Trigger Warning: Mentions of sexual assault. Please do not read if such topics make you uncomfortable.

Rousing consciousness slowly made me aware of each ache and stinging sensation that covered my body. My entire form sore, a bone deep kind of pain that made me wish I hadn't woken yet.

My eyes stung as I forced them open, the bright light filtering in through the window irritating my sensitive eyes terribly.

"You're up." A deep voice said, making me tense up. My heart set off in my chest even as I remained immobile, flashes of glowing red eyes, restraining hands and sharp canines returning to me from last night. The fact that I wore nothing but panties beneath the blanket that was draped over me only making me feel more vulnerable.

He sat at the foot of the bed, watching me with those eyes that had been hungry and lusty even as I wept beneath him, now filled with remorse. A wave of helplessness so overpowering washed over me that it had my hands trembling. Despite what had happened last night here I was waking to my captor, locked away in a home with him with no one to protect me, no one to tell, no one to stop him if he chose to finish what he started last night.

His straight nose twitched slightly before he lowered his eyes to the blanket around me, suddenly unable to meet my gaze.

"I'll uh- get you some breakfast." He said, looking hesitant to leave but rising up from the bed nonetheless.

As soon as the door was closed after him I swung off the blanket, forcing myself to get up out of the bed. My legs and feet ached as though I'd run a marathon without any preparation, and though I had no idea how much distance I had covered on foot last night, there was no way I had been in the shape to go that far. The soles of my feet hurt so much I almost wanted to collapse back into bed just to keep them from touching the floor, but I wanted to be dressed when he returned more than I cared to not be in pain.

My stiff legs forced me to limp all the way to the closet, grabbing the first couple articles of clothing I could get my hands on and then making my way to the washroom, closing the door after me.

I had only just set the clothing on the counter when I caught sight of my reflection. Hysteria bubbling up within me at the horrific sight. A sharp inhale of breath catching in my throat. 

My eyes were bloodshot and puffy, bottom lip torn and starting to scab, a streak of dried blood crusted against my chin. My entire body was littered with bruises, my shaking hands hovered above them, no space for me to be able to rest a hand without touching a bruise. Neck covered in painful looking hickeys, the skin as red as it was purple looking as though just a feather light touch would make them bleed.

My chest was no better, hickeys and bite marks littered my breasts, all over my collarbone and chest, four angry red lines from where his claws had torn my skin as he hauled me out of that taxi going right up the centre. Hand marks imprinted on the skin of my hips and waist, varying shades of blue yellow and purple. My thighs colored with marks, fingerprints all along the inside of them. My wrists an angry mix of red and purple where his handprint was etched into the swollen skin.

My legs gave out under me and I slumped down to the cold bathroom floor. Sore eyes welling up with tears though my body felt as though someone had wrung out all the moisture. I stared blankly at the dark cabinets in my line of sight, grateful to be unable to see my reflection.

Everything that had happened last night was etched into my brain, the pain, the terror, the desperation, and yet there was something about seeing the evidence of what had taken place that solidified it, made it undeniable. You couldn't run from something you carried with you on your very being, it would take days for these wounds to heal.

Tears slipped down my cheeks at the thought of having to see the remnants of what had happened to me last night even once more. I wanted to erase them all, every single mark he had left on me, every single trace of his touch that lingered on my skin. I raised my hand, a suffocating feeling building up in my chest as I saw the dried blood caked beneath my fingertips. His blood.

I forced myself up and into the shower, turning the water on to the hottest setting. The water freezing as it first turned on making me tense up but I didn't care to move away from the onslaught of unbearable cold. It turned warm, getting increasingly hot until it began to feel like it was burning. I stood still even as the scalding water poured down against all my cuts and bruises making them sting more than they already did.

I reached shakily for the body wash pouring it out all over me and scrubbing furiously at my skin as a lather began to form. Clawing at it when the skin remained colored with the marks he had left on me even after I had scrubbed it so vigorously. Blood welled up on my wrists, mixing in the soapy lather turning it a light pink. I added more soap all over myself until it was all covered by a mix of white and pink lather, the color of my skin let alone the marks indiscernible beneath it.

A despaired wail escaped me as the soap washed away beneath the water revealing the bruises once again, as dark as they had been in my reflection. The rest of my skin pink and raw from my rough treatment of it.

I dropped the body wash uncaring as it dripped out into the tub, globs of it being washed away with the water down the drain. I slumped forward tiredly, crying harder than I had from the moment I'd been brought into this god forsaken cage. Allowing the sobs to wrack through me and echo against the walls, uncaring of how loud they were. They ripped up my chest, anguished and guttural, nearly animalistic and nothing like any sound I had ever made before, but I couldn't stop them.

My hands came up to grip at my hair, tugging on it as memories of his hands on my skin replayed until it was as though I could still feel them despite the hot water beating down on me. I froze as I remembered his large hands patting my hair as he held me close after he had finally stopped. Gritting my teeth at the memory of myself cowardly laying there in the arms of the man that had hurt me just moments before. Seeking comfort from the monster that had hurt me.

I grabbed up the shampoo wanting to wash off the trace of the gentle caresses, the memory of them filling me with a rage the other marks had failed to. The attacker comforting the victim as they still bled and their bruises from the assault slowly darkened.

I rubbed the shampoo into my hair, forcing my fingers through the wild array of tangles to get it all through every strand of hair on my head. Placing it back only to grab the face wash, rubbing it onto my face, thoroughly scrubbing at my lips where he had pressed forceful kisses even as I struggled to breathe through my panic.

The water washed away all traces of shampoo and face wash yet I couldn't bring myself to move. I didn't want to go out there knowing what awaited me. The thought of being near him again filled me with as much disgust as it did fear. It felt like I carried a part of him on me with the way he had imprinted his touch all over me, and to have to face him after all that was the most cruel of all.

Spending another second in his presence seemed unbearable, I couldn't do it, but the memories of what happened when I tried to get away were too fresh for me to even consider rebellion of any kind. It was the thought of him coming in here to see me in this state that forced me to shut off the water. Toweling myself off and pulling on the clothes I had brought in.

The pants were easy enough, but the sweater was his. A plain black hoodie that still smelled faintly of him. Everything here did. But I had no choice, it was either this or go out before him bare and the idea of that was much more sickening than enduring his scent on me for the rest of the day. His marks were all over me as it was, what more was his scent?

I stared at  the door, my hair dripping down the back of the hoodie, wetting it and making the material stick to my back, slowly draining the warmth the scorching shower had left on my skin. I couldn't go out there, I couldn't go out and sit on the bed that I'd been held down on last night. I couldn't eat a single morsel right now, let alone something that he had made for me. I couldn't just let him stare at me, talk to me or touch me.

I sank down against the wall, hugging my knees to my chest. Eyes welling up as I remembered all the times I had done this in my own home, locked myself in the bathroom and sat against the wall crying over something that seemed so mundane now. It seemed like another life in which I would cry over something as small as a bad day at work, or a fight with a friend. A life where I could afford to worry about such small things.

As I would cry, sniffling quietly hoping no one in the house would hear me, a soft knock would sound on the door. My mom's voice calling out my name gently, the hesitance in her tone increasing as I aged. She'd ask me to open the door, and eventually I would, but not before wiping my tears, foolishly thinking my swollen eyes and red nose wouldn't give me away.

Her features would twist sympathetically as she looked at me, and she would open up her arms to me, allowing me to sink into her soft warm embrace. Arms gently closing in around me, one hand petting my hair as she just quietly held me, letting me sob into her chest. Not saying a word till I would quiet down.

I tightened my hold on my knees, hugging them as tightly as I could in a poor imitation of the hug I craved. I wanted so badly to be held that way again, gently in her warm embrace. The soothing feeling of her hand running down my hair and back. Her chest moving up and down steadily with each breath, urging me to do the same. Her sweet jasmine scent filling my senses lulling me into a calmer state.

I huddled into the hoodie, feeling so cold sitting there on the hard bathroom floor. The type of cold that sank into your very joints, chilling you from the very top of your head down to your toes. Something no amount of layers of clothing could fix, a chill that could only be chased away by the caring embrace of someone who loved you.

A sob caught in my throat as I wished desperately for my mother to be here, to hold me close and soothe the pain away. To warm me up and rid me of the lingering sensation of his rough touch with her gentle hand. For her to tell me everything would be okay, to protect me from the monster that waited just outside the door.

A cold feeling bloomed within my chest at the realization that no one could protect me, no one could help me. No one would be he here to hold me and quieten my cries after he hurt me. No one to whisk me away from him, no one who I could tell how scared I was. No one who could make me feel less alone. There was only me in this cage, and the predator that had locked me up within it.

"Are you done?" He asked through the door, making me jolt violently, not having heard him approach. I dug my nails into my palms to still my trembling hands, pulling my knees in closer to my chest wanting to sink into the wall behind me. Disappear so he would never be able to find me.

"Please come out."

I stared up at the door, at the absence of a lock on the door knob. He could just swing it open to get to me. It was almost cruel the way he stood just outside, calling out so I would know he's there without anyway to stop him from coming in.

Every part of me ached terribly, I had no fight in me but my body didn't seem to understand that as my adrenaline surged, hands shaking no matter how I tried to still them, teeth beginning to chatter.

"Athena you need to eat."

I slapped my palms over my ears, wishing he would just go away.  He had no shame, how he could speak to me in that gentle coaxing tone after what he had done last night was beyond me.

"I'm coming in." He said, my breath catching in my throat as I scrambled to get away from the door. It swung open, and I squeezed my eyes shut tightly wishing to be anywhere but there in that moment as I felt him near me. Jumping as large hands settled down tentatively on my shoulders, pulling away at my violent reaction.

"Just come eat, I won't touch you." He breathed out quietly. I opened my eyes to see him crouching down before me, those whiskey eyes focused intently on me.

I straightened up, using the wall for support to help me stand, watching him as he followed suit. Keeping his body half turned towards me as he walked out the bathroom into the room, making sure I was following and noticeably wincing at the limp in my walk.

The sheets of the bed were changed, the blanket too, and atop the neatly folded new blanket sat a tray of breakfast, much like the ones from my first couple days here. I could barely feel anything over the pain of my bruises and the pounding of my heart but the thought of eating anything sickened me.

"I brought you painkillers, but you need to eat something to take them." He said, pulling out a bottle from the pocket of the sweatpants he wore.

I stood silently staring at the bed, wondering what it had looked like before he had changed the sheets. How much of the mess on them had been my blood, and how much the dirt and sweat on me after my long trek through that forest? How much, if any had been his blood? Though the sheets were changed the old ones were all I could see in my mind as I looked at the bed. I never wanted to go near it again.

"Athena?" He called out gingerly as I stood there unresponsively.

"Don't." I croaked out as he made a move to come towards me, my voice hoarse and even the one word painful to force out.

"Mate I-I'm sorry for what I did, but it'll never happen again, I promise. Please don't be so afraid of me."

"How could I not?" I asked so softly had he not been a werewolf there was no way he would have heard, whether I wanted him to or nor I didn't know.

"What happened last night was a mistake, I lost control of my wolf. The wolf was so angry when we realized what you had done, and his rage is beastly, you wouldn't understand it. I couldn't think, I felt like I couldn't breathe through the fear of losing you and the anger that you would do such a thing. I just knew I had to find you and keep you by my side, show you that you were mine." He pushed his hair back off his forehead as he spoke, the movement making me jolt as his hand raised and his jaw clenched at the sight.

"I never wanted to hurt you or to force myself on you, that wasn't my intention, you have to understand that." He pleaded, crossing the bed in a few quick strides. My much slower reactions only allowing me to stumble back a single step as he stopped right before me.

"Please just leave me alone." I whispered, feeling as cornered as I had last night, all alone in his house, in his room with no one who would even want to help me for miles out and not a single person who truly could.

"Just eat something so you can take these pills and then I'll go. The smell of your pain is driving me insane. It's like something is clawing at my insides, I can't take it."

I glanced furtively from him to the tray, more than willing to force myself to eat if it meant him leaving me alone but unable to bring myself to take a single step closer to him so I could grab anything. He seemed to take notice of my plight and stepped back so I could get to the food without getting any closer to him.

I grabbed hold of the large glass filled with a thick pinkish purple smoothie, unable to keep my hands from trembling making some of the liquid slosh out and spill down the sides of the cup onto my hand. I brought it up to my lips, taking a small sip, forcing myself to swallow it down even as it burned my sore throat.

He watched me intently as I took small sips of the smoothie, afraid I may throw it all back up if I tried to gulp it down. I had drank nearly half of it under his watch before he finally unscrewed the lid off the bottle, shaking out two little red pills and holding them out to me on his palm.

I glanced up at him, wishing he would just set them down somewhere so I could take them without touching him but unwilling to speak to him to ask. My heartrate picked up as I forced myself to take a step towards him, reaching out to grab the pills from his outstretched palm. A violent shiver running down my spine as the very tips of my fingers brushed his heated skin making me loose grip on the glass sending it crashing to the floor. The glass shattered, shards going flying all around as the smoothie spilled out across the dark hardwood.

"Fuck Athena are you okay?" The Alpha asked, reaching out for my arm but I pulled away out of his reach, about to take a step back but before I could he had covered the distance between us and scooped me up into his arms.

I gasped sharply barely registering what had happened before he had deposited me onto the bed. Instantly I scrambled away from him to the very edge, panting as I stared up at him with wide eyes, shocked that he would do such a thing just moments after all the bullshit he had spewed about being apologetic.

"There's glass everywhere, I didn't want you to step on it." He explained, holding his hands up in a placating gesture.

"I'm gonna get a mop, please just stay there, I don't want you getting hurt."

He turned and left after giving me a meaningful look that was the watered down version of the way he usually glared when he wanted me to do as told.

I held my hand over my chest over my racing heart, wishing for it to stop pounding as though I were on the verge of a panic attack. My entire being was far too tired to cope with having another.

I glanced down at the floor where the smoothie had spilled, brows furrowing at the crimson liquid in the middle of the mess of glass and smoothie. Tracks of the crimson littered across the floor growing fainter as they approached the door.

I didn't know how to feel as I realized it was his blood, it brought no satisfaction to me to know he was hurt. This wasn't even close to what he had put me through, I wanted him to suffer much more than this. I wanted the proud look on his face to twist into anguish before me, but more than that I wanted never to see him again. I wanted to be so far from him that I'd forget how he looked, and slowly forget him altogether. Leave him behind like the beastly creature of a night terror he was.