POV Akhyra

On Monday, I send a message asking Hannah and Valentino to come in earlier than usual. Since Enchanted Shadows debuted, Hannah has been shooting a vlog series about my morning routines, including exercises, meal prep, and a Q&A session for the subscribers who are either ballet dancers or simply lovers of the art. 

I'm sitting on the couch when I hear them come in. I had given Hannah a double key because I don't like to be disturbed by opening the door during my morning exercises.

They both seem to be discussing a movie that they saw in theaters the night before. Hannah makes a joke about how Valentino gripped her hand tighter during a particularly scary sequence. 

"I was just checking on you," he protests.

"That's what you were also doing when you ducked behind the bucket of popcorn?"

"In my defense, I did not pick the movie." 

They're still at it when they walk into the living room. They briefly greet me before resuming their banter as Valentino helps her set up the filming equipment. 

"I still can't believe you found a wild beast good-looking." He shakes his curly head in mock disappointment. 

Hannah lets out an offended gasp. "A werewolf isn't a wild beast."

"Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realize they were just big fuzzy cats craving for belly rubs."

"That's exactly what they are."

"Since that's your thing, should I start growing hair everywhere and only speak to you in growls and grunts?"

A short moment of stunned silence hangs between them before they burst out laughing. There's a painful twist in my chest when I realize that I'm going to miss having their energy around.

"Elliot and Eden, can you please come over here."

They both sober up quickly and throw me astonished glances. I haven't used their real names in ages. When they sit down opposite me, it's easy to notice how nervous they are. It's best to get this over quickly.

"These are for you," I say, pointing toward the two manilla envelopes on the coffee table. 

They look at each other before grabbing them, and even as they open it, I can tell they're trying their best not to ask what's inside. Their eyes roam over the documents, and I notice the exact moment that they understand what's going on when clear disbelief paints their face as they look up at me.

"You're firing us?" Hannah asks bewildered. 

"I'm not firing you. This is simply a termination of contract because I don't require your services anymore."

Props to my lawyer for sending these via email at five when I called him. 

"I don't understand why you're doing this now," Valentino interjects. "You're in the middle of a media storm, and soon it will get bigger when you release that video about Ambrose Montgomery that we shot the other night. That's not the time to get rid of your strategic team."

"Did we do something?" Hannah asks.

I can taste their hurt. My chin wobbles slightly and I take a subtle deep breath to chase away any tear threatening to spill over. Even if it's hard to let them go, I have to remain strong. I can't wait for them to suddenly realize that they're tired of working for me and quit. After Simone and Lucian, I can't risk letting people I care about pushing me away anymore.

"You did nothing wrong," I clarify. "I value all the work you've accomplished during your employment for the past two years, and I've put recommendation letters inside the envelopes as well as your annual bonus. Eventually, every good partnership has to come to an end. And that's the end of ours."

They continue looking at me as if my words are not quite making sense. Then finally Hannah speaks up in a quivering voice. "So no vlog today? It's the final day of Enchanted Shadows."

I shake my head. "No vlog today."

I don't have the energy to perform for the cameras when I'll have to be strong for the audience this evening. I want to be left alone. Completely.

I watch them put the equipment back in their bag in an eerie silence, their faces glum. When they arrive at the door, I catch a bit of their conversation. 

"I'm not ready for this to be over," Hannah says.

"I know, babe, me neither."

After the door closes behind them, I can't muster the energy to stand up even if it's time for my exercises. I keep staring at the empty space where Hannah and Valentino sat down earlier, the hole in my chest growing bigger by the second.

***

"How do you feel about this unexpected alliance with Brittany Anderson?" Dr. Noreen asks. 

We're only fifteen minutes into our session, and I'm trying hard not to mention what happened last night or the fact that I just fired two people whom I considered to be more than employees.  

"I'm not feeling any type of way."

"Once the show is over and you've exposed the co-producer, do you see yourself interacting with her in the future?"

"If you're asking if I'm going to try being friends, which, given Brittany's nature, would be absurd to consider, then the answer is no. She's someone who's bullied me and almost ended my career. I don't forgive people who hurt me."

"So if Simone would ever want to reconcile with you, there'd be no chance."

Not a chance in hell.

"Simone did something even worse than Brittany because at least I knew what to expect from a racist bully. But Simone became my friend and then betrayed that bond that we'd started to form. She did not show any signs of remorse and even blamed me for her shortcomings. This is not the kind of person I want to have in my life."

"Boundaries are good," Dr. Noreen responds. "Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

"Like what?"

"You tell me."

We maintain eye contact for a few seconds before I blow out an exhausted breath.

"I can't do the reverse psychology thing today," I answer. "If you want me to talk about something in particular, please let me know."

Dr. Noreen gives a sympathetic look as she gently reminds me, "The purpose of therapy is to create an environment where you feel safe enough to share things on your own."

I figure I might as well rip off the bandaid now and be done with it. 

"Lucian broke up with me," I inform her. 

Dr. Noreen tries and fails to hide her shock. I think she'd expected we might have had an argument but not broken up. I do my best to relate the circumstances of our breakup without revealing what Lucian has told me about his past. 

After hearing me talk, my therapist remains silent for a long while. It's not one of those silences where she waits for me to say more than I intended to. I feel like she's carefully assembling the right words to say. 

"I don't have enough information about Lucian to assess his intentions accurately. However, from what you've told me about your relationship, I can honestly say that the kind of connection you and Lucian shared is not one that people are easily able to break off. He might come around."

His words from yesterday echo in my mind. I kept hearing them all night as I failed to find sleep. You can't force me to stay with you.

"Whether he comes around or not doesn't matter," I tell Dr. Noreen. "I don't forgive people who hurt me."

***

The highlight of my day is receiving a response from the American Guild of Musical Artists. The girls and I had decided to file a joint complaint against Ambrose after Brittany provided us the useful information that he's a member of the labor union representing ballet dancers and other performing artists. 

The AGMA has procedures in place to address grievances related to the workplace, and if one of their members violate their code of conduct, disciplinary and legal actions can be taken against them.  

Subject: Update on AGMA Investigation: Ambrose Montgomery

Dear Ms. Morel

I hope this email finds you well.

I am writing to inform you that the American Guild of Musical Artists (AGMA) has received the formal complaint regarding the alleged misconduct of Mr. Ambrose Montgomery, as submitted by you and your fellow dancers, Laurel Phillips, Brittany Anderson, and Carmen Castillo. After careful review, AGMA has decided to proceed with opening an investigation into these allegations.

Our team will begin the investigation promptly, and we are committed to conducting a thorough and impartial review of the matter. We understand the gravity of the situation and the importance of ensuring a fair process for all parties involved.

As the primary contact person for this complaint, we will keep you informed of any updates or developments throughout the investigation. Please do not hesitate to reach out to me directly if you have any questions or concerns at any time.

Thank you for your cooperation and willingness to come forward with your concerns. We appreciate your trust in AGMA to address this matter appropriately.

Best regards,

Michelle Jacobs, Communications Director at the American Guild of Musical Artists.

I forward the email to the group chat Carmen created so the four of us could keep in touch during the process of getting Ambrose cast out of the ballet industry. The girls send various emojis of victory. Our next step now is to release the video. We all had previously agreed to do it the day after our final show, tomorrow. 

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur. A short speech of Madame Laroche who encourages us to do our best for the last day. Posing for pictures with all the cast and crew members. A brief meet-and-greet with young fans. Stage rehearsals. Then the show begins. 

During the intermissions in between acts, other dancers talk to me, which genuinely surprises me, but I find myself loving and exchanging pleasantries with them. It occurs to me that Carmen and Brittany might have something to do with the fact that others are now talking to me. 

As Enchanted Shadows progresses, it changes the experience for me to join the stage with my fellow cast members when I've stopped considering myself as an isolated neutron. 

We're all part of one entity and that synergy flowing through my veins seem to fuel every step with a renewed energy, sparks trailing in my wake as I twirl among my peers. We're all shining together. 

After the last scene rolls and all members of the cast of Enchanted Shadows gather to bow before the audience I don't hesitate to wrap my hand around the neck of the dancer next to me.

"We should celebrate," Carmen suggests later in the changing rooms.

They all start making plans, and I find myself unexpectedly blurting out, "You could all stop by my place and party there." When my declaration is received by blank stares, I immediately backtrack. "Unless you guys prefer going elsewhere,"

"Looks like we have a place to party tonight!" Carmen exclaims, provoking a chorus of cheers . 

Only Simone remains silent and hurries out of the room as soon as she's finished changing. Well, she won't be missed. 

I take my phone and send a quick message to the group I share with Hannah and Valentino. 

Me: Party at my place tonight with the cast, please come. It doesn't have to be over ;)

Hannah: Before I freak out can you please confirm that we're officially hired again? 

Me: YES you are.

Hannah: OMG ILY! Please don't scare us like that again!

Valentino: I'm bringing booze and my therapy bills for the trauma you inflicted this morning. 

My chest warms up as I read their messages before typing my answer. I apologize to them using a copious amount of heart emojis and praying hands.

I've been alone long enough and it sucks. Time for a change of scenery that is long overdue.