The dull ringing of the bell hanging over the door echoes around the small run-down café, drawing the attention of a middle-aged woman with ash blonde hair,

"Hiya my loves!"

Linda throws a t-towel over her shoulder, travelling towards us and embraces us one by one in a hug as we step through the door out of the cold.

Linda is one of the sweetest women I've ever met, she's warm and caring and owns the best greasy spoon in London. Hands down. Sofia, Jacob and I have become regulars since we moved to Islington and come here more times than we probably should.

The café is run down and very 80s looking with several newspaper prints framed and stuck on the wall, the seats are losing the stuffing from their cushion and almost every table has some sort of sticky ketchup mark on It, the white walls are now a murky cream colour and the floor is covered in chipped or cracked tiles. However it doesn't take away from the fact that this little café sells the best milkshakes I've ever had, they're like orgasms for my tongue.

Sofia leads us to one of the less stained tables by the heavily condensed window overlooking the street, we shrug our coats off and sit down on the hard seats.

"The usual darlins?" Linda shouts from the counter over the hissing of the big kitchen grills.

Jacob nods, "Thanks, Lin!"

I can hear Linda shouting food orders at the chefs as she places multiple objects into an old-fashioned glass blended and finally splashes milk onto the top of them. The smell of chips and sizzling burgers wafts around my nose. I turn my eyes back from where Linda is now playing with a can of squirty cream and find Sofia and Jacob grinning at me, intently.

"Stop! You're creeping me out." I burrow my head in my hands.

"I'm sorry it's just... you're going to be a signed recording artist Gigi." Sof beams.

"Hold up guys, I haven't been signed yet! They might have changed their mind or have found someone better! They had been drinking a lot last night so they might-."

"WILL YOU STOP FUCKING DOUBTING YOURSELF YOU TALENTED WHORE." Sofia towers over the table and shouts in my face, drawing the attention of a few people in the cafe, who peek over the tops of their newspapers very unsubtly.

Sofia's eyes run the room, quickly she sits down; obviously realising how fucking loud she was. Jacob sighs and rubs his temple, I'm just frozen, brows furrowed, startled, to say the least.

"Way to make a scene Sof. But she is right Gi, when are you going to wake up and see how blooming talented you are! You deserve this more than anyone squashy." Jacob's eyes plead at me.

Linda appears at the end of the table in a red pinafore embroidered with white thread holding a tray with three large milkshakes balancing on top,

"Here we go ducklings, one Ferrero Roche, one strawberry and one Skittle"

She carefully places the drinks in front of Sofia, Jacob and me. Then places the tray under her arm and leans on the end of the table looking at Sofia,

"Are you alright Sof? You seem a bit... agitated."  She walks around the table and perches in the spare seat next to me.

"Oh, I'm great Linda! Absolutely peachy.' She mocks, "We were just telling Gigi that she should realise how talented she is."

"Oh gosh, Gigi they are right! Wake up and smell the bacon Hun, you're unbelievably talented and I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend! You got to put yourself out there ducklin for the whole world to see."

"Yes, she should Lin, shouldn't she!" Jacob grins at me,

"Go on, tell her!"

Sofia shoots daggers at me across the table, Lin turns to me confused,

"Tell me what?" 

"Well, Uhm... I... I... have- "

I have no idea why I'm finding it so hard to say, I think the reality of the whole situation has finally sunk in, but I don't want to get my hopes up by telling too many people. I'm just apprehensive about getting rejected again because they want someone better or nicer than me.

I can feel the bile rising in my throat as I think more about it, I'm working myself up, its burning the back of my oesophagus. I reach for my milkshake sipping at the cold liquid hoping it'll soothe the acidic substance nestling in my throat, making me nauseous. The queasiness subsides a bit when Sofia finishes my sentence for me,

"She's got a meeting with Haasa Records in 2 hours!"

Linda looks even more puzzled; she raises an eyebrow at Sof as if to say what the fuck is that.

"They're one of the world's biggest record labels." Jacob fills in the gaps.

"Currently home to the man meat that is Colton Jax" Sofia adds, winking.

Linda's green eyes widen,

"Oof he's such a hunk! My niece is always showing me his pictures on Instagram, I mean you could grate cheese on his abs." she gasps like a fish out of water.

Oh, for Christ's sake, someone swallow me up now, that man is following me everywhere! I grind my teeth in anguish, everyone treats him like a fucking god, when he's a rude, nasty asshole. Even Linda's fawning over him, this thirty-something-year-old woman who runs a small greasy spoon.

"I KNOW RIGHT! And our little Gigi's already met him... twice" Sof rolls her plastic straw between her fingers.

Linda's hands cup her mouth in excitement, oh boy. I roll my eyes as Sofia starts gushing, dramatically, the story I had told her last night and how we met.

I keep my eyes fixed on the road outside, my fingers trace the small water droplets on the window, creating small images on the cold glass. I watch people go by about their business, strolling down the small backstreet. I'm a people watcher. I love watching people and studying them in public places, not in a creepy way, of course, they just make good inspiration for songs. A woman and a man stroll past the window holding hands, laughing and enjoying the thin rays of sun that stream through the clouds onto their Barbour coats. I wonder where they're going or where they've come from.

I fiddle with the straw in my milkshake occasionally taking a small sip, twirling the plastic around on my tongue. Sofia's still telling Linda the story of my unfortunate run-ins with Mr $5000 shirt but I'm not listening. I'm just focusing on steadying my breathing which has now become shallow and fast-paced.

I catch Jacob looking at me concerned, I just smile wearily back at him and turn back to face the window. I feel him place his warm hands over my shaking knuckles which steadies my heartbeat a little. He keeps his hands over mine for the next few minutes whilst Sofia babbles on about this boy in her college class who's apparently got no fashion sense whatsoever according to her,

"I'm just saying that Velvet would be a better fit than denim!"

Linda nods profoundly at Sofia's statement.

"See Linda gets it!" her arms fly out towards me and then Jacob, we're both sat quite bewildered by the conversation and it obviously shows because she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms with a dramatic huff.

The bell on the countertop rings and Linda shoots up out of the chair and over to collect the fresh tray of food being placed down on the red-tiled surface. She carries the tray over to our table and balances it on the edge making it easier for her to unload the plates,

"Poached eggs, bacon and avocado for Jacob, Pancakes and ice cream for Sof and a full English for Gigi."

She places the food in front of me and wanders off gingerly to serve other customers who have just walked in. I stare down at the plate and pick up a few chips passing them through my lips. I spoon the beans around the plate leaving trails of orange juice on the rim. I can feel the nausea travelling up through my body again, I need to eat but I don't think I can bring my stomach to agree. Linda does the best Full English and it's my favourite thing to order whenever we come here but today just the sight of it is making me feel sick. I push the sausages around the plate trying to look nonchalant and pick up a slice of toast, butter it and place it back down next to the mushrooms.

"So Gi what do you think they're going to ask you? Do you get to record your own album too? Do you have to have recorded music already to go on tour with Colton? Will you be working closely with him?" Sof says between bites.

My eyes flick up to Sofia who's shovelling pancakes into her red lips.

"Sofia, I have no idea, I don't know how this works and for the one-hundredth time I haven't been signed yet!"

Sofia's endless questions carry on through breakfast, each one flying around my head, my hands begin to shake even more, and my breathing becoming quicker and more erratic. I can feel my chest constricting painfully squeezing all remaining oxygen out. I just need to get through the next couple hours.

"God Gigi, you're as pale as a ghost, are you alright? I didn't mean to overwhelm you, I'm sorry!"

"Let's just stop with the questions, for now, Sof, yea?"  Jacob says grabbing my hands again, stopping them from visibly shaking.

"Breath babe, don't work yourself up, it'll all be fine, just deep breaths." she coos in my ear

"You're alright Squashy, just focus on your breathing, big deep breaths, in-out, In out okay."

Gradually I started to calm down, with the help of Sofia and Jacob. They're used to dealing with me and my episodes now, over the last few years they've become a lot more frequent and a lot harder to deal with but every time they happen, they're always there to help me. They always know the right things to say and the right things to do, and sometimes if they get really bad, they'll just hold me until it all passes.

Once I'd regained control of my body, we spent the rest of breakfast just chatting about what Sofia's doing at college, she's graduating this year and she's already decided she's having this massive graduation party, Of course, that Bleu is going to be paying for, and Jacobs promotion at work yesterday. I lift my half-full glass of skittle milkshake up in the air over the centre of the table,

"Well here is to this being our year!" I say

They raise their glasses to mine, and they all chink together.

"Have you thought any more about what you want to do after college Babe?" I direct to Sofia after a long sip of my drink.

"Honestly, I've been applying for more internships at some of the bigger company's but I'm not sure I'll get an interview."

Sofia's wanted to be a fashion designer for as long as I've known her, it's always been her dream to work as a stylist and designer for Vogue and then build up to having her own line and her own brand. She's been applying for tonnes of different internships in some of the leading fashion brands and modelling companies across London, but she hasn't heard much back from them yet and it's obviously worrying her.

"Have you heard anything back from Vouge yet?" Jacob asks

She shakes her head and you can see the disappointment flash through her caramel eyes.

"Hey, no news is good news Sof! I don't doubt there just taking their time!" I offer her an encouraging smile.

"I know, I know I just want to know now, it's the waiting game that's frustrating me. Cassy got accepted for her internship last week and she's going to be at Burberry for crying out loud."

"It'll all work out Sofia, I promise! And we'll be there to say I told you so when you get accepted for Vouge baby "Jacob winks at her and she giggles.

Jacobs phone starts ringing on the table, he turns the screen around with a grimace expression,

"Shit its work, I'm going to have to take it outside, do I sound ill enough?" He fake coughs causing Sofia and I to chuckle. The bell signals he's walks out of the door and into the street causing Sofia to reach across the table and grab my arm catching me off guard.

"I'm so proud of you Gi and I really didn't mean to overwhelm you. I just want to say, don't overthink this, you've earned this and it's a sign that your time is coming, and things are changing! You just have to believe it, believe in your ability and your talent.  I know after everything it's hard, but you've got to have more faith in yourself. People want to listen to your music and what you have to say, and this record label obviously sees something special in you, as Jacob and I do. After everything you've been through this is your light at the end of the tunnel! Take a deep breath and try and think about the positives of this situation, okay?"

I can feel tears slowly trickling down my face from my over spilling eyes as she finishes, I leap up and launch myself onto her lap throwing my arms around her shoulders. I nestle my face into her silky hair which smells of coconut and almonds and whisper into her ear,

"I love you, thank you."

She squeezes me back tightly with her arms wrapped around my waist.

"I love you too but... you're crushing my legs you whore" we both chuckle,

Sofia's never really that affectionate, she's a caring person and I know she loves me but she's never usually that vocal with her emotion.

I can't stop the tears that are building up in my eyes, bloody hormones, I pull away and stand up, she carefully wipes her thumb under my lash line and places a kiss on my cheek.

'Hey, no more tears okay! You'll smudge your eyeliner! This is going to be a good day; I can feel it." She points her finger up to the sky like some sort of psychic and we both laugh. I take a deep breath and nod at her.

Jacob walks back in and sits down looking at my tear-streaked face,

"Oh god, what did you do to her now Sofia?"

"You cow! I was being a good friend, I'm just so amazing she felt the need to cry."

This only makes me laugh harder.

"Modest as always" Jacob sighs.

Sofia slams her hands down on the table startling Jacob and I.

"Right. Let's go! I have an idea." Immediately she gets up and starts to put her fur coat on leaving me and Jacob awfully confused. She throws some cash down on the table and waves to Linda behind the counter as I check my phone for the time, 1:03.

"Uhm where are we going, I have my meeting in less than an hour."

"Chill, let's go." She grabs my hand and drags me around the table as I struggle to shuffle my blazer up my arms.

"Bye Linda" I shout behind me, being dragged out of the café.

"Bye Ducklin, good luck!"

Sof and I wait on the corner outside the café in the cold afternoon air, the clouds are disappearing now, and the sun is shining bright, casting shadows of buildings onto the road under us. There is a slight chill in the breeze through which causes me to tug my blazer tighter around my body. I really should have bought a coat, but Sofia said it ruined my 'casual-chic aesthetic' so she'd rather watch me freeze instead.

Jacob soon joins us looking at me through weary eyes that say what the fuck is she doing now.

Sofia's alternating between looking intently down the road or at her phone screen. If Sofia's the reason I'm late to this meeting, I'll fucking kill her. I can feel my chest getting tighter again at the thought of being late.

"What are we doing, I can't be late Sof!"

"Calm. We'll be on time" she winks, "Come on slowpokes".

Her heeled boots trot off down the pavement towards the main road, Jacob links my arm in his, shrugs and pulls me along with him after Sofia.

Sofia doesn't say a word on our travels, she just keeps looking back at us, grinning. It's starting to creep me out, to be honest. Usually, Sofia has good intentions, but they don't always end up being so... 'good', they usually end up getting all of us in a lot of trouble.  After four minutes of walking Sofia shouts at us from ahead.

"Get your oysters out."

Oh god, where are we going? I look at Jacob with a questioning expression, he apathetically shrugs back at me again as we fumble around in our pockets looking for our plastic cards.

We reach Old Street tube station and walk straight through the barriers placing the blue plastic cards on the reader,

"Remind me to top mine up later," Jacob says as we mount the top of one of the escalators towards the northern line.

We wait on the platform among several other tourists and businessmen and women. Sofia still won't tell us where we were going, it could literally be anywhere when it comes to her. The tubes are running a bit slower today and there are a few delays, so the platform ends up getting rather crowded. Sofia and I pull out our Air Pods and connect them both to my phone, all three of us take an earpiece and start miming to one of my playlists. Lily Allen's 'LND' comes on and Sofia starts skipping around and miming actions in the small circle she's created between herself and other passengers, all of which are looking at her like she has 3 heads. Jacob and I are wetting ourselves which is evidently annoying all the suited men standing near us who are rolling their eyes obviously. Sofia now starts singing the lyrics out loud, creating an echo in the silent tube station. More and more people are now starting to look because, bless her, she sounds pretty shit and in the UK it's almost a crime to make any noise or try and talk to someone when waiting for a tube or travelling on a tube.

After a few more mini-performances from Sofia the tube comes hurtling out of the black hole at the end of the platform and stops by the station. We scramble through the dense crowd of people and onto the carriage, its standing room only which pisses Sofia off but I can't sit still at the moment anyway my knees are knocking together like bits of wobble jelly.

After a few tube changes, we finally end up at Monument station. Sofia is still leading us, clueless, but as soon as we get onto the main street I know where we are, I can feel a smile sneaking onto my face, I know Sofia now senses I know where we're going, she turns to me and winks. Jacob is still none the wiser though.

"Okay where the flip are we?" his eyes search the street. We both chuckle.

"Ta-da!" Sofia flings her arms out in front of the towering glass building.

"Uhm the Skygarden?" Jacob says puzzled.

"Yep! Come on."

Sofia walks towards the lifts, me following in the wake of her strawberry smelling perfume.

"Wait, Sofia, we can't go in, we haven't got tickets and we have to book them like three weeks in advance." Jacob runs to catch up with us.

Sofia stops, causing me to crash into her, she unlocks her phone and thrusts it towards Jacob,

"But we do have tickets."

Jacob's eyes flick between her grinning face and the iPhone screen.

"What...how?"

"I know people Jakey boy" she carries on towards the lift,

"You mean you've slept with people," Jacob mumbles causing me to giggle, Sofia flips him off in a blasé manner and steps inside the lift.

We head up in the lift to the viewing balcony, as soon as the doors spring open me and Sofia practically dart out across the room onto the balcony. We stand here in silence just taking it all in. Jacob finally catches up and stands in-between us.

"Am I the only one who has no idea what's going on? Why are we at the Skygarden?"

"Because dummie, Gigi loves the Skygarden, it's one of her favourite places."

Sofia had hit the nail on the head, she knew this would calm me down.

From about the age of nine, this has been one of mine and Sofia's favourite places, we came here pretty much every week when we were younger. Sofia's dad first introduced us to this place when he was still working in the centre of the city, all 3 of us spent the hour just looking out over London, asking him silly questions like why the Shard had so many windows. He told us this was where he first met Sofia's mum, she was an American exchange student who was studying photography at the University of Greenwich. He claimed it was 'love at first sight' and after that, she moved to the UK permanently for him. Sofia never really got the chance to know her mum as she died when she was 4, that's why the Skygarden is special to her, she feels closer to her mum.

Ever since that day, this strange-looking building has become one of my favourite places. I used to come here to escape when I was younger. I still do now. Whenever things got too much at home Sofia and I would come here and sit at the top listening to music in silence together looking out over the outline of the buildings. I love looking over the top of London, it's beautiful from up here.

The clouds had cleared completely, and the sun was beaming down onto the windows of the small skyscrapers, I look out in front of me, everything seems so small, from up here I'm in control. I look down at all the ant-like figures littering the pavements below, the tiny black cabs and bright red double-decker busses. In front of me stands the shard, gleaming in the midday sun, it's like a wedding centrepiece, it stands out projecting elegance. Boats bob up and down on the depressing Thames which is secluded by weathered square buildings. Tower bridge sits obnoxiously to my left creating a sense of self-importance, the small light flashes vigorously on the top of Canary Wharf as a Boeing -747 swoops down by it, the roar of the engines travel through my ears making me smile. A sense of calm washes through my body, everything stops, there's no voices in my head, no pit of anxiety in my stomach, no problems. You leave your problems and worries at the entrance to the lift. Nothing matters when you're so high up, it's crazy because I hate heights but even that doesn't matter when I'm up here. I let the breeze flow across my face and through my hair as I take a deep breath and focus back on the outline of the city in front of me.

The three of us stand here in silence, all deep in thought, it was a comfortable silence though, we don't need to speak or say anything. We spend the next fifteen minutes just staring out over the top of London, raining in the power I get from being up so high over everyone.

"Dad said the Kniphofia plants were her favourite thing here, she used to spend hours photographing them and then tracing and painting them." 

Sofia says breaking the silence.

I could see her eyes filling with tears, her voice laced with sorrow. I pull her into my side without saying anything. Sofia never wants people to pity her, its one of her biggest pet peeves, she knows I'm here for her though without anything being said.

I lead us off into the actual garden section and we spend the next ten minutes wandering through the array of bright colours and clouds of green leaves that hang over our short heads. My nose fills with the scents of damp earthy soil accompanied by sweet, fruity, ambrosial flowers, my nose also picks up whiffs of calming lavender every so often, causing a sense of serenity to go surging through my body. We stop once so Sofia can take a picture of the Kniphofia plant, she traces the plant delicately with her fingertips, smiling to herself.

We finish in the garden and take the lift back down to the street full of foreign tourists with their cameras dangling from their necks. All serenity is lost when the sound drilling from nearby roadworks becomes apparent and the honking from the cars that are queued impatiently. Being back on the ground triggers a sense of uneasiness and I start feeling more lightheaded than when I was 500ft in the air. I could feel anxiety hijacking my body again.

Hey Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please comment, vote and add to your reading lists! I apologies again for any grammar or spelling mistakes! Please follow me and share the story!

Follow me @iztypess on Instagram for sneaks, spoilers and aesthetics!

I love writing Sofia and Jacobs characters, their just so much fun to write, we also got to see a bit further into Gigi's head, more of which will be revealed further into the story!

But how will the meeting go...?

Thanks for reading,

Iz x