The day was too long and the night was too hard as the game of domince start taking its place...

**************************************
UEA

My body kept shaking and shaking as the man penetrated roughly,my whole body is now burning like fire,every kiss every touch every push he gave me it hit me hard, only pain what remaine in this movement.

Continously the l tears falling from the corner of my eyes, currently am lying on King's chest with his arm around my body and sobbing silently.. The more I sobbed the man behind me make his hold harder on me...

I'm feeling suffocating my lips are swollen by his rough kisses, am not able to feel my legs, my back is just disagree with me to even sit, eyes can't see anything as the vision was totally  buried. My hands are trembling..

I know my body can't take this type of roughness so I always kept him remembered that. And to be honest he always kept it soft till today.

So many time I had s*x with King but I never see him like this, generally he alwaya very playfull at the time of fo**play and gentle during the int*rco**ed..

But today he was too hard, he started kissing me roughly even bite my lip until its started bleeding slightly, he tore my clothes and threw it on the floor,his every push was crashing my bones.my body started giving up my vision start getting hezzy as an impact of his rough handling..

After a certain point of time I can't take this any more I calliut his name weakly.. First he doesn't respond and on doing what he was doing ..

But when second time I alter his name he recognized

Maybe because of his hard work for 2 hours make him a lil tired so he stopped his activity and looked into my eyes, his eyes marking my soul a bit trimble..

Till the time my condition deteriorate a lot

Immediately the guilt started talking over his expression.. But I can't let this happened..

I love King, in my heart I surrender to him long ago.. I can't let him be in guilt for f**King me hard when I know the amount of presure currently he is facing, how much frustrated he is now in his personal life along with to much work load ..

Despite of his problems tension he still care about me.as soon as he realized my condition he immediately stop and lean some soft kisses my face then make a hot bath and carry me to the tub..

I can't be selfish with my love ,I don't want to take only advantages from him, I know,am only his S*x  patner, still he care about me so how can I leave him in guilt....

When he seat beside the tub to give me bath I hold his hand and told  him to join me and take a bath together, he hesitate first but when I insist him he come into the tub and sit on the side leaning his body against the bathtub wall holding me in his arm from behind...

After some time. when we done he cover him in a bathroop and make me dressed in his comfortable over size sweat shirt and trouser and carry me to the bed.. My physical pain becomes unbearable beside that my heart started being so restless I can't help my tear make its way out, making King's hold more tighter and tighter on me..

"Uea,sorry..today it's very rough "guilt is clearly visible in his voice..

"It's ok" I wishper and try to give a smile to him I don't want him to feel guilty,I love him I can't see him in guilt for using me as his stress bluster...I allowing him to take the dominance over me...

Being well awar of this fact fact that by doing this again I inviting trouble for me just like my past relationships, as I am unlucky in love,it always hurt me at the end, love is not good for my heart but I can't help it, I fall in love with King...

" Let's take some rest Uea, go to sleep"... his casual approach made me worried as he started moving out from the bed..

Is he going to leave me after full-filling his need or his guilt making him restricted to be with me from now on so he eventually making his way out..

Is he going to end this relationship...

I immediately stopped him..

"Where are going ".. I can't help myself but ask him..

He caressed my hair and replied softly,
" I just go and get a cigarette,you sleep first"....

I moved forward and pull his arm and locked it in mine...

"Don't smoke!!..can you, for me, I don't like when you smoke, this small make me suffocating and it's not good for your health too, plz can you quit it, for me"..

I was hesitated frist may be am asking for too much or may be he can think I'm interfering too much in his matter but can't resist myself from asking him that though he never smoked in my surrounding he always go to the balcony or a lil distance from me when ever he smoked but still when ever I smell the tobacco on his body I dont like that smell and get worried about his health.. So I want him to quite it if he can..

In the dim light of the room our gaze meet and he let go my hold on his arm at this time my heart almost stopped beating, may be I crossed my limits, I shouldn't say this...

By realizing this immediately I moved to my side making a lil space between us and turn my body to the other side for try to catch some rest..

I didn't except King to lying down on the bed and again scooping me in his arm and pressing me against his chest and make my heart feel his warm again.

"Let's sleep together, go tosleep now, you need rest"... he make me turn towards him and he immediately warp me into his arm..

**************************************
King

There is no difference between me and those monsters who hunted my Uea in past...

I also hurt him like those demons, I also gifted him that same amt of pain and insured the same dominance for him..

How can I not realized what am doing while doing that.. How can be that much irresponsible with him how can I make him bleed and suffocating..

How could I do this!! that just because I am more physically stronger than him but can't handle the mental pressure, use him and  put more physical dominance so that I can erase my stress..

It's all started from few days back..

This 10-11 months are one of the most  beautiful phases of my life where I fall in love with Uea, I realized it and promised myself to protect him and love him for entire life and soon I want to make him my, I want to confess my feelings to him.. But suddenly every thing started messing up making me frustrated...

My family want me to settle down now

From the frist place it was started on a very lighter note.. Vack then if I know it will turned out like this I will never entertain all of those f**king things like the way I did.

My mom, sometime my sister-in-law kept calling me to home with excuses like lunch or dinner,sometimes Ira was also there,though I feel it suspicious still I use to join them as I said after Uea many things are changed in my life so now I started value-ing the family more and like spending time with them and soon I want to bring Uea here and introduce him with them so my family got completed.

But every thing got shattered when my mom announced that she find a match for me,it was Ira,she want me to get married with her in next year and currently want me to spend time with her,go on dates or vacations to know each other,I try to explain her so many time that I don't want to get married with Ira or any one else for now but they are not rady to understand anything.They thought I'm just not willing to gave up my freedom and tie-down with someone that why am making excuses and running away.

It's my bad that I can't explain her the actual reason becouse am still not sure about Uea's feelings, though our relationship changes a lot in this one year,I can feel he started trusting me, care about me,he indirectly always find a way to make me comfort when ever we are outside or infront of others.But I'm still confused that only an infatuation towards me or there is some ray of hope, any emotions, any heart involve and based of which I can fight the battle for our love..

More over his cold attitude beside the obsation of mentaining the secrecy of our relationship making my situation even worse..There is no way to get any clue of his feelings which make me more frustrated, being a human I too have my limits but I don't want to bother him much because I know his condition.

But as result of frustration I often involve in fight with my family, my dad and brother stopped talking with me alrady,bmy mom also on denal mode, only my sister-in-law keep being my comfort zone but she can't help me much as I can't share my issues with her also, and day by day things are getting worse.

My mom keep arranging date for me almost each alternative weekend and keep blackmailing me by giving excuses of our family business and fathers reputations and all...

Today was really a black day for us.. in morning when we reached office my innocent childhood friend idiot Jade spoiled our day as he disclosed about my family affairs that my mom looking for a match for me and she keep sending me on dates on each alternative weekends, and start pulling my leg, Uea was also presents there, I clearly identified his facial changes after hearing all this,then the whole day he drawing himself into work even refused to go for lunch with us instead of he ordered it on his desk. I also stay back and order my in office but we both can bearly eat..

So after office I insist Uea to went out and have dinner at newly opened restaurants when my mom call me and started again the same old conversation

After disconnecting the call I decided to talk to Uea..I want to know what he is thinking after knowing all and I myself want to tell him everything about my mom's match making and I want to let him know that I'm not interested in all this, and I planning to tell my family about that but like every time this time also the conversation ended incomplete

"Ohh!! King you back,I thinking to order pizza,what you want to order ".. Uea asked me with a force smile..

"What ever you order,Uea!! I want to talk to you".. I was really trying hard to get into the conversation while he was constantly on mode of denial..

"King am hungry let order first, which toping you want"...

" Uea! I don't mind any topping, order what ever you want to order "...

After pressing the orders I continued

"Uea there is something I want to share with you, my family want me to settle down, My mom scherch for a match for me"..I constantly looking at him to find out any small to small hind from his expression so that I can get a idea about his feelings, but no he is the master player of this game of hiding his inner thoughts..

"It's very normal King, in normal course of business it should be like that only na, every parent want to see their child be settled".. he alter without any change of expression only stopped for two time in between

" But what about you, what you think about this, are you really want me to go on dates, are you ok with it" ...I'm feeling helpless it's currently becoming so hard for me to decoding him, is he really not care about all this then why he was sulking, why there was a change in behavior, why he not ate properly in lunch, why he ignored me, why this smile is not seems genuine, why I found him lost ..

"Well King it's upto you,it will be totally yours decision what you want to do with your life,the much I can say, is,  what ever decision you take, just let me"... After that the whole dinner was silent,when we reached our car he asked me If I want take some my time and wanna be alone if so he will go back to his condo tonight..

But that thought of going aparted from him make me shaken from inside I hurry pull him in my arm draw our lips in a passionate kisses with out giving a damm to surrounding that we are outside of our room even car..I just  want to let the world know,that I have my man in my arm beside that I want to let Uea know no matter what am not going to leave him..

But now am regarding to take him with me tonight,I was fail to take care of him tonight,I was harsh on him just because I was frustrated I let out my frustration on him.. Instead of making love with him I lil raped him, I'm feeling disgusting on myself, how can I hurt him,how can I forget my Uea does not like this things, his body can't bear the impact of hard s*x..he almost edge of passing out when I realized.. how could I do this with him..but my Uea he is too good for me, too innocent after all of this he still comfort me try his best to make me ditched my guilt for whatever I done to him...

I know he is also not in good condition, fighting with lots of things in personal and professional life...in office with the arrival of our new IT Mannager invite new hardship for him...But my mind also occupied by so many things and all this happened as a result of outbreak of uncontrolled emotions and disturbed mindset and lastly fear,fear of losing Uea or my family.

I know my family they are dangerous... My mom she is a ruthless business woman and having a tremendous power to dominate her opponent and I know my father support her blindly, My brother since childhood never support me,and when business involves he doesn't care about anything..and this marriage have a commercial interest too, so I know my mom going to do everything to make sure it's happened, on the other hand Uea,he is making me confused I want to know about his feelings but he is not rady to open up,I just pissed off by all this...

People generally called me beast the alpha, they think am so powerfull that I can dominate anything and every thing which is actually true but I really feel powerless infront of this people, doesn't matter how strong I am physically and mentally, I alrady start loosing this battle,I can't fight, nither with Uea not with my family, I Can't see any one of the both suffering, on my life and my mind this people are have their dominants.. Infront of my family's happiness I kneldown, Infront of Uea's coldness I blow my head and had to leave my weapons...

But now it's enough I need to stand up for me,for my Uea and my family..I can't lose any one,they are my life and I have to transform them again in my strength instead of my weakness.. I can't be that monster for Uea like today, nither i can leave my family too..

I have know my Ues's feelings and give my everything to make him my at the same point of the time I have to convenience my family for us with out hurting their feelings.  I have to win this war..