Some things are private. Some things needed to be said,
even when the person who needed to hear
them couldn't hear anything. Ever again.
-Rachel Vincent

It was a marriage of convenience. An agreement has been inked out between him and me. In clothing that I'd never thought of wearing. I never dreamed about this place, nor did it ever cross my mind. It was decorated elegantly and not stuffy like an overextend wedding. Our witnesses in tow Vincent's close friends and family, which happens to be Mason whom I've taken a liking to.

The ceremony was exceptionally formal. The music was played by a string quartet, and the execution was given by a celebrated musical drama artist. Scattered blossom petals within the church included their sentimental touch. The room was overfilled with visitors. At twelve o'clock, the flower girl threw red petals left and right towards the audience. The blossoms represented the long run of the couple's eternal peace and sentiment, but that wasn't happening between Vincent and I, in spite of the fact that it was a stupid contract for what I don't know. But I wanted my freedom and him to be out of Tina's life. We had discovered too much in the short period we've known each other.

The beautiful chamber doors opened wide for me to step in further. My dress was so radiant. The strapless gown, which showed off my collarbone and petite shoulders, lay seamlessly around my waist. It was beaded with little pleating at the midriff and a layered skirt. It was the center of attention while I strolled down the carpeted path, surrounded by antique church seats. Candles in little bowls were placed on the floor. When we said our vows, it appeared as if in the event that we really cherished each other, and my heart broke more at the thought. He took the ring and slipped it on my finger. The expensive nuptial fit like he knew everything.

My body shivered when his thumb caressed the back of my hands in adoration. He looked at me like he had never looked at any girl before, but it was all an act. He'd never choose you Laura, and my thoughts were right. Nobody wanted the broken girl.

The contract was signed and sealed. Pity these people who sat and looked at Vincent and I in adoration didn't know it was a contract marriage. Some knew, but those who sat there innocently didn't know at all. At the end of this contract, we'd live together segregated into two dwellings and continue living our lives separately without the world knowing about our double life.

It was over my wedding, indulging myself with liquor, taking one swing after the other. The truth was, I have never drunk in my entire life, but why not today? Isn't it worth it to drink your pain and sorrow away? I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my shins; if I could just curl up into a ball, I wouldn't have to face real life, I'd be protected from everything around me.

But I'd still have to live with myself, with the wretched memories swirling around in my head. My eyes, already red and puffy from crying, squeezed shut to push more tears out. I let my head fall down to my knees, and I pulled my legs closer to me.

No matter what I did, there was nowhere I could hide from the thoughts in my head. It wasn't easy to just forget it was hard. I needed help, but how was I able to get this help?

Is it possible that Vincent could let me forget about all of this? Hmm.

"How can you be stupid now, Laura?" I cheekily smiled, tasting the bitter liquid. The bottle was half empty. It's not right to drink. I remembered my thoughts reminded me of my ought. This was my own word. I was going back on. No matter what, I'd never drink to become an alcoholic like my father or a smoker.

I dropped the bottle on the floor, laying flat on my back, while I waited and waited till sleep took over my body. A place where I could never rest peacefully. Is there anywhere in the world I could rest in peace?

Our pride was set aside. Vincent and I had been close for two months since the incident. Everything was set aside. I still had nightmares. They weren't easy to get rid of. If you asked me, my mind kept reminding me that I could never have a peaceful life.

********************

"Laura, you don't know what you are doing. Put the brush down," I giggled about dipping the paintbrush in the paint and wiping it all over the canvas. I knew what I was doing. It's called painting. He was just jealous.

I had no idea he was so talented. He paints, and he's pretty good at it.

"Stop moving, that's what you should do" Did I mention that I lied to him, so he could stay home? Yeah, well there he was in his office clothes, seated in the chair looking directly in front of me.

"And I'm finished," he scoffed, getting up and taking strides towards me. I was a mess, with my hair all over my face, my hands all dirty with paint while I tried to move the hair out of my face.

It didn't take long for it to get out of my face. He moved the hair that was stuck to my face out of the way, so I was able to see my masterpiece. He smoothed my hair back, winking at me and I almost lost myself.

"Ha! So what do you think? Isn't it amazing?" I waited for his reaction, but nothing came. Directly putting my hands around the painting in amusement, he cocked his brow, letting out a sigh.

"Should I say something?" He asked, folding his arms across his chest, what an asshole he was. His accent was such a playful tune, as if he was the star of his own movie. I could have sat there all day simply listening and smiling, but he's a jerk.

"Of course you should. I put hard work into this, as you can see," I motioned my hands over the face of the painting. It was truly art that I created, though it's not that bad. He looked at me while we made eye contact. His eyes did not leave mine. He cocked his brow, blowing me back into reality. I cleared my throat. He took his opportunity and left. The breath I was holding for these two minutes really killed me as I let it out.

"He can't even give a good compliment. What an asshole he can be sometimes." I rolled my eyes, heading out of the living room, throdding up the stairs. I glanced in the mirror, looking at my reflection. My brown eyes weren't that dull anymore and my brown skin was glowing under the light. My lips weren't white anymore as they fully remained back to their color. I took a hot shower, got dressed and headed downstairs to see the table all set.

"Mr. Johnson," I smiled evilly, looking at Vincent at the end of the table. He rolled his eyes, focusing back on his phone. I took my seat and watched his every move. I played with my food, not feeling a bit hungry. Something was definitely wrong with me.

"Excuse me." I got up to leave, but stood in my tracks. "Where are you heading Laura? You haven't finished eating?" What if I hadn't finished eating? I clenched my jaw facing him while his face held no emotion of that sort. "I'm going to jump off the balcony now if you'll excuse me." He choked on his juice staring at me. I rolled my eyes while walking up the stairs and the thought rushed to me. My period.

I screamed into the pillow, heading inside the bathroom, slamming it shut.