I fall for Zeke's charm, and I promised him not to say a word to Renee, or else they would do something to me. Wala akong ideya kung anong kaya nilang gawin. Hindi na imposible kung may gawin silang masama sa akin. They've been hiding their sexual relationship to anyone.

Who would've thought that those best friends—Hayden and Zeke were hooking up secretly, privately, and for how long? I guess since way back they met each other.

Based on Zeke's story, they had done it already, and now, they couldn't stop it.

It was more scandalous than what we did. I know what we did was unforgivable, but I was played in their little game, I don't know how to get away with the guilt I was carrying. If anyone could just see what I've seen, they would say the same thing, but they might say that I was a liar or call me some names that might not be true. My future my tied in this dilemma, and I have to find a way to get out of this situation as soon as possible.

I know it was too late, but it wasn't over yet.

Earlier, Zeke told me I would be meeting Hayden because he told me he would fuck me, but I have no intention of doing it with him. I wanted to see and talk to him. I wanted to clear things out with him. Some things needed to be done. Zeke tried manipulating me, but I hoped Hayden wouldn't do the same thing to me. But then again, I won't be sure until I get to talk. He participated in an act where he would do such a thing with his best friend.

Was I jealous because the people I've been fucking secretly before had a thing going on now? I have no idea how long it has been going on, but I felt like it wasn't the first time. Based on Zeke's words when we talked, it doesn't sound like he regretted what he did with him.

I am regretting it now, and I knew it was too late for that. But I could make up for it, I just don't know how I could do it without putting myself in dangerous situations.

This was a hard lesson for me. An act that I didn't think about in the first place and what would be the repercussions. I was living in pleasure and all I could think about was cock, dicks, penis, and all other things that could make me feel so good. It didn't matter if I harmed people around me because all I cared about was myself. There was nothing wrong in putting yourself first, but this time, if there was a thing that I could set things right, I had to make a move to reveal the truth and let the lies break them.

It looked impossible, but trust me, I've done things that go my way perfectly.

Umalis ako ng bahay. I didn't dare to look in the house next door. Renee was still there, waiting for his husband to come home to her. Kung hindi niya rin naman kasi inaaway, he wouldn't stay in a motel where he was hooking up with his best friend. When I kept thinking about that, hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. From the first time I met Zeke, he didn't look like the one who would fool around with his best friend, but I guess you can't always guess a person just by looking at them at first glance.

I was wrong.

I was flabbergasted by the lies.

As told by Zeke, I would meet Hayden back in the motel where I could do things with him, as advised by him. Wala raw problema sa kanya 'yon. He instructed it to make it happen. It was like he set it up for us to be alone, and I could have Hayden all by myself without worrying about anything. To what I had in mind, it seemed like Zeke and Hayden were more than just best friends. Zeke acted like he was Hayden's husbands. It was like they were in a relationship—married. I could be just overthinking about it, but it could be the truth as well.

I took a taxi to the motel place. Motel Maria has been one of the motels in the local area where crimes and murders have occurred and yet the building was still operating and entertaining guests. I guess, they could also add that it was the home of liars and cheaters—I wouldn't say less of who I am, but these people were personally close to Renee, and the sin they did was far heavier than what I did.

I just fucked a married man, and they did more than that.

As soon as I reached the motel, I took a deep breath. I've prepared myself to come here. I've had no hesitations. I've had no doubts. I've had a plan and that was to put Hayden out of this situation. Zeke could probably be a dangerous person, and as long as he was there, things could happen. We don't know what he was capable of, but in just a snap of a finger or blink of an eye, everything could drastically change, and we can't do anything about it.

I didn't have to go through the receptionist as I did the first time. I knew where to go and who to meet. I'm not sure if Zeke was around or I would see them fucking again, but I hope not. It doesn't look hot to me. It was such a disgrace. I can't stand looking at it.

I walked up the stairs and then passed the open hallway where I headed towards their motel room. I took quite a few little steps so I could still buy some time, but when I finally stood in front of their door, there was no backing out for me. This is it. I needed to do what I needed to do.

I knocked on the door and waited a few seconds to open it for me.

This wasn't new to me. I usually do this when I come over to my hookup's house and they will host it. But this is different from the usual. I knew the person I would be seeing. I don't have to guess if he looked hot, handsome, or a fraud as to what he stated on his gay dating app profile. The man I would be meeting with was someone I knew, and I was scared of how it would go.

As soon as the door opened, I saw Hayden in his loose jeans. He was shirtless, and it seemed like he was already waiting for me. Nagkatinginan lamang kaming dalawa. Iba ang kabog na nararamdaman ko. Para bang gusto kong tumako at magpakalayo-layo, pero gusto ko rin siyang  harapan. It was like I was torn to do something with him and avoid doing something that I might put myself in danger.

"Glad you came," he spoke. Inabot nito ang kamay ko at hinayaan ko lamang siyang hatakin ako papasok sa loob ng motel room. Habang iginagala ko ang mata ko sa paligid ay hindi ko makalimutan kung anong nangyari dito. The fact that Hayden was so turned on and rimming Zeke down was a sight I couldn't forget. Napalunok na lamang ako ng laway. Isinara ni Hayden ang pinto. Nilingon ko siya at walang ekspresyon ang ibinato nito sa akin. "Are you ready?"

Hindi ako sumagot. It was like he was doing this on purpose now. Hindi niya iniisip na may asawa siya at magkakaanak na siya. Para  bang kinalimutan na niya iyon. He was doing it because Renee wasn't around, and he could fool around with many men he would like to get down with. 

I noticed that he wasn't wearing the ring on his finger. Renee was still wearing hers from the last time I saw her.

Dahan-dahan namang naglakad si Hayden sa akin at ipinatong ang mga kamay sa magkabilang balikat ko. I knew what he meant by that and he was trying me to get down to my knees so I could suck his cock.

"Before we do it, can we talk first?" I asked. Tiningnan lamang niya ako. Naghihintay naman ako ng isasagot niya sa akin at kung ano man ang lumabas sa bibig niya, hindi ko alam kung paniniwalaan ko ba ito o hindi. "Please, can we talk?"

"Sure. . . What do you want to talk about?" he asked, retrieving his hands from me.

I swallowed. "Why are you doing this with Zeke?"

Napangisi naman ito at tumungo sa isang maliit na desk kung saan may bote ng alak. Nagsalin naman ito sa baso niya at saka siya uminom. "Why would you want to know that? I'm sure you're here for me to fuck you and not ask things about me and Zeke."

"Yes, I came here for that, but I also want to know what was going on with you and Zeke. Has this been a thing ever since or it was new?"

Inubos nito ang sinalin sa alak sa baso niya at inilapag ito sa ibabaw ng mesa at saka siya lumapit sa akin. He pressed his lips together as if he was tasting the liquor from them. His jaw clenched as he looked me in the eyes. I knew he was only doing that to intimidate me, but I won't get intimidated by his presence. I've been in the presence of guys who have shown dominance before me. It doesn't scare me. But in Hayden's eyes, I thought I should be more careful, I couldn't read him.

"Why do you care so much about Zeke and I? I don't think it should be your business. You should be glad that we were fucking you. We haven't given a chance to any guy other than you, so be proud we were loyal to you. So, don't question what we have. It shouldn't be your business."

"I know, but you should care about your relationship with Renee," I countered a reasonable argument. Tumikhim naman siya. "Can't you see? She was suffering. Oo, I was so happy that my desire and sexual fantasies with you have been fulfilled when you went to my doorstep that day and let me suck your dick for the first time. It was the moment I wouldn't be able to forget. All the days we fucked together, it was special for me, but I can't stop thinking about Renee. I'm starting to regret I did all those things with you."

Napangisi naman nito. A weird reaction from him. It seemed like he didn't really care about her anymore.

"You're married to her, Hayden," I spoke with so much sense in my tone that it could touch his heart and mind. "Hindi mo ba naiisip 'yon?"

Natawa naman ito at saka umiling-iling. "Don't make me the bad person here, Mitch. You were a part of it, and you've found pleasure in hiding the secret with me. You would take this secret to your grave and you wouldn't tell anyone about what we did, or between me and Zeke. You'll be dead before you know it."

"You're unbelievable, Hayden. . . If I just knew that this would lead to this, hindi na sana kita pinatulan."

"Oh, really?" Humalakhak ito. "You were so into me, Mitch. Let that sink into your brain. You wanted me and my body. I gave it to you so don't put an image on me as if I was the bad person here. Well, you gave better heads than my wife. Your hole was tight, so I liked it."

Napahugot ako nang malalim na hininga. 

"I think Renee deserved to know the truth, Hayden," I told him and his stares were deadly. "I don't know what kind of lies you were feeding to her, but I'm ready to tell her the truth. All the things we've done and I know what you and Zeke did. It's about time for her to be free from that pain. I know I was a part of it, and I'm regretting it. You don't have to put her in so much pain, trouble, and all that. If you want to have a sexual relationship with Zeke, let Renee go, and go fuck all you want with random men you would like to have."

"You're such a fagg*t, Mitch. You don't know what you were talking about," he said, shaking his head. "I don't want to fuck you anymore. You don't me. . . My body and my cock. I've wasted all of my cum to you. But just to let you know, Mitch, once you say a word, you won't be seeing another day. . . Mark my words. Go and leave. Don't say anything," he ordered.

I turned my back on him and headed toward the front door. I reached for the doorknob, but before I could do anything, something was placed over my nose and mouth and I couldn't breathe, and the smell was weird, it was intoxicating. I tried to resist, but the man behind me was strong enough. He was holding my hands, pinning me against the door, while the handkerchief was still covering my face.

"But I'm not letting you go, Mitch. . .  Not when you can. . ." Mitch whispered, biting the back of my ear.

I didn't completely understand the words he uttered and my head started to feel light. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't keep up. I was losing all of my senses until everything went black.

***

I woke up hearing police and ambulance sirens outside. It took me quite a moment to realize what happened last night. I got up on the bed and immediately checked myself if I was okay or if I lost anything, but I was okay. I looked around and I'm now back in my room. I'm at my house, and I don't remember a thing how I got back home.

I looked for my phone, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I must've left them somewhere. The only place I went to was the motel last night. Natigilan naman ako muli nang maalala ko kung anong nangyari. Everything was still clear to me, but I couldn't remember anything after Hayden poisoned me with something in that cloth. My head was still light.

Hayden didn't bother lying and cheating with his wife.

Now, I get it. Kaya pinatulan niya ako dahil kayang-kaya niyang gawin 'yon. He has been doing it with Zeke ever since, and I don't know when it started, but I wouldn't be surprised if they did all those things in their early twenties. I still couldn't believe how it all led to this. Hayden and Zeke were sexual partners. Itinago-tago ko pa sa kanilang dalawa na fina-fuck ko ang kaibigan nila, when in fact, they were already doing them, and I don't have a single idea about it. It was fucked up.

I'm not sure how I can get out of this situation, but the sure thing is, that I can move out of this town and forget everything.

Mayamaya lamang ay nagtaka ako nang hindi tumitigil ang mga tunog ng wangwang sa labas. Dali-dali naman akong tumungo sa front door at sinilip ko kung anong nangyayari at nagulat na lamang ako na maraming sasakyan ng pulis at may ambulansya sa labas. Nakaparada ang lahat ng iyon sa tapat ng bahay ng Cummings. 

Nanlamig ang buo kong katawan dahil hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari. Namuo naman ang kaba sa dibdib ko dahil mukhang seryoso ang nangyayari. May ilang mga taong lumalapit upang alamin kung anong nangyayari, pero lahat ay walang ideya kung anong nangyari. Sinubukan ko namang lumapit, pero hinarangan ako ng isang officer at pinagbabawalan nila ang lumapit sa crime scene. Nanlaki naman ang mata ko sa sinabi ng officer. Inusisa ko pa kung anong nangyari, pero wala itong sinasagot sa akin dahil bawal silang magbigay ng impormasyon sa mga civillian.

Binalot muli nang malamig na hangin ang katawan ko. Tumindig ang balahibo sa katawan ko.

Mabilis akong bumalik sa loob ng kwarto at tumungo sa kwarto ko. Nakasara ang blackout curtains, but I could hear them inside the bedroom. I tried to listen as much as possible, but I couldn't hear things clearly. Mayamaya lamang ay bumukas ang blackout curtains at binuksan iyon ng isang officer. Nagulat pa ako nang gawin niya iyon, pero ang unang pumukaw ng atensyon ko ay ang tali na nakasabit sa kisame. Muli namang isinara ng officer ang kurtina dahil nasilayan ko ang nangyari.

Bumagsak ang balikat ko dahil hindi ako makapaniwala na magagawa ni Renee iyon. I tried calling my friends to tell them what was happening at hindi rin sila makapaniwala. They would go in my place as soon as possible, but I don't think they would see them. Muli akong bumalik sa labas upang masilayan ang paglabas ng katawan ni Renee mula sa loob ng bahay nila.

Lahat ay inaabangan kung anong balita ang makukuha nila. Kahit ako ay inaabangan dahil gusto kong malaman kung bakit humantong doon ang lahat.

Mayamaya lamang ay ipinalayo ng isang officer ang mga tao sa paligid dahil ilang saglit lamang ay bumukas ang pinto kung saan lumabas ang mga medic na bitbit ang stretcher na lula kung nasaan ang katawan ni Renee. Nakataklob ng puting kumot ang buo nitong katawan. Ang sunod ko namang nakita ay si Hayden at namumugto na ang mga mata nito sa kakaiyak. Sumunod lamang ito sa loob ng ambulansya kung saan inilagay ang katawan ni Renee.

He only looked at me, but he quickly shifted those eyes away from me.

I don't know what happened last night, but waking up with this terrible news was devastating. As I looked around, I thought I saw Zeke, but he was already out of my sight when I looked back again.

Nang umalis ang ambulansya ay hindi naman umalis ang mga pulis kung hindi ay nagpatuloy lamang sila sa pag-iimbestiga. I didn't wish one day I would wake up seeing police cars and ambulances outside of the house next door. I should've talked to Renee, and now I regret that I wasn't brave enough to do it. I was scared to put myself in danger, and now, someone just took their own life because of some things she couldn't control anymore.

It wasn't her fault. I was a part of it, and I hate how it all led us right here. Death shouldn't be in the picture. But with all the lies and betrayal, it became an escape for someone who was dealing with it.

I am sorry, Renee. I didn't mean to be a part of your husband's dirty secret. I won't take this secret to my grave because I know the truth will set me free from all these troubles, even though Hayden and Zeke threatened to end my life. But fuck them.

***