Hectic.

Simple as that.

There's hardly been a second of breathing in this household, especially with Damien present. Isabela had to continue her next day as if nothing was wrong and listen to everything Damien demanded. However, that doesn't mean Isabela hadn't been cooped up in her bedroom all week.

A dozen clouds have clogged my sun in the sky. The white cushion of fluff is a deep shade of gray, heavy with pollution. Here and there, the cloud moves away long enough to get a glimpse of the sun's smile, but it always vanishes in the blink of an eye. My shadows dominate when there is no light in sight.

I don't know how to fix it.

Nothing can change my contributions to the premature death of her brothers, but I'll be an idiot to sit back without trying. Humans always make mistakes-- it's engraved in our DNA. Our job is where do we go from here? My father would repeat the same error even worse than before. I don't want to follow in his footsteps. Not only for me but Isabela, I want to shove the clouds away from her. 

Save her.

Minimize the pain as best as I can.

Damien packed all his shit and left back to Italy.

Isabela and I are due to join him in two days. Her days of freedom are ticking down like sand in a bottle. While I want to help her achieve her bucket list, it's the last thing I am concerned about. First thing first-- is to give her a night to smile freely and pour all her thoughts out in silence or confidence.

I'm not really good at surprises.

I never had to do this. Or want to. The only person I would go to these lengths for was my mother, but she never wanted me to waste money on something so nonsensical. Mama and Isabela have a few things in common, like how little money means to them. They're interested in the effort put into it. As cliche as it sounds, it's the thought that counts.

I hang the last rainbow of circular lights on wooden branches, twisting them around to look like a Christmas tree. The flashy orangey flame sparks in rotating tornado form in the bonfire under the trees-- on the table is a bottle of champagne and chocolate snacks for Isabela to munch on. Two microscopes rest by the lawn chair.

I sigh in relief.

Everything looks as perfect as I could get on twenty-four hours' notice. There are a couple of surprises I have up my sleeve if this isn't enough to make Isabela smile. After saying a quick prayer, I sprint up the stairs and knock on Isabela's door.

Isabela opens the door, slanting her hips against the doorframe as a few hair strands fall from her bun to her forehead. Her bunny-like cheeks are puffed up, bright like the salmon. There's a hint of the black circles peeking through the makeup on her eyes, but it doesn't take away from her beauty at all. Isabela is the most gorgeous girl I've seen, and she doesn't even have to try.

"Hey." Isabela flashes a closed-lip smile. "I'm almost done. I'm not really hungry, so you don't have to wait for me."

"You said the same thing yesterday."

Isabela shrugs. "I know. I know. But I don't feel like eating. I'll probably take a nap or listen to some music."

My hand reaches out to grab her hand, placing it on my chest and massaging the tension in her knuckles. "Okay. Before all that, can I show you something outside?"

She groans. "I'm really not up for anything, Mr. Lui. I'm exhausted."

I gnaw at the inside of my cheek. "It will be quick. I promise. Five minutes."

Hesitation lingers on Isabela's features before she sighs and closes the door behind her. "Okay. Five minutes only."

Isabela steps in front of me and descends the flight of stairs until I grab her midway. Her shoulders tense. Lately, every time I touch an inch of her skin, Isabela shrivels into her rock-hard shell like a turtle. She doesn't fully trust me anymore, and I completely understand. My heart swells with heartache. How quickly the night passes, and how everything changes.

She breathes smoothly through her nose as I coil the bandana around her eyes. "Shh... Shh..." To my surprise, her muscles loosen faster. "I'm not going to do anything you're not comfortable with. If you want it off, just say the word."

Isabela toys with the ends of the bow on her wrists. "Do we have a particular word in mind? Or a phrase? Like a safe word? I think that's what people call it."

My eyebrow arches. "Do you have a word in mind?"

"Big round balls."

My eyes shoot to the sly trickle of amusement on her face. It's refreshing. She's trying to keep our conversation light-hearted. We can't act like how we did before-- making out day and night. Guilt burst out from the seams of my body like a doll full of wool.

I know there were a lot of things left unsaid that night, but both of us were too scared to touch on them. I could've lost Isabela if I wasn't watching her like a hawk. All because I confessed where her family was instead of staying quiet. I had one job. One single thing-- to keep her trust intact, I failed. Miserably. I can't ever take it back.

Families, even broken families, still have a hold on you. My father haunts me from the grave, and I'm the reason he got there. They can commit horrific crimes, and somehow we still care. I don't understand the psychology behind the reasoning, but I think it has to do with the term "family". Things are suddenly different if the criminal is a part of your family, even if the crimes committed were inflicted on us.

We can't simply erase their darkness from us.

It's always there, lingering in the shadows like the creatures in the night.

Enveloping the bandana across her eyes, I cradle her fingertips in my palms and guide her down the stairs. This is progress. She trusts me enough to lead her anywhere I want. That has to stand for something.

"Be careful here," I advise, directing her towards the deck stairs and placing one of her hands on the railing. "Don't take it off until I say, okay? I just have one more thing to fix."

My feet lead me to the crooked banner, pulling on the line to fix the placement, and grab the bouquet, her cap and gown, and her diploma. I hope she loves this. God, that's all I ask for--I'm desperate to see her smile again-- her real smile.

"Okay." My voice trembles as I clear my throat to shake it off. "You can take it off."

Her acrylic nails pull at the bandana seams, causing it to fall on her shoulders, and her eyes widen in shock. Those engaged pupils sweep across the entire backyard, locking last on me. I swallow hard. My heart misses a beat. Her stare burns into me, speechless for words, and I feel warmth flood my cheeks.

I don't want to fuck this up.

"A lot of things happened that day." I clear my throat, loosening the button of my collar on my neck. "We never got the chance to celebrate your graduation. I want to mimic what your graduation would've looked like."

My eyes fall shut, waiting to hear her reaction.

"You did this? All of this... for me?"

An unreadable expression graces her face. My mind racks over the possibilities of what she could be feeling internally. She's clutching her feelings closer than ever before, and I don't blame her for one second.

Taking a step forward, I hand over the purple graduation cap and gown. "I know how much it meant to you. It's a shame it got ruined."

Her fingertips skim over the fabric, lost in a train of thought as she clutches the material harsher with every fleeting second. "It's okay. Damien did me a favor. I would've probably ended up in another brawl with Hanni had I gone." She extends her hand, passing the clothing back to me. "Besides, I'm dirty and sweating. I wouldn't want memories looking like this."

Her words take me back, and I blink. "Like what?" She has such a firm hold on my heart, it's alarming. "You fail to see your beauty, Miss. Arias, should we exchange eyes so you can see yourself from my point of view?" My knuckles brush down the slope of her cheek, clutching her chin.

She nibbles on her bottom lip. "I don't feel like myself, Mr. Lui."

"Let's play pretend? Have you ever played?"

Her frown burns the insides of the organ beating in my chest, leaving a pool of blood and guts. "Every day in that dungeon, I pretended Mika, and I were strutting through the cities of Paris. Fantasy always tends to be better than reality."

There are a lot of things Isabela hasn't shared with me. I don't know if I'll ever get the possibility of discovering them, but hearing Isabela bringing up the past plunges a stake in my heart. If it pains me this much to hear, then I can't even imagine Isabela living through it.

I try to keep my voice light and soothing. "Let's play tonight, one last time. You won't ever have to play this shitty game again... reality will be better than fantasy. I promise you that much."

She grabs the graduation gown and cap and tosses them over her frame. Sadness lingers in her chocolate-color irises, disappearing with every blink, replaced by satisfaction. Not too much of a difference. The pain is grand, immense-- I wish I could take some away. The dark purple of the gown clashes with her baby pink jumpsuit, but she's always been my colorful mess.

I flip the switch on the microphone. "Introducing the class of two-thousand and twenty-three is Julian Lui." I enthusiastically clap my hands to play the facade of the yard being a packed audience, and Isabela joins in, hiding a hint of a grin as she shakes her head. "While I'll like to congratulate all the thirty graduates, I want to focus on one specifically first."

"Oh, my gosh!" Isabela shrieks, covering her eyes with her palms.

"Our valedictorian Isabela Arias," I tease, chanting 'Go Isabela, go Isabela', until her cheeks matched the color of cherries. "She not only got the highest average in the class, but is a hard-working, beautiful, headstrong woman. She has a bright future ahead of her-- no matter what path she chooses, let's give a hand to the Queen in the making, Isabela." 

Embarrassment floods her cheeks as she sprints over to me, grabbing the diploma from my hand, but before she runs away, I grab her arm. "Ah... Ah... Ah... Who wants to hear Isabela give a speech?" I twist my head in all directions, pretending to get a response from the crowd. "Everyone does!"

A snicker escapes her lips. "You can't be serious."

"What?" I smirk, licking my lips. "You had me proofread your speech eight times. I want everyone to be able to hear it."

Isabela rolls her eyes. "There's literally no one here."

My eyes narrow. "Hey, I don't think they will appreciate you disregarding them."

Confusion washes over her face. "Who?"

My little stunt comes into vision when I spin the extra lawn chair around, revealing Cuddle's mutilated body. In her bunny arms is a tiny envelope and flowers for Isabela. It took a lot of ambition to fold the baby petal with my enormous fingers, but I pulled through for her-- For Isabela.

Isabela gasps. "Oh my gosh, I did that to her?" Isabela's mouth falls open as she pushes Cuddle's eyepatch up. "Holy moly! She's missing an eye."

"Just like me."

Isabela stifles a laugh, trying to hide it by slamming her palm on her lip. "That's not funny. That's not funny."

I shrug. "Miss. Arias, it's okay. Nothing diminishes trauma better than laughter. I meant to make you laugh." I squat down, flicking the eyepatch back and forth. "At least Cuddles still looks cute."

Isabela gnaws on her lips as she rests her hand on my shoulder. "I still think you look cute."

Something in my stomach flips, soaring high to cloud nine, but I disguise it with a scrunch of my nose. "Mmm. Now, I understand why you don't like the word cute."

She arches her brow. "And now I'm going to torture you with it."

Stealing the gifts from Cuddle's arm, I forward them to Isabela, whose mouth slacks open in astonishment. Excitement glimmers in her eyes as she rips open the tiny envelope and unfolds the bite-size paper. There's a picture of a smiley graduation sun, which again took a lot of effort to draw in a small glob of paper.

While Isabela's attention is on the flowers, I bring out my second surprise in a tiny box with holes jabbed on the side and hold it in front of her. "What is this?"

I wiggle my brows. "Open it."

Cautiously, Isabela pulls the ribbon on the top, unraveling the lid to reveal a baby pig in the box. "Oh, my gosh!" Isabela instantly melts, scratching the back of the pig's neck, cooing at it. "You're such a cute little fella, aren't you? How did you get a baby freaking pig?"

I chuckled at the tiny pig trying to leap out of the box, but his legs weren't long enough. "I went by the farmer's market, and they were giving them away. I instantly thought of you. Pets are the best companion."

The piglet's snout wiggles as it inhales Isabela's vanilla scent, cuddling into her frame. It's perfect. He loves her already. Animals always have a kine nose for innocent, pure souls. Isabela presses her cheek into the side of the piglet's face, her eyes conveying a mood of peace. If I can't get her to smile, this piglet undoubtedly can.

"What are you going to name him?"

Isabela blinks. "Jimmy-Steve. That's going to be this cutie-patootie name!"

I give her a deep, concerned side-eye. "That's the best you can come up with? Jimmy-Steve? This poor pig. You're bullying him."

"Am not!" Isabela protests, clutching the piglet in her chest. "Jimmy-Steve loves me and his name. The only one bullying him is you, and his a child. That says a lot about your character, Mr. Lui."

A blush creeps up my neck. "Great. Now, everyone is ganging up against me. Jimmy-Steve is a lovely name. I'm so sorry for doubting it," I say, slightly lying through my teeth as I slyly flip the birdie at Isabela.

She gasps, turning her body and Jimmy-Steve away from my hand. "He's a baby. He shouldn't be exposed to that kind of language, Mr. Lui. How irresponsible of you."

"Irresponsible?" I repeat, licking my lips as my eyes float over Isabela's frame. "Like when I bend you over the hood of my car and spanked that sexy ass of yours?"

Pink blossom blush invades Isabela's cheeks, resembling Jimmy-Steve in her arms. "Mmm... I think it was more irresponsible of you to give in to what I've been wanting by kissing me. We are teetering between a flimsy rope, Mr. Lui."

There's a smug look on her face, an adorable one. It does something to my heart. Rearrange it? I don't know, but I like it. Why was I so opposed to feeling these emotions? Hundred times better than the shitty way I used to feel. A playful sparkle glimmers in her bronze eyes-- I think she wants me to kiss her.

It's easier to bury the words left unsaid with lustful acts-- a natural reaction. It would only complicate the gray lines of our relationship, if we can even call it that anymore. Turning a blind eye will only do more harm than good.

I clear my throat. "Now that there is a packed audience," I say, stealing Jimmy-Steve from his mother's arms. "We can finally hear your speech. We're super excited."

Isabela rolls her eyes. "I-I don't even remember it."

"Make it up on go," I say casually, settling in the lawn chair with Jimmy-Steve on my lap.

She fidgets with the long strands of hair framing her face, twisting them into ringlets. "Good evening, everyone, I'm Isabela Arias. Gosh, I can't believe I'm going through with this." Isabela pauses, squeezing her eyes. "First, I'll like to shout out a huge thank-you to my classmate Mr. Lui, who helped me finally attend school. I've always wanted to feel ordinary, and have to study boring stuff like math."

Jimmy-Steve oinks in agreement, and a husky chuckle departs from me. She would have the entire audience in the palm of her hands. A girl like her can charm the daylights out of anyone.

"It sounds stupid when I say it out loud, but I've never, ever been happier. I love studying, and I hope one day I can attend college, too." She paces around the stage, her bunny slippers squeaking on the wooden panels. "There's just one person I'll need-- Mr. Lui. I ultimately couldn't do this without him. He's an excellent teacher and an even better snack buyer. There are a lot of things I wanted to say, but I'm blanking. So I'll end my speech with this... You made my dream come true. And for that, I'll be grateful."

Isabela laughs as she flings her graduation cap into the sky and jumps in the air. Little moments like these make me appreciate the insignificant things in my life. A dead weight looms on my shoulders, but I could still live my life for me... one day, once I save her.

Grabbing Jimmy-Steve's limbs, I clash them and yell 'oooo' at her impressive speech. Impressive for being made on the spot. A grin creeps across her face as she performs a curtsy, bending her upper body to a deep bow.

Golden hour sinks in, radiating its yellow tint on Isabela's face, blinding her. Carefully, I place Jimmy-Steve in his gift box and hustle to the staircase leading up the deck. I unlock my phone screen and click on the picture icon, instantly capturing photos of her caught off-guard. Those always produced the best ones. But I did want one particular picture-- a photo of us together.

"For the history books."

Isabela snuggles into my chest, placing her head under my chin. Her lavender-vanilla scent so fresh, so familiar, so perfect. She takes my cell phone in her hands, extending her arms to capture the both of us in the frame. I cocoon my arms around her neck, clutching onto her warmth. Jesus, I don't know if I'll ever be able to let go.

"Smile for me, okay?" Isabela asks.

"As long as you do the same."

A light flashes on the phone. It's beautiful. Anything with Isabela is. My heart clenches. I'll hold this photo tightly to my chest when our time arrives at the end-- all good things do. I slip her hand in mine, steering us toward the lawn chairs and microscope. There's one last thing I have to show her.

The bright yellow resemblance of the sun disappears into the earth, replaced by navy-blue shadows. Bright white specks twinkle in the sky, shining their light on our part of our word. A constellation that we won't see again until next winter.

"Thank you for this." Isabela clutches the gown material in her lap. "Seriously. I thought I didn't care about missing it, but I did... I really wanted to walk down that stage and feel accomplished."

My eyes drift over her. "It might not be like the real thing, but I tried recreating the best I could. You're someone worth using all my time on."

Isabela holds her breath, slowly letting out through her nostrils. "Mr. Lui... A-are we still in a strictly physical relationship, right? This seems almost too personal."

My breath catches--using my terms against me, huh? "Yeah. You're right," I snap, lowering the lawn chair to lie horizontal. Silence weaves its way into the atmosphere like a snake. It's like a venomous bite that numbs us as we let the silence win.

Isabela's chair slams back in a -thud-, propelling her backward with a gasp escaping her. From the corner of my eye, I see her switching to her side and sighing.

"Mr. Lui... I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Her teeth sink into her lips. "But isn't it too soon for me to have feelings for you? I don't want you to be my lifeline, Julian."

"Why not?"

She scoffs. "Is that a serious question?"

A dark chuckle escapes my lip. "What if it is, Isabela?"

"You got my brothers murdered," she adds emphasis to her words. "How do you expect me to forgive you in a day? Planning an entire graduation ceremony doesn't get you off the hook."

I hoist myself into a sitting position, dropping my head in my lap, and tug on my hair. "I know... I know I fucked everything up, but tell me what I can do to fix it... that's all I want. Please, I feel like I can't breathe... I just want your forgiveness."

Isabela tears her gaze away from mine. "I don't know, Julian. I'm a stubborn bish. Maybe there's nothing you can do."

Back to the drawing board. Earning trust isn't an easy thing, but fuck do I want Isabela's. The agony will swallow me whole if I don't fix this. I won't give up until she tells me to.

I sigh, dragging my palm down my face. "Okay." Grabbing my last surprise underneath my chair, I drop the envelope in her lap and jerk up from my chair. "I understand. I got you something. Open it if you want or throw it out. I'm heading in."

Before heading into the house, I sweep the confetti, and the wrapping paper from the floor, dunking them into the trashcan. A screeching tear captures my attention. Shock courses through me. I didn't think she would rip it up. From the looks of it, I don't think I'll ever be able to fix things between us.

A wooden step creaks under my weight.

It's almost enough to distract me from the soft whimpers in the background. Almost. I hate to say I know that sound well enough to decipher it-- Isabela is crying. My heart rips to shreds. This wasn't my intention at all. My frustration blinded me, and I left my girl alone in the dark to cry.

Every step closer I take, the more profound her sobs vibrate into the wind like a broken symphony. "Isabela... I'm so fucking sorry. I keep fucking everything up. I-I didn't want to make you cry."

Isabela's face scrunches up as she tries to hold a sob. "Why did you get me this?" Her face points at the envelope.

I swallow hard. "It was supposed to be a parting gift. Isabela, I can never bring your siblings back, and for that, I'll regret my entire life, but I wanted to give you some way to remember them." I shift my attention to the sky, pointing at the stars. "Right there. Those four stars. I named them after your brothers, so every winter, when you look up in the sky, they will be waiting for you to say hi. They will always be with you, not only in your heart, but up there too."

A gut-wrenching sob leaves her mouth as she curls into herself, soaking the grass with tears. It's energy-consuming, convulsing through her body. Her whimpers tug at my heartstrings. God, I'm so weak when it comes to her. I drop into the chair, pulling her into my arms, stroking the back of her head.

"Baby, it's okay," I whisper, grief filling my chest. "Let it all out."

Isabela's grasp tightens around my neck. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Tears threaten to fall down my face. "Baby, what are you sorry for? You have nothing to feel sorry for."

She shakes her head. "All this time, I've been blaming you," she croaks, her voice shaky. "But it's really my fault, Julian. I got them killed. It's my fault. All because I thought I had some power over Damien. How could I be so stupid? First my mom, now my brothers? Why do I keep getting every killed? Why am I so stupid?"

"It's not your fault, Isabela. Erase that thought from your head." I cup her face and bring it down until her forehead touches mine. "You couldn't have known. Isabela, listen to me... this isn't your fault. Neither were. This is all Damien. He wants to break you, and you can't let him win. Baby, please listen to me."

"How can you stand the sight of me? I'm broken." Her voice cracks.

"Because you're the most thoughtful, compassionate, sensitive, beautiful soul I've ever seen." Using my thumbs, I wipe the tears off her cheeks, placing a kiss on her button nose. "When I look at you, I promise that's all I see. The good, the bad, no matter what, you're still the best person I know."

She rubs her nose against mine. "And you're mine."

My heart twist at her words. The air shifts between us and becomes charged with clarity and blissfulness. A jolt in my heart jump-starts when Isabela leans forward, capturing my lips in a kiss. My stomach dips. Her soft lips mold into mine so perfectly. My body warms up in response, relaxing into the kiss, clasping onto her hands.

Can I stay by her side when winter comes again?

Fuck.

That's all I want... but I don't know if I'll get lucky enough.

Hey guys... I feel like this chapter is such an upgraded from last chapter like it's bittersweet, but it's adorable, cute and sweet!! I just loved writing this chapter and I hope you guys do too!!

What's your favorite thing about this chapter?

Are you surprised of how easily Isabela forgave Julian? Do you think it's deserved?

Where do you think things will go from here? Who what do you hope happens 👀👀👀 I heard a wedding is real close...

Thank you so much for supporting Isabela and Julian's story and I can't wait to shock you with more things that are yet to come !!!

Love ya!!! ❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜❤️💜