Vomit profuse out of my throat, burning my esophagus as I grip the sides of the toilet. I've been at it for the last ten minutes. The five shots and lemon drops didn't mesh well in my system. Puke expels from my nose, making it difficult to breathe. Why do people like getting drunk? It freaking sucks!

A violent thud pounds on the door. "Hurry the fuck up!"

I gasp, on the verge of tears from all the puking. "Give me a goddamn second!"

"Fuck this!" The sudden slam causes my body to flinch, straightening up. Reflex. From all the times Damien would slam the door shut and unleash his wrath on me.

My stomach settles. The buzz wore off after my fifth puke. I collapse by the cabinets, resting my back and catching my breath as I flush the toilet. Gosh! I can't believe I stood in front of Julian in only my bathing suit. How awkward!

Whatever.

At least, I can say I tried.

I wanted Julian to be my first, but he won't budge. I can't wait any longer. After our graduation ceremony, I won't have another chance to see Jaxon. It's now or never. Groaning as I hoist myself using the counter, I gargle mouthwash and spit it into the sink. My pores are enormous from all the sweat, but luckily boys don't notice a difference.

Digging into my purse, I outline my lips with the nude pink gloss and press them together. The corset top fits my body like a glove, demanding attention at my pushed-up breasts. You got this, Isabela. Men are like equations-- we do them.

Once I flick the lock open, the door swings with force, striking me in my forehead, knocking me down. A smearing pain heightens on my forehead. Couldn't even give me a second to leave myself? I blink, trying to process the fact that I've been hit in the head, when I hear the faint sound of someone pissing in the toilet.

"Fucking finally," he cheers, emptying himself in the toilet.

What a gentleman. With a deep breath, I grip the rim of the counter and stand up to face the blonde, bouncing up and down as he zips up his jeans. My eyes go round like saucers when Jaxon turns around. He's the jerk that's been screaming at me for the past half an hour? I guess I understand.

I would be annoyed if I had to pee too.

"Isabela." Jaxon licks his lips. "I have been looking for you all night. I started to think you couldn't come."

I lightly chuckle. "Funny. I was also looking for you."

Jaxon's eyes sweep over my frame, lingering on my cleavage before clearing his throat. "Why don't we go to one of the bedrooms? For some privacy."

My pulse thumps under my skin. "Sure. I would love to chat where no one can bother us."

He slips his hand in mine, weaving us through the packed hallways, knocking on a few doors until he finds a vacant room. It's a standard room. A cozy flurry blanket conceals the white mattress. The gold pillows lay horizontally on the rim. A light beige bench stands ahead of the bed frame.

All forms of light vanish as he locks the door shut. Goosebumps erupt on my skin as I seek for security in the darkness. My body tenses when a lock rounds my wrist, yanking me to the bench. An uneasy feeling sinks into the pit of my stomach. Every time I close my eyes, I envision my father on those late nights when he would sneak into my room.

I'm not too fond of the dark.

Monsters parade in the dark.

My father thrives in the dark.

Shaking my head, I try to tell myself my father isn't here and he can't touch me again. I won't surrender to him. I won't be powerless.

"Isabela, did I mention how hot you look tonight?" Jaxon says, nudging my hair off my shoulders, leaving them bare. "God, I'm fucking crazy for you. I want you, baby."

"Mmm," I hum as he leaves a trail of kisses up the slope of my shoulders to my neck.

Unexpected fear slices through my chest as Jaxon's hands roam my body, stopping at my breasts and squeezing them. I shriek. His touch isn't soft-- it's brutal. I freeze. Hollow like a statue. He grabs my hand, bringing it inside his blazing underwear. Small. Floppy like a fish.

Just like Dad.

People always said you would know when it's the right person-- why is everything in my body telling me to stop this? Is this what they meant? But isn't this my fault? I must've given him signals for him to act like this. Right? Dad always said it was because of my tight pajama shorts.

"Not much boobs," Jaxon comments, "But your ass will do."

Chills run down my back as he climbs my throat, lathering wet kisses on my skin. I release a deep sigh. Sex is only a few minutes. It's either this or with Damien-- I guess good sex only exists in novels. I squeeze my thighs together when Jaxon's touch slithers down my hips. He grunts, forcing them open, stroking my clit through my panties.

"Mmm? So wet," he laughs, pushing my thong to the side. "Not surprised. I always make girls react like this."

I want to be okay with this.

I want to go through with this.

But something shatters inside, like broken shards, falling to the floor drenched in my blood. Every nerve in my body goes haywire—too much stimulation. The darkness, the touching, the roughness-- Jaxon reminds me too much of my father to continue this. I can't breathe. My throat is closing in.

He slowly pushes one finger in. "Jaxon." His finger twitches inside me, and I sob. "Jaxon."

"You love this shit, don't you, baby," Jaxon rasps in my ear, his breath heavily infused with vodka. "Just wait for my cock."

I shake my head. "S-Stop." Tears trail down my cheeks. "J-Jaxon. I-I can't."

"What, baby?" He says, lowering his head to my shoulder. Jaxon slips his finger out of my sex, jamming it back in full force. "Already going to come? Damn, I didn't know I was this good."

My thighs tighten around his wrist in reaction to the pain, stopping him in place. "I said stop it!" I shout, extracting myself from his touch, plunging off the bench. My vagina throbs from his rabid fingering-- Jaxon succeeded in making me never want to be touched again.

Jaxon groans, banging his fist on the bench. "Such a fucking tease. Are you really going to leave me with blue balls after I made you come?"

With tears stuck to my eyelashes, I stare at him in disbelief. "I-I told you to stop."

He scoffs. "You practically threw yourself at me for months, and the second I touch you, you want to stop? I thought you were going to be easy. Instead, you're just a whiny bitch."

"How can you act like it's my fault?" I sniffle, fighting to level my voice. "You never once asked if I was okay. You just kept going."

His lips thin. "Never had a girl complain before. Whatever, man." His footsteps echo further and further as the hallway light peeks through when he opens the door. "Dress like a slut and get treated like one. Stay there and cry. I'm going to go find someone else to fuck."

I'm flabbergasted.

To say the least.

Wet beads trickle down my cheeks, landing on my lips-- salty bliss. How is it my fault? I know I've been coming on a little too strong, but I said stop. I thought that was all I had to do. With my father, I stayed silent, but I couldn't. Not this time. Shame infects my blood like an iv loaded with nutrients.

Maybe they both had a point.

I dressed like a slut, so I deserved to get used like one. Raw sobs claw their route out of my throat, blending in with loud music in the background. I cling to my sleeves, pulling my knees to form a ball and resting my head on them. The movement forces a whimper out of my lips because of the soreness between my legs. Dirty. Worthless. Broken.

I strive to be happy, but sometimes the demons win. I get why Julian doesn't want me-- I don't even want to be me.

A glass vase with a permanent crack through the middle.

With shaky hands, I pull my phone out of my purse, dampening the screen with my tears as I tap Julian's contact. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Straight to voicemail. Maybe he took the night off and went to sleep with Kennedy.

'Leave a message at the beep.'

"Hey, Mr. Lui," I sniffle, wiping the splotches off my face. "It's Isabela. Well, I guess you probably already knew that. Umm... I-I think I made a mistake." A sob full of anguish fights to come out, but I silence it with my palm. "I just really want to go home. I'll be waiting in the lobby for ten minutes. If you have other plans, I'll just take an uber. You don't have to worry. Sorry for being a bother."

I end the call.

It strains my private area to move a muscle, but I'm not going to torture myself any longer by staying in here. My slothful walk makes the journey down the stairs twenty times harder. Everyone is in their own world. No one notices me, but I'm pleased about it. If someone asks if I'm okay, I think I will become a sobbing mess again.

The line for the elevator runs all the way down the hallway. I guess the universe doesn't want the torture to end just yet. Exiting the penthouse suite, I limp two flights before walking towards the elevator. The music is faint from down here. I feel horrible for all the people renting here.

The soothing elevator music causes my eyes to flutter shut on me. Gosh, I'm so exhausted. Hopefully, Damien stays in the club all night. I wouldn't want to deal with him. Tonight has been a ball of problems-- I need a break. My body jolts at the chime of the elevator opening, revealing the lively lobby.

Would he show up? Julian said he would always be here for me, but as a bodyguard or a friend? My eyes fall on the white numbers on my screen. It's been six minutes. Will he let me down again?

The breeze whirls through my hair, waking the goosebumps on my skin.

"Isabela!" My head snaps to the door at the harsh call of my name. "Are you fucking kidding me?" A seething Hanni slams the door, causing Everleigh's palms to hit the glass. "What did you do to Jaxon? He came to me crying."

"Crying?" Confusion swirls in my head.

"Yeah!" She flares her nostrils. "Just admit it! You didn't care about him at all! Was he a ploy to make Julian jealous? Do you even care about anyone else other than yourself?"

Blowing out a deep breath, I uncurl my arm from my waist. "I don't understand. Why does Jaxon's feeling matter?"

Hanni scoffs. "Why?"

Everleigh sighs, squeezing the bridge of her nose. "Jaxon is Hanni's adopted brother."

My mouth drops. "W-Why didn't you tell me?"

Everleigh opens her mouth to speak, but Hanni whacks her back against the stone of the building, and pounds in my direction. "Oh? Why? Would you actually fuck him if I told you? He said you accused him of raping you. My brother is a lot of things, but he's not a rapist."

Ten minutes are up.

I need to get the heck out of here.

I roll my eyes, heading towards the circle of taxis by the sidewalk. "I'm not discussing this with you."

My head cranes back from a tug on my hair. "Why not? You fucking bitch! No one talks shit about my family. Either face me or shut the fuck up!"

My heart races. "How did this get turned on me? I didn't do anything wrong. He forced himself on me, and I asked him to stop."

Everleigh shrugs. "You can't expect to dress like that and not put out, especially with Jaxon."

Frustration streams off my skin like evaporation. "My outfit has nothing to do with it. When I said stop, he should've respected it."

"Isabela." Everleigh cocks a brow at me. "No offense, but since day one, you have been pretty desperate to get a boyfriend. Hopping from Julian's dick to Jaxon's. You're a homie hopper. Just admit it."

My eyebrows brunch together in turmoil. "Homie hopper? Jesus. I hate to break it to you, but your brother is a piece of garbage. Oh, and a rapist."

Hanni laughs, removing her silver hoops from her ears and handing them to Everleigh. "You know what, Isabela? You know what's funny? You act like you're so innocent when you're the most manipulative bitch here! I didn't even want to be your friend. I was just trying to fuck Julian the entire time."

Pain flares in me. Is this what high school is all about? People being fake all the time? Jaxon-- now, Hanni and Everleigh. Why did I want to experience this? It sounded so magical in the stories and movies. Is it me? Am I too naive to catch a walking red flag, even if it's waving directly in my face?

Everleigh scratches the nape of her neck. "Don't act so shocked, Isabela. You have unicorn stickers on your folders, for fuck's sake, like what normal eighteen-year-old does that? No one would want to be caught dead with you. This can't be the first time. I mean, you're so weird. No wonder Julian doesn't want to fuck you."

Disappointed tears threaten to spill down my cheeks, but I hold them in. Enough is enough. "Thank god I never have to see either of you again! I would be very careful with what you do next because I'm not as innocent as I seem."

Pain inflames the back of my head as I tumble to the ground. Everything shifts in the snap of a finger. Her outburst catches me completely off-guard. Hanni yanks my hair to keep my head in place, repeatedly striking my cheek. My heartbeat quickens. Tainted memories flicker through my eyes with every punch. My dad, Damien-- Hanni.

It's like I can never escape the abuse.

I'm stuck in a venomous cycle.

How am I supposed to get out?

"Fuck you!" Hanni curses, leaving little time for me to regain mobility before slapping the shitzus out of me. "Now, you're never going to be able to say another word."

Wetness stains my cheeks. My muscles freeze. It's the assault all over again. I'm so used to being thrown like a rag-doll-- I don't react to her blows. They're weaker, less lethal than Damien's or Dad's. It's depressing that I've been hurt so frequently to be able to compare them. My entire face is numb.

My mind scrambles to cling to any piece of my soul eager to fight. I don't want to be powerless anymore. I don't know how I survived eighteen years of being a doormat, but I will not settle for a life I don't deserve!

Hate.

It's a powerful emotion, easily overpowering. I've never been a violent person-- it's not my coding, but that's what updates are for. I zone on the incoherent cluster of emotions within-- frustration, rage, disappointment, exposed.

My fist clenches by my hips, digging my nails into my palms. The sensation wakens a demon inside me, and my hand pounce, stopping Hanni's punch midway. My gaze hardens, narrowing, and I tumble into an endless pit.

It's like an out-of-body experience.

I twist Hanni's arm, evoking a scream for help. "What the fuck! Let me go, you fucking psycho! You already lost! No point in fighting anymore." She erupts into snickers, tugging her tongue across her teeth.

Chills run down my spine as I flip both of us on our axis. Hanni's smile leaves her face faster than it appears. A wild beast claws itself out of my skin, bashing her face with my fist. Screams echo in the background, muffled by the whirl of my jabs. Sweat droplets flow down my skin, causing my clothes and hair to stick to me.

I will not be powerless anymore.

I will make my own destiny.

Everyone will pay for everything I've gone through.

Taking a step back, I'm gasping for oxygen, staring at the blood on my knuckles. Is that mine or--

"Hanni!" Everleigh bawls, dropping to her knees. "Hanni! Say something."

My pulse thumps-thumps-thumps wildly. The beast that was loosed disappeared back into its shell, and it's just me. Regular, old Isabela. My knees almost cave in at the sight of him. Julian. A troubled look takes shape on his face. The ocean blue swirls in his irises, darting between Hanni and me.

Trembling, I follow the trail of blood droplets from my knuckles to the bloody, unconscious Hanni. Her face is unrecognizable. I did that? My stomach tightens into knots. She doesn't even look like she's breathing...

Holy moly-- did I kill her?

"Someone call an ambulance!" Everleigh pleas, sobbing uncontrollably. "She's not breathing. Oh my god, she's not breathing! You're a psychopath!"

Alarm settles in. My vision is cloudy. Everything moves in waves. My chest aches. I cling to the top of my dress, gasping in loud bursts. I can't breathe. I don't know what's happening. Everything hurts...

An anxiety-riddle Julian is the last thing I see before everything goes blank.

Chapters like these makes me feel so evil... like Isabela deserves a better author tbh... I'm putting her through too much 🥹🥹🥹🥹💜💜💜she deserves the world and a big hug!!!

Comment here to give Isabela a hug 🥹😂💜❤️....

What do you think about Jaxon? Worse than Damien? Same level? Really just want to stab his eyes with a forks? 👀👀let me know...

What about Hanni and Everleigh... sad to say they weren't the true friends Isabela deserves 🥹🥹🥹she had to learn the harsh truth... I feel so guilty

Guys put me in jail for hurting our baby like this 😨😨😨🔥🔥🔥I'll understand...

What do you think Julian is thinking? Do you think this event will change Isabela in the long run?

Thank you for waiting eagerly for this update....... And the next one is going to be even better 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨🤭🤭🤭🤭 stay alert for it ;)

Love you ❤️❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜