~Ayame POV~
"I'm bored Kyo." I sighed.

"You could spend this time to go over new recipes for the club." A glint covered his glasses.

"Aw, Kyoya-kun is so mean." I sulked. "Doesn't my happiness concern you 'Onee-san'?" I pouted.

"No, not really." He said, not even looking up.

I saw Haruhi grouchily slither to the door. I tilted my head. "Where's Haruhi going?"

"We needed more commoners coffee." Hikaru and Kaoru said in unison with a bored look on their face.

I jumped up, "I'm going with Haruhi~! Later losers." I hurried after the sulking girl, ignoring the yells, whines, and indifference to my comment.

"Haruuuuuuuuhi! Waaaaaait!"

Her petite form turned around and eyed me curiously.

"Why are you coming Ayame?"

"They are weird and boring." I shrugged. "And my brother wanted to dress me up 'cutely'. So I bolted."

"What is it with them and dressing up girls?"

"Well the Twins definitely act gay, Tamaki has a crush on someone so he can't be gay, and the rest...I'm not sure." I tapped my chin thoughtfully.

~{Å}~

Somehow our trip for instant coffee ended with us trapped in a woman's arms.

I shifted uncomfortably. I heard Tamaki talking through the door.

"That's a bit harsh. So what would you like me to tell you?"

She burst through our door to the Host Club.

"Good question. In my case, it would be 'I would never leave my lover alone. If we are to fight, it will be together. If we prevail not, we shall meet our fate together. Even though I perish, I will never leave your side." She kissed our hands.

"Where the hell is this music coming from?! And why are there sparkles, flowers, and pink everywhere?! Have you been hanging out with Tamaki?" I choked on some sparkles.

"Ah where did you find these girls?" Two other girls walked up.

"Just outside. This one may be dressed as a boy but I can see she has clear maidenly eyes! (A/N: More like bug eyes😂 seriously WTF?! Ō_Ō this is her natural eye length!) And this fair haired lady was with her. Such soft hair!" I shivered in disgust. Dear god they were nuzzling our skin and hair. Does this count as sexual harassment?

"Don't touch Haruhi and Ayame without permission!" Tamaki yelled and dove in.

One hit from the weirdo group sent him flying back.

"S-she hit me! That was violent!" He started sobbing.

"Tama-chan, buck up!" Honey said.

"Their even more feeble than we heard. Fledglings, cobbled together with frivolous idiots." Tall one said.

"From your uniforms I can tell you're from Lobelia Academy." Kyoya said, obviously not pleased to be called a 'frivolous idiot'.

"Indeed we are." And then they ripped off their clothes.

I blinked. "Okaaaaay. So they hid suits under their uniform. How did they do that."

"Looooobelia."

"Looooooobelia"

"Looooooobelia"

"St. Lobelia Academy, high school 2nd year, Amasuka Benio."

"Lobelia!"

"Also, 2nd year, Maihara Chizuru."

"Lobelia!"

"Also, 1st year, Tsuwabuki Hinako."

"Lobelia!"

"We are the..."

"ZUKA CLUB!" And they ripped off their clothes again. What this time? A jump-

I screamed, horrified. "MY EYEEEEEES!" I couldn't tell you what they are wearing!

Host Club:
"Uuuuuuh." Horrified.

Zuka Club:
"TAAAA-DAAAA"

Host Club:

"Uuuuuh" slowly comprehending.

Zuka Club:

"TAAAA-DAAAA"

Host Club:

"HAHAHAHA" Hikaru and Kaoru laughing their asses off, while brother dear is disintegrating.

Then Renge appeared, nearly vomited instant coffee, have a speech about Zuka Club history, and disappeared.

I walked up to the indifferent club who looked bored as Benio and the others ranted on about shit I don't care about. "My friend Alyssa is coming today from America. So help me if you embarrass me...I will rip off your hands and make them choke yourself and then cut out your tongue and eyeballs and feed them to you." I smiled brightly.

The club cowered except for Mori and Kyoya of course.

"Understand? Good!" I merrily skipped away.

"What the hell do you people feed her?!" I heard Kaoru exclaim.

"She eats fear." Tamaki cried before fainting.

"Demon." They whispered.

"Can we continue this another time?" Kyoya asked, eyes flashing warningly.

"Are you saying you can't take us on?" Benio asked defiantly.

"Not at all. Out leader is recovering from culture shock." He pointed at Tamaki who was in a bed.

"It's his nappy time."

"The Zuka Club is scaring me!" Honey cried.

"WAKE HIM UP" Benio yelled.

"I made coffee." Haruhi said coming out with tea cups. I made a face, I hate coffee.

"And hot chocolate for Ayame." She added and I sighed in relief.

"Haruhi is so nice!" I grinned and took my hot chocolate.

Tamaki followed after, running carelessly. I sidestepped and he tripped, his finger going into the coffee.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only one who burns their finger like that Onii-chan." I said blowing on my steaming hot chocolate.

"Jeez you're so clumsy senpai." Haruhi sighed and took out a roll of bandages, starting to carefully bandage his finger.

"Um thank you. Do you always carry first-aid tape around with you?"

"No they were giving it away with the instant coffee. The store always have giveaways."

"Giveaways?"

I sipped my drink, "Vous savez que vous l'aimez, non?" He blushed.

"Non! Chut, Ayame!" He denied with a weaker resolve than last time.

"Well at least you're getting better." I said in Japanese this time.

"These poor girls are being slaved!!!" The girl in the middle cried. (I can't remember weirdos names)

"Eh? Well I guess I am being slaved by Kyoya." I muttered and snuck a look Kyoya, his eyes were covered by the glare of the light on his glasses and his pen was touching the book.

"EEP!" I hid behind Haruhi.

"Now that I know what's going on I will immediately prepare the transfer paperwork to Lobelia Academy for these two girls!"

"There seems to be a misunderstanding. First of all you labeled senpai a halfer for some reason!" Haruhi said.

"Tama-chan and Aya-chan are halfers! A French and Japanese half-chan!" Honey exclaimed.

"Ah. But still, I'm not so sure about calling the Host Club fledgling, and picking on them on other pretexts as well." She scrambled.

"No, we are pretty new. We were only founded two years ago. His highness created if when he came to high school after all." The twins said in unison. I face palmed. This was going no where.

"Well, be as that may, if anything saying that their host activities are only held to satisfy their appetites is going to far. It's not as if they are charging their guests or anything" She said less energetically.

"I wouldn't call it charge but there is a point system here." Kyoya said not looking up from his computer. "We do offer priority service depending on the price of items won in net auctions on the clubs homepage."

"Ah, see here Haruhi? Your used mechanical pencil sold for a winning bid of 30,000¥ and Ayame's old hair clip sold for 60,000¥"

"Eh?!? I DON'T EVEN HOST!" I pushed him aside to see which hair clip. "Jackass! Alyssa gave me that one!" I scowled.

"And I thought I lost that mechanical pencil! This is the first we heard of it you know! We never knew we were taking money for this!"

"You think we were doing a volunteer service? Besides we only make a slight profit."

"DON'T SELL PEOPLE'S THINGS! IT'S THIEVERY!"

"It fell on the floor and Tamaki dropped the hair clip."

I glared at the panicked boy.

"Waaaaaah I'm sorry! Here you can have this teddy bear pencil and hair clip!"

"No."  We said together.

"You poor maidens. You should ditch them a join us!"

"These girls had quite a shock today. We will come for your answer tomorrow." Before they left spinning and laughing like drunkards.

"Ayame do you want to sleep over today." Haruhi asked in more of a statement.

"Hai. I'll wait outside." Sending a glare to Kyoya, who was taking pictures, I left the room.

----------------------------------------------------

I stared at the hosts in shock. Haruhi was rolling on the floor laughing.

They put...Kyoya in a dress. Slowly I lifted my camera and took a picture. Blackmail~! I sang inwardly, while smiling evilly.

"Call us big sister!" The twins appeared beside me, Honey on their tail.

"Oh look! Honey, the twins ate your cake!" I cried dramatically.

Immediately Honey's face went dark and the twins began denying strongly.

"You. Ate. My. Cake. Now I'm going to eat you." He began chasing them as I laughed evilly. I'm on a roll today!

I sat down at a table and watched, amused at my work of art.

The twins were screaming and running , Honey was roaring demonically and chasing them, Mori just followed Honey's example, Tamaki was hiding, and Haruhi was watching dumbfounded.

The table beside me pulled and Kyoya sat down.

"Hello Hime." I drawled. (A/N: Hime means princess)

He rolled his eyes but said nothing but handed me a wrapped cloth.

I eyed it suspiciously. Was he going to poison me or get me to prick my finger and kill me with some lethal thingy?

"Hurry up. I can't afford to kill our cook so don't worry." He rolled his eyes once again.

I opened it slowly and blinked. It was the hair clip that he told me they sold.

"Eh? But you said..."

"I know what I said. Just know it wasn't easy getting it back." He said calmly.

I grinned, "Thanks Kyo~!" And gave him a hug.

"Just keep up with your work Baka." He said looking at his Death Note, a tiny almost invisible smile etched on his face.

"I could recommend you to some products that will make sure that makeup doesn't give you pimples if you want." I said casually scratching at my nail.

"Ay-am-e."

"Well, Bye! Gotta go pick up my friend from the airport." I walked outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Third-Person POV~

A girl with long brown hair, brown eyes, and a puppy hoodie stepped off the plane. She looked around, painfully obviously a foreigner.

"Um, excuse me?" She called out in English.

"Do you know anyone named Ayame Grandite?" She called to anyone.

A few looked confused and others ignored her.

Suddenly curly blonde hair appeared, sticking out like a sore thumb in the crowd.

"Alyssa!" She waved.

"Hi Ayame."

"Sorry I got here late. Remember those idiots I told you about? They caused a ruckus. Again."

"Really? What this time?"

"I'll take you tomorrow. They'll explain. All I've got to say was that I was lusted by lesbians."