Later in the day, I found myself truly alone for the first time in weeks, and while I'd always considered myself to be introverted, the silence pressed uncomfortably against my skin, constantly pulling my attention away from the fabric swatches Niamh left behind. The shadows in the corners loomed larger than I remembered, and every twitch of the curtains in the warm, floral breeze caused me to jump.

I turned over a scrap of blue so pale it was nearly silver. Water in fabric form. What would it look like as a dress? Fashion wasn't my strong suit; however, I couldn't imagine anything ornate. You wouldn't want anything that took attention away from the fabric itself.

A big gust of wind blew into the room, knocking a vase from the fireplace mantle. It struck the stone floor and shattered, sending shards of pottery in every direction and me to the headboard with my hand over my fluttering heart.

"Get it together, Luna," I snapped, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and lowering my feet to the floor. Cold spread through my toes as I padded to the window and inhaled deeply to calm myself.

Being forced to stay within these walls was going to drive me mad. I understood the dangers outside. How could I not when I'd nearly died multiple times and lost almost all memory of my night in the woods? Bits and pieces came to me in my sleep sometimes, but they were enough to leave a sense of doom clinging to my consciousness in the morning.

I gripped the window ledge and leaned forward. If I had Niamh's wings, I would fly away. Perhaps go all the way to the dark mountain Lorcan wouldn't tell me about. Out there I could be the girl who used to cause her father to lose sleep at night—the girl who didn't know fear. The one I'd buried but was slowly rediscovering and regretting letting go.

But in here... I was drowning, not even able to tolerate being alone for the fear that overwhelmed me. The shell I'd created to ease my father's worries hardened with each passing day, turning every dimly lit corner and whisper into a threat. I wasn't that girl. I didn't want to be that girl, and I certainly didn't want to live like this for centuries.

Without thinking, I hoisted myself onto the ledge and stood. My heart rolled and skipped when I glanced down. The grounds below were so distant, the flowers and bushes and Fae were little more than abstract swirls of color. The space between my shoulders itched—not the way it did when someone watched you, but rather like something was under my skin trying to break out.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?"

Forgetting where I was, I spun around to confront Calix, a sharp response already poised on the tip of my tongue. I might have managed the turn without issue if not for my dress. The heavy green skirt tangled around my legs and stole my balance. Calix's face shifted from fury to horror as I pitched backward, my arms outstretched as I plummeted down.

My ears filled with the whoosh of air and flapping fabric. The Summer Court sky was so glaring and bright, tears leaked out of the corner of my eyes, but I would not close them, determined if these were to be my last seconds alive, I would see light and not darkness.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," I whispered, hoping a daughter's last words had the power to travel between realms or to wherever it was his soul rested.

And then the darkness I'd tried to avoid surrounded me. Black mist coursed over me, settling into a cocoon. I should have felt claustrophobic, especially considering any second I would strike the ground; instead, my entire body shivered, then calmed, and when the mist disappeared, I sat in a bed of wildflowers, completely unharmed.

"Ow," I hissed as a sharp pain shot up my neck. Maybe not entirely unharmed. The itchy spot now burned.

Calix grabbed my hand as I reached over my back. "What hurts?"

"It's nothing. Just a spot on my back."

Fabric ripped and cool fingertips skimmed over my skin. When he pulled a sharp intake of air through his teeth, I twisted to get a better look, but all I could see was a tangle of dark hair falling over his face as he inspected my back.

"What?"

"It's not... Are you allergic to flowers? There's a red spot on your back. It's angry, but the skin isn't broken."

I shrugged and scooted away from him, clutching my dress to my chest. Without the back attached it wanted to fall forward, and this dress, like so many of the ones Niamh gifted me, didn't leave room for underwear.

"I don't think so, and it was itching before—"

"Before you tried to kill yourself." Gone was every hint of concern as he rose to his full height. His shadow fell across me, blocking the sun and leaving me to endure the full force of his anger.

"No!" Struggling to stand and retain my modesty, my protests were not nearly as forceful as I wanted it to be. "You're the one who stormed into my room unannounced and frightened me. I slipped because of yo—"

Calix's hand around my throat silenced me, and he walked forward, shoving me back until a tree stopped us. Silver flames swallowed his irises, and I swore the earth rumbled under my feet.

"Did I drag you up on that ledge? No. Don't you fucking dare blame me for your careless behavior. You're a selfish bitch."

The poisonous words oozed through my defenses, and I gaped at him. Calix could be unkind and uncouth, but rarely was he cruel. "Stop."

"We've spent nearly three weeks trying to keep you safe. Using every resource we have, including myself. Instead of protecting the king and the people, I've been glued to your ungrateful ass, and this is how you repay us. Putting yourself in danger?"

He didn't shout at me. He spoke each word just above a whisper and with such disdain; I felt myself wishing the ground would swallow me whole.

"That's not what I was doing." A feeble statement. Maybe even a lie. Because it had been the thrill of the danger I sought when I climbed on that ledge. It called to me like a drug.

"Liar."

"I'm sorry." Tears trickled down my face and splashed onto his wrist. He ripped his hand away as if they burned. "But I release you from your vow to protect me. I don't want it. I don't want Lorcan to protect me, either."

Calix flinched. "That's not an option."

"Fine. Then let it be on your own damn conscious when you wake up one morning and discover the cost of my salvation is my destruction."

Was that a little dramatic, yes? But with every passing day, I felt my sanity slip away a little more. It would seem I couldn't stuff my true self back into the box now that she was out.

He studied me for several long seconds, his anger draining away as each ticked past, and when he raised his hand to my face, it was with an unusual tenderness that he wiped away the dampness.

"This is the only way I know how to do this," Calix confessed. "I c—the kingdom cannot afford the war your death in our realm would cause."

"I understand that." I took his hand in mine and pressed it against my face. "But instead of suffocating me, teach me how to protect myself. At least enough to walk in the gardens."

"Fine," he growled. "But only because my brother will not let go of this ridiculous ball idea. I will have an easier time of it if I know you can at least hold someone off until I can get to you."

"There." I beamed at him. "Was that so hard?"

The grin he offered me in return sent a chill through me. Arm braced above my head on the tree, he leaned in and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'll teach you to defend yourself, little moon, but know this... if I ever have to save you from yourself again—from a dangerous situation you created—I will bend you over my knee, pull your dress up, and spank that delectable ass of yours until it turns as pink as your hair. Understood?"

I couldn't answer. Only squeak. He smirked, hooked his arm behind my back, and teleported me back to the bedroom. That night I dreamed of only ways to get in trouble.