"Seth is gonna come watch you this afternoon." Roman told me as he cleared his throat, "He flew in this morning, but I figured you didn't want to deal with him that early."

"I don't need your boyfriend looking after me." I mumbled as I fiddled with the front end of my t-shirt.

"Will you cut that out?" He asked as he rolled his eyes, "He's not- were not- why do you even say that?"

"Say what?" I asked, "That he's your boyfriend? Because you like him, thus making him your boyfriend."

"That's not how that works."

"You didn't deny liking him."

"Will you knock it off?" He shot at me as I smirked, but I didn't press it any further.

"Why is your boyfriend- I mean Seth coming to watch me anyways?" I asked and smirked at the small glare I received in response.

"I.." he started then shook his head, "I'm going out for a little while."

I raised a brow as I looked over at him. Roman never so much as left the hospital, let alone had plans to leave.

"Where are you going?" I questioned and he shrugged.

"Nowhere important."

"Will you just tell me?" I rolled my eyes, "I just wanna know where you'll be."

He stayed silent for a moment before sighing, "RAW's in town. I was just  gonna go socialize for a little bit. Seth doesn't have a match tonight so he offered to come stay with you while I went out."

"Oh..." I mumbled, "Well why didn't you just say that? Have fun."

"If you need me to stay here then I will." He tried to tell me, "Just say the word."

"No, go." I told him, "You never go out. Go have fun, but take Seth with you. I can be alone for a while. I think I need it."

He gave a small smile but remained silent as he looked down towards his shoes.

"Have they talked to you about coming back?" I asked and he sighed.

"Of course." He replied, "They want me in a Maina storyline. Possibly winning the Rumble again and then taking the title back."

I frowned slightly, "You want that?"

He stayed silent for a moment, then shrugged and leaned against the wall, "If that's what they wanna do then I guess."

I frowned slightly as I looked back down towards my shirt.

One thing I hadn't dealt with in a long while was the WWE. I got an occasional visitor every now and then, but I hadn't dealt with the company as a whole in a very long while.

Despite most wrestlers wanting their path to lead directly to the WWE, it was a very toxic environment.

Some people are literally hired just to sit in catering their entire career while others are worked to death.

The company only wanted what looked good for them. Roman just so happened to make them look really good.

He could get a reaction out of anybody. He turned heads. He put bodies in seats. He did what they wanted without questioning them.

And they didn't give a damn whether or not he was working himself into a hole or not.

It wasn't too long ago that the roles we are now playing were in reverse.

I took care of Roman. I'd sit out his medicine. Try to get him out of bed to face the next day. Hoping, praying, pleading, that he wouldn't try anything that would hurt himself.

But look where we are now. He had dropped his title for me. Stepped away from the company for me. Put his career on hold for me. But I believe the time away from the company is actually good for him. Not necessarily taking care of me, but I think he started taking care of himself as well.

But I feared going back into the company would bring back old demons. That's something I couldn't watch him go through again.

The biggest fear I had for Roman is what I tried to do to myself.

"I want more control over my character." He told me after the silence, "My contract is almost up. I won't resign unless they promise me that I get to have a say in what I do. I'm not their puppet."

I raised a brow but couldn't help but smirk a little, "You think they'll actually consider it?"

"They'll lose their best worker if they do." He shrugged, "and that's their loss, right?"

"I like this new confidence." I smiled, "It looks good on you."

He gave a small smile as he looked down toward the floor, immediately looking up when there was a knock on the door.

"Come in." Roman answered and seconds later the door opened slowly.

"Knock, knock." A voice called out and I raised a brow at the sight of the person entering the room.

"Stephanie?" I questioned.

"Don't look so happy to see me Dean." She said with a small laugh, then waved, "How are you Roman?"

"Sorry," I mumbled as Roman simply gave her a thumbs up, "I just wasn't expecting any visitors."

She gave a sheepish smile, "Sorry. You're right. I should have called. I just wanted to check in on you-"

"Annnnd you want something." I pointed out as I wheeled myself away from the window. 

"Now why would you say that?" She laughed only to sigh moments later when I gave her a look, "Well, I don't want something."

"Then who does?" Roman questioned.

"My Dad." She sighed, "Look. Dad doesn't know how to... handle this. He's never been good in these sorta situations."

"You mean in situations in which people try to kill themselves?" I questioned with a shrug, "I don't think anyone handles it well if we're being honest. It's not like he's had to deal with many."

"Yet one is more than enough." She sighed.

"What are you trying to get at Steph?" I questioned.

"He wants you to talk to the media." She explained, "Let them know you're alright."

"But I'm not alright." I pointed out, "I can hardly walk."

"But you're getting better." She pointed out, "The last time I came to see you were laying in the bed and could barely speak. The time before that you weren't even awake yet. You're progressing. Let the world know about it."

"Why can't the company release a statement?" I questioned and her silence made me raise a brow, "So how bad did Vince fuck up that he personally needs me to do him a favor? What exactly did he do?"

"When..." she started then stopped, "Um, all this happened, my dad kept quiet. He wanted to respect you can Nikki's privacy."

"He didn't want our names tied with the company." I shrugged, "You don't have to sugar coat it Stephanie."

She sighed, "He meant well... I think. I don't think he thought this was going to backfire on him like this. But now that it has, it'll look bad if it comes from him. But imagine how it will look if it came from you. There you are, telling the world exactly how you feel."

"I feel like fucking shit." I pointed out and she frowned.

"Dean-" she started but I stopped her immediately.

"I don't wanna hear it." I interrupted harshly, "I don't think you get it Stephanie. I'm not alright and I'm not about to lie about it."

"Dean you're getting better-" she tried to counter.

"And how would you know?" I spoke loudly, "What? The scars are healing? I can somewhat find my balance? I can speak now? Are those signs of getting better? Because I guaran-fucking-tee that if I was given the chance to go back to that balcony right now I would."

"Dean-" Roman tried to speak but I immediately blocked out the sound of his voice.

"I'm not fucking okay Stephanie." I shot at her, "I'm far from okay. Can we take a fucking moment and stop downplaying what I tried to do. I'm trying to fucking die!"

My last words echoed off of the walls of the room and my breathing quickly became uneven. I shut my eyes tightly as I balled my hands into fists.

"If you wanted to die so bad you would have." I heard her voice commented and my eyes immediately snapped back open.

"You wouldn't have fought so hard to open your eyes again." She told me, "You wouldn't have attempted to speak again, to walk again, to breath, to eat, to see Nikki. So if you want to die so bad then why are you here? If you are so determined then what's stopping you?"

"That's enough Stephanie." Roman commanded but she only glanced at him before shaking his head.

"I want him to answer my question." She told him.

"I said that's enough." He practically growled, "I think it's time for you to go."

Her eyes locked with Roman's now. Neither of them spoke aloud, but seemed to be screaming at each other through their eyes.

"Alright." Stephanie backed down, breaking eye contact with Roman just to look at me, "I'll see you soon."

"I wouldn't count on it." I mumbled but she simply shook her head, looking as though she wanted to say more, but didn't as she walked towards the door.

As the door clicked shut behind her I let out a short breath. I hadn't done anything the entire day but I suddenly felt drained.

"God she's still annoying." I mumbled into the still air then cleared my throat, "So what time is Seth coming over?"

"I think I'll cancel on Raw." Roman mumbled as he rose up from the couch, "Staying here is more important."

"Roman I-" I started to say but he raised a hand.

"It's whatever. I won't go." He mumbled, "I think it's for the best.

I frowned as I sat back in my chair, nothing was going to change his mind. I felt bad that I made him feel like he had to watch over me.

I stayed quiet as I sat there, closing my eyes as I attempted to remain calm.

'I'd be alright if you were here.'