I wanted to stay loyal to Hayden and be true to my words—he was and so I would do the same thing.

Hayden doesn't have to know what was the deal between me and his best friend. It was something I would do with Zeke and with him. Magkaiba naman silang dalawa. More likely, Hayden was some kind of a lover, but Zeke was the side piece—or vice versa, depending on the situation. I would like to have both of them. Wala namang restriction. I wasn't in a relationship in the first place, but maybe I could still do it by hiding it from Hayden.

Just like what he said, no one would know about it when one zipped one's mouth about it.

Earlier today, Hayden went to my house, as usual, and we did the deed. He always surprised me I must say. He always came prepared and I always douched in the morning before he came over. May excitement akong nararamdaman araw-araw. I was looking forward to seeing Hayden jump over my window and then get naked to top me. Dati, I was only watching them, but now I was a part of it.

Sa ilang linggong nakalilipas, it has always been like this. Kulang na nga lang ay i-delete ko ang mga gay dating app ko sa phone ko dahil hindi ko na naman sila kailangan. I only needed two men in my life right now, ayan ay si Hayden at Zeke.

One day, when he asked me about the plumber who had come over to my house before, I was kind of embarrassed to say to him that Jax and I hooked up. Hindi na iyon naulit, but I would call him if I needed him to fix my kitchen sink pipes. He also admitted to me na 'yong araw na 'yon na bumisita si Jax sa kanila para ayusin ang tubo sa lababo nila, he was showing motives, but because Renee was in the house, he had to back off.

He confessed that if he wasn't sexually attracted to me baka raw pinatos na rin niya si Jax. When I asked him if he would like me to see another man like a threesome. He thought about it for quite some time, pero hindi niya rin ako sinagot ng direkta. Kung may chance man, I would ask Jax to join us. For sure, he would love me to see railed by Jax. Ibang klase rin ang tubo no'n.

Hayden only wanted me and no one. Kapag pumapasok sa isip ko 'yon, I knew I was the luckiest gay alive today. A hot married man like Hayden, sino pa bang aatras?

I was supposed to meet my friends tonight, but I told them I had to meet someone else. Hindi naman sila nagtanong kung sino, pero nagtatampo sila dahil hindi na ako madalas sumasama sa kanila kapag nagyayaya silang lumabas. They knew I could be hooking up with someone else. Hindi naman nila ako pinipigilan because they knew I could get a guy kung saan man kami magpunta. If we were in a club, for sure, I would end up kissing someone there and get down on my knees to finish the job. It is how it always ended. I've kind of missed it, but I have to be at Zeke's club to let him know he was still the one for me.

He was kind of upset whenever he invited me to go to the club where he works and I wouldn't be able to come, he wouldn't text or call me. I had to do it first and I could tell hearing his voice when he answered my call, that he was mad—not mad, pero nagtatampo ito.

Zeke even said that I could be seeing some other guy kaya nawawala na ang atensyon ko sa kanya. I had to make up a lie for it, and hopefully, he bought it.

As soon as I arrived at his workplace, only members could enter the premises so I had to call him to get inside the building. Mabilis niya rin namang sinagot ang tawag ko at kinita ako sa entrance. Pinakilala niya rin naman ako sa guard or bouncer na nakabantay sa entrance na kaibigan niya ako at kung bumisita man ulit ako, hindi ko need mag-present ng membership ID o kung ano man just to get inside the club.

He held my hand as we entered the building. Pasimple pa nito akong hinalikan sa pisngi. No one knew about us and I guess that was where the thrilling experience came from. Dumiretsyo naman kaming dalawa sa office niya sa second floor. Wala pa naman gaanong ganap sa center stage. Mostly ay nagdarating pa lang din ang ilang customers and the girls were preparing backstage.

"Finally, you came," he said as soon as he sat back down in his chair. Napabitaw pa ito nang malalim na buntonghininga. "How are you doing? And what changed your mind?"

"Are you mad at me, babe?" I asked him, pouting. "I'm sorry if I wasn't able to come and visit. . . You don't know about it, but it was kind of difficult for me to get around with day-to-day stuff. I know I needed a job, but. . ."

"Hey, hey, it's alright. . ." he said reaching out for my hand and holding it tightly. "I knew I shouldn't be hard on you and we were trying to keep this thing between us lay low. What do you think about us, babe? Do you think we should move forward and make it real? You know, we've been seeing each other and we've been fucking around. . . But I want to get on the ground with you and fortify our relationship. Do you think we could have it?"

Napalunok naman ako ng laway. I wasn't prepared for his question. Basically, he was asking me to be his boyfriend. I didn't know we were dating, but I guess, for him, we were. 

Unti-unti namang lumawak ang ngiti sa labi ko. "Well, we can do that. . . Pero paano 'yon? Do you still want this relationship to be secret at tayong dalawa lang ang nakakaalam?"

Napakibit balikat naman siya sa tanong ko. "Well, I guess, a few people knew about us. . ."

Napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya. Kinabahan ako ng slight dahil hindi ko naman inaasahan na iyon ang sasabihin niya sa akin. "Wait, wait. . . What do you mean by that? May pinagsabihan ka ba about us? I'm sure wala naman akong sinabihan, especially Hayden. It should ust between you and me. Tayong dalawa lang ang nakakaalam no'n."

"Well, your friends kinda did know about it," anito at napakamot siya sa likod ng ulo niya.

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa gulat. I wasn't expecting my friends would know about me and Zeke. E, hindi ko nga sinasabi sa kanila na I was hooking up with Zeke? How would they know about it? They haven't caught us pa naman so that was confusing for me. I was trying to make sense of it, but I'm sure my friends would tell me if they knew a thing about it. 

"H-How? How did they find out about us?"

Napangisi naman ito. "Well, you and your friends were that night. You were having fun and all. I don't know what you drank that night, but you ended up so wasted. I called you that night, it wasn't you who answered the phone. It was your friend, Patty. . . We talked and then I requested if I could just pick you up and get you home. She agreed and so I went there and found you almost unconscious. They helped me get you in my car. Patty and her boyfriend helped me. They said you had been drinking that night and they couldn't stop you. I was worried. I got you home and I stayed a few hours in your house and left some medicine next to you. I hope you had it when you wake up. . ."

Nang maalala ko naman ang umagang parang inatake ako ng sobrang bigat ng ulo, iyon pala ang nangyari.

Tumayo naman ito sa kinauupuan niya at umikot para lapitan ako. Umupo naman ito sa silya na nasa harapan ko at ipinatong ang kamay sa legs ko. Ngiti naman ang unang inabot nito sa akin.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like that. . . Hindi ko maalala kung anong ginawa ko that night at super clueless at blangko ang isipan ko sa gabing 'yon."

"That's fine. You don't have to worry about it. Your friends were actually nice to me. Do you think they would say a thing to anyone about us? Can I trust your friends if they knew about us?"

Mabilis naman akong tumango sa kanya. "Yes, yes. You can trust them. Trust me as well, I've known them for most of my life at marami kaming ginawang kung ano-anong kalokohan. We've shared secrets together and all. Hindi mo sila kailangan alalahanin if that was your only concern. They can keep our relationship a secret."

"That's perfect. . . So, are we making it official now?"

Even though I knew I made a promised to Hayden that I would be loyal to him, hindi ko rin naman maiwasan si Zeke. Magkaibigan ang dalawa. I can still have them in different time and place. Both shared secrets withme kaya nasa akin pa rin ang korona.

Tumango naman ako sa kanya at malaki ang ngiti na bumalot sa mukha niya. Wit his excitement, he sealed it with a kiss and we almost get down again, but he quickly parted away and I found his face confused all of a sudden. Hinawakan ko naman ang pisngi niya habang hinihimas ng hinlalaki ko ang mabalbas niyang pisngi.

"What are you thinking?" tanong ko, may halong kaba sa dibdib ko.

"Well, you mentioned Hayden earlier. What does he have to do with us? I'm sure nothing, right? I knew you liked him and stole underwear from him, but there was nothing else other than that, right?"

I cleared my throat saka ako tumango. "Of course, wala. Wala," panimula ko. "I only mentioned him dahil best friend mo siya. Sabi ko nga sa 'yo last time, Renee and Hayden figured that I was meeting you. I just reasoned to them na lang na ibang Zeke ang tumatawag. I was just wondering if they would find out about us, anong gagawin natin?"

Napakibit balikat naman ito sa akin. "Nothing. There's nothing we should do. I don't think Renee or Hayden would have to go between us when they already have a marriage between themselves. Sure they would ask about our relationship, but it was our concern and not theirs. They should mind their own business. I knew Hayden was trying to get Renee pregnant as soon as possible so I guess that would happen sooner."

Nabato ako sa sinabi niya, pero hindi ko na lamang ipinahalata sa kanya. May kakaibang kirot sa dibdib ko nang sabihin niyang binubuntis ni Hayden si Renee, and I knew wala naman akong karapatan na pagbawalan siya. But what would happen to both of us kung nabuntis nga niya ng tuluyan ang asawa niya? Would we be able to continue what we have or ititigil na namin 'to?

I still have Zeke with me kung piliin ni Hayden si Renee. I could just end it with him.

Hindi rin ako umamin kay Zeke na araw-araw kapag umaalis si Renee ay pumupunta ang best friend niya sa bahay ko para i-fuck ako. I don't think he should know that information as well. Hindi na niya kailangan pang alamin iyon. At kay Hayden, hindi niya rin kailangan malaman na Zeke and I were in a relationship. I put myself in this situation and I've handled worse situations before with me at nagawa ko naman ng maayos. This should be an easy job for me.

I can handle both of them. I don't have to end a sexual relationship with one another because I can have both.

"Can you give me head, babe?" Zeke asked.

"Right now? In your office?"

Tumango naman ito sa akin. "Yes, Zara's on leave, so she wouldn't disturb us. Get on your knees and put my cock in your mouth."

Napangisi naman ako. "Well, as you wish, Master. . ."

I got on my knees, and as usual, I did the job for him. It was always gonna be like this between me and Zeke, and then Hayden and me. Hindi ako magsasawa. I have the best of both worlds—cocks. I'm a happy gay and I can live with this for the rest of my life—a cock in my mouth and a cock penetrating my hole. Two things I would always look forward to.

***