I did not go back to my room. I decided to stay in his visiting chambers. His reaction did not make sense to me; but why was I trying to make sense of it? Even in his delusional state, Monarch Qamar was smart. He knew that he got visions; he knew that his actions harmed people. However, he was mad at me because he claimed that once I started visiting he could not see his other visions. He could not see his daughter. He wanted to see her and I had stopped that. I did not know how but that is what he claimed. But then again why did I trust a delusional man's words.

No, I had to. If I wanted him to trust me, I needed to trust him too. I had to give his mind some credit; it had managed to still keep him relatively sane even after three years of pure torture. I just needed to find a way to communicate with him. I was not going to give up, not when things were finally becoming a bit clear.

I stared at the door to his room. If I went inside again, it would bug him and he would react even if he did not want to. I needed to think of a way to have him talk, keep him with me rather than in his mind.

How could I make him understand me? Something in my mind told me that he did understand me but was choosing not to show or believe me. I could not blame him. In his mind, he was still fighting the battle of real and not-real.

I rubbed my forehead and glanced at the exit. There was no point thinking over it. It was late and I was feeling sleepy. I stood and walked towards the exit; the guards opened the door for me and wished me a good night. I nodded and smiled at them and I made my way to my chamber.

But just as I was about to reach the chambers, I felt this urge to go under the night sky. Even though it was warm, I just wanted to feel the fresh air against my skin. I wanted to hear the crickets and I wanted to stare at the mesmerizing moon. It had been my companion for long.

I could not help but smile at the way I behaved. It seemed that all I did was follow my instincts blindly without thinking of any consequences. I used to think a lot before my every action but now I had changed. I relied on my instincts more than my mind and so far it did not prove to be a wrong decision.

I hovered a bit in front of Asad's door, unsure if I should wake him up. We had been a bit distant lately and I knew it was my fault. I had been distant. In fact, I had been distant with everyone. I just felt that did not understand me anymore.

I shook my head, he must be asleep and I would only be troubling him. Turning completely I walked to the end of the hallway and climbed the steps down until I reached the backdoor. I stared at my feet and smiling widely I removed my sandals. I was going to walk bare foot just as I did when I was a child in the village.

The Guards opened the backdoor for me and I headed towards their private garden. I titled my head a little so that I could stare at the night sky. I could see twinkling stars scattered in clusters all over the soot black sky. The moon shimmered in her beauty and the small star beside her twinkled in delight.

The gates opened for me and I stepped inside. My feet against the trimmed and well-maintained grass; the grass was wet as if irrigated recently. I could feel the earth under my feet and it filled me with a weird sense of peace. I walked towards the statue of Monarch Qamar, rejoicing in my solitude, when I noticed that someone was already there. Hoping that it was not Master Wali – I was in no mood for his sarcastic sense of humor – I made my way towards the person. I had a feeling I knew who it was and I was not disappointed when I saw Prince Omar sitting on the ground, his head against the high raised podium, his eyes closed. I stood there silently and watched him. He looked at peace.

Silently, I tip-toed to his side and sat on the ground. I placed my head against Monarch Qamar's statue's podium and closed my eyes just as Prince Omar did. I wanted to feel what he felt. I wanted share his silence and peace. Was this the place that kept him calm? Kept him together?

Maybe he was trying to channel his ancestors or maybe he just wanted to be close to his brother. He knew he could not be in real life, so he had to do with his statue. Maybe this was his way of conversing with his brother.

I closed my eyes and let the silence of the night wrap its hand around me and cradle me like a sleeping baby. All these confused emotions and the doubts, I wanted them gone. I wanted to remember my essence; I wanted to be Ayah Beizeen – the mute girl from the village.

Omar stirred beside me and I opened my eyes to look at him. He blinked a little and I realized that he must have fallen asleep. He looked sideways directly at me; he looked a bit confused at my presence beside him. I realized that I was sitting a bit too closed to him than I usually dared. But surprisingly I did not mind the closeness. But it must look inappropriate from his perspective and I could not help but blush and look away.

"What are you doing here?" Omar asked me. His tone had a little hint of surprise in it but otherwise was kind as usual. Did he ever get tired of being kind or nice?

In his answer, I pointed at the sky. I did not know what was unique about this night but it had lured me outside to this private garden.

He nodded and placed his head back to where it was, his shoulder slightly brushing mine. He was staring at the sky too.

"Me too," He said.

I wrapped my hand around my knees and stared at the sky along with him. It felt strangely nice to be there with him, even with our close proximity, it did not feel awkward.

As he stared at the sky I could not help but stare at him. He had left his dark curls open and some of them fell on his forehead. He had dark circles under his eyes which suggested that he was not getting much sleep. His skin was smooth and flawless. I could not help but be a bit envious. Why was it that men had better skin texture than women? I frowned at that thought. He took a deep breath and his lips curled into a small smile. I looked away. He had noticed that I was staring at me.

"It is fine, Ayah." He said and his smile widened.

I shook my head like a child but a small smile appeared on my face too. I was simply amused at my naiveté. How could I possibly think that he would not notice me staring at him?

He nudged my shoulder with his playfully, his eyes twinkling as he looked at me, "I hope you found me handsome."

I raised my eyebrow at him, slightly amused by this playful side of his, I shook my head.

"Oh come on," he groaned like a child, "I am not that bad."

I grinned at him and he smiled at me back. Did I find him handsome? I think I did. But most importantly, I admired the strength and determination that he had in him. He had not given up when everyone else would. He had not stopped searching. But yes, he was handsome too in his own way. He did not have any particular striking feature like Qamar's gray eyes or Aqib's boyish looks. But he had his own thing that made him set himself apart.

"Well, I hope you think of me as handsome because I find you very beautiful inside and out." He said and stared directly in my eyes unabashed. The sheer intensity of his gaze made something inside me crumble, my face warmed up and I could not help but look away. I felt like an idiot. He was simply complimenting me. He had complimented me before.

"And I hope...I just hope that when this ends – whichever the way it does – we still do remain friends, Ayah."

I nodded without hesitation. I wanted to remain his friend despite our differences. Aqib and Omar have been the only friends I've ever had. I was growing too attached to them to let them go so easily.

"I would love to have a friend that continues to confuse me," he added and I blinked at him. What did he mean that I confused him? If anything, he confused me! I shook my head in disbelief and I pointed at him, narrowing my eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Omar laughed.

I pointed at him, raised my eyebrow and then pointed at myself.

"I think what you are trying to say is that I confuse you," It was Omar's turn to shake his head, "that is completely not true. I am an open book."

I scoff and looked away. He was not an open book. He was anything but an open book. He was a contradiction – a man who opposed his earlier behavior – but surprisingly it did not make him untrustworthy. He was shy but confident; he hated politics and the royal culture but did not do a bad job fitting in and administrating the kingdom. There were always two aspects to Omar. There was an element of mystery to him but at the same time, he made you feel that you understood him.

I patted his shoulder and pointed at myself, and then I turned my hands to ask: Why?

Why was I confusing to him? I always thought that he understood me and in some ways, he understood me better than the others.

"Ah," he sighed and folded his legs underneath him to make himself comfortable, I leant back and listened, "I just find your mind quite fascinating. It is not that you are not expressive but sometimes you go in this mood and you do not come out of it, Ayah, and I just this urge to know what you are thinking right then. I have said this before to you, but I would love to see the world – everything – from your perspective. I think it will be a lot more beautiful than what I see."

I looked at him questioningly. Yes, he had told me before, but I never got to know the reason why?

He read my expression easily, "I have no logical reasoning backing that statement of mine. It is just something I feel." He shrugged.

I smiled and looked away. How did that make me confusing? I had no idea! He wanted to know what was going inside my head. Sometimes, even I did not understand the thoughts that ran in my mind.

We sat in silence for a long time and he drew patterns in the grass with his thumb. I just stared at his hand without really thinking. The silence was comfortable and I realized that I was felt at peace. There were no heightened emotions, no feeling of confinement, and at the same time I did not really feel lonely.

I glanced at Omar. Did he feel this comfortable? He seemed to look like. His body posture was loose and relaxed. He did not care about his appearance in front of me, he did not care about all the dirt that his clothes would have. He just sat there. He did not ask me to leave.

"The Guards..." he spoke up, "The Guards informed me that Qamar talks to you."

It did not surprise me that the Guards reported him. I still remembered what he had told me in the stables. It was his responsibility to know what went around him, especially in his house; a place people usually disregarded. It was something he had learned from Qamar.

I contemplated on how to answer his question. Yes, Qamar had talked to me but there was nothing new. He had told me things that they already knew, well except the fact that he felt that I was the one who stopped his daughter's visions from coming.

"Does he mention me?" Omar prodded and my heart sank. I looked at him guiltily and shook my head.

He shrugged his shoulder and nodded.

I patted at his shoulder again and pointed to Queen Iqra's and the princess' statue. He nodded. It was only about them that Qamar talked about. I wondered how that felt for Omar. He was doing so much for Qamar but his brother never thought about him.

"Asad and Aqib seem to have become close." Omar observed breaking into my thoughts, "I envy them sometimes but then I am glad too. I am not around like before."

I nodded absent mindedly.

"You did not make many friends though..." he looked right into my eyes.

How could I tell him that I never really had friends back in the village either? I did not know how to make friends.

"I mean I still have Wali to confide with regarding all the matters that I cannot talk to Aqib about. Aqib did mention that you and Asad do not meet as often. Why is that?"

I had to admit. He was very good at gathering information. He kept tabs on my life in detail and I did not know whether it was only me that he was worried about so much or everyone living in the palace.

I shook my head. I had no idea why I did not go meet my brother as often. But at the same time, I did not know why he did not come to meet me. Was it simply that? Was I being egoistical? Did I always expect him to come to me? Was I always like this?

"Ayah," He turned to fully face me, his face illuminating under the silver light of the moon. There was no question about it, he was handsome and I could not help but notice that my heart fluttered weirdly.

"This whole thing with Qamar can be emotionally draining. I am there and I am talking from experience. You need someone that you can talk to and God has blessed you with an amazing and supportive brother who genuinely cares for you. Do not push him away from you. No matter how strong or brave you are you will always need someone to stand behind you or sometimes lead you when things go wrong. And I cannot see anyone else doing that for you. It becomes lonely when you lose that person, trust me on that."

I nodded. I understood him and I understood his reasons. I had been stupid with my brother for no apparent reason. I had to make up with him.

However, I folded my hand and looked pointedly at him raising my eyebrow.

He looked at me confused.

You have me, I said. I was surprised to see that he understood that and maybe I was mistaken but I saw a genuine wide smile break in Omar's face. I had to catch my breath because under the moonlight and in the silence of the night – that smile was dazzling.