They say the worst mistake is walking away from the person who actually stood there and waited for you and when we lose someone we must learn to live without them.

I walked away from the man I love because I was scared and I never want to live without him.

My eyes burn with unleashed tears as I tare down the hospital corridors, the smell of antiseptic makes my stomach churn even more. The depressing walls make me feel so hopeless.

He's going to be fine.

It's just going to be a scratch.

He'll be fine.

I can hear the heavy footsteps of Emma and Amaury behind me but I don't wait for them. I carry on running, ignoring the burn in my legs and the pounding in my head.

I search the signs, looking for the ICU unit.

Fucking ICU.

Why are these goddam corridors so long? Eventually, when my lungs give in I find Jayden hunched over on some seats in the waiting room of the ICU area. He stands up when he sees me, stitches lining the right side of his face and his right arm sat in a sling. I run over to him and wrap my arms around him being careful not to touch his arm. I hear him grunt and immediately pull away.

"I'm sorry!" I grab his face between my hands and assess his cut, "Are you okay, what happened?" His eyes water and I wrap my arms around his neck pulling him into me, I have to stand on my tippy-toes but I can feel him crying into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Gigi. It just came out of nowhere." He sobs.

"Hey, hey it's okay." I rub his back letting the tears roll down my face. He pulls away and I wipe the tears from his cheeks, being careful not to touch the deep gash on his face. At some point, Emma and Amaury had joined us and were now standing behind me, Amaurys arm around Emma as she subtly wipes her tears.

"We were just driving along and this car just came and hit into us. It was Colton's side so he took most of the impact." He cries.

"Where is he?" I squeeze his hand and look into some of the rooms.

"He had to be taken to surgery when we got here but he came back and was in his room for a while but then the machine started going off and he had to be rushed back into emergency surgery. They won't tell me anything because I'm not related." He rubs his eyes with his good arm.

"I'll go find a doctor," Amaury says walking away, I take his place and put my arm around Emma.

"I'm so sorry." Jayden mumbles, I wrap my arms around his neck again.

"Don't be silly it wasn't your fault." I let go of him when Aumery walks back around the corner with a doctor, he has a grim expression on his face and carries an iPad lazily.

"Are you all Mr Hemmings family?" He gestures towards us, Emma nods.

"Very well. When your son was bought in here, he had broken his lower leg and fractured his left knee. He also had two broken ribs that had punctured his lung resulting and a pneumothorax. The usual method of inserting a needle to release the air didn't work so we had to take him down to surgery. When he got back he was stable for a while but we had failed to see a large amount of internal bleeding in his abdomen, we've just taken him back down to surgery." The doctor explains with virtually no remorse.

"How long will he be in surgery? Is it a simple surgery?" Emma asks.

"It's a large bleed... he'll be in there for a while." He doesn't answer the rest of Emma's question.

"Is he going to be okay?" Jayden asks.

"I won't lie to you, it's hard to tell at the moment. Coltons body shut down when the bleed started and as a result, his heart went into cardiac arrest. Although he showed no head injuries we're not sure how much damage was done to his brain in the moments it was short of oxygen." My pulse thumps loudly In my ears, he went into cardiac arrest, he could have died. He did fucking die!

I feel an arm wrap around me, Jaden wipes the tears from my cheeks.

"So because of your incompetence to find a bleed my son might die!" Amaury shouts, making us jump.

"Sir-"

"No. You listen to me! My son-"

"Amaury! Calm down please." Emma pleads crying into his shirt. I can see where the boys' temper comes from.

"We'll know more when he comes out of surgery." The doctor walks off quickly.

Emma starts crying and falls Into a chair, Aumery falling down with her.

I just stand there, numb. My mind's racing, I can't lose him, I can't lose him.

"Gi, sit down with me." Jayden guides me into a chair and I rest on his chest as droplets fall from my face.

Colton was never my distraction, he made me realise what I was missing and filled that hollow hole inside of me. He's taught me how to let people in and how to love me. Sure I have bad days but doesn't everyone. He keeps me grounded but makes sure I'm doing enough crazy things.

I love him so much it actually scares me, I should have told him that.

Colton was still in surgery, the doctor came about an hour ago and told us there had been some complications. Jayden lay on my lap asleep, he'd told me he'd been up all night trying to find Colt and then they were driving back to come to find me. I immediately felt guilty, he wouldn't have been out drinking if it weren't for the way I'd treated him. Emma and Amaury had gone to get something from the cafeteria downstairs, I'm not leaving until I get to see him.

I play with Jayds braids absentmindedly, he looked so tired, the colour had completely drained from his face, he feels so guilty. It's not his fault, how was he meant to know a car was going to-

"Gigi!" A voice from down the corridor brings me out of my thoughts, Will's running down the corridor in the same outfit he was in last night. Stubble lines his chin and bags compliment his eyes. Jayden stirs at the commotion and ends up trying to sit up but with a broken collarbone, proves to be rather difficult.

"Careful," I say helping him into a sitting position.

"Jesus Jayden. How is he? How are you?" He rambles shoving a hand through his hair.

We run him through Colton's condition as he takes a seat next to me, he takes it in, letting out a few curses before Jayden ends up falling asleep again. We sit in silence, I can't quite tell if its an awkward one or a comfortable one.

"Will, I'm sorry," I whisper, staring down at the sterile, tile floor. He lets out a breath, relaxing into the chair and slinging an arm around my shoulder, "I shouldn't have acted the way I did last night."

"It's okay, I understand, family comes first. I would have done the exact same if it were my little girl. I just wish you would have talked to me, I could have helped you. Tessa, the label and Castro-"

"I really don't care about them right now, they are so irrelevant in the grand scheme of things." I sigh.

"I know, what I wanted to say was whatever happens now, I'm here for you. You're still my client and my friend, we'll get your album and get you on a tour. You're not alone in this okay." I nod and lean against his shoulder.

"Thank you. I know I'm a bit of a liability at the moment but I appreciate It."

"You're not a liability, you're a caring, talented, independent woman who just needs a bit of nurturing." He chuckles.

Colton nurtured me, looked after me when I felt low, took me out, made sure I was eating and getting enough sleep.

"He'll pull through Gigi. He's a stubborn ass boy and he knows you're waiting for him." Will sighs.

"I never got to tell him I love him." I sob, feeling the weight of it crushing me.

"He knows," Will says.

"It's fifty, fifty at the moment I'm afraid. The positive is at the moment he's responding well and his vitals are stable however there were a lot of complications down in surgery. I see no reason why he shouldn't wake up within the next few hours or so but if it breeches twenty hours it'll be a concern, with his body's erratic behaviour we're not sure which way it could swing." A new doctor approaches us after Colton's bed is wheeled into the private room.

We all rush to follow them into the room but a nurse fitted in blue scrubs stops us.

"Only one at a time, his condition is very fragile so we need to limit the risk of infection." She commands.

I take a step back, it's only fair his parents get to see their son first but Emma pulls me forward with a smile,

"You go first, Gigi."

I nod thankfully at her and walk into the room cautiously, it's full of nurse and doctors adjusting wires and machines but all lookup and leave when I step forward.

Tubes and cords hang from his body that lies helplessly in the bed. His leg's in plaster and his face is sporting several cuts and bruises. He's almost a shade of yellow with little life on his cheeks.

I try and muffle my crying my biting the back of my hand but when I make it to the seat next to the bed I can't hold onto it anymore. I take his cold hand in mine and stroke the back of his knuckles.

"You've got yourself into a spot of bother, haven't you CJ," I whisper, listening to the oxygen flow into his nose.

"I'm sorry I walked out like that. I didn't mean any of it. Truthfully I was scared but I bet you already knew that. You can read me like a book which is why I know you're it. Your my one." I cry hoping for some sign of movement but when nothing comes I carry on, " I love you so much it hurts. I love the way you smile at me when I do something stupid, I love the flecks of green in your icy blue eyes, I love the sprinkling of freckles that dot across your nose, I love everything about you. I can't live without you which is why, if you love me you need to wake up." I bring his limp hand into both of mine and squeeze gently, " You can't leave me because our story isn't over yet and I'm not finishing it on my own. I'm lost without you!" I kiss his hand and lean over to kiss the top of his head.

Not being able to live without someone isn't love, it's need. I need Colton like the sun needs the moon but I love him like the stars love the sky, they're always there... even when they die out.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 🎉

Thank you all for reading! I really hope you enjoyed the chapter, I just want to say my writing isn't perfect, I'm still leaning and since this is my first book I just want to say thank you for sticking with me and helping me out!

I'm also going to be uploading the aesthetics soon for Balance!!

Thanks for reading! Tap that star!
Iz x