You know what I realized? 

My life is the plot of a shitty Netflix show or some kind of movie that is a classic that no one actually likes but feels obligated to watch because it's a classic. Here's why.

Baby is born on the FIRST OF A MONTH. 

Baby happens to be a military child.

Baby grows into a toddler that every one thinks is a super genius just because toddler can read a little better than most kids her age.

Toddler has a male best friend.

Toddler has an annoying voice.

Toddler is super dramatic and strange which of course everyone thinks is adorably funny, but toddler doesn't know why everyone is laughing and takes offense. 

Toddler grows into kid makes loads of friends BUT THEN because she is so conveniently a military child, she has to pack up and move LITERALLY across the country.

Kid moves to Arizona, but gives no fucks because she isn't really old enough to make that strong of a connection with her friends and shit.

Kid is weird and only makes like two or three friends.

Kid joins youth sports. Kid fails at sports because she is not athletic in anyway and immediately notices that her sister is and becomes insecure.

The cliche one sister is the nerdy one, the other is the sporty one, and the little brother....well, no one knows wtf he is.

Kid begins have crushes on people who are not boys which is VITALLY important to the plot later on in the story.

Kid moves back to her home town and regains the friends she used to have and more. 

Kid grows into preteen.

Preteen goes to middle school where she meets emos for the first time.

Preteen develops crush on someone who is utterly unobtainable for her.

Preteen gets her heartbroken and then proceeds to develop YET ANOTHER unobtainable crush.

Crush finds out and the strings preteen along until preteen eventually finds out that crush never actually like her, but honestly, preteen should've seen that coming, I mean, come on. 

Preteen is heartbroken again and cries a lot.

And guess what happens next.

Conveniently being a military child preteen receives LIFE ALTERING news that she is moving to another effing country.

Preteen gives no fucks because, hey, adventure. 

Preteen arrives in other country and is for some reason shocked that things are so different when really she shouldn't be.

Preteen makes friends easily, some how even though she is the most annoying protagonist since Marlin in Finding Nemo. 

Preteen goes to new school and meets more people that like her, and yet preteen has low self esteem....how....?

AND THEN...

FRIEND DRAMA!

  Preteen starts hanging with other friends instead of the friends she currently hangs with because shes an idiot.    

Then preteen lives life uneventfully and....

CUE LOVE INTEREST!

She hears rumors about someone that had been here before and was moving back, and doesn't know what to expect (a little cliche)

Person comes and it's not love at first sight (obvi because that literally cannot exist), but it's intrigue at first sight (what people should say instead of love at first sight)

Then preteen proceeds to have a borderline obsessive crush on this person that she has only had like one five second conversation with (cliche).

Preteen and person she is interested in share a corny moment where they share earbuds and the love interest is like "You should listen to this song" and crushing so hard the preteen is like "Okay" and surprise, surprise, the preteen loves the song.

But while this love interest plotline is going on something else is too.

Preteen FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON starts to experience depression and shit she's never even heard of before.

Preteen's self esteem issues get even worse than they already are.

Preteen's emotional stability goes down the effing drain.

Preteen believes she is fat so the only OBVIOUS thing for her to do is eat her feeling and develop and eating disorder in which she eats more.....what?

Preteen has hit rock bottom, and then....

THE LOVE INTEREST SAVES HER BY BEING RELATABLE AND SOMEONE TO TALK TO YAAAAAY!

For the first time in the preteen's life someone likes her back....wow that's a little sad....

PRETEEN GROWS INTO A TEEN AND....

Her friends throw her a small birthday party at a nearby park with all her favourite things.

Thing are going great so I think the story should end here....BUT WAIT

Teen's parent find out about her depression and habits caused by it and make her go to therapy. Because WHY THE FUCK NOT!

BUT WAIT!

Love interest's parents don't approve of their taboo romance (My Taboo Romance the band) and forbid them from seeing eachother.

Shakespeare called, he wants his star-crossed lovers cliche plotline back.

Teen's emotional state goes even farther down the drain.

Then it's summer break. 

CUE MONTAGE OF JUMPING IN POOLS AND HANGING WITH FRIENDS AND GOING TO AMUSEMENT PARKS!

And then school's back.

Teen lives uneventfully.

Then love interest FUCKING SERENADES THE TEEN WITH A SONG THAT IS KIND OF THEIR SONG TO ASK HER TO HOMECOMING. Only in a movie could this ever happen. Oh wait....

Teen is happy until she finds out that the love interest cant even effing go to homecoming because, y'know, the whole parents thing.

Then teen is sad until she gets to homecoming and the love interest surprises her and they dance to "Closer" by Halsey and The Chainsmokers and have a fucking great time.

Teen is happy and then she's not again.

She realizes she eats way to fucking much and then tries to combat binge eating with not eating....smart. 

While all of this is happening teen somehow has time to come to terms with her confusing sexuality. Okay. 

So that happens...

And then guess what.

MORE EFFING FRIEND DRAMA THAT I WILL NOT DESCRIBE BECAUSE SAID FRIENDS INVOLVED IN THIS DRAMA HAVE WATTPAD SO I THINK NOT.

Anyway so, teen's school is getting a new building.

There's a day where the building is open for people to look inside.

CUE MONTAGE OF MESSING AROUND IN CLASSROOMS, RUNNING DOWN HALLS, AND DANCING ON THE ROOF LIKE THIS IS HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL OR SOMETHING!

Then something cute happens, obviously.

Love interest give the teen a mixtape as present. This shit only happens in movies. Oh wait...(second "oh wait...." in the span of five minutes).

Teen fangirls over the super thoughtful present and almost cries.

And then guess what

Teen loses her ipod in a fucking gigantic school. of course.

Teen and friends look everywhere and obviously they don't find it.

The protagonist is an idiot. of course.

And that was the latest episode. Which means nothing else has happened yet because that's where I am now. Wow, this whole thing was me basically doing a cinema sins of my life lol. But anyway, if that isn't already a low budget, awful movie or a Netflix show no one wanted (*cough "Fuller House" *cough*) Then it should be. I mean minus the depressing shit, cursing, and overall gayness of the protagonist (bi-ness to be correct, but whatever) this is actually the plot of a Disney channel movie. Anyway....bai!