The smell of strawberries wafts under my nose, the sound of soft snores pries my eyes open. I look down to find Gigi, buried in my chest sound asleep, my arms still around her small frame. Her hair flows across her face messily and her legs are tangled in between mine. I don't move, out of fear of losing her warmth and comfort. This is something I could wake up to every morning. She looks adorable sleeping peacefully. Her long eyelashes batting against her completely natural face. Her caramel infused hair tickles my nose. God, she's Beautiful. I've forgotten what it's like to have someone around me so much, someone to wake up to.

The last week's been hell. All I wanted to do was sit with her at breakfast and eat lunch with her or play guitar with her, write with her, be with... her. I surprised myself with how much I've actually missed her. Her laugh, her smile, the ability to make everything seem else so unproblematic, I know I was nasty but I needed to be a dick to her, I need her to see that I'm a horrible human and would do her more harm being around her than not. Like Tessa said, or implied, I'm damaged and I just want her to succeed.

I've watched her this week though, her light slowly getting dimmer with each day that passed, the media have put her through the wringer and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and protect her, I have this...urge to look after her, but I just couldn't. I heard her the other night when she thought she was alone. I heard her, not the music or the song, I heard what she was trying to say, what she wanted to say. She was hurting, badly, and with every line she sang the ache in my chest got bigger and bigger until I just had to hold her. I can't bear to see them berate her like that, It infuriates me to no end.

Last night when she and Will went out into the hallway I had to follow them, like this annoying naggy voice In my mind was telling me to go, something wasn't right. When we reached the end of the hallway some older guy stood there and Gigi just froze, he started speaking Italian and I could visibly see her tiny body shaking and hyperventilating, I knew she was about to have a panic attack and when she took off down the hall, it quickly confirmed my theory. At that moment I didn't care about being selfish and listening to Tessa, I couldn't give a shit about my career or anyone else, I wasn't going to let her go through this alone. I feel like a dick already for ignoring her before the shows this week and I knew this one was going to be bad so I followed her into a small unoccupied dressing room, her scrunched up sobbing body was trembling against the door. It scared me how bad she was and my first instinct was to wrap my arms around her and let her know she wasn't alone. I think it took her a few seconds to realise that there was actually someone in the room with her, she had zoned out completely and when I looked into her teary eyes they were distant and pained. My heart squeezed painfully at the sight. I tried talking to her but she couldn't give me any kind of answer about who that guy was without breaking down again. I defiantly didn't want to leave her alone so I bought her back to my suite, selfishly it was also because I missed her, more than I'd care to admit. She sat on my sofa, still distant as fuck, with her glassy eyes and tearstained cheeks. She then started sobbing about how she'd hurt me and how she had to focus. Hurt me? I was the one who'd been a dick all week!

She couldn't hurt me, she could never hurt me, I just missed her and didn't want to get in her way like Tessa warned. I'd end up hurting her and I just can't do that to her, especially after what she told me last night. I knew she was hiding something about her family but I never anticipated it to be that... heartwrenching. She sobbed her eyes out talking about her mom and her brother and how her dad left her. I could feel my fists twitching, I wanted to scream and shout and punch someone really badly all over the fact she was hurt and she'd had such a shitty upbringing. I don't think I've ever been this... protective over someone else before. How she still manages to keep going after everything she's been through is bewildering? Hell, I'm twenty-six and I still can't make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I now understand why she's so focused and 'uptight', hearing the hardships she's gone through makes me so fucking angry. The fact that she is practically a mother, she raised her brother and protected him at all costs, costs that make me want to shatter someone's face. My admiration and need for her grew by ten-time last night. She's so strong and caring, she deserves absolutely everything.

I know there are some things she's still holding back on, especially after I felt her arm last night and she defiantly doesn't want to talk about her past relationship but I'd never ever push her for it. The fact she even felt she could trust me with that much last night... I just have an even bigger urge to protect her now.

I watch her delicate eyelids flutter as she sleeps, her smooth hand's resting on my bare chest. The night she walked away from my hotel room was the night I realised that I need her more than she thinks and I want to be there for her, I want to do everything I can to see her beautiful smile, make her laugh, cuddle her when she's sad, feed her when she's hungry, help her succeed and be there to share the moment with her when she does.

But I can't, all I'd do is dim her and wear her down, break the remaining bit of spark she has left. I can't sabotage her chances at a career and a good life. I don't do relationships. She deserves so much more than what I can give her.

Reluctantly I roll away from her body, she stirs slightly and I already miss her warmth, her hair tickling my face and her smooth legs locked in mine. I know this is such a dick move but I can't be here when she wakes up, it's selfish but I can't see what I can't have. It hurts.

I spent the first few hours of the morning punching the shit out of a hanging bag, releasing all my frustration and anger onto the piece of leather before strolling into the hotel restaurant just in time to catch the end of breakfast. I pick up a few things from the buffet and slouch down at a free table. I push the two pieces of toast around the plate thinking about when I stole Gigi's toast, I smile to myself, god she was so vexed. Probably like she will be when she wakes up and finds the one person she bared her soul too has just fucked off and left her. That's exactly what she was afraid of too, she was scared I'd run away and low and behold that's exactly what I did. Fuck. I'm such a dick.

I groan into my hands as a palm makes contact with my back, slapping hard.

"WHAT THE-" I spin around fully ready to flatten the culprit responsible for touching me, but I'm met with the stupidest smirk I've ever seen.

"Hahaha, what's up man?" Jayden laughs perching himself in the seat opposite mine.

"Wait, what are you doing here?" I question sceptically, he's meant to be in Asia right now...

"Well I've got a few weeks off and I just couldn't miss out on the little party you're throwing for your lover." He wiggles his eyebrows, what the fuck, I can feel my cheeks... heating? I'm blushing? I do not blush. Nah I DO NOT blush.

"What? Okay, one how do you know about Gigi's party? It's supposed to be a surprise!' I let out another groan, another thing I've fucked up, "and two she is NOT, my lover, I don't do that shit bro. Relationships are a no go, you know that!" I say staring into my glass of orange juice.

"Whoa, take some fucking Adderall C! Firstly Will told me and I thought since I haven't actually met this wonder Woman who's got our Colty all flustered I figured it'd be a great chance to meet her and probably apologise after... well... what I said at Niki's." My mind wanders back to the first time we met and Jaydens sleazy comment, I glare at him gripping the edge of the table,

" Honest mistake Colt! Not here to try and steal your girl because let's be honest she's one hundred per cent your girl. I mean what other girls have you planned birthday partys for?"

My girl. My Gigi. I like the sound of that. I smile sheepishly.

Ugh, stop. She cannot be 'my girl'!

"Danm boy she's got you hook, line and sinker! I've never seen you so... happy! So infatuated! I also heard from a little birdy she's helping you write your own stuff again? I bet your fucking ecstatic about that, I haven't seen you write since you were seventeen! Like..." he pulls his fingers out... boy failed math, " FUCK. NINE YEARS. That's a long time, she's like your ickle light in your broody mind." He winks and I just roll my eyes at him, on the way around their socket they catch onto the tv hanging on the wall, Jayden notices my fixation on it and turns around to look too. TMZ is slating Gigi again. That anonymous interview came out last night and has some vile things in it, a lot of what she told me last night but with added shit and things I'm sure are not true. I'm going to find out who the fuck's said this shit and beat them to a fucking pulp if it's the last thing I do! And she's got to wake up and watch this alone, after I told her she was not alone. Wow, I really am the shittiest person in the world. This is why she needs to stay away from me. I huff at he TV slamming my fists against the table propelling myself up, I need to find Will. He can call my publicity team and we can... we can just sort it all out! Yeah, it'll be fine!

I march out into the lobby, Jayden hot on my tail. I quickly spot Will over by the reception desk, shielding from the mounds of paps outside the front door. Their cameras flash even more as they see me walk in. I move explicitly over towards Will only to be bought to a holt when I see the strands of brunette, honey hair resting on his chest.

Gigi.

He's hugging her closely whispering into her ear... I want to hug her.

Jayden catches up to me and slings his arm around my neck hanging off me like a goddam monkey.

"Ay Will's making a move on your lady!"

"Shut the fuck up you idiot, she's obviously upset and she's not my lady!" He snickers in my ear shaking his head.

"Oi Willam!" He shouts across the lobby, he pulls his head up from Gigi and slowly releases her, still keeping an arm protectively around her shoulders. She looks up and quickly averts her eyes from my direction, looking straight down at the floor, her soft hair covering her pale face. I can see the tear sains and puffy eyes from here. I shouldn't have left this morning, what is wrong with me?

"Well hey there pretty thang, I'm Jayden although you probably knew that. I know we haven't formally met but I was at the bar with Colty that night, you know." Jayden says pushing his hand out towards Gigi, her face darkening at the last part of his sentence.

"Yeah, I remember." She says bluntly, her eyes narrowed at him.

"Ha, yeah uh sorry about that. Don't blame me though. You're a sexy thing, blame my dick." He says rubbing the nape of his and winking at her. Little shit, I elbow him in the side.

"For christ sake Jayden!" Will says shaking his head, sliding a hand across his face.

"I can feel your body tensing from here bro! You need to chill! I'm not tryna take your girl!" A glint of humour in his eyes.

"She's not my-"

"I'm not his-" Me and Gigi quickly exclaim at the same time, both staring at the floor. I can feel Will and Jayden grinning like the smug pricks they are.

"Lets just, forget it yeah?" Gigi says shaking his hand, he quickly pulls her into a hug though, making her smile slightly. As he pulls away she grabs the top of his hoodie,

"But I swear if you ever say that again I will smash your face in. Capiche?" She says quietly, making me smile. Danm she really is a spitfire. Sexy as fuck.

"Capiche." He says laughing but obviously a little taken back by her threat.

"Hey look, now the guys are here why don't you all go out exploring the city or something? Have some fun, take your mind off everything." Will says, smiling lightly at her.

"And risk getting mobbed by those assholes? You are joking, right? I don't want to hear anything else they have to say about me." She says even quieter, occasionally glancing towards the glass doors at the front of the lobby.

"I'm just going to go back to my room." She says turning to leave and walking away quickly, hood pulled up over her head.

"She looks... rough..." Jayden says under his breath.

"Yeah she's not taking the whole media thing well, they are absolutely slaughtering her though, poor girl. This is bad, even bordering on worse than when all the stuff with Hailey came out. And all the shit with her dad, what kind of father leaves there child and comes back fifteen years later?" Will huffs looking visibly upset. I tense up at that name, he's right though. Even when our relationship got to the media it was really bad but this is just malicious.

"Yeah she's had it rough," I reply quietly, not wanting to have elaborate, she trusted me and I'm not about to blab about her home life.

"Gosh, compassion, that's the nicest thing I've seen you show all week." Will raises his eyebrow at me, " I know what Tessa said pissed you off Colton, she was way out of line and completely false. You seriously don't believe all that bull though?" I stare at him, unable to move my head, "Don't be so fucking stupid Colton! She's talking out of her ass." He leans in closer to me, "I've seen the way her eyes light up when your around, I see the way you help her the way you are with her and I also see the way your eyes glass over when shes here and fuck me, a few months with her and I hardly recognise you... you're more you." He walks off casually, grinning. I'm left there analysing his words, bewildered.

"He's right. She's changing you! The old non-assy Colton is coming back boyo!" Jayden wails in my ear. The kid is fucking wild. I shake my head and begin to drag him towards the lift.

"Oi fitty!" A loud voice travels across the lobby, me and Jayden look at each other sceptically stopping in our tracks, then race each other's heads around to see which one was being called 'fitty'.

Stood there, hand on her hip, dressed in a bright red bodycon with leopard print boots and dark sunglasses is Sofia, Jacob trailing behind her with both their suitcases.

"Where's my best friend?" she pouts.

"Holy fucking- who is that mama?" Jayden howels in my ear, scanning his eyes down her body and biting his lip.

I'd invited Sofia, Jacob and a few of Gigi's other friends and family for her birthday, they should be flying out within the next couple days but I flew those two out early after last night. Gigi could really use her friends right now.

"Hey Sofia, how was the flight?" I ask amicably, not quite sure what kind of mood she's going to be in... whether she wants to scream at me or ogle me.

"Great, private jet. Nice touch Hemmings! Now I should really be mad at you for the way you've been treating my girl this week and the fact you two haven't already made adorable babies but after evaluating a few things I can deduct you obviously do care about her so we will be having words later" She narrows her eyes and points two fingers back and forth between us, "But bring it in here, come on." She beckons me forward and pulls me into a hug, I can see why her and Gigi are friends.

I greet Jacob too and go to get them settled in with their room keys, Jayden slides up beside Sofia, watching her hungrily.

"Hey there hot stuff, was your daddy a theif because he stole all these diamonds and put them in your eyes." He winks, oh my god, he did not just use the worst pick up line ever. I furrow my brows at him, Sofa scoffs,

"Oh, Hunny if my daddy was a theif I sure as hell wouldn't have grown up in a shithole like Hackney. 2/10 for effort though." She winks at him before strutting off through the lobby flicking her hair off her shoulder.

"Sorry about her, she's temperamental." Jacob sighs grabbing the suitcase she left behind, "Hey massive fan tho man, me, Gi and Sof all are." He nods at Jayden before pulling the cases over to the elevators.

"Where has that woman been all my life?" He smiles clutching his heart.

Idiot. I mentally shake my head at him.

Me and Jayd spend the rest of the morning messing about in my suite whilst I fill him in on the past week, obviously strategically leaving out the brunt of last night. After a while, He starts raiding all the cupboards in the kitchen area in search of something to eat.

"Bro you haven't fed me in like four hours! Can we go out for lunch or something?" He pouts at me.

"Jay," I moan, he knows I don't like going out in different countries, I get lost and mobbed, " I don't like going out, I can't speak the language and we'll end up getting lost and fucking mobbed again."

"Okay moany, firstly I've always wanted to eat Pizza in Rome, it's like on my bucket list so being my best friend it's kinda your duty to take me in and feed me appropriately and two we know someone who can speak Italian." He wiggles his eyebrows at me, I swear to god, the conniving shit.

"Jayden! I've literally just told you I need to stay away from her!"

"Don't be a dick, come on." He rolls his eyes and drags me out of my room, picking up our key cards on the way out. I drag my heels along the carpet like a five-year-old whos been denied sweets before dinner, sulking.

Jayden grins proudly at me before banging his knuckles on another hotel room door.

"Housekeeping." He mimics in a high pitched voice. The door swings open and Sofia stands there, hand on her hip again, one eyebrow raised.

"Well hello mammi," He winks at her, she's trying to hide it but that swoon was so obvious," Look me and Colt want to go out for lunch and we were wondering if you guys wanted to come?" He asks, I try and peer around the doorway looking for her, suddenly she pops up beside Sofia, she still looks elf-like next to her de-heeled friend.

"Actually we were going to go out exploring, so yeah we could all go together?" Sofia says enthusiastically.

"Nope. Nope, I'm not leaving this room, you guys have fun. Bye." She pulls her hood further down her head and turns to weave back into the room suddenly being met with a tweed-clad chest,

"Nah Squishy, we're all going out, you're not staying cooped up again... you smell." He winces next to her gaining him a thump, "Let's put that Italian to good use because I am starving." She sulks down from Jacob who's stopping her from getting back inside.

"Come on, don't disappoint Anto!" Sofia says smirking and wiggling her brows.

"Vaffanculo," She says quietly and groans.

"Oi, you whore! I know what that means," Sofia jabs her finger at her.

"You'll be fine, we'll all be with you," I say lightly grabbing her arm, her sparkly blue eyes look up slightly then back at the floor.

"Fine." She says pulling away from my touch and turning into the room again. There's a collective cheer. I try not to be disappointed at her blunt dismissal of me, I deserve it.

"Thank you," Sofia directs to me, "I haven't seen her this bad in... a while..." she says dragging the last part out, Jacob nudges her and glares shaking his head, silencing her. She quickly peps up clapping her hands together,

"Right Giovanna get out of that hideous hoodie and let's get you into something that says I'm too sexy for Italian chic!" Sof shouts wiggling her fingers as she reenters the room. 

Hey guys! I hope you've all had a good week! Since i've got a week off school i thought i'd post early but i'm also posting another chapter tommorow so look out! I really hope you enjoy this chapter, i'm loving writing their chemisty at the moment, they are actually so cute but Coltons in the dog house again! 

Please vote and follow me! All my socials are down below! 

Thanks so much for reading!

Iz x