"Uea, I really thought you want me to go, I want you to stop me.. I was waiting for you to told me to cancel all my meetings, but you didn't Uea, I was shattered Uea when you didn't..."

" King, I didn't want you to go, but as we decided at our agreement, we can't stop each other from going and if we found some one we stopped our things... So how will I stopped you..

I was not in position to stop you King.."

*************************************
King..

Uea was insane...

"Uea, let's go home"... He pulled his hand back as I initiated to hold it....

Witnessing his trembling body my whole body was screaming to hold him, hug him, comforting him but I can't help instate of just stayed back at my place and watching him breaking down like a glass doll...

I can take all the arrows on me it's not hurt me but seeing him in pain took my breath away...

It's my punishment to see him like this and not able to hold him... Despite of seeing him suffering I can't comfort him....

It's hurt me more anything to see him this weak.. I die thousands of time seeing him like this..

But I can't couse more damage to him..I don't know what he gone through in past few minutes, how Krit treated him... how vulnerable he is at this moment....

I only understand he is scared of any kind of physical interaction, even its only out of affection but it's scared him shaken him inside out....

He is not in state to understand this emotions

******************

"Is he scared of all kind of closeness or he scared of being closed with me only..."

He is scared of me just this thought teared me up, a knot started forming into my chest it's hurting like hell, but...

I have to bear this pain for the sake of Uea, for the sake of our relationship, our well-being...

So I hold back myself, even though my heart was acheing still resist myself to hold  my life my Uea..

My Uea, abandoned me...He is scared of me... He is refusing me..

I have to wait for him to come to me I have to wait for his acceptance once again but I can't lose my hold onto him I can't let him go...

I promise us to fixed everything... And the only way to fixed everything is honesty... Now I have to be honest I have to tell him everything even we are not in our best state...

He is tromatized and am broken but I can't give up, I will not give up on us....

******************

"Uea, look at me, I am Sorry"... I soften my voice, I try to be polite as much as I can, I was worried about his mental health... I have to be careful with him...

"I know, Uea, I'm over reacted, look at me dear".... He up his gaze blankly towards me.. I was about to approach him but he again lowered his head and took few step back creating more distance between us..

" Ok fine, I will stand here if that what all you want, But you have to listen to me.." I really hopping he will response but his gaze still fixed at ground and I stay back at my place..

"You can't go like that, without listen to me, Uea.. I will not let you go dear, please, for once just listen to me"... I desperately want to heard his voice but he maintained the silence...

I know this much ignorance I deserve after what I have done but I was more worried about his health...

I can clearly see how fast his energy was draining out of his body, he looks so exhausted and pale by this time.. His condition is getting worst....

I remember the last time when he got anxiety attack he exactly looked like this, same pale white...

I have to clam him down fast....

"Please listen to me Uea, I have a lot to say, I want to explain everything to you, please Uea, even if you made your mind to cut off from me for what ever happened this evening, then also, for last time give me this opportunity to explain please....." I didn't get any response from him...

I'm not sure, he was in the condition to listen or understand anything...

I can't accept this condition, I want him to normalize.... So again I asked his permission..

"Uea, can you listen all to me...please!!".. Finally He wagged his head in affirmation...

I was happy atlist he response...

But, I remind myself may be I only have this chance..

And I don't want to give up on us without fighting...

I decided to telling him every thing hoping he will listen and understand and may be by any chance he will response in-between..

*************************************
**sign** inhaling some air I started

"I know you were upset with me, I know probably you don't want to talk to me any more, may be you don't want to see me anymore, still I want you to listen to me..

Please just listen to me Uea...

I don't mean those words I spoke to you today.... I never, never means those words, nither mean to do all those things that I have done in these months...

I don't want to leave you alone and go to my parents house on weekends....

I don't want to cancel our trip, I don't want to go to those meetings that Jade told you about, and today also I don't want to leave you alone in department..

I never mean to do all of those things"... I stopped to catch some air while waiting for him if he want to say something..

" Uea.. you don't know how heard this days are for me, you don't know how much I regret when I canceled our trip and went to those meetings...

But Uea that was only for my mom, I just want to do a little favour on her for the sake of our business...

But I did not realized that decision was gonna be my biggest mistake Uea..

I should stopped it at the beginning only...

I myself never want to went to those meetings with Ira.. Did you know Dear, how much guilty I was feeling..

You know how bored I was whenever I went to my parents house, how badly I want to come to you, how much I missed you when ever I was away from you"... The stiffness of his body loosen a bit..

I felt little relieved when I saw his expression stared changing a bit, he stared being little calm..

But not sure about the reason.. Is it because of his exsortion draining his energy or my confessions marking him feel relaxed...

Is he still care about us....

Is he still wants us.. I ray of hope started growing up... But still situation is quite stressful...

I keep continuing, because if I stop today probably I will never get another chance to explain him again, may be I will lost him forever.. I can't afford that...

"Today, I was not blaming you Uea, am not doubting you Uea, it's just because of I'm jealous and possessive towards you..." Again mentioning about today's fight Uea's body started stress up again..

Now it's becomeing very hard for me to control myself too from not to taking Uea in my arm seeing him in this condition, but I'm helpless...

I can only keep telling him, "Apart from being jealous or possessive I was scared too, I had a doubt that he will try to hurt you... That's why I told to say 'no' to him..

But today when you went to him I was angry, I feel I'm nothing to you .... I feel worthless and ignored..

But I forgot how cleaver that a**hole is, and I know how far he can go..

How he can blackmailed people using his designation...

And he will used the same trick onto you too...

I thought I can protect you

But when I saw you coming out from his cabin crying, I felt, I fail to protect you, you know na this King hate failure so I lost my control...

It's my fault but on the other hand it's also true that..

I can't stand if anyone hurt you Uea,it's hurt me too, that why I always told you to fight back if anyone try to hurt you..

And today I feel like inspite of telling you  you let him to hurt you...

And it's hurting me too and I can't bear this pain ..." and my tears started making their way...

"I was just mad at the situation, I am sorry Dear, I never means those words, it just I can't see you hurt and when I saw you hurt I lost my mind, Uea ".. I was not sure is he there or I lost him before as I didn't get any response from last almost half an hour....

******************

"Uea, you want me to leave, will your not stopped me If I leave ..

Uea you know I really want to be with you.... You know, still I hope you will stopped me, you will call me by my name..

I really hoped, you will stopped me Uea"..

Uea doesn't told me to leave...So there is no question to stopping me...

But I myself don't know for what I said those words, from what I want him to stop me...

For today when I accusing him or for those days when I went to those meetings with Ira...

The only thing I know, in both the situation I want him to stopped me...

But thinking of that time when I left him alone for my so called dates with Ira, suddenly I feel urge of explaining him every thing..

*******************

"Uea, did you remember, I told you my mom arranged a date for me, she want me to go...

In the restaurant I ask you, what you want, you want me to go or not..." He nodded his head in affirmation...

It make my heart beat a little more stable as he started responding... I keep continuing...

"I was really shattered that day because of your no response, I was hopping you will stopped me, I really thought, but when you didn't I thought you want me to go, you don't care about us..

Still, I keep waiting for you to told me to cancel, but you never, Uea...

I thought you never accept me, you don't care about me, you don't care about us, for you am just your bed mate....

But trust me Uea my heart is not ready to accept that, it's not ready to believe that you don't care, you were unaffected with my arrange dates...

I have a feeling of hurting you, I want you to fight with me for hurting you... But you were behaving nonchalant....

I was frustrated, I was feeling helpless...

Then this Krit arrived, he always try to approaching you, always looking at you with greed making me more frustrated..

I was really worried for you, you remember how many time I told you not to go to his cabin alone, and refused his offers.. Becouse I was scared that he will do something this, what he try to do today...." I finally reveling everything today there is no point to hide anything today.. I don't know about tomorrow,

I will have this chance or not...

So today am not gonna hold myself back from revailing my heart to him...

"Uea, today also I lost my mind because I was scared, I was scared that he hurt you and he did that only, Uea I don't know about your feelings but I can't see if someone hurt you. It's doesn't matter you want me to stay or leave, But I care for you, I always do".... I stopped to catch my breath again...

"King!!!" My name from Uea's mouth feel so enchantical, for a moment I thought I was hallucinating....

"I..I didn't want you to go, I never want you to go, but as our agreement we can't stop anyone of us from fi..finding a par...partner...

And soon we found some one we stopped our engagements on bed....

How could I stop you then, I ca..can't... I..
I.. was n..not in position to stop you.." Uea sudden confession made my world stop for some moment..

"Yes King, I don't..I don't want you to go, but It was already decided, we.. we can't stop each other from leaving, and..and I don't have any rights to stop..stop you.. do..do I have any rights??" he complete his sentence with great difficulty in a very low and timid voice because of his hevey breathing and weak physical condition...

But by his words hope started spending all over me, giving me a huge relief, may be he still wants me want us...

"Yes, you do, you do my dear, you have every right to do that..

If any one has that right, it's you only..

Uea, am sorry dear for everything I have done, I shouldn't let those date continued more than once ..am sorry baby I shouldn't cancel our trip...

I shouldn't leave you there in department alone today, am sorry, please forgive me dear, it my fault that you got hurt every time..sorry Dear".. I try my best to make him calm and comforting him...

*******************

"Uea, do you mind if I touch you?? atlist let me hold your hand please..." Am  worried for his health, I don't know how long he can stand but I don't want do anything which will tigared him again so I ask for his permission...

I just want to take him in my arm but can't take risk at this points I don't know how he gonna react..

I saw him hesitating...

"It's ok, you can say no, Uea,".. without saying any he just uplifted his gaze..

"Uea, trust me, am telling you again, today what ever I have done that is because I was worried for you at the same time I was jealous, insecure and possessive, and loses my clam, I know I had this anger issues and jealousy and prosesiveness...am sorry".. he staring at me with questionable eyes.....

"Uea, I want to tell you something for a long time..

Latly I was thinking to put the end of our bed thing at some point..." he gonna say something but I stopped him

"Let me finish first, then you decide what to do next..

I was thinking to stopped this becouse this relationship of us is more to me..

You are more to me than bed-mate or someone to giving me pressure by fulfilling my physical desire.." he look at me confused eyes, I gave him a soft smirked..

"God I really bad at this, I never thought am gonna tell you all like this..

I mean like this situation... aahh....

Uea!! Ahh.. why is so hard for me.. ok..

Uea!!

I.. I actually..

I think..

no, I mean,

I actually,

I started,

No, I already..

YES Uea, I alrady fallen in LOVE with you...

Honestly, I am in love with you.. I love you Uea,

I love you..." finally I confess my feelings to him.. I know my confession is very sudden...

There was a mixed emotions in his eyes

They ware hurt besides being confound

There were kinda in disbelief but at the same point of a time those eyes wanna believe on my word...

They are scarching for confirmation about what he just heard...

I can't blame him for that, my confessions was so sudden that may be he would not get time to register what just happened here..

"Yes, Uea.. it's long time that I am in love with you, I always have a feeling for you, from when I first saw you in that bar..

And then I don't know when it's changed in liking then when you become my everything.." I tries my best to conform my word again for him, for my Love my Uea...

"King!!".. As he try to move forward to cover the distance between us but due the exsortion and weakness he lost his balance and about to hit the floor...

"Hey, Uea.. carefull !!!"...I hold his hand tight and pull him in my embrace like my life depends on him (actually right, my life depends on him only) before he hit the ground, he doesn't prostate this time rather he leaves all his wait onto me...

Today I almost lost him but now I found him back again...

His expression changed his body wait is now relaxing on me as the exsortion took over him..

His eyes alrady gave me the conformation of his returning...

But his realization may be still pending.

It's ok, I am not in hurry I know, its just matter of time when he will realize his feelings till then I will wait for him..

I will wait for him still our last breath..

For now I just hold my world my Uea into my arm and keep stroking his back up and down to comforting him he is still severing...

"Uea!! Come,let's go, it's alrady quite late now, your place or you want to come on mine, baby please say"..he didn't answer, just stay in my arm keeping his eyes closed, he is fully exhausted by the time.. so I decided to take the call....

"Let's go to your place haa, I really missed you nong Uea and your little nest"... I was eagerly waiting for his answer..

"Hmm!!" ... his answer was short when I support him to walk to our destination, to our home, together...

But I didn't know that night was not ended yet...It's gonna be a long and dark one...

Then we left, the sky started being grumpy, it's look like, it's gonna be rain tonight....