Destiny remembered it all. She remembered the years wasted in Universe's store, she remembered the reason why they had set out on this epic voyage, and she remembered the anger in her soul. "We..." She paused and let her eyes wander Universe's perfect body, his bulging muscles, his short-cropped black hair, his starry eyes, his mighty arms, his towering legs, and his pink loincloth. She took a breath. "We are the four metaphors of the apocalypse—"

Santa cleared his throat.

"—and... Santa," Destiny added. "And we have come to wreak revenge—"

Universe's face lit up in a smile of recognition. "Yeah, I remember now. You're my collectibles."

Destiny took a step towards him. "We. Are. Not. Collectibles." With that, she kicked his shin.

At the same time, Time lunged for Universe as well and pummelled his chest.
Butterfly lost its hold and started batting its wings.

Cat jumped in to help his comrades. He extended his claws and raked them over a bulging biceps.

Universe howled in pain.

With a farting noise, air started to escape a gash that Cat's efforts had left in Universe's skin.

Our friends took a step back and gazed at the spectacle before them.

Universe was trying to hold the gash closed—but failed. He quickly lost pressure and volume.

"Universe is collapsing," said Cat in awe. And truly, they saw him shrivel and shrink before their eyes until all that remained was a heap of wrinkly, tanned skin and a warm, slightly musty cloud of air.

"Universe was nothing but a bag of hot air." Destiny shook her head in disbelief.

~~~~

"What have you done?" Blacky raised his hands to his trembling lips.

"We," suggested Time with a dramatic pause, "deflated an altogether too blown up for his own good kind of guy."

"I'd say, he had it coming. He messed with destiny," added Destiny and carefully poked at Universe's crumpled skin with a knitting needle.

Cat peacefully licked his paws and Butterfly landed lightly on his favourite bald spot on Time's head. Nevertheless, the movement of its wings made the remains of Universe quiver, and the musky cloud dissolved.

Santa scratched his beard. His renown was obviously based more on his gift-carrying than his logical skills. He sounded worried anyway. "But, if Universe is gone, where are all the galaxies he encompassed? All the star systems with all the planets and all the cities with all the houses and the chimneys I need to deliver my presents?"

"Gone," Time said.

"Yes, and good riddance, I might say," added Destiny.

"Well, some of those chimneys were getting a mite too tight for me, so I'm not one to complain," mused Santa.

Blacky crunched his black teeth while tiny strands of angry steam curled out of his pointy ears. He opened his mouth, but before he got to utter a syllable, Spaceship landed with a satisfying thump in the lawn in front of them.

"Daddy? Can we leave now? It's suddenly very dark and lonely out there."

Cat walked up to Spaceship, tail erect, licking his lips in anticipation.

"Are there some of those marvellous pancakes left? I feel a bit hungry."

Blacky stomped his foot. Incidentally he killed the last living garden snail with this unthought action, as all the others were gone for good with Universe.

"Ugh, now my boot is all slimy and sticky. And there's no longer a Universe. We're all going to suffocate!"

"Relax," Destiny stated. "The four of us are metaphors, remember? We don't suffocate. And Santa is Santa as long as someone believes in him. No believers, no Santa. It's really very simple, even your smartphone should be able to get this."

Blacky stared at Santa with a deep frown. Suddenly, the old man's whole bulk, including beard and scarf, disappeared with a final puff in a white cloud, leaving only a slightly fishy smell of pancakes.

"See? Seems you, dear Blacky, were the very last believer. Now to the question why you and Spaceship are still here." She turned her face at Time. "I guess this is your doing, my esteemed apocalyptic partner."

Time considered Destiny's words and grinned. "Yep. Just stopped time, aka myself, in some places, making sure that this obnoxious black hole and our good friend Spaceship outlasted this guy." With that, he kicked Universe's crumpled hide.

"I'm not obnoxious." Blacky glowered at our friends, and the steam rising from his ears assumed a greasy, blackish quality.

"And now, my friends, I suggest we quickly retire to our ship... like right now." Time loped off towards Spaceship's conveniently extended ramp.

Cat and Destiny looked at steaming Blacky, then at each other, and ran for the ship as well.

Once they were all inside, Time yelled for Spaceship to get the hell out of there. And spaceship, miraculously, obliged without preceding discussion.

"Er..." Cat scratched his ear while watching Blacky's garden recede in one of Spaceship's windows. "We're in a black hole, we... sort of... can't escape. Like never. Unless we quantum-evaporize, which is not healthy."

"There's nothing you can't do if Time and Destiny are on your side." Time grinned.
Destiny nodded. "True. But, well, what are we going to do now? There's nothing out there. Must be boring."

With that, and with a faint plop, Spaceship and its passengers were the first multi-molecular objects ever to escape a black hole's Schwarzschild radius.

"Spaceship," Time said, "please take us around the next corner."

"Okay." Spaceship headed around the next corner, stopped, extended a camera telescope to peer back at the black hole, and projected the image on a wall for our friends to enjoy. Black steam rose from the black hole hanging before a black backdrop.

~~~~

"Er..." Cat scratched himself again. "There are no corners in space, especially in a collapsed Universe's space."

"Cat." Time's voice was slightly irritated. "Time... and Destiny... capisce?"

"Yeah..." Cat lifted a front paw defensively. "I see. You're both on our side. But anyway, what happens now?"

"It's a little-known fact that angry black holes, if sufficiently angry, can go bang," Time said.

"It's boom," Destiny corrected. "You say that things go boom, not bang."

"Okay." Time waved a dismissive hand at her. "Anyway, so what happens if Blacky goes bang... er boom? Big as he is?"

Cat started to grin, finally seeing the light. "We get a big bang... or a big boom."

"And that..." Destiny prompted.

"And that..." Cat was now in Cheshire cat mode, grinning broadly (but still in plain sight). "That will give birth to a whole new universe."

Our friends looked at each other, then high-fived, while the image on the wall showed a blinding flash of light and, only fractions of a second later, a brand new universe started to expand.

Cat hesitated. "Er... you can't actually watch a big bang... er boom... from the outside. There's no space outside it."

Time and Destiny gave Cat a stinky eye, and Butterfly batted a menacing wing.
Cat took a step back. "Of course... you're on our side, I know."

And outside Spaceship hanging in mid-nothing, just around the corner, a new Universe started to make his first steps. He just looked like the old one, a bit smaller maybe. But he did not have that pink loincloth, a sure sign that matters would be much better this time around.

~~~~

While the four metaphors of the apocalypse watched the bright new Universe unfold (without the loincloth, of course, and no, it wasn't naked either, this story is rated PG13 after all), a beautifully decorated sleigh appeared in a puff of white smoke, complete with a team of twelve snow-white, red-nosed reindeer.

The sleigh-driver cracked his whip, and with a huge smile and a resounding ho-ho-ho he rounded the corner and passed by the observation window of Spaceship.
He waved at the four friends, shouting his message at the top of his mighty lungs.

"Sorry friends, have to deliver some gifts! See you later!"

The reindeer plunged towards a small blue planet circling a yellow sun out in the eastern spiral arm of an unimportant looking small galaxy.

Destiny shook her head. The last thing she could see were the fluttering tails of a blue knitted scarf with tiny yellow hearts.

Like all possible Universes, this one might have a few flaws.

But what fun would a flawless Universe be?

~~~~

And so it ends.

And, in case you wonder what our young, new Universe was wearing instead of that pink loincloth: You don't want to know.

~~~~

🐈⌚️❓🦋

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And here we have a special surprise: a good friend and reader, EvelynHail , painted the Four Metaphors of the Apocalypse for us. Thank you so much for this! ♥️

Time and Butterfly ...

... Destiny and Cat