" King "... My name from his mouth brought me back to the reality only to witnessing his trembling body and tears in those eyes...

How can I missed those signs of my love, how I can missed...

A sudden guilt started making knot in my stomach...

How can I made this mistake...

Such an idiot I am....,"

*************************************

"King!!! I didn't do anything ".... His faint voice bearly reached to me....

But it was enough to broke down the my hypnotism and bring me back to him like his King....

I really ashamed on my self by thinking how shity my thoughts became for a while, how I was nagging on him, accusing him....

His innocent confession in a very low timid voice brought me back to the reality...

And my gaze meet him again just like it's always be....

"I didn't do anything.. but if you keep doing this we can't be friends anymore, if you don't believe me I will leave....

No one believes me, but I..I can't take this anymore "..... he murmuring under his breath looking at the ground, it's bearly audible.....

Now, It's my turn to be shattered from the words Uea just spoken..

*************************************
I always have the feel that, I have the count on Uea...

I know, I always know I have hold on him..

And for some reason I thought he will never gonna leave me... We will always be together like we use to be in this years....

In this many years, it was the first time he said something which make me feel am gonna losse him..

"Leave me.. I am not worth it... leave me we can't be friends.. and..and I can't take it anymore..".... Uea remind me again....

**************************************

He want me to leave..

Uea, who always seek for the comfort of my arms today he want me to leave..

I know, scince childhood it is my weakness, I can't control my anger... I always messed up things just because I am not enough strong to hold back my rage of anger... Scince I was a kid I use to be the hot head ruthless alpha..

Honestly, I never regret of being that till today...

Today am regreting of being a that ruthless alpha...

When I was kid and got punished in school or tution for my anger issues or misbehaving I never accept them and complain about everyone to my mom, she used to told me to think carefully and recalling every thing from beginning where I went wrong before complaining...

I never appreciate this advice of her

I always used to ignored her, I never gave a damm to this exercise, I never accept that it could be my fault too...

But today without being told by any one I accept my fault and unknowingly started recalling every thing from the beginning just like my mom use to told me...

And I realized what I had just done..

**************************************
I was clearly not rady for what ever happend here..

Is Uea started regreting for being with me... Or he simply don't want us anymore....

But I love him... Being with him for this long time I witnessed him closely how cruelly this world treated him.. how people hurt him, shattered him into pieces,and enjoy it....

I can't let him be alone, I love him, I care for him....

I can't let him go.....

**************************************

Latly we are faceing so many hurdle in our relationship, and my today's actions were make it worst...

Seeing Uea coming out from Mr.krit's cabin I lost my mind and with out thinking anything I started abuseing him like a mad man....

I started questioning about his character...

Shame on me.. what an idiot I am...

Words cuts deeper than the knife.. And I made him bleed by my word..

But God knows I don't mean those words.. I never mean those words.....

I will prefer dying rather the doubting my Uea, but in the heat of the moment I made this big mistake...

I know, I can't justify myself for this, nither I try too, but ....

It's just, I was jealous and over possessive and I can't control my anger..

I committed this mistake....

But now comming back in the reality I realised what I just did...

I was regreting for each and every word I spoke to him...

I know it's un forgettable..

But..

I have to sort everything out, before I lost Uea....

How can I said those words to him how can I accused him, Why I can't control my anger for not to messed up the situation, how can I hurt him by those word, I very well known my Uea will never do anything like that...

And from the very first day I was well aware of Krits intentions, I knew that how worst he can be, I knew how he treated one of our female employee from account department and force her to resigned.. I knew, How he used his superiority and his position to dominate others...

But my Uea was stronger than that..

Despite of every day's odd and uncomfortable situations he didn't quit.

He fight every single day...

I know because I was always around him...

Just because he is lil soft, and a bit exceptional to be fited in masculine definition, people like Krit got power to molest him and took advantage from him because of his soft and polite personality...

I knew Krit will definitely try to do something with Uea... And by using his position he will try to dominate him, and Uea, he is really innocent beside that  I know he was verge of giving up but because of his family, specially his mother he is not in position to quit....

I really want him to quit but I can't told him that... It's doesn't matter how much I love him or care for him for him may be I am still his bed mate only...

I don't know will he ever consider me to more of that, even as a friend....

I have a hope when ever I saw his action or him being dependent on me or being comfortable around me but his words, he never say anything which will nourish that hope..

Again my monolog started taking over me but I can't be lost in that now...

I force myself to came back into my sense and looked at him, guilt alrady started replacing my anger..

Still,

Seeing fear in his eyes my blood started boiling, seeing those tears falling from his eyes my heart crashing down and started falling apart..

More than Krit, it's my mistake...

"Uea"!... witnessing his trembling body I quickly took a steep towards him I want to hold him, I was scared he would faint..

I want to take him into my arm before anything happened like that, I want to comfort him...

But he mannage to hold himself and took few step back from me..

Each and every steps that he took away from me made me feel like someone snatching my life from me.

************************************

No I can't let him go.. He is my Uea, my love, my life, my everything, I can't give up on him... I moved towards him and try to reached him again...

"Uea!!"..he hissed in pain as I try to reached out his wrist where the red finger prints are clearly visible to me now..

"What's that!!".... I force a little and pull him closer to inspect his wrist while waiting for his answer, I didn't realize I was really loud.. My heart is racing like hell. I can clearly imagine what would happened behind that closed door..

Not only those finger prints on his wrist but that red marks on his neck, the black spot on his face, that broken button of his shirt which reveal his pure white body a bit from where the brushes on his body are clearly visible were the clear evidence of my love's struggle against the brutality of that monster...

His hevey breath, awaken the beast sleeping inside me....

I just want to reached to that ba**ter and punch him for hurting my Uea for touching my Uea....

"What did he do??"...I demanded my answer but no answer he is crying and shivering badly... I try to hold him close to me...

"NO!!!"...he cried loudly and push me away.. My heart started aching seeing him like this..

Suddenly the flase back came into my mind, when his ex-boy friend attacks him he cried his heart out hugging me after I saved him..... That whole night he slept hugging me like a baby....

But today he push me away from him like I'm a stranger to him....

That day there was a trust and dependence in his eyes just like a baby trust his mom but today there is a kind of fear and dis-trust in his eyes...

No, it's not similer to the fear of Krit or his ex-boyfriend...

This was quite similar to that fear when I saw him with his mom at the hospital for the very frist time....

I still remember how scared he was back then by meeting his mom, how he was shattered by her actions...how hurt he was...

Now the same fears is visible in his eyes but the Only difference is, this time all this fears and distrust are for me..

Uea, The person who always looked toward me when ever something bothered him, some things scared him, today that same person is scared of me..

Uea is holding back himself from me..

And I was drawing down to to memories of ore past where Uea belong to me and I had the hold on him....

**************************************

His condition was getting worst...

I don't have much time to think about all this right now, or drawing down myself into the memory lean...

Lately Uea started behaving very odd...

Frist he hold himself back and restrict me to hold him but now he refused to recognizing me as I try to approach him for the further conversation...

And I don't have any clue why so..

Is he scared of today's incident, or he is upset with me, I don't know.. I only know he just wants to get out from my hold too...

But I can't let it happened...

I only know, If he goes away from me today, I will lost him for ever.. And I can't afford it...

************************************

Am gonna do everything to keep him..

"Uea, what did he do haa, plz tell me, what happened ".. I asked with a shaky voice..

His irregular breathing, difficulity in talk, severing body, his condition is deteriorateing very fast...

And seeing him in that state, tear start shedding from my eyes too..

Mainwhile he alrady created a distance between us...

I know something is wrong, I soften my voice and asked him again by maintaining the distance in-between us..

"I didn't do anything, I don't want it, I told him to stop"..only that much he can manage to speck instead of giving me proper answer..

But now I don't need the answer anymore I know what actually happened, am cursing myself for leaving his side to attend a phone call.

"You..you..be..believe me, I didn't do anything,.....I told him to stop...I don't want it...plz don't beat me..plz don't lock me..plz I don't do anything...room was dark plz don't lock me".... Uea kept on murmuring...

Uea was totally insane....

**********************************

Behind the close door many time Uea took the control but I know there must be some thing massivly wrong with him...

There is something, my lovers is still vulnerable...

There is so many scars inside him...but I don't know how deep those scsrs are, I don't know what was the things he gone through..

Now, uea totally insane

"Uea!!! Uea!!!".... I try to bring him back into reality but he keep-on murmuring same thing, his sentences are no more relevant to me, why he telling me not to lock him..

Why and when and who locked him, who beat him?? Is Krit do this things to him which makes him this much scared or something else?? There is only questions and questions...I have no answer..

*************************************

His body is shivering a lot. He is scared of me too.. This situation is not normal.. He is no more into himself. He absolutely shocked and tromatized, and more than Krit it was my mistake that he ended up in this situation...

He hurt him but I broke him in-sideout..

I started hating myself for those word..

Uea is my love he us really sensitive how could I forget that, how could I say those words to Uea, distrust him and accused him... I interrogate him like a slave of my prison...

And I kept on doing that until I saw him on the verge of collapse...

I want to slap myself how I can be so hard on him..

At the Same time I want to kill that as***le Krit too for hurting my Uea....

I just want a lil sign from Uea and I will destroy every object that hurt him...

"He..I...I.." Uea start but not able to complete his sentence...

" I want you to kill him" what I want to heard from Uea but he said nothing..

I want to go and killed that Krit even with out telling, but I was not sure should I go to that b**ter cabin and punch him on his face or stay with Uea, what my Uea want...

I don't want to make Uea more uncomfortable... He is alrady suffering a lot becouse of me..

So I just gulp my anger .... Am not gonna do anything without his consent...

In the main while I saw that b**ter making his way out of office proudly...

Just by seeing his shadow Uea start becoming uncomfortable.. I want to hug him comfort him but I can't...

He still not allowing me to touch him... he still sinking for the distance...

I am really an idiot.. I messed up with everything....