Way

“Sandali, Chaz!”

I ran after him when he started walking away. Sa taas siya dumiretso at wala akong ibang pinagpilian kung ‘di  ang sumunod.

He went straight to his room without answering me. Dumoble ang lakad ko maabutan lang siya. Muntik pa akong hindi makaabot, mabuti na lang at agad kong naharang ang kamay sa pagsara ng pinto. Napangiwi ako sa biglang pagtama ng pinto sa daliri ko.

“There could be another way other than you being a father!”

Tuluyan akong pumasok sa silid niya. Naabutan ko siyang pumasok sa kaniyang walk-in closet.

Napabuga ako nang marahas na hininga habang minamasahe ang sariling daliri. Ang sakit ng tama sa balat ko. When I checked my fingers, gano’n na lang ang panlulumo ko ng agad na namula ang mga ito. Pinagsawalang bahala ko iyon at tumingin na lamang sa paligid.

Ito ang unang beses na nakatapak ako sa loob ng kwarto niya. Katulad ng inaasahan ko, malinis iyon at organisado. Lalaking-lalaki ang dating. Sa kabila ng katotohanang kasama namin si Manang Remmy, we remained on a separate rooms. Manang is aware that we just met, and we should take things slow.

Tiptoeing, I walked to his nightstand. May dalawang photo frame ang naroon. I intently surveyed the photographs. The first one, and the bigger was Chaz with his family. He looked young, probably on his teen. Malawak na nakangiti si Chaz sa litrato. At one glace, you can already feel his genuine happiness. 

Kinuha ko iyon at tinitigang mabuti. Mommy Salvacion is dazzling with her white dress and a black trench coat. Ang bata pa niyang tignan dito, maging si Daddy Rodolfo. Their background were the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

I smiled before putting it back to its place. Sunod kong tiningnan ay ang pangalawang litrato. Nabura ang ngiti ko nang matitigan kung sino iyon. He’s with Harry. This time, it is somewhere in Maldives, I know since I’ve been there when I was still studying.. during my vacation.

"We have Republic Act No. 8293 for a reason, "

I jumped in horror when Chaz voice echoed. Hindi sinasadyang dumulas ang hawak kong picture frame sa kamay. Umalingawngaw ang tunog ng pagkabasag ng salamin sa oras na tumama ito sa sahig. My eyes widened. Panic rose up in my chest as I watch the broken frame.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry! Hindi ko sinasadya!”

Taranta akong lumuhod sa sahig. In the state of panic, I gather the pieces of the glass, in hopes to fixed the frame. Naramdaman kong may tumusok sa balat ko pero hindi ko iyon pinagtuunan ng pansin. Sinubukan kong ibalik sa pagkakaayos ang mga piraso ng salamin kahit pa alam kong na pa ka-imposible nang may marahas na kamay ang humawak sa braso ko.

“What the hell are you doing?!" his stern voice echoed.

Kinagat ko nang mariin ang pang-ibabang labi. Hindi ko siya magawang tingnan ng diretso.

“C-Chaz, I promise I.. I d-didn’t mean it. D-Dumulas lang siya sa kamay ko! Wala naman akong planong, basagin iyon!”

“Dumulas? Then kung hindi mo sana pinakialaman ang gamit ko, walang dudulas sa kamay mo!” his voice thundered.

Napapikit ako sa sigaw niya. Nanatili ang kamay niya sa braso ko.

“I.. I’m sorry. I’ll just replace it.” my voice broke.

Pinaglaruan ko ang sariling mga daliri. May napansin akong kakaiba roon, ngunit wala akong panahon para punain iyon. This is my way of distracting myself when I’m hurt.

“Tumingin ka sa’kin.” mariing utos niya.

Umiling ako. Halos dumugo na ang labi ko sa kakagat.

“Miss Perez, look at me.” he once again commanded.

Tanging pag-iling ang binigay ko sa kaniya bilang sagot. Ayaw kong makita ang galit niyang anyo. There is something in it that cowards me.

I heard him sigh. I flinched when he reached for my hands and caressed my fingers.

“Wife,” he whispered. Mahina na iyon.. at tila nanunuyo. “May sugat ka,” Chaz trace my forefinger and that’s when I notice that it is bleeding.

“Look at me wife, please..”

Sa pagkakataong ito, para akong nahipnotismo sa boses niya at natagpuan ko na lamang ang sarili na sinusunod ang utos niya.

“Hindi ko sinasadya, Chaz. Hindi..” I said as I shook my head.

“Alright. Come here, let’s treat your wounds.”

Hinila niya ako hanggang sa maupo ako sa paanan ng kama niya.

“I’ll get the first aid kit.” aniya pa saka tinungo ang pinto.

Napatango ako. Bumaling ko sa sahig kung nasaan ang litrato nila. It stayed on the floor, with a broken part of the glass but still keeps the frame intact. Nanlumo ako. Mas magagalit sa akin si Harry sa oras na malaman niyang ako ang may kagagawan no’n.

I averted my gaze away from it and chose to stare at my hands. Chaz is right, it's bleeding. Iyon siguro ang napansin kong kakaiba kanina. The red marks from earlier aren’t fading as well.

Nasa ganoon akong posisyon ng dumating si Chaz, dala-dala na ang first aid kit. He squatted in front of me.

“Let me do that. Kaya ko naman ‘to.”

I was about to steal the cotton from his hold, but stop when our eyes locked. It is domineering, and squeals authority.

“Kaya ko rin ‘to.”

I let him do whatever he wanted to do with my fingers.

“Uh.. pasensiya na talaga. Hindi ko sina—”

“Sinasadya, I know. Quit mentioning that word. I’m sick with it.”

Napanguso ako. “Magagalit si.. Harry,”

“Hindi siya magagalit kung ‘di mo ipapaalam.” supladong sagot niya.

“Pero makikita rin nama—” I stopped and winced.

He looked at me, this time his gaze was soft.

“Does it hurt?”

I nodded like a tamed puppy. “When you put pressure on the cotton.”

“You know broken glasses are harmful, don’t even think of putting it to its original form. It’s like you’re wishing for the dinosaurs to exist.”

“Alam ko..” mahinang bulong ko.

I know that very well but I was in state of panic earlier. Nataranta at takot sa magiging reaksyon niya.

“Good that you’re aware.”

He secured the cuts with the band aid. When done, he stood on his knees.
Napatayo na rin ako.

“S-Salamat,” sinipat ko ang mga daliri.

The cuts were now covered, and it also stopped from bleeding.

“Let’s get out of here.” Chaz wet his lower lip and drifted his eyes from me.

“Liligpitin ko lang iyong nabasag.”

His face hardened.  “Out Miss Perez. Si ‘Nay Remmy na ang bahala riyan.”

Nanghihina akong tumango. Bumalik na naman siya sa pagiging seryoso.
Dala ang mga gamot, linisan namin ang kwarto niya.

“Chaz, gusto ko sanang pag-usapan ang sinabi mo kanina. What do you mean by child? Gusto ni Mommy na magkaroon ka muna ng anak bago siya magpagamot?” I asked again.

“Kung hindi pa malinaw sa’yo, yes. She wants to have a grandchild.”

My lips parted. “Why? Uh.. why does it have to be under that condition? Hindi biro ang panganganak, Chaz!”

“You don’t have to worry about a thing, woman. I won’t touch you. Rest assured that you will not be carrying my child.”

Napahinga ko nang maluwag sa narinig. Pumasok siya sa isang pinto, sumunod ako. Mabilis kong pinalibot ang tingin sa paligid, opisina niya iyon.

“So what will you do? May ibang plano ka naman diba? Para makumbensi si Mommy na magpagamot..”

Chaz leaned on his swivel chair, legs crossed.

“Hindi mo naman siguro.. hahayaan lang si Mommy."

“Do you think I am that kind of person who’ll watch my own mother suffer?” he asked, lips pressed against each other.

I shook my head aggressively. He’s not that kind of person, I’m sure. Mahal niya ang pamilya niya, kaya nga ako nasa ganitong sitwasyon dahil gusto  ni Mommy Salvacion na makitang kinasal siya.

“Hindi sa gano’n. I know you treasure your family the same way I am with my love ones. Sigurado akong may iba kang plano.”

Pinagsalikop ko ang dalawang palad sa likuran. My eyes lowered at the table between us. It has a laptop, some papers, clipboard, and beside his office table is a file box.

“I’ll find someone who’s willing to give me a child.”

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagtingin sa mga gamit na nasa lamesa niya at hindi ko tuluyang na proseso ang sinabi niya.

“That’s great. Someone who will give you—what the hell?!”

I close my eyes with the words that slipped on my mouth. I mentally scolded myself for saying such phrase. I remember cursing the other day, and it was because of him! Ayaw kong nagmumura pero dahil sa magaling kong asawa...

“Nag-iisip ka ba? There are ways other than that alternative! Kung iyon ang naisip mong plano, then give it up! Baka imbes na magpagamot si Mommy ay mas lumala ang kaniyang karamdaman.”

Chaz lips twitch. “She won’t mind. Ang mahalaga ay may ipakita ako sa kaniyang anak.”

“You’re going to ruin the woman’s life. Don’t decide impulsively.” I said, gritting my teeth.

“It’s not on impulse. Sisiguraduhin ko namang makikinabang din siya. Money makes everything works.”

Umawang ang labi ko. I closed it again and glared at him.

“Ano na lang ang mararamdaman ng babaeng bubuntisin mo? You’re married to me, and the fact that you are still with.. Harry...”

I got goosebumps just with the thought of it.

”I don’t see the need to explain this matter to you. You can leave now.“ aniya, nagtataboy.

Napasintido ako. “You’re crazy, Chaz! Matalino ka naman, mag-isip ka ng ibang paraan para masolusyunan ang problemang ‘to. Huwag kang mandamay ng ibang tao!”

Tumitig lang siya sa akin bago kalmadong binuksan ang laptop.

“Get out, woman. I have tons of work to do.” he said, dismissively. 

Iminuwestra niya ang pinto na tila sinasabing lumabas na nga ako. There’s no trace of humor on his face.

My jaw locked. Irritated and disappointed. Nangingibabaw ang inis na nararamdaman ko sa kaniya. Umaasa akong may maganda siyang binabalak nang sa gano’n ay mahikayat niyang mag pa chemotherapy si Mommy, pero wala pala. His idea is absurd!

“This madness will backfire to you, Mr. Fuentes. When that time comes, I’ll be the first woman to laugh at your misery.”

Matalim ko siyang tiningnan bago tuluyang lumabas sa silid na iyon. My day was ruined. How great of person he is!

Pumasok ako sa sariling kwarto at mabilis na hinagilap ang clutch. Paglabas ay nakasalubong ko pa si Manang Remmy sa pasilyo, may dalang dustpan at walis.

“Thank you Manang for cleaning the mess.” I said calmly.

“Trabaho ko ‘to, hija. Wala kang dapat ipagpasalamat,” she smiled.

I sighed and nodded.

“Oh, may lakad ka?”

We walked side by side.

“Magpapahangin lang po,”

I need to take a fresh air. I have to think of a better idea to solve this. I couldn’t rely on Chaz.

“Isama mo na si Bernardo para ihatid ka sa kung saan mo gusto ko.”

I shook my head. “I’ll drive my own car, Manang. Hindi naman po ako magtatagal.”

Bumuntonghinga siya. “Oh siya sige. Mag-iingat ka.”

I smiled to assure her, I will. Nang marating ko ang garahe, namataan ko si Manong Bernardo na naglilinis ng kotse. He was too engrossed that he didn’t notice my presence.

Using my car, I drove to the Dio’s Tower where my brother, Zayd is. I’ll stay on his unit to kill the time. He’s alone. And his condo is the closest place to collect my thoughts. After twenty minutes, I reached the ground floor of the Tower.

Lumabas ako ng kotse matapos i-park ang sasakyan. I then take the elevator that will bring me to the right floor. Nasa pinakatutok ang unit niya at kinailangan ko pang maghintay ng ilang minuto bago tuluyang marating ito.

I sighed heavily before pressing the doorbell. Sa pangalawang subok bumukas ang pinto. Bumungad sa akin si Zayd. Gusot ang buhok, walang suot na damit at tanging taslin short and suot.

“Sorry, did I disturb your sleep?”

Linagpasan ko siya saka ko narinig ang pagsara muli ng pinto.

“Obviously. Ang aga pa para manbulabog ate.”

“Check the time little brother, matatanghali na.” Pasalampak akong naupo sa sofa niya.

“Tss, what do you need? Hindi ka naman pumupunta rito kung dahil lang sa wala.”

I chuckled and close my eyes.

“Don’t be silly. I came cuz I miss you.”

Zayd groaned. “Do whatever you want. Babalik ako sa pagtulog.”

I hummed in response. My eyes is closed, thinking for strategies settle this conflict.

Mommy Salvacion has everything. They are wealthy enough to paid for her treatment. Isang sabi lang nila ay agad na dadalo ang mga batikang doctor para gawin ang trabaho.

However, the conflict goes here..

Mommy doesn’t want to undergo the said medication. Kung tama ang sinabi ni Chaz na mag papagamot lang siya kung magkakaroon na nang anak ang nag-iisang apo..

I groaned and massage my temple. How can I convince her when she already made up her mind about the kid that she wants!

But still.. I’ll give it a try and talk to her later.

Nagmulat ako ng  mata saka napatitig sa chandelier. I would never agree to Chaz way of dealing this. Hindi ako papayag na may inosenteng babae ang idadamay niya! He should be contented with his paramour. Huwag na siyang mandamay ng iba!

Clearly, he’s not thinking. The public knows we’re married and him impregnating another woman? I laughed with that thought. He’s becoming so full of himself. Fine, Chaz has the looks and the body, but it won’t justify his infidelity!

“Tumatawa ka na ngayon ng mag-isa. How weird of you.”

Nabura ang ngisi sa labi ko nang marinig ang boses ni Zayd. Umayos ako ng upo at nakita siyang papalapit. Trying to put on a shirt.

“Something worthy of my laugh crossed my mind. ‘Di ba matutulog ka ulit?”

“Sinira mo na ang tulog ko. Mamaya na lang ulit, ‘pag umalis ka na.” sabi niya at nagpunta siya sa kitchen counter.

“I want a coffee with no sugar, thanks!”

“I’m not your maid. Kung gusto mong mag kape, mag timpla ka!” sigaw niya.

Natawa ako. “Words, Zayd. Watch your words.” I grab the pillow and hugged it close to my chest “Is that how you’ll treat your girlfriend in the future?”

“You’re my sister, not my girlfriend.” he counter back.

“The more that you need to obey me!”

Wala akong narinig na sagot sa kaniya na nagpatawa sa akin ng bahagya. Minsan ko lang makasama ang kapatid ko, and I honestly missed him.

When Zayd return with two cups, I grinned. “Thank you, little bother.” I
said, teasing him.

Umismid siya. He was about to left again when I hold his hand.

“Upo. May itatanong ko.”

His brow furrowed. “Magkakape ako,”

“Of course little brother. Magkakape tayo.”

Nginuso ko ang kaharap na upuan. Bumuntonghininga siya bago tuluyang umupo.

“So how’s life?”

Sumimsim ako sa kapeng tinimpla niya habang naghihintay ng sagot.

“Life pa rin,” he sarcastically answered.

I rolled my eyes. “Finish your study first, Zayd. Kapag tapos ka na sa kursong pinili mo at my diploma na, only then you are free to do everything. No restrictions. As long as you’re happy. Matanda ka naman na, alam mo na kung ano ang tama at mali.”

He scoffed. “I know, I know. Para ka namang si Mommy kung mangaral!”

“Because education is important. Our parents have the money, yes. Kahit pa hindi ka na mag-aral ay hindi ka pa rin mamumulubi. But keep in mind, that in time money will fade. Mauubos iyon, mawawala pero ang edukasyon? The fact that you’re  graduate will forever be engraved in our hearts and mind.” I smiled at him. “Iyan ang pamanang kailanman ay hindi mawawala at mananakaw.”

“You’re acting really weird, ate. Umuwi ka nga! Hindi ka ba hinahanap ng asawa mo?”

Pinandilatan ko siya ng mata. “Umiwas sa gulo lagi. Ayaw kong magkaharap tayo sa presinto bilang magtatanggol sa’yo. Aba kung mangyari ‘yon, baka ako pa mismo ang maglagay sa’yo sa kulungan.”

Zayd laughed. “Sa poging kong ‘to? May mag dedemanda? Hard to believe."

Hinayan ko munang maubos niya ang kapeng iniinom bago tuluyang tinanong sa bagay na bumabagabag sa akin.

“Here’s the question, Zayd. Listen carefully, okay?” I clasped my hands together.

“Sige nang umuwi ka na,” Zayd combed his hair before nodding.

Huminga ako nang malalim at hindi pinansin ang sagot niya.

“Variable x is facing a life and death situation. He’s torn between helping variable y, or just let y suffer.” I stated, looking intently at my brother. “But A, who happened to receive the weight of consequences will make x in a difficult situation. Hence, x really wanted to help, but the ways of y is just too impossible for x to imagine. What do you think is the suited solution of x to chose to settle the issue?”

Nakangiti kong hinintay ang sagot niya. Maybe that way, maliliwanagan na ako sa dapat gawin. I can’t tell him directly that it is actually me who’s involved.

Zayd smiled. He leaned in the coffee table, elbow resting on his knees, hands intertwined with each other.

“Alam mo ate,” nangingiting pahayag niya.

“No, not yet little brother. Sabihin mo at nang malaman ko.” I beamed.

“X, and y ah?” he asked.

Nakangiti akong tumango.

“Sabado ngayon diba?”

My smile faded with his sudden question. “Uh.. yes today is Saturday. So what do you think?” I asked again, switching the topic to the original.

He touched his chin, as if thinking.

“So, little brother?”

He lifted his eyes. "I think, mas the best kung..” he paused, making my anticipation grows.

“Kung?”

“Kung uuwi ka ngayon at sa asawa mo ipaliwanag ‘yang pinagdadaan ng x at y! For the love of god, today is my free day from my stressful lesson. And you're here, asking for that x and y!”

“Zayd!” I grunted.

My brother grinned. “Wala nga akong naintindihan sa sinabi mo, eh! Subukan mong itanong kay kuya Drake, matalino ‘yon paniguradong bibigyan ka ng matinong sagot!”

Napasimangot ako.

“Oh, sorry break na pala kayo.” he doesn’t look apologetic at all.

I rolled my eyes and stood up.

“Huwag ka sanang sagutin ng babaeng liligawan mo. Ang sama mong kapatid!”

Zayd laugh. “Ako nga ang nililigawan, eh.”

I left his unit after that conversation. Ang dami nang kalokohan ang nalalaman ng kapatid ko! Ibang-iba sa cute at masunurin kong bunso!

I then went to Chaz’s parents mansion, for probability. Nang marating ko ang magarang gate ng mansyon nila, nanatili ako sa loob ng kotse ng ilang sandali. Gazing at the massive and extravagant entrance of the mansion, I reached my phone for a call. Tatawag muna ako kay Mommy na bibisita. Akma ko nang pipindutin ang tawag pero kalaunan, tumigil ako.

I groaned frustratedly.

Paano kung hilingin din niya sa akin, ang hiniling kay Chaz? Mahihirapan ako kung mula mismo sa bibig niya manggaling ang bagay na iyon.

Napasapo ako sa noo. I wanted to help, badly. Sa ilang panahon na nakasama ko si Mommy Salvacion, napalapit na ang loob ko sa kaniya. It was also hard seeing her endured her sickness. Gusto kong mawala na ito ng tuluyan. Gusto ko siyang mamumuhay na walang pagbabanta. I want to see her smile, the one I saw earlier, on Chaz bedroom.

I exhaled a large amount of breath. I gave up on attempting to visit her and  drove into my condo unit instead. It didn’t take me long when I arrived at my humble abode. The place was the same, and a feeling of nostalgia hit me the moment I entered my unit. It’s been so long since I came here and I missed every corner of this place.

I directly went to my room, and laid on my bed. Ang balak kong pagpahinga ng isang oras ay hindi nangyari. I completely dozed off to sleep right after I closed my eyes. If not because of the continuous ring of from telephone, I would probably be sleeping at the moment.

“H-Hello?” I answered.

Nakapikit pa rin ang mga mata ko, dahil sa totoo lang gusto ko pang matulog. Parang ngayon lang ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataong magpahinga.

“Where the fuck are you, Miss Perez?!" sigaw ng kung sino man ang nasa kabilang linya.

“Sino 'to?" My brows creased. "Ikaw ba 'yan Chaz?" I added in a whisper.

Siya lang naman ang tumatawag sa aking Miss Perez. Kahit ang totoo’y hindi na ako, Perez.

“Where are you?” muling tanong niya.
“Ang sabi mo kay Nanay magpapahangin ka lang. May nagpapahangin bang umabot ng anim na oras? Nasayang ang oras ko kakahanap sa’yo!” he shouted once again.

Tuluyang nagising ang diwa ko. Tumihaya ako ng higa saka sinilip ang pangalan ng tumatawag. Siya nga iyon.

“Did I tell you to look for me?”

His heavy breathing was palpable. “Go home now, woman. Don’t try to argue with me.”

I gritted my teeth. “Hindi ako uuwi. Mag-isip ka  na lang ng magandang alibi para pagtakpan ako.”

He grunted. “You know my rules, Miss Perez. Huwag mo akong simulan.”

Nakarinig ako ng kaluskos na nasundan ng tila malakas na pagsara ng pinto.

“I want to take a breath, Chaz. Habang nakikita kita, mas hindi ako makakapagpahinga! Lagi mong sinasabi na pinapasakit ko ang ulo mo? Well guess what, it’s you who’s making my head aches really bad!”

“Between the two of us, sino ngayon ang nagmamatigas? Kalmado akong humihingi ng pabor sa’yong umuwi—"

I chuckled dryly. “You cursed me. Iyan ba ang pinagmamalaki mong pagiging kalmado?”

“I don’t remember cursing you, woman. Now lets end this discussion, and I’ll be expecting your presence here in not less than fifteen minutes.” he commanded, bossy as he always is.

“Fuck you!”

Tumayo ako saka lumapit sa wardrobe. If it is possible to hear his gasped, I think I heard it correctly.

“Seriously, Miss Perez?!” I can already imagine his cross brows and stiff expression.

A smile formed in my lips. “Oh my bad. The you isn’t included pala. Inuulit ko lang ang sinabi mo kanina.”

“Since when did you learn how to curse?”

Natawa ako. “I’ve learned it from you. Anyway, stop being demanding. Kahit anong sabihin mo, hindi ako uuwi ngayon. Give this night to me. I need a peace of mind.”

Pinatay ko na agad ang tawag at hindi na hinintay ang sagot niya. I grab my white long sleeves and changed with only my underwear beneath the cloth. Sa kusina ako dumiretso pagkatapos magpalit ng damit, umaasang may mga tira pa akong makakain. Bumagsak ang balikat ko ng wala akong makita.

I decided to watch a movie to pass the time. Alas-sais na ng gabi, hindi ko man lang namalayaan ang oras.
Sa gitna ng panoood, naisipan kong tawagan si Jenny. It’s not that I don’t have other friends other than her, but she’s the only person I could think of.

Natigilan ko nang makita ang ilang missed calls galing kay Chaz. May isang text din mula sa kaniya. If I remember it correctly, ito ang unang beses na nagpadala siya ng mensahe sa akin. He usually calls, and not a fan of text communication.

From: Old Man
Answer my call, woman.

Napanguso ako. Kahit sa simpleng text niya, batid pa rin ang pagiging masungit. I ignored it and looked for Jenny’s number. In just a few rings, she answered my call.

“Are you free tonight?” I asked, hugging my throw pillow while the movie is on going.

“I have a date with Franco, but I can cancel it for you.”

“No! Please don’t. This is not that urgent naman!”

All of the sudden, she laughed.

“Franco is just a fling. I meet him the night of the victory party. Sa inyong dalawa, mas pipiliin kita. Saan tayo?”

Napailing ako sa narinig. “Then in my place. Magdala ka na rin ng pagkain. Wala nang stock ang condo ko.”

“Okay, hintayin mo na lang ako.”

I sighed in relief. How grateful I am because of her.

“Take care.” I said.

Pagkatapos ng tawag, pinatay ko ang cellphone para walang isturbo. Hinintay ko ang pagdating niya habang nanood. The lights were off. Tanging ang tv lang ang bukas sa mga oras na ito. Twenty minutes later, Jenny arrived with not just foods, but also alcohol!

“Pagkain ang sinabi ko, Jenny. Hindi beer,”

I helped her arranged the foods in the center table.

“Panulak lang ‘yan. Mabuti nga at iyan lang ang binili ko.” she said before sitting on the floor.

I shook my head and devoured the food right away. Stress eating isn’t advisable but I couldn’t help it. Sa pagkain ko ibinuhos ang frustration na nararamdaman.

“Hindi mo ako tinawagan para lang dalhan ka ng pagkain. So what’s the tea? Come on, I’m all ears.” she said after finishing the foods she brought.

I looked at her innocently. “Gutom lang talaga ako. Wala akong lakas para lumabas pa.”

Mariin siyang nakipagtitigan sa akin bago bumuntonghininga. She grab the bottle of beers and give me one.

“Iinom mo na lang ‘yan,”

I accepted the bottle before adjusting on my seat. Pareho kaming nakaharap sa flatscreen tv na walang boses. We intentionally muted it. Both resting our back on the couch, butt’s on the ground and the center table is in front of us.

“Alam ba ni Mr. Fuentes na nandito ka?” tanong niya matapos ang mahabang katahimikan.

“Wala siyang alam na nandito ako.”

I sip on my glass that is filled with the beer simultaneously. I’m uncomfortable drinking on any bottles of alcohol. Hahanap talaga ako ng baso na pagsasalinan ng alak at doon iinom.

“Ah, naglayas ka. Away mag-asawa?” she asked again with teasing voice.

“I just need some space. Bukas na ako uuwi.”

Sa sulok ng aking mata nakita ko ang paglingon niya sa gawi ko.

“Aw, hindi pa nga kayo nagtatagal may away na agad. Hiwalayan mo kaya?”

I chuckled. “If only I could,”

“Nagbibiro lang ako. Mas mabuting pag-usapan niyo ‘yan ng masinsinan. Hindi naman sa lahat ng oras paghihiwalay ang laging solusyon.”

“It was your idea, not mine.”

Tumawa siya. “Mag kwento ka kasi nang malaman ko. Hindi naman ako magaling manghula pagdating sa’yo. Beside, I think Mr. Fuentes isn’t someone who’ll cheat on you. So it’s not because of unfaithfulness.”

I craned my neck to her side and saw her looking at the screen. Tinikom ko namg mariin ang labi at agad na nag-iwas ng tingin.

A part of me is feeling guilty. Pero gano’n naman siguro ang buhay. Hindi maiiwasang mag lihim tayo kahit sa taong malapait na malapit sa atin. There are matters that needs to be keep especially if it doesn’t concern anyone. Particularly, if it is that confidential.

“I am not in a serious relationship, you also know I’m not that good at giving advices. But two heads are better than one. Hayaan mong problemahin ko rin ang problema mo, Pia. Come on, tell it to me.” 

I sighed and sipped on my drink. “I don’t have the confidence yet. Maybe later, Jenny.”

“Hmm.. alcohol will boost your confidence, here.” she handed me another three bottles of drink and all I can do is laugh.

Parang ang tagal na rin simula ng uminom ako. A lot happened in my life lately. I’ll take this as my bonus. I concentrated on drinking the beer, cuz she says it will boost my confidence. Ewan ko, nakakaduwag sabihin ang problema ko. Mas nahihirapan pa nga ako rito kumpara sa mga hinawakan kong kaso.

Truth to be told, after more than an hour, I find myself narrating my burdens with her.

“Yes we’re married. He’s my husband and I’m his wife, but we both doesn’t want kids! Ayaw kong magkaanak sa kaniya, at ayaw niya ring magkaroon ng anak sa akin. The feeling is very mutual but..” I stopped and groaned.

“You dislike the idea of Chaz getting another woman, pregnant.” si Jenny ang nagpatuloy.

“N-No, no.. that’s not my point! Wala akong pakialam kahit ilang babae pa ang buntisin niya! I don’t care!” I defensively answered.

I’m feeling a little bit tipsy. Apat na bote na rin ang naubos ko, at pakiramdam ko’y anumang oras maduduwal ako.

“Eh, bakit ba ayaw niyong dalawa? And a-arte niyo ah, mag-asawa naman na kayo.” with my blurry vision, I saw Jenny chewing something. “Mag sex na lang kayo, tapos ang problema mo!”

Namilog ang mga mata ko. "Jenny, you’re too vulgar!”

Malakas siyang tumawa. “Matanda ka na, hindi ka bumabata Pia. Totoo namang mag-asawa na kayo, kahit pa sabihin mong wala kayong nararamdaman sa isa’t-isa.”

Umiling ako nang umiling na mas nagpalala ng pag-ikot ng mundo ko.

“You said Mrs. Fuentes wants to have a kid and in return she will undergo the said chemotherapy. Your husband has a plan, but you’re against it. But if you will offer yourself to him, at sabihing ikaw na lang ang buntisin niya..”

I gasped exaggeratedly and tried to cover my ears.

“Oh my god, Jenny. Stop talking nonsense! I said I don’t care whether he will get laid with any woman! That’s his problem!”

“Sure, Pia. Sure!” nangingiting sagot niya.

My breathing is uneven as I removed my hands on my ears.

“Pero hindi niya maaring gawin iyon! He’s married to me, it will be a disgrace kung...kung may bubuntisin siyang ibang babae para lang iligtas si M-Mommy sa bigit ng kamatayan!” talak ko.

“Then ikaw na lang ang magbigay sa kaniya ng anak.” Jenny uttered the same phrase again and winked at me.

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A/N: I base the act mentioned above in Google. Kung mali po iyon, feel free to reach me at nang maitama po. Hehe, thank you!