~ Keith ~

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Four steps.

I could probably count all the way up to infinity and still not be tired. Insomnia sucks.

How many steps was I on now?

Oh, what was the point, it wasn't like counting was going to actually make me feel tired. Nothing could. Still, I fell asleep in the Bridge a few days ago. Maybe that might work again.

But then again...he'd been there...

I shook my head vigorously. No. No, no, no, no, that couldn't have been why. It was probably just the view from the Bridge that had me fall asleep. Not anything else.

I mean, I hadn't gone there since...the last time...and I hadn't slept properly in my room since so maybe that room was just special or something, I don't know. Trying to fall asleep in there was worth a shot.

I opened the door and stepped inside.

Only it wasn't empty.

Lance was there. Sitting at his station, hugging his knees to his chest. He didn't see me as his face was buried into them.

I was going to just walk away when this happened.

He raised his head and tipped his neck back and the light of the stars shone on the tears on his cheeks.

The tears that were rolling down his face.

Oh my god.

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodholyshitholyshitholshit...

Lance was...

Crying.

Crying.

Crying.

Like as in the verb, where you're all overcome with emotion so water comes out of your eyes and starts going down your face.

Lance.

Crying.

Oh my god.

I stumbled back away from the doorway, legs shaking with shock. I couldn't comprehend this, I couldn't bear to see this. My head was spinning, the world was spinning and I couldn't keep up.

Heart pounding, I turned around and ran away as fast as I could. I didn't stop until I reached my room and I raced inside, shutting the door behind me and then leaning against that, breathing heavily, eyes still wide and shocked. My world was still spinning and wouldn't stop. I slowly slid down to the floor and I held my head in my hands. Oh my god, oh my god...

What had I just witnessed? I was pretty sure Lance hadn't wanted me to see that.

But I had. And that awful, awful image of him crying wouldn't leave my mind.

***

~ Lance ~

"Good morning everyone, yes, I am here, I am blessing you all with my presence," I trilled as I entered the dining hall. Pidge rolled her eyes and Hunk shot me a grin.

"Look at who's finally up."

"You know I need my beauty sleep," I replied with a grin as I sat down at my seat next to Keith. "Perfection takes time. And I'm worth every second of it."

Pidge snorted and I then noticed that Keith was staring at me. Now, I'm not talking about that sly thing you do out of the corner of your eye when you don't want someone to stare at you. His head was fully turned and he was just staring at me with huge eyes and a blank face. It was kinda weird. Very weird.

I flicked his nose. "If you really wanna stare at me that much, just take a picture already."

He made this weird squeak of pain which made me, Hunk and Pidge wheeze and he clutched his nose and looked away grumpily. "L-Like I'd want a picture of you."

I didn't reply: I was still laughing at that weird noise he'd made.

So, it was a fairly normal morning. I wasn't too hungry so I didn't really eat much but that wasn't new. I hadn't had much of an appetite recently for some reason. Keith didn't say much else but that was normal too. I just chatted to Hunk instead while Pidge assumed herself with a Rubik's Cube. It was all normal.

Notice how I say was.

Because when I got up from the table and was walking down the hall, I heard someone behind me say my name.

And that is the precise moment when everything began to unravel for me.

"Lance?"

"Huh?" I turned around to see who was talking to me. Keith was staring at me with those big, big blue-grey violet eyes of his. I blinked my own eyes in surprise. "Yeah, what is it?"

He didn't take his gaze off me. "Why were you crying last night?"

Crying.

I thought I'd been alone.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

I laughed, praying it didn't sound fake. "Crying? Me? What the heck are you on about?"

His look hardened. "Lance, I saw you."

"Eh, your insomnia must be making you see some pretty strange things, Keithy boy." I turned around, eager to get away from him, eager to get away from this, eager to get away from confrontation, away from all of this.

So I started walking away but I felt a strong hand grab my wrist and tug me around. Keith was glaring at me.

"I'm not falling for any of your tricks. Tell me."

I wasn't fooling him.

I plastered a goofy smile on my face. "Oh, relax, I-I was just listening to It's Quiet Uptown, that'd make anyone cry, was nothing-"

"Like hell that was nothing!" He yelled.

I blinked, a little shocked and then tried to harden myself. "I'm fine, I'm always fine, you're overreacting-"

"You're such a liar," he snapped. "I can always tell with you. And you were not fine, you were in a goddamn state. What's going on?!"

He wasn't buying anything I was saying so I tried to tug my wrist out of my grip. "It's nothing to do with you so I shouldn't-"

His fingers tightened. "So, you expect me to carry on like nothing happened?! Why do you always do this?!"

"Do what?"

"You always say that everything is fine when it's the complete opposite, you never ever tell me things. You want me to tell you when things are bothering me but you don't even trust me! Don't you know how worried I was when I saw you upset? How scared I was that it was my fault?!"

"I'm fine-"

"There you go again, lying to me like you don't even care about me. Don't you know how it makes me feel, the fact that you don't even trust me?!"

I didn't know what I could say to that. "L-Let go, Keith!"

"Not until you're honest with me!"

"I-I can't!"

"So, you're just gonna stay silent and-"

"Yes, and I just want to go now so let go of my wrist and we'll-"

He grabbed my other wrist and shoved me against the wall, hard. His eyes were full of fury as he glared at me. "I've just about had enough of your bullshit!"

I clenched my fists and glared back. "You don't know anything about me. So just let me do what I want."

"Yeah, you're right."

I blinked.

He continued, looking at me right in the eye. "I don't know anything about you. Because you always hide yourself, you never let on how you're really feeling inside. But I want to get to know you. I want to start understanding you. Don't you ever want to open and show us what you're feeling-"

"I can't!" I yelled.

He stopped and stared at me.

"I can't, okay?" My voice was shaking. "I can't. If I'd ever show any of what I really feel, I'd fall. I'd fall apart. It's not like it matters anyway. Every time I say anything, no one ever hears me. I just fade away into the background...I just...I just..."

I was suddenly very aware of the extremely close proximity between our faces.

I think Keith did too.

Both our faces slowly reddened.

Dropping my wrists, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and stormed off down the corridor. "W-Well, if you're just gonna be immature and stupid about this, then fine. But I'm not speaking to you until you tell me the truth!"