Resting my hand on the stained glass panel on the door I pushed it open, walking into the foyer littered with shoes carelessly strewn about. The moment I had seen the front door ajar I had known something was wrong, and that kept me from calling out or announcing my presence.

The television was on in the family room though no one sat on the white leather couches that faced it. Plates and teacups with a floral pattern I had always adored were piled up in the sink of the kitchen, yet to be washed.

I climbed up the stairs, trailing my fingers over the scratches that littered the wooden bannister. Some just about the width of my own fingers spread wide and others larger but all deep and painful looking, laced with a brilliant red slowly drying into the wood and turning brown.

As I reached the top of the stairs I saw the master bedroom door thrown wide open revealing the bed to be unmade, sheets hanging off and fallen to the floor. I walked past it to the next room, pushing the door open to an empty office, the only room in the house that seemed to have been tidied. The wooden desk bare with the exception of a small globe that sat on it, large comfortable looking leather chair pushed in. The shelf in the corner lined with books in alphabetical order.

Ignoring the door I knew led to an empty bathroom I walked to the very end of the hall to the last room. I twisted the door handle pushing it open to reveal the room I had spent most of my time in while in this house. My eyes flew to the bed, seeing the light grey sheets stained a deep red. Following the trail of red with my eyes to the sight of a man laying on the floor in the corner of the room beneath the only window, unmoving. His long limbs bent in odd angles around his body.

His unseeing eyes seemingly looking right at me. Lips coated in red, parted as though unmoved from when he had drawn his last breath. Throat slashed to ribbons, tendons and blood spilling out onto the floor. Beside him lay both of his parents, their necks twisted grotesquely. My gaze rose to the window seeing a pair of glinting red eyes flashing back at me making me gasp.

I jerked awake gasping, bolting upright to get as far away from the dreamland in which I had witnessed such horrors. Clenching my hair in my fists I tried to get the sight of my dead fiancé and his parents out of my mind. I yanked until my scalp burned and my eyes watered from the pain. An anguished scream slipping past my lips as no matter how hard I pulled my hair his unseeing eyes and torn open throat were all I could see, the pain providing no distraction.

The door was suddenly slammed open making me jump. I opened my eyes to the unwelcome sight of the Alpha in the doorway rushing towards me.

"Get out." I said through gritted teeth, fighting to regulate my pounding heart and reign in the tears that threatened to fall from my burning eyes.

"Mate what's wrong?" He asked, reaching his hand out to touch me. I jerked away violently making him freeze.

"Get the fuck out." I repeated turning to glare at him with all the venom I could muster. The fear of knowing how easily this man could turn my dream into a reality should he ever find out about what had happened over the visit to my parent's house, giving rise to the flame of burning hatred I already felt for him.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong with you." The Alpha said, crossing his arms over his chest and straightening up to his full height so he towered over me.

"You. You're what's wrong with me, leave me alone and I'll be fine."

I sniffled loudly, pulling my legs up to my chest and crossing my arms over them in attempt to control my violent trembling. My words were as much the truth as they were a lie, I wouldn't be okay until I saw Ethan. Until I looked into his eyes and saw them full of life, checked him over to find him intact and unharmed. Heard him reassure me himself that he was alright and that his parents were too. However that wasn't even in the realm of possibilities and so I would have to settle for the meager comfort of not seeing the man that posed the greatest threat to my fiancé's life.

"You're lying. Tell me the truth."

"It's not a lie, I'll always be better off without you. Just leave me be." I said, knowing I was provoking him but uncaring.

His chest rumbled with a barely restrained growl and I could see him digging his extended claws into his arms. He inhaled and exhaled deeply before speaking as though trying to calm himself.

"Tell me what the problem is. I can't help you unless you tell me."

I only scoffed in response, not even deigning to give him a glance.

"I'm your mate, I'd do anything to make you happy. Now tell me what it is." He said, making my control snap at him daring to mention my happiness when all he had ever done was hurt me.

"I want to see my fiancé. That's my problem. Now tell me will you bring him to me?" I said, turning to look him in the eyes as I spoke. Watching him stiffen at my words in surprise and the red begin to bleed into the whisky brown of his eyes until they glinted as they did in my dream. His breathing grew laboured, broad chest rising and falling as he began to tremble the way I did.

In the blink of an eyes his clawed hands were wrapping around my upper arms and hauling me up from the bed crashing me into his chest. A startled gasp escaped me before I glanced up to meet his red gaze focused so intently on me, a violent shiver running down my spine at the murderous rage in his eyes.

"You dare to mention that brat in front of me?" He asked in a deep guttural growl lifting me up closer to his face.

"Is this how you repay me after I took you to visit your parents and tolerated their disrespect towards me for your sake? I could have ripped off your father's head for the way he spoke to me and no one would have dared said a word in protest."

The fight drained out of me at his words. I went slack in his grasp at the reminder of what he could do to my loved ones if I pushed him far enough.

"Tell me Athena should I bring you that brat's head? Would that comfort you my mate?" He gritted out. I shook my head frantically, tears streaming down my face and filling my eyes so fast his face became a mere tan blur with glinting red dots.

"Don't touch him. Don't you dare touch him." I sobbed, my words implying a strength I feared I didn't possess. In reality I was pleading with him. My head drooped down in defeat and I let it, uncaring that my forehead was now pressed against his chest.

"I was merciful enough to let him live that day though he had held what was mine in his arms as though you belonged to him. The scent of him was all over you, in your hair, on your clothes, on your skin. The days that you've been here refusing to give me a place in your heart because he still occupies it I have done nothing to him as punishment and yet you dare ask me to bring him to you?"

His hands clenched around my arms, tightening their hold painfully forcing me to lift my head and meet his burning gaze.

"Please don't do anything to him. Please." I begged bringing up a shaky hand and resting it on the side of his face hesitantly, cupping his cheek gently hoping my touch would appease him.

He inhaled sharply, stiffening up in surprise, his gaze dropping down to look at where my hand cradled his face.

"Please." I repeated breathily.

"I can't stand to hear you mention him. To hear you call him your fiancé makes me want to tear him apart with my bare hands. Burn down his remains so that no evidence of his having ever existed can be found."

"I won't mention him again. Please don't hurt him." I promised hurriedly, pulling away my hand only for him to catch it with one of his own to keep it pressed against his cheek, adjusting his hold on me so that he kept me against his chest with his other arm wrapped tightly around my waist.

"Don't move." He ordered, twisting us around so that his back was to the bed before he sat down on it carefully. Pulling me down along so that I was perched on his lap. Every muscle in my body tensed, a flight instinct reminiscent of that night igniting within me. His hands on me softened from restraining to merely holding me though that did little to help.

"You're mine Athena. I need you to be mine. I'd go mad without you, I've waited my entire life for you. I can't lose you, stop making me afraid I will." He said, gently stroking his thumbs across my cheeks to wipe the tears from them. His claws detracting to reveal his nails as his fingers trailed over my skin.

His words filled me with a grief different to the one I'd felt earlier. This one much more selfish, all for me. The way he looked at me promised that he would never willingly let me go, and should I escape he would never give up trying to find me. Even if I managed to get away from him I would have to be on the run constantly, afraid that he would catch up to me, and what he would do once he did. How far he would go to ensure I stayed by his side.

I pulled my hand away from his face but he caught it, holding it tightly to his chest so that I could feel the pounding of his heart against the back of my hand. I turned my head to stare down at my hand caught in his, unable to bear looking into his eyes any longer.

"I thought taking you to see your parents would make you happy, that it would make you forgive me but instead it seems to have made you miss every aspect of your life before me, including him."

"There's no forgiveness for what you did." I said, not even bothering to deny what he had said about me missing my life before him. 

"I know what I did was unforgiveable but Athena I can't give you up.  I can only promise that it will never happen again. Please forgive me so that we can move past this." He pleaded, staring me straight in the eyes with a look in his own I didn't think he was capable of. It reminded me eerily of the guilty puppy dog eyes of a dog that had done something wrong.

"Why can't you? I'm not a good fit for you, you could find someone who would be so much better for you and your pack. Most importantly someone who wants to be with you."

"You're my mate, it has to be you Athena. I'll never want anyone else. No one is a better fit for me and this pack than you, you were made for me."

"If this were all destined by fate, if I was made for you then don't you think that maybe I'd want you?" I asked, pushing to get out of his lap but he kept me restrained by the arm he had wrapped around my waist, punishing me for my efforts and perhaps for my words by pulling me even closer. So close I could smell his spicy sweet scent, feel the warm puffs of his warm minty breath on my cheek as I turned my face away.

"Don't say that. Don't say that you don't want me, it hurts. Right here." He said, flattening the palm of my hand that he held within his over his beating heart.

"You will want me. We are destined to be together, that is how mates work. That boy got in the way so it's taking you time to accept this."

"Is that what you think? That I hate you because-"

I was cut off by him slamming his lips onto mine effectively silencing me and keeping me from finishing my sentence. I struggled against him, my words of protest muffled by his lips as he moved them over mine, angling his head so that he could kiss me deeply. Pulling me even closer, his hand grabbing onto my hip and massaging it.

"Don't Athena." He breathed against my lips as he finally pulled away leaving me gasping for air and fighting to get away from him. I pushed against him, slamming one of my hands down against his throat in my struggle as I tried with all my might to get off of him. He grabbed both my wrists in his hands with ease, twisting me around so that I was sat immobile on his lap with my back facing him, my wrists crossed over my chest.

"Don't hate me please. I'll do anything to get you to forgive me." He said fiercely, face pressed against the side of mine, his chin resting on my shoulder. The warm gust of his breath blowing tendrils of my hair as he spoke.

"Besides letting you go or taking you to see that human boy." He added hastily as I turned the miniscule amount I could in his hold to look him in the eye.

"You ask forgiveness for sexually assaulting me while forcefully kissing me?" I panted out, struggling against his hold on me but not able to move even an inch.

"I can't stand to hear you say that you hate me. You're my mate, you of all people cannot hate me, you can't." He said, startling me as he suddenly rested his forehead on my back. It was a move uncharacteristic of him, it felt almost defeated, inferior in a way when before he had only ever been proud and steadfast.

"Athena please forgive me. I have never begged anyone in my life for anything, but I'm begging you."

"If you want forgiveness you'll have to earn it." I told him carefully, his words and actions making my mind race a mile a minute as I realized how important it was for me to take advantage of this state of his.

"Anything, I'll do anything." He promised solemnly. I tried quickly to think of all I wanted that wouldn't step over the limitations he had set for me in a way obvious to him.

"I want weekly visits to see my family."

"Done." He said immediately.

"I'm not finished." I said, irritation bubbling up within me at having been interrupted.

"I want a phone so that I can contact my family whenever I want."

"I can't give you a phone because I'm worried you'll contact that boy."

"But I can give you my phone to use whenever you'd like to talk to your family." He added after seeing me about to protest to his first statement.

"Fine. I also want you to leave me alone and not hover around me all the time." I demanded, just barely able to see his face from the corner of my eye but the expression on his face gave away how skeptical he was of this last condition.

"It's difficult for me not to be around you all the time. I want to be around you every moment of every day, to see you, to touch you, to be able to smell your scent. All wolves feel this urge and it's quelled slightly by marking your mate so until I mark you there is only so much space I can give you, but I'll try."

I sighed, this was my second condition he had modified but I didn't know how much to push. I was afraid of unknowingly crossing a boundary and losing the grounds I had gained.

"But if I do all this, will you forgive me?" He asked making me freeze. The worst thing about werewolves - and there were so many terrible things - was that you could not lie to them, they would always know.

"I'll try. If you do this and do not ever force yourself on me, that includes kissing and forcibly holding me down the way you are now, then I will try to move past what you did."

"I wanted you to forgive me now but if the promise of you trying is all I can get, then I'll take it. I need to be close to you though, you don't understand how badly I want to touch you all the time. I need to hold you or I fear I'll go mad."

"Every time you touch me it reminds me of that night. It makes me sick and so scared I can't even think."

The words were an admission of weakness I didn't want to share with him, but I couldn't keep going as I had been. Something had to change for me to ever have any hope of getting away from him, and the only factor I had control over, was me.

My wrists were released from his hold, my arms dropping down to my sides slowly as he pulled away, allowing me to push off his lap and turn to face him. Sitting on the bed with a foot of space between us.

"I know Athena, I can smell and see how scared you get every time I so much as come near enough to touch you. We can start off slow, just sit next to me and hold my hand for now."

Placing my hand into a boiling vat of oil sounded more appealing than holding his hand but I nodded nonetheless.

"Please stop holing yourself up in this room. You're making yourself sick, walk around the house, we can even go out into the yard if you want."

"Can we go now?" I asked, glancing outside to see the sun high up in the sky, the very prospect of feeling its warmth against my skin making me feel marginally better about sitting here on this bed with him.

"If you want." He said.

"Let's go." I answered, scooting off the bed and getting up, heading for the door without looking back at him.

"Take a jacket, it's too cold for you to be out like that." He said, gesturing to the light pink button up fleece pyjamas I wore.

"I don't want to, I'll be fine." I said, challenging him with my eyes to say something after all that bullshit about wanting my forgiveness.

Something sparked in his eyes at the clear challenge, his shoulders tensing but he took in a slow deep breath, nodding as he exhaled.

I turned back towards the door to hide my smile. It felt good to win even if it were such a miniscule victory.

I walked down the stairs and down the hall to the glass doors that led out to the backyard. Struggling with the lock until I heard a throat being cleared behind me.

"Let me." He said, stepping forward and crowding into my space making me back away instantly not wanting him so close.

"Put those on." He demanded, pointing down at the shoes I hadn't even noticed him dropping on the ground before me, a pair of black sneakers already on his feet. Werewolf speed was unrivalled, especially that of an Alpha. I slipped my feet into the flats he had dropped before me waiting for him to open the door.

He pushed the lock down with ease, sliding the door open and then stepped aside to let me through. Apparently even his locks were freakishly strong like him but I didn't care to dwell on that when the lovely picture the yard made seemed to be beckoning me. The leaves fluttered around gently in the wind, creating just enough sound to reassure me this wasn't a mirage. The dew on the grass made it sparkle invitingly in the sunlight.

I walked out with my face raised towards the sky, feeling the sun's warmth making every tense muscle in my body go lax. The wind was crisp and cool, brushing against my sleep warm skin and leaving it cold, the autumn sun not enough to warm me again but this chill was refreshing. Nothing like the sickly cold I felt when holed up in that room, not having eaten or moved for hours.

The wind picked up suddenly blowing my hair back over my shoulders and even making my loose pyjamas billow backwards until they were pressed to my very shape. I took in a deep even breath, letting the cold air fill my lungs. Barely just exhaling it out before I was greedily breathing in the fresh smell of autumn again.

I stood there staring out at the far off trees trying my best to stay right there in that moment and not let the memory of the time I had run off into that forest ruin this for me long past when my legs began to ache. I could feel his eyes on me, but chose to be grateful for the fact that he didn't approach rather than let it bother me that he was watching.

I had to find ways to be happy or my sadness would drive me mad. I had to stay sane and find a way out for all of those I loved. To one day again be able to enjoy peaceful moments like this with them. I had spent weeks feeling sorry for myself, allowing myself to feel the deepest grief I had ever experienced but if I ever wanted it to end I couldn't keep grieving.

I sank down into the grass, sitting down and crossing my legs, looking at the sun once more before closing my eyes with my face upturned towards the sky. One day I would look at that sun again and it would be far away from here, so far he wouldn't be able to watch me as I watched the sun. For the sake of that day I remained still as I felt him settle down beside me on the ground, only a hair's breadth away. I resisted the urge to move away and pushed down the irritation that crept up for that one day.

Author's Note---------------

Hello my lovelies! I'm so sorry for my very long absence but I've been very busy and just have not gotten the chance to write much. This chapter is only roughly edited but I was afraid if I didn't post it now my time would get swept up in assignments and I wouldn't get to it till Christmas. I will most likely come back to this chapter and make a few changes once I get the chance.

I hope you all are safe, well and happy. Enjoy a chapter of this dark book on your Halloween, may this holiday season be joyous for us all. I love and have missed you all, thank you to all those that checked in on me and those that have not given up on this book yet. Have a great night!