced. A bitter reality that I am not really your mother. 

All in all, I love you three so fucking much, from the bottom of my heart.  Until we see each other again, my little family.

Sincerely,
Mommy V

"You're reading that again,"

I sighed heavily. Tinupi ko ang liham saka binalik sa sobre. I heard the closing of the sliding door on my back while I leaned myself on the railing of the balcony.

"I thought you already left," I said without looking at him.

My eyes fixated on the skycraper. The lights from towering buildings looked so fantastic.. it calms me.

"Nakalimutan ko ang cellphone ko. Naiwan ko sa sala then I saw you here."

Chaz leaned in the railings too. Patagilid, nasa akin ang paningin.

"Today is the second death anniversary of Veronica," I stated calmly.

"Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses ko na bang binasa ang liham na iniwan niya para sa akin. Maraming beses pero parang panaginip pa rin, Chaz Theo."

I smiled bitterly.

"Kung hinayaan ko bang ang batas ang humatol sa kasalanan niya, hanggang ngayon buhay pa siya? Xander will see her again. Masasaksihan pa niya ang paglaki ng mga bata.. sana man lang, nakita niya kung gaano kakisig at kamabuting tao ang paslit na inalagaan at minahal niya."

I glanced up, gazing at the sky full of stars.

"Veronica.. she's a nice person. Nabulag lang siya sa pagmamahal sa'yo pero mabuti siyang tao. Xander will not be fond of her if she isn't."

Nilingon ko si Chaz. Naninimbang ang kulay berde niyang mga mata. The cold air blew his hair. My eyes narrowed at his aristocratic nose. Perfectly angled jawline.. and that thin lips.

"It's been three years, Chaz. Aren't you tired?" wala sa sarili kong sabi.

Tatlong taon. Tatlong na ang nakalipas pero heto pa rin siya.. katulad ng mga nakaraang gabi, sinisigurong nasa maayos ang kalagayan namin bago umuwi sa sarili nitong pamamahay.

Kahit ang mabigat na ulan ay hindi pumipigil sa kaniya. One major like from him is that he respect my space. Not once did he attempted to stay the night here. Kahit ang mga anak na mismo ang nag uudyok na dito tumulog lalo pa kung masama ang panahon, pero siya mismo ang hindi pumapayag. I don't know how he managed to do that. And the distance is not a joke.

"I was never tired, Grace. Ang isang katulad mo ay hindi nakakapagod hintayin.." he said with utmost sincerity.

"Tatlong taon na pala 'no? Parang tatlong araw lang. Kaya sige lang.. kahit sampung taon pa. Handa akong maghintay.."

I chuckled.

"You'd be too old by then.." natatawa kong sabi.

"Doon din naman tayo patutungo. Beside, I don't mind getting old as long as you're with me. Kayo ng mga anak natin.." he chuckled.

"I don't count the years, Grace. I make the best of it. The fact that you allowed me to be this close, that's already a sense of victory."

"Oh that means, we should stay like this forever. Friends, hmm?" I tilted my head, arching him a brow.

I saw him swallowed hard.

"I can wait more. I'm not in a rush." he gaze in front and then back to me. "Isa pa, paano iyong regalong sinasabi ko sa'yo noon? If I can't have your yes, then my present will be impossi—"

"Yes.." I said, halting him.

Chaz eye's widened a fraction. His lips parted and the look on his face was so epic! I mentally laughed.

"I'm so curious about that gift of yours! Noong nakaraang taon pa 'yan. Now, show me. I already said yes,"

Chaz Theo blinked his eyes rapidly. Bukas sara ang bibig nito at tila hindi mahanap ang tamang salita. After some time, he put both of his hands on his waist, blowing a loud breath.

"Ikaw, Grace huh! Huwag mo akong binibiro ng ganyan. I take joke seriously, magsisisi ka." aniya, pinandilatan pa ako ng mga mata.

Natawa ako sanhi ng kaniyang pagsimangot.

"No, I'm serious okay? Sinasagot na kita,"

"You're only saying that to know my mysterious present." tila nagtatampong saad nito.

"Silly, kung iyon lang ang rason 'di dapat noon pa kita sinagot? Dalawang taon na ang nakakalipas simula nang sabihin mo 'yan. And excuse me, I'm not that swallow."

I closed the distance between us, bravely encircling my hands unto his waist. I felt him stiffened. Naka pamaywang pa rin siya habang nakapalibot ang mga braso ko sa baywang niya.

"Subukan ulit natin, Chaz Theo.." malambing kong sabi.