When John arrived, he has a small smile on his face but a nervous tremor ran through his stomach. After all, last time... The kiss...  That one amazing kiss that had his heart racing. 

John shook his head (he can't think about things like that. He's here for Alex) and knocked on the front door, shifting from side to side and twirling his fingers just for something to do. He can't rid himself of the nerves, even if he does rid himself of the thoughts.

After tidying the flat for the thousandth time, Sherlock took a look at himself in the mirror. He had never been a vain person, all he ever wanted was to look his best which, in this moment, he was.

When he heard a knock at the door, he slowly moved to go let John in, his heart pounding in his chest all the while.

He walked down the stairs one at a time and tried not to think about the kiss.... The kiss which reignited a fire inside of him that had been cold and frozen for over 10 years, one that would burn for John alone.

John waited as patiently as he could and when the door opened, he beamed at Sherlock and entered, pausing awkwardly for a moment as he's unsure how to greet Sherlock. A friendly hug? No, too intimate. A handshake? Too formal. 

He settled with saying "Hi" and side stepping around him into the building. The air had a cold bite to it today.

"Hello, John." Sherlock said as calmly as possible. He closed the door as quietly as possible as Mrs Hudson usually took a nap around this time and he does not want to wake her. "I have already made most of the furniture except for the bed and wardrobe because they need to be assembled in the room. If we paint all of the walls today then I can sort out all the furniture once it has dried." Sherlock babbled as he walked up the stairs into his apartment.

"Paint?" John asked with a smile. "Well, I'm glad I didn't wear my best jumper" He jokesd, tugging lightly on the end of his coat. "Shall we?" He asked, pointing towards his old room. Alex's room, he corrected himself. 

He felt a bit weird still. He could hear that his voice was slightly higher than usual and maybe even shaking a bit. He couldn't help it. Every time he looked at Sherlock or looked around the flat, memories (recent and otherwise) hit him with intense force.

"Yes. We need to try and get it all done today." Sherlock state, leading the way to John's old room. John's old room... he forgot about that. How could that slip his mind? He was moving his... their daughter into John's old room. It was rather weird just to think about it. 

How did this happen...?

John followed Sherlock and didn't notice the other man's moment of thought, too lost in his own thoughts about how they were really starting to sort everything out despite the awkwardness that had settled between them. 

He walked over to the sheet that was laid out and spreads it further before he stripped out of his jumper and put it aside so it didn't get covered in paint. As he said, it wasn't his favourite but he was fond of every jumper he owned.

"I bought some overalls if you wish to wear them so you don't get paint all over you?" Sherlock asked, pulling said items out of a box and showing them to John.

 He placed them on the floor and began to take the paint and brush out of the box, taking off the lids of the paint and stirring them with a large wooden spoon.

John gave a shrug. "I think I should be all right. This top is nothing special and those overalls look a bit big for me" 

He walked over to Sherlock as he spoke and gave the man a small smile before he crouched down to pour the paint that Sherlock had stirred into the roller tray. 

"Well I'm going to use the overalls." Sherlock stated, picking up one of the overalls and putting them on over his clothes. Once he is finished he walked back over to John and handed him a roller silently.

John nodded and accepted the roller with another smile. Being nervous made him smiley, oddly enough.  He moved over to the section of the wall he'd decided to paint and began.

It's quiet for some time and John felt it a little awkward. Okay, that's a lie. The awkwardness was practically suffocating him. He just wanted to get along with Sherlock and not have this awkwardness hanging over them constantly. 

John suddenly got an idea and turned to Sherlock as fast as possible. "We should put some music on!" He grinned before his eyes widen. 

In his haste to turn and talk to Sherlock, he'd forgotten about the generous amount of paint on the end of his roller. That generous amount of paint that was now covering Sherlock's side, having been propelled by the speed at which John turned. 

Sherlock looked down to where John splattered him with the paint. He looked back up at John's face which was now looking extremely shocked.

"It's a good thing I wore the overalls then." Sherlock admitted, no emotion in his voice as he says it but once he has, he is laughing so hard that he has to hold onto his sides after a few minutes because they hurt so much.

After containing his laughter to minimal giggles he paints a stripe across the length of John's t shirt slowly, taking in the look on john's face.

John gasped in shock at Sherlock's action but when he looked down at his t-shirt he can't stop himself from grinning. He looked up and pulled a mock serious face. 

"Well, I can't let you get away with that" He teased and with those words he rolled paint up Sherlock's chest, purposely going on to his exposed skin at the top of the overalls.

He stuck his tongue out after as a way to show his childish victory. It's hard not to smile though and soon he's failing at keeping his own giggles in. 

Sherlock looked down at his stained overalls and laughed with John, putting down his paint brush so he doesn't have to worry about it falling on the floor. He then sat down with his back against the dry wall, trying to slow his laughter down.

"I have a stitch." Sherlock muttered between laughs, drawing his knees up towards his body.

John continued to giggle and he moved to sit beside Sherlock. His giggles fade after a few moments and he ended up just smiling at Sherlock. 

That umbrella of awkwardness seemed to have been replaced with a childish, giggling ray of sunshine. 

He looked down at his paint brush, realising that he was having more fun than he'd had in a long time. Maybe even since he was last with Sherlock. John knew that Sherlock would be the only person he ever truly loved so it made complete sense that he had this much fun with Sherlock. 

"I've missed you... missed this." Sherlock whispered quietly, hoping that John didn't hear what he just said.

It was embarrassing but true. So unbelievably true that it made his chest ache. He wanted John back more so than ever. Even though he'd been rejected, sort of, just a few nights ago by him.

John let out a breath and looked at Sherlock once more. He can't stop the large grin from spreading over his face, almost threatening to split his face in half with its size and intensity. John reached out before thinking and took Sherlock's hand, squeezing. He knew that he was going against his rules. He told himself that he wouldn't do anything like this before he was sure Alex was happy and he knew what she wanted.

He couldn't exactly just let Sherlock say all this and not reply, though, could he?

"I missed you too." He whispered. "I miss everything about you and what we had"

  Sherlock sighed quietly, squeezing John's hand also. "Everything was so good, so simple back then. I could say that I loved you without any fear that you would reject me." He brushed his thumb across John's knuckles, focusing on the movement of his fingers as they moved across the ridges.

Last time they were together was after the three of them went out to dinner and Sherlock was terrified that this will end the same way. The idea of John running from him once again was horrifying.

John swallowed, his throat feeling as though it's about to close. He wanted to cry. That was something he refused to do, however. Sherlock had never seen him cry and he never planned on letting the other man see him in such a pitiful state. That being said, he'd been very close to crying the last time they were alone. 

"Sherlock, I... You can still say it. It you want to... I, uh, won't reject you." John suck in a breath and spoke more confidently. "I'm determined to keep you in mine and Alex's life" 

Sherlock took a shaky breath, letting his lungs fill with air before releasing it roughly. "I... I love you. I love you and I love our daughter. Even though everyone that isn't Lestrade tells me that I should hate you for leaving me, I don't because you are the best and wisest man I have ever known so... of course I forgive you." Sherlock turned his head and looked at John lovingly, his breaths shaky and his eyes glassed over.

John nodded, trying to keep himself together. Sherlock could quickly break him with words like that. And those eyes... John felt as if he'd kicked a sad puppy while it was bedridden.

After everything. Him leaving him, keeping Alex a secret, making it awkward when he did come back into his life, kissing him because he felt down and then getting up and deserting him, telling him to forget the kiss.  After all that, Sherlock still loved him and he forgave him.

John didn't think. He just acts. He surged forward and pressed his mouth against Sherlock's own in a kiss that could only be described as desperate. Unlike their last kiss, however, it wasn't because John was feeling like a failure as an Omega. This time is was because Sherlock still loved him and he still loved Sherlock.

Sherlock encouraged the kiss, letting his lips dance across John's and capture them time after time. He let all of his worries go so he could focus on this one kiss with the man he loved. The man he has loved for over a decade. All his mind said in that moment was: 'John, John, John'.

His hands work their way down John's body, over his chest and stomach, gripping on his hips for a while before making their way to his arse where they kneed and pull so that John moves and straddles Sherlock's legs.

"Sherlock, slow..." John pulled back out of the kiss, blinking at Sherlock as his mind absorbs the situation. "Slow down..." John tried again, watching Sherlock closely and trying to think what to do. This could quickly get out of hand.

 Sherlock moved his neck back slightly so he can see John's face. "What?"

Sherlock wanted this even if it was sudden. He wanted his mate back, his old life back. He was sure John did too. There's no way that this kiss can be mistake for John's emotions being all over the place. And even if that was the case, it would mean he was trying to handle the emotions he felt because Sherlock told him how he feels.

John was shaking now, his hands trembling. He broke the rule. "This is... We need to think about Alex. She - She comes first. We just can't do this. Not now, maybe not ever" 

John spoke faster as he got further into what he said. He stood, climbing off of Sherlock and standing, shaking his head.  This was selfish of him. He was supposed to be here today to help Sherlock organise the room for their daughter. This was not about them.

"So it wouldn't benefit Alex to have her parents living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, being there for her 24/7? Because I think it would help her a lot. You still love me John. I know that you're scared but you can't use Alex as an excuse to shut me out again." Sherlock started to pace across the room. "I thought I had proved myself to you, shown you that I could be a good father to her." He suddenly stopped and closed his eyes at let his head hang between his tensed arms.

"You're a great father, Sherlock. You've proven that. But we're a mess. I'm a mess, more accurately. I got cheated on less than a week ago and kissed you then as well!" John threw his arms up in frustration. "I... I do love you but I can't do this again. Not in this state. Something will happen. We'll fight. Alex will get crushed... I just can't bear the thought of hurting her again" 

"But how do you know that unless you give it a chance?" Sherlock stood up straight and crossed his arms looking at John seriously.

He didn't want Alex hurt either but it was clear that the girl wanted them both around. She wanted them to be a family. Living together and happy.

They'd fight, yes, but all parents do. They wouldn't argue in front of her if and when they did argue. They'd love each other, no matter what.

How could John not see any of this? He was being annoyingly narrow minded and set on unlikely negatives.

"I'm not risking it unless I'm sure. I want to be sure Alex is happy too. She comes first" John replied, shaking his head and staring at Sherlock for a moment before he turned on his heels and walked out the room, exiting the flat a minute later. 

The only sign he'd been there at all was his jumper in the corner that he'd removed to start painting.