“Look at you, aren’t you sick of yourself?”

“Look at you, you look like a big ball”

“Look at you, do you think people will like you the way you are”

Digging into the deepest part of a soul people fail to realize the pain and anguish one goes through due to unruly comments. Anna was pained, she was a plus size and she knew it but she loved herself the way she was. Her parents were fine about it. Her relatives as well but when the people she considered as her friends make her feel like absolute filth, she didn’t know how to face the world.

Her once bright world became dark and her views began to falter. Her strength slowly declined as she was refused to be accepted by her so called ‘friends’. She resorted to her last option.

To take it all out. Everytime she ate she would rush to the bathroom to flush it all down the toilet. She tried so much to become the girl they wanted her to be. The girl with a small waist and toned jaws with no double chin. She went to extremes of not eating at all as well. She would not eat lunch or dinner, rather she gave it away to others. She trained herself to decline temptation and she was fine with it. Finally, she became that girl everyone loved but unfortunately happiness is short-lived.

One day, her body gave up the insults and she fainted inside her bedroom with no energy to go on. Her health declined her.

The other side of the coin? What did her parents feel? What did her relatives feel? They lost a daughter, they lost a sister, they lost a niece. Most of all, they lost a young girl with a beautiful heart.

When they realized her intentions to be what others wished of her they crumpled down with the weight of the harsh reality that eventually broke their child whom they adored. They had no choice as their daughter who once shared every secret refused to speak and let them know she was hurting. They were lost in a dark night and didn’t know what lied ahead that is when they realized Anna had fainted in her bedroom after fighting her demons for so long.

The doctors and nurses were furious at the parents who had done nothing at all to prevent a tragedy. Yes, she didn’t die but the consequences were dire. She had to practice a healthy diet and not let out all the contents in her stomach beacsue of her insecurities. Her parents were warned, the doctors said they would call the authorities about their negligence and make sure the child got better parents.

When Anna woke up she didn’t know the consequences of her actions. Not her death, but the failiure her parents felt. The angry eyes her parents got because it was supposedly their fault. But when she did realize…

She cried. She cried again. And again. And again. She had failed her dearest people who had no say in her actions. The guilt followed her everyday and with that overwhelming guilt she stopped. What? Her gestures to insult her own lovely body. She made it her mission to make it up for months of wrongdoing. She made it her mission to eat and be happy. She made it her mission to make her parents happy. She made it her mission to brave the storm and accept her voluptuous body that gave her satisfaction.

Day by day she spoke to her mind and reminded it that she was enough. She reminded herself that she was proud of her own skin. Looking back to the incidents that happened so long ago she reminded herself to teach the little bundle of joy in her hands that she was her own BEAUTY STANDARD.

Just love the way you are.

Love,
Teen_Fix