"Are you absolutely sure, Ayah?"

We were sitting in my chambers along with Aqib, Omar and Master Wali. Nala stood in the corner of the room alert if she was ever needed. The way all of them were staring at me, it felt that I was planning to go to war.

My brother stared at him wide-eyed with concern. He had dark circles under his eyes. He had not slept well the last two nights, once he had learned the story of the Monarch. He had taken it more personally than I had. He felt guilty of thinking ill towards a man who was suffering so much.

I nodded in response to his question and he sighed loudly as he leant back to his chair.

"As I told you, Ayah, Monarch Qamar is not as he was before. He is turning worse. His delusions are more real now. He cannot differentiate between what is real and what is not" Master Wali spoke as if he was a doctor listing out symptoms of a patient. His voice had no emotions and I wondered how he did that. How did control his emotions so much? I knew he was not indifferent to this matter.

His black eyes betrayed nothing.

I thought I was brought here because of that, I signed to my brother who translated.

"Omar may be having second thoughts--" Aqib tried to explain but one look from the Prince shut him up.

"I made a promise to your father," Omar told us quietly. I wanted to roll my eyes in frustration. All I wanted was a meeting with the Monarch. I wanted to see his condition for myself. I wanted to know if I could help him. Was it too much to ask?

They could not bring me in deep and expect me to not take any action. If I were to help, I wanted it done by my own rules.

I remained stubbornly quiet. I was not planning to budge from my decision.

"I want to talk to Ayah." Omar suddenly said his eyes trained on me. I met his gaze steadily and lifted my chin up.

The other men slowly got up and left the room. But before Aqib left, he bent and whispered to me -

"Omar is in a position no one wants to be, Ayah. Cut him some slack. He has to choose between two people who mean a lot to him." His brown eyes looked at me meaningfully, then shaking his head ever so slightly he left the room closing the door.

Nala still stood in the corner of the room, unsure whether to leave or not. I glanced at her. I wanted her here, now that my brother was not, she could help translate for me. Omar rubbed his face exasperated. He was tired, always so tired. I pitied him but at the same time, I was done playing by his rules. I knew the Monarch was his brother but this was something, I felt, that I needed to do by myself.

"Why can't you take Aqib and Asad with you?" Omar asked. I did not know whether he was annoyed or not.

I do not want to scare him, I looked at Nala as I signed. She nodded and translated to the Prince. He looked a bit surprised to see her there but quickly gave her a small smile.

Once she was done telling what I said, Omar let out a surprised laugh. The situation was not humorous and I knew he was not laughing because he found that funny. 

"You think we will scare him?", he laughed again but I could see that he was getting angry. This was the first time I was seeing Omar loose his control, "I am worried about you Ayah. Can't you see that?"

You brought me here for this! I signed angrily. His irrational behaviour was doing nothing to prove his point. In fact, it simply made me more annoyed.

"I should not have." Omar sighed loudly and stood up, "It was a stupid decision. I just..." He looked at me and stopped talking. There was something in his eyes that I had not seen before. Something, that he had never shown me. I felt my anger dissipate as I gazed longer in his eyes.

He was the one to break contact as he rubbed his forehead.

"I just," he hesitated again, "I was desperate. I do not want to lose my brother. I cannot imagine my life without him."

Omar's voice broke and he covered his face with his hand. I could see his hands tremble and emotions stirred inside me.

"But at the same time, I cannot let anything happen to you, Ayah." His removed his hands and his black eyes penetrated into mine. The intensity of his gaze made warmth rise on my neck and cheek. My heart beat faster, he shook his head, "I do not even know why."

The last few words he spoke as if speaking to himself. He was not looking at me anymore. But my heart reacted differently, it was elated at his words. My heart felt good that I meant something to him. The odd feeling confused me and I frowned. What was happening to me?

"Permission to intervene, my lord?" Nala broke our reverie and we jolted as we stared at her. We both had forgotten her existence. I looked away sheepishly. Had she seen what had transpired between us? Suddenly, I did not want to be in the room anymore.

"Speak your mind, lady. You do need to seek my permission. You know what I think of your opinion." Omar smiled half-heartedly at the older woman and she nodded.

"I am afraid you may not like what I have to say, my lord." Nala had her head bowed and her hands were neatly placed in front of her. She was showing respect to the Prince but she sounded so confident.

"Speak anyway," Omar assured her.

"I think lady Ayah is right. You brought her here because you think she is special, that she has something in her that can help our beloved Monarch. I may not have seen what you have, but I can see that there is a strange spark in her. She is indeed different and all she asks you from you is to trust her. Is she asking too much?"

"It is not--" he looked at her incredulously, "it is not the matter of trust. I do trust her. Why else would I bring her here?" He scoffed.

I looked at them wide eyed.

"Show her that. Prove it to her that you do trust her."

Omar glanced at me, his eyes thoughtful, I was simply too confused to understand what was happening.

"I just do not want him to harm her," he spoke to himself quietly, deep in his thoughts.

"I think she knows the risk she takes, my lord, but she chose to do it anyway. She thinks she can handle herself." Nala pressed kindly. Her gaze was so motherly towards him that it felt that they had a history before. It did make sense. He had lost his mother at a young age. Did Nala take care of young Omar?

"Can you?" He spoke to me this time. His eyes questioning.

I glanced at Nala and she raised an eyebrow. I nodded.

"Then have it your way. But know we will be standing outside the entire time." He stared at me, asking me to protest. I gulped and stared back. I was not going to.

_

An entourage brought me to Monarch Qamar's floor. It made sense that the Monarch had an entire floor to himself. But the security on the floor was mind-boggling which made me wonder: were they keeping the Monarch safe from others or the other people safe from the Monarch?

Asad and Aqib expected me to back off anytime and hence felt the need to ask me if I was sure on a regular interval. When my brother asked me for the fifteenth time in a matter of half an hour, I shot him a glare so hard that he scurried away. I was tired of them thinking that I was fragile. I was not.

I could feel changes coming within me that I had never noticed before. My mind was clearer and no more confused. I was not raising unnecessary questions and was making my own decision. I was also trying not to think of the consequences of every action that I take. Is this what the Moon meant by change? Was I really changing? Was this change good or bad?

After our brief argument in my chambers, Omar had kept his distance and to be honest, I was in no mood to talk to him. He made me feel funny things and at the same time left me so confused. At one point, I was feeling more independent, more grown up. But with Omar, I felt like I was about to melt. I did not know why.

Deep in my thoughts, I did not realise Aqib hold my hand and pull me into a corner. We were just about to reach the Monarch's chambers.

"Please tell me you know what you're doing Ayah." He searched my eyes and his tone was pleading. My heart softened for the man in front of him. Hearing his story, I could not be angry at him. He had lost so much. Every life around him was of importance to him.

I smiled at him and nodded. I was lying. I had no idea what I was doing.

"Qamar is dangerous.." he warned me.

I knew that. I nodded again.

He sighed and gave me a boyish smile, "You have no idea what you are doing, right?"

I looked at my feet and shook my head. It was nice, to be honest with him. He was bizarre and instinctive too. I knew he would understand.

"You're a good match to Omar, honestly. Both of you are simply too stubborn to budge." He gave me a nudge with his shoulder. I looked at him and gave him a small smile. I could alway trust him to make me feel better at odd circumstances. 

"Make a sound if you need us. We'll be outside, okay?" He looked at me. I did not see the worry in his eyes but simply concern. He did not want to question my decision even if he thought it was wrong. He just wanted to protect me the way he was not able to protect his family.

"Ayah," Master Wali called out to me and I hurried towards them with Aqib behind me. Omar threw us a curious glance but did not say anything. They were standing in front of the door to the chambers of the Monarch. There were two guards standing right in front of the door. Omar gave them a curt nod and the guards opened the door.

To say that the chamber was huge would be an understatement. I had seen nothing like this before. But then again, I really did not have any experience. His living room - where he attended guests - was massive and so well furnished that I could not help but gawk. The interior had a theme: green and golden. But whoever had chosen the furniture had not gone overboard.

My eyes caught something in the corner of the living room, near the window that looked over the private garden. It was a golden crescent moon and I assumed it was made of pure gold. I wondered why they did not make the piece stand in the centre. It was gorgeous.

"You asked me why he never changed his insignia." Aqib whispered beside me, "Do you know what his name means?" He was staring at the crescent moon.

I glanced at Asad who was listening to our conversation. He shook his head. He did not know what it meant.

Aqib gave me a smile, "Qamar means Moon in the Old Dialect."

Something flipped inside me and I froze. What if it was not the Moon that I was drawn to but my subconscious telling me that the Moon held importance? What if it was simply hinting that Moon and I were connected? Did I ever really talk to the moon? Did it somehow mean that my mind was telling me that it was my destiny to meet Qamar? Then who was the voice? Did the voice come from within me?

All this time, I had thought her to be real. Maybe she was simply my subconscious. There was nothing magical about her. I felt my heart feel heavy but I shook my head. It did not matter. I was not here to understand my emotions. I was here to help the Monarch. All my life, I had been selfish, thinking about me and my family. Life had given me an opportunity to be selfless.

I walked purposefully towards another door in the living room, ignoring the people staring at me. There was another pair of guards, guarding the door. I gave them a nod just the way Omar had. They glanced at me and then looked behind me seeking the Prince's permission.

They looked at him, again, confused. One of them shook their head, but did as he was told and opened the door.

I felt a presence behind me and Omar leant closer to whisper, "I trust you."

Something fluttered inside my stomach at our proximity. I could smell him and it comforted me. His arm brushed past my hand as he moved away and I felt my skin tingle. What was happening to me?

It meant something. The three words that he had spoken to me right now. It meant something to me. Why else would I react so stupidly?

I shook my head again. How could he affect me so much? Why did he? I tried to focus my brain on an important matter in hand: Qamar.

I felt my heart thud in excitement and nervousness; thankfully it had nothing to do with Omar. I was about to see the Monarch. How would he react to me? Would he feel scared? Endangered? Would he welcome me?

I hesitated on taking the step inside the Monarch's room. I glanced at my brother and he smiled at me even though it did not reach his eyes. He was trying to reassure me and encourage me. I exhaled loudly and stepped inside.

Darkness engulfed me like a thick blanket. All the curtains of his room were not drawn. They hung loosely with no hint of sunlight.

There was someone on the bed, I could see him sitting and he looked like he was cradling something. But rather than moving towards him, I took in my surrounding. His room was large too, everything was. The furniture inside the room was a complete contrast to those outside. It indicated that the person who decorated the room was not the same person that decorate the living room. 

The furniture was pleasant wooden coloured. There were nothing extraordinary and built more for comfort. Something told me that this was the doing of Queen Iqra. At first glance, I had known that she was a woman of simple taste.

I looked around for anything that belonged to her and my eyes caught sight of the huge portrait that hung on the wall just above the bed's headrest. I felt the Monarch's gaze on me but something told me to ignore him and I continued staring at the portrait.

It was a family portrait and up close I realised that Monarch Qamar was very handsome. I did not why I was staring at the portrait rather than looking at the real Monarch, but it felt like the correct thing to do.

I did not want him to feel uncomfortable.

From my peripheral vision, I saw him move and instinctively I took a step backward. But I did not look at him. I moved my gaze from Monarch Qamar's grey eyes in the portrait to Queen Iqra's black. She wore a golden dress with turquoise sequins. She had a beautiful smile plastered on her face and I noticed the way she had her hand intertwined with Qamar's. They were a beautiful couple. My eyes fell on their little girl and my heart stopped for a moment. Innocent grey eyes stared back at me with rosy cheek. Their child had her mother's curly hair and her father's eyes. I blinked as tears appeared in my eyes. The desert people were heartless monsters!

"Have you come to take them away?" Someone spoke to me and I jolted from my thought. My eyes fell on the real Monarch and I gasped. Dark shadows resided in his eyes that made it look opaque black. His skin was pale and lifeless. His body frail and weak. There was dark circles under his eyes and his eyes were swollen. His lips were so parched that he looked dehydrated and he was cradling a pillow on his lap. He leaned towards the pillow protectively. His hair was uncombed and reached his shoulder. It looked like it had been ages since he had washed. Wild stubble grew on his chin. He looked haggard, nothing like the Monarch I knew.

I gulped and shook my head.

His eyes intrigued me. It was so dead. Nothing like the man in the portrait just above him. Could eyes change colour?

Monarch Qamar smiled, showing me his yellowing teeth, "They always say that."

It was the way he said it. He sounded hollow and dark. It was also the haunting smile. There was something dark occupying him. Despair.

Could grief change someone so much?

I glanced at the woman in the portrait, but he did love his wife and his child. Maybe I simply did not understand his love.

"Who are you?" He never spoke above a whisper, as if it hurt him to speak louder. I glanced at the door where Master Wali stood and then at him. He was staring at me while rocking back and forth with the pillow firmly kept in his lap. I saw him rub his hand on the pillow as he was trying to soothe it. It was the gesture I did when I wanted to calm baby Imad down. Who did he think the pillow was?

I noticed as he moved his head closer to the pillow and shushed it softly. Did he think the pillow was his daughter? Then it meant he thought that I had come to take her away.

"Who are you?" This time his voice was louder and I could hear the fear in it.

I glanced at Master Wali.

"My lord," he walked inside calmly as if we were talking about the weather, "This is Lady Ayah Beizeen, a friend of mine. She has travelled a long distance to come see you."

"What does she want?" Monarch Qamar pulled the pillow to his chest and wrapped both hands around it.

"She prays for your health, my lord." Master Wali replied.

"Take her away." Monarch Qamar's eyes moved sideways as if he was seeing something, "She has come for my child, take her away!"

I shook my head trying to reassure him that I did not come for his child. He needed to trust me. He did not see me and continued rocking fast. He was close to his edge. I could see his hands trembling and his finger tightening around the pillow.

"Take her away!" He kept repeating, "Take her away!"

"My lord, I assure you--" Master Wali tried.

"Take her away!" Monarch Qamar roared and stood on his bed. His eyes were wild and crazed. His body was trembling with rage. I was rooted to where I stood. Shocked at his sudden outburst.

"Take her away or I will kill her."