~I am not designed to
come second or third.
I am designed to win.
-Ayrton Senna

I lay in my pool of water looking up at the ceiling as I bled out in the tub. They wouldn't understand the pain that we have to go through as women. We are meant to feel pain, but girls feel the worst. I sniffed, wiping away my tears, standing up to clean myself. I placed a towel around my body, stepping out of the bathroom feeling all lifeless and drained. My period was the worst thing that happened to me. Somehow it hadn't come last month and you know what that means, double pain.

It's a nightmare. We can't get rid of it until we are old or die. HELL. SUFFERING. PAIN. BLOOD. That's all we get as a surprise every month. What if the roles switch? Boys being girls for a day? I doubt they can handle the pressure of what we actually go through? I don't think so.

"Vincent!" I screamed staring at the night table. The sound of the door being opened made me snap my head away and brought me back to reality. "Where's Vincent?" I looked at the butler in pure anger. He looked back at the way I spoke to him. I've never spoken in this way to anyone else but Vincent, but he deserves it for bringing me to this prison. "Mam Vincent is in his study and ordered us not to disturb him-" I raised my hand for him to stop.

"Did I ask you what he was doing?" He shook his head in a strange manner, staring at the head office. "I ordered him now! So Luke went get him, "I tilted my head looking at him, cocking my brow with a slight nod. He left once the door closed. I screamed out the pain that was in my abdomen. How could we bear this pain alone? A tear slipped from my eyes while I clutched my stomach.

When I heard the door open, I straightened my posture, looking at the person that had entered. Seeing that, it was like my anger grew. "Mam-" I know what that means. "It's fine, just leave". He dares not come when I need him. I was in my same stop bleeding out and he dared not come to his wife. My eyes landed on the first vase. Without wasting time, I threw it on the wall and waited for his arrival. Who does he think he is? He's not in his stupid office to say those words. DO. NOT. DISTURB.

It'll only take him a couple of minutes to reach down here. He's overthinking or maybe that's what I think. Maybe he's not. But thinking about the consequences of him not being down here will make him think that nothing has happened to me and that I'm being childish and that I'm seeking attention, but in this case, I'm seeking his attention and not being childish, but if he overthinks, then it only takes two or three minutes for him to check on what I've done. And from my observation, he doesn't want me to die, because of his greediness for money.

And I'm blabbering to myself, and I'm overthinking too much as well. What do I do when I'm nervous? Why am I even nervous? I just need a couple of napkins. That's it. Don't be nervous Laura, it's no big deal.

But right now I'm the one who's overthinking this case. There's a fifty percent chance or maybe seventy-five if I'm right.

As expected, exactly two minutes later, the door flew open revealing an angry Vincent. At this point, I was half right about him being here. His eyes landed on the pieces of shattered glasses across the room, then he looked back at me with a bored expression. When was I going to see even a smile? Ugh. Taking a sip of my water, I crossed my legs professionally and looked at him through my thick lashes.

"What's the meaning of this Laura?" Yeah, Laura, what's the meaning of this? I chuckled listening to my thoughts, taking another sip of my water with a raised eyebrow, he questioned me. "As you can see, I am pretty much angry with you for not coming to me when I needed you, so I broke something," I gave him my biggest smile while he just stood there not looking interested at all in our conversation.

"I was busy and I told Luke to let you know that I would not be bothered," I rolled my eyes, placing the glass on the table. "You told Luke and not me there was a slight difference, dear husband." I pushed on. I got not one emotion out of him, which is rare. He knew how to hide his emotions and when I did get one out of him, it was more like a win for me.

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He looked pretty worked up and tired. "Are you tired?" Even if I hated him, that doesn't mean I don't care about his health. If he died, they'd blame me. "There is nothing to worry about, so what do you need?"

How am I supposed to say it? Do I just like spit it out or text it to him? Stop being stupid Laura, and put your pride to the side. I took a deep breath. "I need napkins." He looked pretty confused, but after a moment, his mouth formed an O shape. "I'll be back in a few," The door opened and closed. I was still looking at the spot where Vincent stood. The only difference was he wasn't there and I just embarrassed myself.

I always had napkins. I can't believe that I even ran out. I was prepared for moments like this, but not prepared today.

"How could you possibly think that Laura?" Yeah Laura, how could you think that way to go and embarrass yourself? I sat there for what seemed like forever. I couldn't move at all. I knew I was in pain all over. My body was screaming at me. It felt like someone had stabbed me in my ovaries.

The opening and closing of the door made me move my head. Vincent had plastic bags and a paper bag in each hand. Could he possibly buy what I'm thinking he bought?

"I had no idea, so I bought these," he handed me the bags and left. "Thanks," I looked straight at the door, whispering. Somehow I think he's embarrassed. Why wouldn't I literally make him buy me napkins?

I lay flat on the bed awaiting the pain to disappear. I groaned, clutching my stomach, my fingernails almost piercing through my skin. It's deadly how I can bear such a thing. The headache came knocking at my door. It made my vision all blurry. I tried blinking it away, but nothing. It didn't work like that till I passed out.

It was always the same, a crushing pain just on one side of my head that came and went in a pattern. It made me want to pace about. I couldn't sit, couldn't lie down or relax. I was twisting and turning. One eye would water on the painful side and my nose would run. I hated it. My period.