On Purpose


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This takes place about a month after Maya's Q&A but the flashback takes place right before her Q&A.

On Purpose

Maya raked her fingers through her husband's hair as he laid with his eyes closed and his head resting in her lap as the two relaxed on their couch with the television playing softly in the background.

"Josh?"

"Mmphmm?" he said, keeping his eyes closed but pulling her closer and burying his head further into her stomach.

"How would you feel if we were to have a baby?"

Josh sat up quickly and turn his body to face his wife, making sure she knew he had her full attention. "Are you pregnant?"

Maya's eyes went wide, stun. "What? No," she answered, shaking her head. "I'm not pregnant."

Josh let out a breath of relief but could quickly see his wife was hoping this discussion was going to go another way then he wanted it to, "But you want to be."

Maya remained quiet as his words really sunk in. Did she really want to be pregnant? "I don't know," she shrugged. "Part of me thinks about it," she admitted, softly. "I guess being around Riley and her kids gives me all of these thoughts about us and a baby and what if we had one."

Josh nodded, "It's okay you got baby fever," he stated, shrugging, understanding how she could get baby fever being around Penny and Aussie. He pulled her close to him as she adjusted her body to wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms loosely around his shoulders. "I have no doubt in my mind if we had to and I mean if we had to we could handle having a baby but having a baby right now would change everything," he began, softly, running his thumb across her cheek as he stared intensely into her eyes. "Things we aren't ready to change and don't have to change because we don't have a baby. I love it's still just the two of us," he stressed the last three words. "And the two of us can do whatever we want when we want and not have to worry about a baby and maybe it's me being selfish but I love I don't have to share you because it's just the two of us," he told her getting a small smile out of her. "I'm not ready right now to share you or have the responsibility of taking care of a baby and everything that comes a long with it. We would have to move and we just signed our apartment renewal and I still have one semester of school left and I would like to really get my foot out there in the work world before even thinking about bringing a baby in the world and think about it if we were to have a baby this would change your YouTube channel. Yes, people like those pregnancies video things but would your main core subscribers? And what about once the baby comes? And that brings up a whole new thing," he continued to list as Maya continued to digest all of his words. "The baby, I don't know how comfortable I am with you showing our baby constantly off on your channel or your Instagram. We have to think about our baby's safety once it comes because you are in the public eye. People recognize you and stop you and come up to you and I'm not saying you have to give up your career or anything when we do decide to have a baby but we will need to have a discussion about how much or how little you show our child."

Maya slowly nodded, pressing her lips together. She knew Josh made excellent points to why they shouldn't have a child any time soon.

"I wanna have a baby with you. I do," he assured her.

"Just not any day soon," she finished causing Josh to nod. "So for now I'll stay on my birth control until we are both ready."

Maya picked the test up, swallowing as the memory of the conversation she had with her husband just a short time ago flash through her head. She took a deep breath before looking down at the result and her heart dropping.

Positive.

She closed her eyes keeping her tears at bay the best as she could. Why couldn't this be stress like she was blaming it on? She walked into the kitchen grabbing a sandwich baggy before leaning against the counter as her mind raced. Her and Josh were having a baby. They just discussed why they shouldn't have a baby not even two months ago. Josh made it clear he didn't want children anytime soon. What if he thought she got pregnant on purpose? Her heart dropped further at the thought. He knew she had baby fever and there would be a huge possibility he thought she went behind his back and got pregnant.

She sighed, running her hand through her unruly hair as she walked back into the bathroom, picking up the test and putting it in the baggy and zipping up the lock. She sat down on the toilet, staring at the positive pregnancy test. "How the hell did this happen? I'm on birth control," she said to herself as she looked over birth control pills to see if she missed a day and not finding any. "Maybe it's a false positive," she hoped as she picked up her phone ready to schedule the first appointment she could get in to and was happy to hear the receptionist say if she could be there in a hour there was an opening. She quickly threw her hair in a messy bun and was off on her way.

XOXOXOXO

Maya quietly entered her apartment and a small smile came to her face as she watched her husband at the stove cooking. She watched as his own smile came to his face as he looked over his shoulder and spotted her when she came in.

"Hey, I wanted to surprise you with your favorite," he began, as he turned his attention back on his task as he stirred the meat around in the frying pan to face his wife, "What's wrong?" he asked, instantly picking up on the fact something was wrong.

Maya's eyes went wide for a quick second before she forced a smile and tried to act as normal as possible. "Nothing," she answered, shaking her head.

Josh frowned staring at his wife before taking the frying pan off of the heat and walking over to his wife.

Maya watched as Josh approached her, taking her hands into his.

"You'll come to me when you are ready?" he asked softly.

Maya stared in to his pleading eyes before slowly nodding as she felt her tears start to roll down her cheeks and bit her bottom lip to stop it from quivering as she felt herself start to lose control of her emotions.

"Maya," Josh breathed out, pulling Maya to him and wrapping his arms around her to hold her tight as she cried against his chest, her own arms holding onto him tightly. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

After a moment, Maya pulled away to stare in to her husband concern eyes,

"I am so thankful I have you," she began, shaky, closing her eyes for a second and shaking her head when Josh went to speak and comfort her before she began again, "You are the only thing that I have ever been sure of and you changed my life forever. I didn't think I could have this kind of life. Where I meet the guy of my dreams, actually get him, fall in love and then marry him and build a life together. I thought I was destined to find someone like Kermit and end up in a loveless marriage then a single mom just like my mom. I don't want mess this up. I don't want to ruin us-."

"Maya you can't-"

Maya shook head again, looking away from Josh and cutting him off softly. "I'm pregnant."

"What?" Josh gasped, his eyes wide as he wasn't sure if he heard right.

Maya swallowed, looking back at her shocked husband. "I'm pregnant," she repeated, a little louder but still soft. "I took a test and it came back positive so I went to the doctor's today and he confirmed it," she continued, slowly, before taking out the positive pregnant test in her purse and holding it to show him. "When I was sick I must of threw up my birth control or something because I've been taking them."

Josh stood still, stun as he stared at the positive pregnancy test.

Maya stared at her husband with fearful eyes when he said nothing, "Josh?" she murmured.

"I just need a second."

Maya's heart dropped as fear washed through her body. She slowly nodded before leaving Josh alone and heading up to their bedroom.

Josh closed his eyes, running his hand over his face at the sound of his wife walking up the stairs. "Damn," he cursed himself out as he rubbed his temple. He blew it. He knew he just had one of the worst reactions he could have had and made his wife's insecurities grow. He just needed five minutes he thought to himself as he began to pace. Five minutes for it to settle in he was becoming a father. Five minutes to come up with the perfect apology and approach to his wife to make everything better. He stopped, looking over at the stairs. Five minutes was too long. Five minutes would just make everything worst with that thought he instantly hurried to their bedroom to find his wife sitting up against the headboard with tears rolling down her cheeks. The sight broke his heart because he knew he was the one to cause it.

"I'm sorry," he told her, crawling up the bed next to her and wrapping his arms around her.

Maya looked at her husband, pressing her lips together.

"I'm sorry," Josh apologized again, wiping away some of her falling tears. "This is scary and unplanned and I don't know if I'm read-" he stopped himself when he saw the fear flash through his wife's eyes. "I'm not your father," he told her knowing exactly what was running through her mind.

Maya slowly nodded, "I know," she breathed out. "But you just admitted you're not ready, so, what are we going to do?" she asked, making Josh confused. "You don't want the baby," she continued, softly. "And I don't have to...we have options."

It was Josh's turn to feel his heart sink. His reaction was so bad, his wife didn't think he wanted their baby. Josh cupped Maya's cheeks and wiped away her fallen tears. He waited until she looked him in the eyes. "Maya, of course I want our baby," he breathed out with so much emotion. "I'm so sorry I made you question whether I would want our baby or not but I do. I'm not going anywhere. Not now. Not tomorrow. Not ever. I'm going to love you and this baby more than anything in the world," he finished, resting a hand on her stomach.

Maya looked down at Josh's hand before resting her hand on top of his, "Our world is about change forever."

Josh nodded, staring down at their hands before looking up at his wife, "For the better," he smiled.

Maya returned his smile as the two's thoughts went to how much the world was really about to change, "I don't want to tell anyone until I'm further along."

Josh nodded, it was smart just in case something was to happen. "Maya," he said, grabbing her attention. "I love you."

Maya smiled, "I love you too."

Joshaya is having a baby! Are you excited? Are you hoping they are having a boy or girl? What about a name? Whatever gets the most votes will be what Joshaya has so leave your vote along with a possible name below!!

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