You know that amazing store Whole Foods. That gigantic place where the vegan fam basically lives. Yeah, I love that store, but sometimes it disappoints me. It disappoints me because i don't really like healthy stuff. I don't really give a fuck about eating healthy but I get upset when look in a mirror. See, i hate it, but like, I'm too lazy to change it. Literally, the tag line of my life. Anyway, here are healthy foods I hate.

Kale
I'm sorry, but if you like kale, go screw yourself. Honestly, kale was created by Satan. I'm glad we moved to Japan cause there's no Whole Foods here and my mother can't buy kale chips and make kale smoothies and put kale in our meals. Ew.

Tofu
I know what you're thinking, how can you not like tofu? It only tastes like what you flavour it with. Yes, I am aware of that, but the taste isn't the problem. It's that consistency. Ugh. But you know that brand Tofurkey? That's at Whole Foods and I freaking love Tofurkey. I don't know if it's actually tofu or just another kind of meatless meat, but it's good.

Carrots
My eyesight is already fucked and my hair, well, i don't care about it enough to eat carrots. Carrots are gross. I can't even say what the taste like, just nasty. Literally, so disgusting.

Squash
Okay. Do I even have to explain? What would anyone even like squash? Why they want that slimy consistency in their mouth and that taste. Ew, that taste. Blegh.

Soy milk
I don't really hate soy milk, it's just not almond milk. Like, almond milk was the prom queen who grew up to be a doctor with an amazing spouse and polite children. Soy milk was the school outcast who no one liked and who's mom wouldn't let her shave and who cried herself to sleep every night and she didn't grow up because she killed herself.

Okra
Oh my god. Okra doesn't even taste that bad, but it's not about taste here, it's about texture. And oh man, slime for the gods. Literally so disgustingly slimy I just can't even. Anyone who's ever eaten okra understands.

Okay I'm done because this has just turned into a list of vegetables I hate and I don't need that list I'll just tell you right here which ones I hate: ALL OF THEM. Okay, bai!