* Disclaimer- All language translations are in italics next to an asterisk. I do not speak Italian so I understand some of it might not be 100% right, my apologies but they are as close as I can get! Enjoy!

The whole table stares at me with wide eyes, open-mouthed, like I've just committed the most heinous crime. Nobody says a word, I turn my head to look at Mr Castro who's still behind me with a confused expression on his face, I guess this guy doesn't get told no very often... but then again not many people have to 'think' about the offer I'm being handed on a plate.

"Wow, can you be any more ungrateful? People way more talented than you would kill to be in this position. I would kill to have someone more talented on MY tour." Colton scoffs.

My blood boils, I can see the cartoon steam coming out of my ears, my fists clench into a ball by my sides and I can feel the tension building in my jaw. It takes everything in me not to lean across the table and strangle him. Instead, I let my anger boil over and end up screwing things up for myself,

"I have your card. I'll let you know by the end of the week." I snap at the table.

I push myself out of the chair and storm out of the room into the hallway not looking back at the angry executive faces.

What the fuck did I just do?

I cup my head in my hands and back myself against the wall of the lift. I can feel the tears pricking in the corner of my eyes. I have probably just thrown away the best thing that's ever happened to me, and all because some dickhead pissed me off. Fuck I'm so disappointed in myself, I'm so angry with myself but I have to think about Luca and mum.

The tears are now trickling down my cheeks as I reach the reception level of the building. I run out of the lift not stopping before I'm out of the building where my body is now shaking. I can see Sofia and Jacob running towards me through my tear blurred vision. They embrace me just as my knees go weak and start to buckle.

Who storms out a meeting like that, he's right I am so unprofessional, even if I said yes, they would never sign me now, you've shown your true colours and everyone can see what a failure you are.

Well, Gigi, you've fucked up literally everything in your life now so well done.

My body is shaking in-between Sofia and Jacob who have created a cocoon around me from the passing people on the street who like to stare. I sob violently into Sofia's fur jacket as she strokes my hair. My body is completely controlled by the anxiety that's burning through my veins, coursing through my body.

I can feel Jacobs hand rubbing up and down my back, but I can't control the tears that are streaming down my cheeks, falling onto the cold, concrete floor under our huddled bodies.

I'm not sure how long we stood there for, Sofia and Jacob gave up trying to ask me questions and were just waiting for me to stop crying. Eventually, I manage to lift my head up meeting their eyes laced with worry.

My throat is dry and swollen from my sobs and I can barely regulate my breathing, I open my mouth to speak, managing four words before the uncontrollable tears start up again,

" I... fucking blew it." The words struggle out before I collapse onto Sofia's shoulder.

I can hear the tapping of shoes surrounding me as leather boots and plimsoles strike the pavement, I tune into that to try and calm down. Sofia's fruity perfume fills my nostrils which is soon accompanied by the smell of her coconut shampoo as I burry my head further into the crook of her neck.

"I've ruined... everything. why... am I.... such a fuck up" I stutter, muffled by the black fluff of Sofia's coat.

"Gigi listen to me babe, you are not a fuck up, you never have been and never will be." She coos in my ear caressing my cheek that's turned away from her body.

"Why don't we go have a seat somewhere, I can get you an iced tea and you can tell us what happened?" Jacob asks still stroking my back.

Okay, an Ice tea did sound pretty fucking great right now.

I pull my head off Sofia's shoulders, Jacob wipes his thumb under my lower lash line, his tongue pokes out the corner of his mouth showing his concentration not to jab my eye. Sofia uses her sleeve to dab my cheeks, she then reaches into her small, cheater print side bag and pulls out some pressed powder and a powder brush. She dips the brush into the powder then swirls it around my cheeks. I let out a little sniffle as she starts to re-apply my lipstick, she smiles sweetly and cups my face, placing a wet kiss on my nose, warmth springs from my heart. I sniffle once more in-between saying,

"Can we go to Antonio's?"

Fresh pizza dough fills the air, the smell of sweet tomato's wafts around us, garlic overpowers the room, the sweet smell of Italian is enclosing in on us. I take a deep breath through my nose and smile; these smells always make me feel so calm and safe and makes this place just feel so homely. Ivy hangs up and down the brick walls, falling onto rusting tin signs. Yellow fairy lights drape across the ceiling, illuminating the rustic restaurant, shinning off the polished wooden floors. A blue withered bookcase sits in an alcove right at the back of the room, dusty books with old, floppy covers filled the shelves. Many days I've sat at the table in front of it and read the books cover to cover, some of them in Italian some of them in English. I turn my head to the wooden bar on the right, metal high stools under the countertop that's riddled with cardboard placemats give the place charm. There's a large mirror behind the bar that's been engraved with Italian writing, shelves upon shelves of Italian and English liquors on each side of it. The big pizza oven emits heatwaves that ripple under my thin blazer against my chilled skin. There's not many people in the restaurant as its only late afternoon, Antonio's is usually packed by eight PM though, usually, you have to call at least 3 weeks in advance for a reservation, it's one of the most successful Italian restaurants in London.

" Ahh ciao mia principessa!"

*Hello my princess

A middle-aged Italian man moves towards us with his arms extended in the air, weaving between tables. He's got a white apron around his waist, stained with various different smudges of colours. He's slicked his jet-black hair back and he twiddles a wooden toothpick in-between his lips. He smiles brightly which draws attention to his 5' o'clock shadow covering his cheek and chin.

"Grazie al signore, siete tutti qui, mi sei mancato, la mia giornata è stata così noiosa!"

*Thank the lord you are all here, I missed you, my day was so boring!

He exclaims dramatically, moving his arms in the air before he clutches his chest where his heart is causing me to giggle slightly.

Always the drama with Antonio.

"Antonio" Jacob shouts gleefully as he pulls him into a 'bro hug' slapping him on the back a few times. Antonio air kisses each of Jacobs's cheeks before moving onto Sofia embracing her in a bear hug, Sofia joins his air kisses, over-exaggerating them in typical Sofia style.

"It's great to see you, my friends," he says pulling away from Sofia in his thick Italian accent.

Finally, he grabs my shoulders, giving me a little shake,

"Gigi my..." he pauses noticing my tear-stained cheeks and smudged mascara, his joyful expression clouds with worry and sadness,

"Amore mio, che c'è che non va, che ti fa male, prenderò felicemente la mia pizza trancia e taglierò il loro ..."

*My love what's wrong? Who's hurt you? I will happily take my pizza slicer and cut their

" Nessuno Antonio, sto bene, davvero, ho davvero bisogno del tuo tè freddo." I reply trying to choke down the tears.

*Nobody Antonio, I'm fine, really, I really need your ice tea

He places his hand on my cheek, wiping a tear that had escaped my metaphorical barricade.

"Bambina mia, sei tutt'altro che soddisfacente. non vedo il tuo bel sorriso. Venire. Di 'allo zio Antonio tutto sul mio tè freddo, lampone?"

*My child you are far from fine, I don't see your beautiful smile. Come. Tell uncle Antonio everything. You want raspberry?

I smile watching him take my hand and start to lead us over to the bar area,

"You guys want peach, lemon, mango, raspberry?" he shouts over his shoulder referring to ice tea.

"Mango and raspberry please Anto," Jacob replies for him and Sof.

" Nessun problema" he calls as we reach the bar.

*no problem

I plop myself down into one of the metal stools, chills run up my thighs as my skin makes contact with the cold seat. Sofia and Jacob take a stool either side of me. I place my elbows on the sticky bar and drop my chin into my hands. Antonio starts mixing things in a blender behind the bar. I pull my phone out of the pocket of my blazer and place it on the damp placemat scanning the lock screen just in case. I have a missed call from an unknown number but I really don't care nor have the energy to call them back, if it was that important they would have left a message.

Anton places the cool drinks in front of us, the vibrant liquid is mixed with ice and topped with a mint leaf. I take a much-needed sip which cools my raspy throat, Antonio walks over to the bar resting down a pad and a tea towel,

"Right then il Mio Amore tell us what's wrong."

Antonio is my godfather, my dad's best friend apparently, or was my dads best friend. When my dad left, he left us both. Antonio's told me hundreds of stories about them, especially when they moved from Italy to London, he tries to paint my dad as some kind of good guy, but no good guy leaves their child or best friend. My dad left my mum and me when I was 4 so I don't remember him and any picture I had of him; mum burnt. After he left, she started going off the rails, drugs, alcohol, meaningless relationships and for that, I've always hated him. My mum used to tell me he had a new family back in Italy and didn't want me which is why he moved back. After he left Antonio really helped me and mum out, he really stepped up as my father figure... until mum cut him off, she said he reminded her too much of my dad and it was too painful. I kept seeing him in secret though, to this day my mum has no idea we're still really close. Antonio's one of the very few people I trust with my heart, he's the one who taught me how to speak Italian, he says 'there's no point being half Italian if you can't speak the language". I've spent most of my life sat at one of these tables with him, learning Italian, playing games, showing him my music or just talking to him. He's so wise, sometimes too wise and bloody snarky but he treats me like I'm one of his own children and I will never be more grateful than I am to him. I remember, in particular, the day Sofia broke my guitar string I came to the restaurant crying, he shut it up straight away and took me across London to find some new strings, he then listened to me shred an awful song for the next hour once he'd fixed it. He's not in contact with my dad either but he tells me he now owns one of the biggest leading companies in Italy, not that I really care, it's not like he does. Antonio and his wife Marsha also make the best Italian food in London, I think I have a literal addiction to their ice tea and cannoli's, Anto says it's just my Italian genes trying to breakthrough.

Between sips of cold ice tea and floods of tears, I tell them all about the meeting and what they offered me, to me storming out because of Colton Jax.

"oh, Piccola mia" Anto sighs wrapping his arms around my body,

"Sono così fottuto Anto, tutto quello che faccio lo faccio fottere"

*I'm such a fuck up Anto, everything I do I fuck it up

I sob into his shirt, he has a familiar smell of garlic and expensive cologne, they shouldn't go together, but they work on him.

"Non dire mai che la mia principessa, NON sei un coglione! Se non riescono a vedere quanto sei alto è la loro perdita. Hai avuto tutto il diritto di uscire dopo quello che ha detto quell'asino. ho intenzione di strozzare il ragazzo quando gli metto le mani addosso."

*Never say that my princess, you are NOT a fuck up. If they can't see how talented you are it's their loss. You had every right to storm out after what that ass said to you. I am going to throttle that boy when I get my hands on him.

He cups my cheeks in his hands locking his deep brown eyes with mine,

"Your whole life mia ragazza you've not only been a parent to Luca, but you've been the parent to your mother, you've never been given a break, you had to mature at such a young age. You didn't get to do what normal teenagers did and you're always putting other people before yourself. Now is the time to put yourself first il Mio bambino." He says

"He's right, now is the time to be selfish," Jacob says placing his hand on my arm.

"But what happens if Luca needs me? Or something happens to mum? How will you guys be able to pay the rent if I'm not here? And what about my Jobs, I can't leave Niki short-staffed and if I fail at music, I won't have a job to come back to at Berkeley's!"

"oh, Mio oh Mio" Antonio exclaims clutching his head, "Bambina Luca isn't your job, you are not his parent, your mother thinks she can rely on you whilst she gets high, this will be a chance for her to step up! And I'm always here!"

"Yea and Bleu will be taking him to school and checking in on him, he will also pay your share of rent whilst your away!" Sofia chimes, it makes me chuckle because she probably hasn't even asked Bleu yet.

"Niki knew about this long before you did babe, she was telling me about it and she'll be more pissed if you pass this up then if you leave her short-staffed and fuck Berkeley's, you hate it there anyway. You won't fail."

Niki knew, that bitch! He's right about Berkeley's I do hate it there but there are so many things that could go wrong if I leave.

"You'll make the right decision, you always do baby, just listen more to what your heart wants instead of your brains protests, ora Voglio vedere il tuo bel sorriso! Let's make pizza!"

*Now I want to see your beautiful smile

Antonio says leading us behind the counter to where the dough sits in neat balls.

See, life's problems are always solved by pizza. I can't lie and say it didn't make me feel better, but my mind was still whirring with ifs and buts... that's if they still want to sign me after the way I walked out...

The four of us spent the next hour making pizzas and dough balls, more tomato puree ended up on my face rather than on my pizza though thanks to Sofia trying to be funny.

"Jacob you've got flour on your face, you idiot." Sofia chuckles pointing to his cheeks which have white marks on them,

"Oh, yea, who put it there Miss Clumsy?" Jacob stands with his hands on his hips, I dip my hand into a bag of flour and pick up some of the fine dust,

"Well Sofia..." she turns to face me, I launch the white dust right into the centre of her face,

"Who's got flour of their face now?" I stick out my tongue at her like a 5-year-old.

Sofia dramatically coughs and splutters holding onto the countertop whilst me and Jacob cripple over in fits of laughter, I can even hear Anto laughing as he puts the pizzas in the massive pizza oven with a long spatula thing, I never know the actual name of.

"Alright bitch, well you've got pineapple on your Pizza... and that is disgusting!" she shouts at me.

Antonio starts ranting loudly in Italian, he turns to me

" She's right, how dare you call yourself Italian when you put that vergognosa stuff on your pizza, cazzo Giovanna!" his face scrunches in disgust which makes all three of us laugh, Antonio always rambles in Italian when he's upset or annoyed, I'm fluent yes but I can't understand half the stuff he says when he goes off on one.

Jacob and I put the dough balls into the oven and start tidying the workspace we used, I know Enzo, the head chef, would not be happy about us cooking in his space... he likes to call himself a perfectionist but really, he's just obnoxious. Sofia's busy setting the far table, next to the bookcase, with cutlery and condiments, trying to wriggle out of having to help clean up. The evening staff are starting to clock in for their shifts now so the bars more crowded and the kitchen area is overrun with food prep, Jacob and I leave the counter, saying hi to a few friendly faces on the way, and weave ourselves to the back of the restaurant where Sofia's now sat down, scrolling through her phone. She looks up as we take our seats,

"Bleus going to drop Luca round to ours in a bit for a few hours." she chews on an olive; I acknowledge her with a nod. I pull out my phone and snap a picture of Jacob and Sofia for my Instagram tagging Antonio's as the location. Suddenly a high-pitched scream fills the empty restaurant,

"Auntie Gigi!" a small olive skin boy in dungarees runs towards me,

"Hey, baby!" I catch him in my arms and swing him up onto my hip, placing a big sloppy kiss on his cheek.

"Alessio what have I told you? Indoor voice please!" Marsha, Antos wife says to him once she's reached our table, she embraces me in a hug,

"How are you, honey? Ant told me about your meeting."

I appreciate her asking but I don't think I can really go through it all again, I just shrug with a small smile, she seems to understand because she places a kiss on my forehead and rubs my back sympathetically.

Marsha and Alessio sit down at the table with us. She loves gossiping with Jacob and Sofia as much as she does with me, Ale sits on my lap and I ruffle through his hair whilst he runs a plastic car across the table. Antonio brings over our pizzas and dough balls and rushes off as the restaurant is starting to fill up now. Alessio probably eats more of my pizza than I do but I don't mind because he's a pineapple person like me, that's Marsha's fault, she's not Italian either, she comes from Croydon.

"Where are the other muppets, shouldn't they have finished school yet?" I address Marsha after she's finished her conversation about the price of denim with Sofia. Marsha and Anto have four kids. Marcelo's the oldest he's sixteen and could probably write a dictionary on anything to do with computers and gaming, then there's Apollo he's fourteen and a complete football star, I wouldn't be surprised if he made the big leagues by the time he's eighteen, lastly, there's Jade, thirteen and my little shopping buddy, she's a spitting image of me when I was thirteen, mouthy and desperate to grow up and obviously there's Alessio the 3-year-old who's madder than a box of frogs.

"Marcelo's gone to his friend Deans, Apollos got football practice and Jades at drama club," she says stealing another slice of my pizza.

I nod understandingly but really, I'm disappointed, I knew that those three would be able to turn my frown upside down, they always do mad kids.

We finish our food and say goodbye to Marsha and Antonio, Alessio insists he walks me to the door, placing his tiny hand in mine he leads us into the cold chilly air, the sun has set, and the road is lit up by streetlights and shop signs. Sofia links her arm in mine, and we set off full stomached to the nearest tube station.

I pull a bag of Safari animals chicken shapes out of the bottom freezer draw catching my hand on the small specs of frosty ice hanging from the draw above. Luca is sat on the edge of the sofa next to Jacob who's bouncing up and down holding a gaming controller, he offered to play Mario Karts with him, Luca is in the lead but guaranteed Jacob will say later he let him win, his concentration lines forming on his forehead tell me different though. Sofia's sat at the kitchen island working on what I can presume is her portfolio, she has numerous images of me and Jacob in outfits she designed spread out across the entire marble surface, along with a stack of paperwork I have to get done for Mr Berkeley the island is covered in a forest of paper, I have to make a space to put down a baking tray to put Lucas dinner on. I'm singing quietly to one of my favourite playlists that are playing through the speaker in the kitchen.

"What do you want with your animal shapes, Lucey?" I shout over to him,

He keeps his small finger wrapped tightly around the black PS4 Controller and squints at the TV,

"Chips and uhmmm..."

"Baked beans?" I finish for him pulling a tin out of the cupboard over the sink, he nods.

I place the chicken shapes and chips into the oven and wait for them to brown before I put the beans into the microwave watching them move round in a circle under the dim light, listening to the machine buzz.

Sofia leans across the table to grab my phone and turns up the volume of the current song playing- Best Thing I Ever had by Beyoncé

"Oof I love this song, sing it to me, Gigi, get your Beyoncé on!" She says placing more pictures on the island, swaying her hips in her chair and I sing along to the song for her.

The harsh rings from the doorbell sound through the apartment,

"Jacob can you get that," I say holding the bowl of beans.

He sighs and drops the controller wandering off down the hallway to the door. I finish plating up Luca's food as Jacob re-enters the room with a sheepish expression rubbing his arm,

"Uhm Gigi," he says, unable to hear as I belt out the top notes in the chorus...

* Disclaimer- All language translations are in italics next to an asterisk. I do not speak Italian so I understand some of it might not be 100% right, my apologies but they are as close as I can get!

Hey guys!

Hope you enjoyed seeing more into Gigi's Heritage and backstory, Antonio is one of my favourite characters!

But who's at the door?

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Iz x