The past few weeks have flown by, It's been a whirlwind, and I have to pinch myself to make sure this isn't a dream. I've been in and out of the studio working on my EP, helping Colton write and getting things ready for the tour. On top of that, I'm still working at Niki's in the evenings, I feel its only right, just until I leave as I'm going to be leaving her short-staffed and she's done so much for me in the past. It took me a good week before I was able to go back to work and actually it was Colton who helped me sort of... I still hadn't told him what happened that night, he tried to ask me again but I changed the subject. Helping him write has also helped me write too and by breaking Colton's emotions into song I was able to do that to my own too. I never usually have a problem with putting my feelings into songs but I found it near impossible trying to write about what happened without having a panic attack again. I still get overly paranoid when at Niki's, always looking over my shoulder but I'm slowly working my way through it.

As for working with Colton, it's been surprisingly fun, I have no idea why the label hasn't let him write before, he's great at it and has a lot of things I feel he's been forbidden to say or talk about. We spend a lot of our time in the studio plucking melodies or spitballing random lyrics, underneath the arrogant demeanour there's defiantly a softcore, I still feel there's some sort of blockade between us though like he's holding back from something, there's always 'off' days when he's back to being the first Colton I met and when I ask him what's wrong he completely brushes me off and as soon as I try and delve deeper into the meanings and emotions behind his lyrics he starts to open up then snaps closed quicker than pandora's box. That being said he's been trying hard to apologise for what happened with the press, sometimes if we're working late we'll find some small bar or café to get food in near the studio, he pays every time even though he'll always find something to complain about- he's not used to slumming it with the poor but it's still nice, when he's not complaining, to spend time just chilling out with someone new.

If somebody had told me I'd be sitting in Weatherspoons with Colton Jax eating a seven-pound burger five weeks ago, I would have laughed in their face, but here we are...

" Okay I admit this is okay..." he says bitting into his burger,

"Shut up! This is more than okay! Spoons is the holy grail of being British! If you don't like spoons in this country its a sin!" I say poping another chip into my mouth.

He chuckles and takes a swig of his beer,

"This country is so weird."

"Hey, don't hate us coz you ain't us CJ" I reply wiggling my brows, he nearly spits his beer out his mouth and starts laughing.

"That is the worst thing I've ever heard Lastra are you ten? And for the love of all that is mighty, stop calling me CJ I'm not ten."

"Never," I reply with a wink.

He hates it when I call him CJ, he said it was one nickname he's gotten away with not having until I came along and it makes him sound like a ten-year-old boy. Just knowing it annoys him makes me feel slightly amused.

Suddenly a large eruption comes from the bar area, tones of men have their pint glasses raised in the air whilst they slap each other on the back,

"What's going on there?" Colton asks,

"Oh, it's the football... or what you Americans call, stupidly may I add, soccer. I'm presuming Chelsea have just scored." I say nonchalantly putting on the worst American accent ever.

"Why is it stupid?"

"Because shirt boy, it is called football because you kick a ball- with your foot, hence football but for some reason, you call it soccer and don't get me started on American football, you have to take it and claim it as yours by putting 'American' in front of it and use it for a completely different sport when you use your hands for most of it, not even your foot!"

"Hey! Do not insult American football! The NFL is the heart of America, I'll take you to a game one day and then you can see how elite it is compared to you're pathetic football." He mocks.

Did he just say he'd take me to a game...

The air seemed to get really thick for a minute, Colton realising what he'd said and probably wishing he hadn't.

"Well, the whole tour team... I'm sure we have a show around one of the NFL dates so I can get us VIP and we can all go..."

Of course, he didn't, he meant the whole team dummy.

"So uhh... Do you support a team...?" he asks trying to go back to football.

"Eh sort of, when we were younger Soifas older brother used to take us to matches when our parents were ...working, or we'd watch the matches on TV with him so I've been bought up a 'Gooner' but I don't really watch it anymore. I do love other sports though... F1 in particular... bit of a guilty pleasure..." I wince at the last bit, I love Formula one, I used to watch it with Sofia's dad and brother all the time and that one really stuck, I sometimes make Jacob watch it with me... which he hates.

"A Gooner?" he questions

"Arsenal," I say and he nods,

"F1's not that big in the US, its more NASCAR But I did get to watch a race last year in Texas when I toured... I even got to go down to the pits and meet Lewis Hamilton." He gives an insouciant shrug like its normal.

"WHAT THE FUCK COLT. That's insane! I'm beyond jealous right now!!" I leap out of my chair and practically shout at him, he laughs at my little fangirl moment. I quickly sit back down noticing the many pairs of eyes that have also just witnessed my moment.

"I've only been to one race and that was at Silverstone, Bleu took me a few years ago for my birthday and it was the best thing ever! I am beyond jealous!" I lean across the table with a slightly more hushed tone.

He opens his mouth to reply when a group of twenty-year-olds come trotting over in their heels, tipsy on a cheap pitcher of some kind, judging by their age probably sex on the beach. They're all dressed up in tight skirts and flashy dresses, making me look at my own pathetic attire, tatted airforces and ripped jeans and re-evaluate my life choices. They've all got their phones in their hands and beaming smiles on their faces, they reach the table and let out some high-pitched squeals.

"Hi uhh, omg this is so crazy." One of them says, stuttering,

"I can't believe we're talking to Colton Jax, you're even fitter in person!" Another gushes, placing her hands on the table.

Colton just sits there, smiling slightly, but disappointment seeps through his pupils which confuses me, whereas I just feel awkward.

"Can we please take a picture with you!" another one asks, pushing past the others and getting close to Colton, who tries to back the furthest he can into the leather booth.

"Oh uhmm..." he looks so uncomfortable with her necklaces now dangling over his chest. They all look at him with Bambi eyes whilst he looks like he wants to run away... let's have some fun with this...

"He'd love too! wouldn't you... CJ" I wink at him and place my glass of diet Pepsi to my lips to conceal my chuckle.

"Oh my gosh thank you, would you mind-" The girl dangling over Colton turns to me and pauses, analysing me, "Hold up... you're Gigi Lastra right! Omg shut up, I follow you on Instagram, your music is insane girl! I can not wait for your EP to come out, I've been counting down all month! Can I get a picture with you too!" All the heeled girls are now looking at me nodding and Colton is now smirking. I'm sat here completely speechless, people actually know me and they want to take pictures with... me? Have they mistaken me for someone else?

"You'd love too! Wouldn't you spiller?" He winks back at me and doesn't even try to conceal humour.

"Uh, are you sure..?" I ask, still wondering if they've mistaken me for someone else.

"Duh, Not This Time got me through my last break up... I can't tell you how many times I wanted to text him back but then I listened to your song and I was like NO don't do it. You saved me making the biggest mistake of my life! Your songs are so fucking good! " I chuckle, these girls are so sweet, I've never realised how far my music gets and how it affects people.

"Honestly, it's so nice to have an artist we can all relate too, one who writes about real things and is honest, an actual good person... I was so happy when I heard you're going on tour and releasing more music! It's about bloody time!" Another one says and the rest nod, my cheeks redden, I'm not used to being told stuff like this, unless its from Sofia or Jacob and then its just biased.

"Well thank you guys, that really means a lot," I say shyly rubbing my neck.

We spent the next few moments taking pictures with the girls who then saunter off to get another pitcher of their poison.

"You look like you've seen a bloody ghost, Spiller," Colton says finishing his chips.

My face has probably paled in shock, my heads still reeling over the fact I have fans... real-life people who actually listen to my music... and even better, they like it!

"It's just kinda crazy, you know?"

He shakes his head,

"Ah spoken like a true first-timer, you'll get bored of it soon, I can't even get milk without getting mobbed."

"Nah I don't think I ever will, it'll always be insane to me that people actually want to listen to my music and have an interest in me. And since when do you even get milk, your PA gets you everything." I jab my fork at him.

"Why are you so shocked? Your good Londoner, and for that reason exactly is why I don't do my own shopping... you can't blame me! The fans are fucking rabid and we wouldn't want anything else happening to my beautiful face would we?" he leans back in his seat.

"Wow, you're so selfless." Sarcasm pouring off my tongue, "So I'm not a talentless slut then?" I snarl, his face drops, his deep blue pools finding mine in shame locking on with such intensity

"No of course not, I'm still so so-"

"Sorry? I know Shirt boy, it's okay... it's all forgiven don't worry." I smile at him and break eye contact, staring down at the rings of red onion on my plate.

It still hurt a bit what Colton said and I think it always will but he's really been trying to make up for it and I understand now that he wasn't just angry at me, he was angry at the whole situation. Was it right for him to do that? No. But just from what he's told me so far, I can gather the label control a lot of what he does and it sounds like it takes a toll on him so I'm trying to understand what makes him... well, a bit of a prick sometimes...

He clears his throat,

"Are you excited for tomorrow?"

I suck in a deep breath and fall back onto the sticky leather on the booth seat, am I excited? I've released music before but on such a small scale, this is my first actual EP released by an actual label, I'm actually signed too. There's so much riding on how well it does, it could be released and never see the light of any chart, shot down immediately because it's shit meaning I could loose my possible album deal or even my contract at the label. My pulse quickens, heightening my breathing, I've been having frequent panic attacks for the past few weeks just thinking about it. I really don't want to give my mum the satisfaction of being right but after the other night, I just feel like nothing I'm ever going to put out will ever be good enough.

Sensing my inner panic Colt leans on the table bringing his face closer to mine,

"Hey, stop overthinking it, and don't worry! I'm sure it'll do great. I haven't listened to the EP but the songs you've been working on when we write together are amazing Gigi! You have absolutely nothing to worry about if they're like that, which I have no doubt they are! You'll drive yourself insane if you constantly worry about the numbers on the charts."

He scoffs then looks down at his glass rim and runs his finger around it,

"Do you... worry about the numbers?" I ask timidly,

He doesn't make eye contact and shifts in his seat, he's silent for a few long moments before he takes a small breath and speaks up,

"It's hard not to when the labels breathing down your neck constantly, telling you what to do all the bloody time... anyway, it's getting late." He starts to shrug his blue bomber jacket on.

That there is a flicker of whats beneath his arrogant demeanour, you can see in his eyes the hurt and pain but it dissolves in seconds when he closes himself up like a venus fly trap. There's more than meets the eye with CJ and like the true Taurus I am, I am determined to get it out of him... seeing him write is like watching a waterfall, he flows with all these great ideas and powerful lyrics but it's only once you've walked under the flowing water you'll get to what's hidden behind.

I grab my coat and trail a few steps behind him, his six-foot frame is so hard to keep up with sometimes considering I'm a midget. We step outside the building into the cold dark night, it's clear and in the middle of the tall buildings lining the streets, the stars twinkle and dance about under the moon's rays. A gust of wind hits my body causing me to falter back a little bit, I've got a small jacket on which isn't doing much to stop my bones rattling. My teeth chatter like little soldiers marching into parade. Colton looks lost scanning up and down the street, he then sheepishly turns to me,

"Uh... where can we get a cab?" I chuckle a bit and wander to the edge of the pavement, watching the traffic until.. finally...

"TAXI" I shout waving my arms about, the black cab pulls up and the curb and I usher a rather stunned Colton into the backseat,

"I'll see you tomorrow then," I say going to close the cab door,

"Uhm where are you going?" He scoots across the seats and grabs my arm, dragging me with little force into the cab with him.

"What the hell Colton! I was going to get the tube!" I say shoving his hand off my arm.

"Not alone at this time of night, I just wouldn't be able to sleep at night knowing your out in the cold streets alone begging for help." Sarcasm laces his words, another deflective technique I notice he uses, I roll my eyes.

"Where to lad?" The cabbie asks peering over his shoulder, Colton gestures at me to tell him my address,

" Just the end of Charlton Place please," I say eyeing Colton, the cabbie hurls his thumb in the air and puts the car in first gear.

"This is so out of your way Colton!" I say feeling guilty.

"Eh, I'd rather you get home safe than care about a stupid Cab fare doll," he shrugs and turns his face towards the window watching a cyclist whizz by. 

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Hope you and all your families are staying safe and healthy during this time especially with such hot weather, it's boiling here in the UK and its meant to be thundering next week!

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As always thank you for reading and I hope you carry on this journey until the end with me!

Thank you!

Iz x