The five Paladins and four pilots ran together from the truck that was half a mile away and back to the other truck as a morning training exercise. No one was happy.

"You guys got it, just don't think about it," lance jogged ahead of Pidge and hunk as both were wheezing after the third lap.

"This is a sport for whores!" Pidge rasped and collapsed to her knees as hunk stumbled to keep running.

"It's not that bad just keep up," Keith ran past them as he had his hair sticking to his neck.

"Will you at least put your hair up? For fucks sake man that's gotta be driving you crazy," lance ran back to him as hunk fell on his face and stayed there in the dirt.

"You know you lost half your team," griffin ran with them.

"Alluras right over-" Keith looked behind him and saw the princess on her back far away.

"You guys it hasn't even been two miles!" Keith yelled back at them.

"Then where's Rizavi?" Lance smirked at him and he ran ahead to go catch up with kinkade who was running alone.

"Hey stranger," lance caught up with him.

"Oh hey," kinkade snapped out of his thoughts and looked at him.

"Your not dying yet?" Lance smiled a little.

"I use to run a few miles with my dad in the morning," kinkade told him simply but they both were panting a little with sweat dripping down their faces.

"Why aren't you passed out like the others?" He smirked back at lance.

"Did cross country and soccer for a few years, you think I stayed this good of shape without dying?" Lance laughed a little but coughed into his hand.

"Did you do a lot of sports then?" Kinkade glanced over.

"Uh gymnastics from when I was like six to when I was fourteen, I've been doing soccer since I was twelve and did cross country after I stopped doing gymnastics," lance explained with a shrug. "You a sports guy?"

"Nope, I never liked any of those kinds of sports," he shook his head and lance rolled his eyes.

"So you were a nerd?" Lance teased.

"Yep, I liked reading and art," kinkade smiled with pride of it and lance giggled.

"Hey has anyone seen Leifsdottir?" James called up to them as the four boys stopped and looked around.

They saw the blond girl running back already as she was the farthest ahead.

"I'm going to make her laugh by the end of the week," lance panted putting his hands on his knees and smirked looking at her.

"Never seen her laugh, good luck," kinkade put his hands above his head to stretch and catch his breath.

"Look who's talking, You rarely laugh," James walked past them.

"Really?" Lance snorted wiping sweat off his face but flinched at his healing cut lip.

"Did I say you can stop?! Two more laps to go lazy bones!" Shiro called down to them as the boys jumped and went back to running.

—

"You know what I can't wait when we get to go to garrisons? A shower," Lance wheeze as he chugged a water after everyone was done with the exercise.

"A shower, fresh clothes, and a real bed," he smiled at his friend as everyone else was still dying.

"Haven't has that since the castle of lions," hunk chuckled as he sat on the ground with his water.

"Gross," James looked at them.

"I don't like being this dirty!" Lance snapped at him.
The two argued a little on the side as everyone had protein bars and water as the sun was beating down on them.

"Maybe it's just lance that likes to argue," Pidge looked at them unamused.

"You haven't met his sister," Rizavi giggled. Hunk nodded with a shutter remembering Lances family.

"It's a mcclain thing," hunk agreed.

"Veronica right?" Keith looked at the pilots.

"Yep, she use to always talk about her little brother before she thought he died," the tan girl nodded but it was silent, Lance was silent.

"Veronica thinks I'm dead?" Lance asked confused with wide eyes.

"I-Uh yea? Everyone thinks your all dead," she nodded slowly and lance pursed his lips.

"Lance you okay?" Kinkade asked him quietly.

"Yea I'm fine, just surprised me," lance perked up and slapped on a smile on his face for them.

"No biggie just your family thinks your dead, your big sister too, whoops," he laughed a little but bounced his leg anxiously.

"Well imagine how happy they'll be when they find out your not," Keith offered but lance inhaled deeply.

"They knew you were a paladin, if that helps, they got your videos," Sam told the Paladins and everyone perked up.

"Even my family?" Hunk smiled hopeful.

"Yep, your parents, and Adam got it when he was still alive too," Sam looked at shiro.

"Wait-what?" Shiro looked at the older man confused.

"What do you mean was?" He asked a little more harsh than he meant.

"Shiro-" "what do you mean was?" Shiro cut Sam off quickly with fear in his eyes.

"Adam died three years ago, I'm sorry," Sam told him gently and Shiro stared at him in horror.

"Oh..." Shiro whispered standing up.

Lance looked at his leader concerned seeing Shiro walk away silently. He felt guilty for even bringing the outside world up, it was selfish for him to bring up his family when lance knew otherwise for shiro, for hunk, but he couldn't say anything.

"Sorry," lance mumbled and kinkade looked at him.

"For what?" He asked as no one was paying attention to them anymore.

"I shouldn't have said anything, that was stupid," lance sighed running a hand through his hair.

"It's not your fault for what happened to Adam," kinkade put a hand on his shoulder.

Lance thought about it for a moment but bit his lip breathing a little faster. Yes it was his fault. If he was here, if voltron was here maybe the galra wouldn't have taken over earth. Adam could be alive. No one would be dead or hurt or fearing for their lives, earth wouldn't be in the war. If they were here they wouldn't be refugees. It was absolutely his fault.

"Lance? Your breathing kinda fast, talk to me," kinkade turned his body towards his as lance gripped his own chest as he started to have troubles breathing, catching his breath. He couldn't breathe.

"Hey, lets go for a walk," kinkade told him softly and took lance away from the group and went to hide behind the truck so they would have more privacy.

"Lance you have to look at me," kinkade told him gently as he helped him to sit on the ground in case he passed out.

"I-I can't s-stop I can't bre-breathe- I-I-" Lance hyperventilated as he was on his knees with tears in his eyes.

"It's my fault, I should've been here," he choked on his own voice.

"If voltron was here- no one- I- I'm sorry I should've been here," he covered his face trying not to cry. Not in front of kinkade.

"No one is blaming you, just breathe lance, it's going to be okay," kinkade told him calmly but lance shook his head.

"No it's not, it's not okay, I-I-" Lances shoulders shook as he broke down on the ground.

He suddenly felt arms wrapped around him and his head pulled to a shoulder. Lance paused and felt his breathing stop as kinkade held him tightly.

Kinkade didn't know what else to do, hes never been one for comforting people like this, he knew holding or embracing someone helps sometimes. He didn't know what else to do to help him.

But it seemed to be working as Lances body trembled against him but gripped his shoulders and buried his face in the crook of his neck. Surprisingly no tears were falling, Lance didn't allow his tears to fall but he leaned against him more. Like he craved this kind of touch of just a simple embrace. Kinkade hugged him tighter as Lances breathing slowed down from his panic attack and was calming down.

"I'm sorry," lance whispered in his arms as kinkade looked at him concerned.

"Don't be," he told him gently.

Lance got out of the embrace as they sat on the ground, Lances head was down as he was embarrassed by his freak out. Kinkade didn't have any reason to judge him, he didn't say anything seeing lance was still recovering.

"I hate it when I get like that," lance sighed looking down. "My heads been messy lately,"

"You mean having a panic attack? You're obviously stressed and other things, you have a right too, but don't ever think anything like this is your fault," kinkade told him seriously as lance closed his eyes.

"And it's always okay to miss your family, I miss mine too," he smiled gently lifting Lances head by his chin.

"I'm sorry," lance pursed his lips.

Kinkade flicked his head.

"Ow!" Lance covered his forehead wide eyes.

"I said don't apologize," kinkade told him sternly as lance rubbed the spot a little with a small pout.

"Thank you, for that," lance sighed biting his bottom lip again.

"Does your team ever help you out when you need it like that?" Kinkade asked cocking his head to the side. He shook his head.

"It's not their fault, just don't tell them... hunk doesn't know I got panic attacks again," he pursed his lips.

"Sure, I won't tell them, just know I am here for you lance," kinkade helped him to his feet and lance smiled a little.

"Same here, I like it when you talk to me," lance grinned at him. Ryan blushed softly at his smile.

"I'm trying," he nodded.