"Fucking assholes!" I shouted as I kicked my foot against the door, causing me to roll away from it in my wheelchair.

"Calm down Dean." Roman said with a sigh.

"I will not calm down!" I protested loudly, "They're fucking assholes! I need to be with her right now!"

"I get it." Roman said tiredly, "I really do, but there's nothing you can do about it Dean. Losing your mind isn't going to help anything. You gotta calm down, man."

"Do not tell me to calm down Roman." I growled at him, "What if that was you're daughter or one of you're baby boys back their. You're gonna want someone to be back there with them. You're gonna wanna be back their with them!"

"I said I fucking get it." He suddenly snapped and I'm honestly a bit taken aback, "You wanna see her. Got it. Fully understand. But if you keep yelling and screaming and banging against shit then they'll never let you out of this damn room again let alone actually go see her. Now calm the fuck down."

I was quiet for a moment before scoffing slightly, "I didn't know you had a set."

He simply stared at me for a moment before sighing and laying back onto the couch. I guess he figured that was the most civil response he was going to get.

His comment did leave me in a bit of shock. In all my years of knowing Roman Reigns he had never used that tone of voice with me. In fact, I never hear him use that tone of voice with anybody except his opponent in the ring.

Where was the old Roman? The quiet Roman, meek and shy, slept a lot... well he still slept a lot, but he was less shy now. He talks a lot more.

I partly believe it's due to him trying to have a cheerful attitude for my sake, but I think it has a lot to do with Seth. That, and the fact that he isn't slaving for the company at this very moment. He needed a break. For Christ sake, Roman, Seth, and I have been running a nonstop marathon since debuting in 2012. His position in the company is strange and his position with the fans is even stranger than that. He's under a lot a pressure. A break was more than needed.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." He mumbled, "I get your upset, but being upset won't help anything. If it were left up to me you'd be right by her side with no questions asked, but you're not. She's not alone Dean. Her mom is with her. She's been by her side this entire time and she won't leave her."

I sighed and held the weight of my head in my hand, "Rule number one: don't apologize."

He gave no response and I merely frowned as I continued to look at the door.

It had been a few hours since I had to leave Nikki, meaning it had only been a few hours since Nikki had woken up.

She woke up.

After four long months she had finally opened her eyes....

For me.

Call me crazy, call me insane, call me a wacko, I promise it won't hurt my feelings, but I honestly believe I woke her up.

She woke up the very day I go see her. Coincidence? I think not.

But despite her waking up... she looked bad.

Her skin was clammy, one arm was severely scraped and I assume the other one was the exact same way, only I couldn't see because of the cast that covered her left hand to her elbow.

She wore a neck brace, and a cast on her left foot peaked out of the covers she wore.

Then she opened her eyes.

Same big brown eyes, except they were red. Red like she had been crying for the past four months and filled with pain I couldn't describe.

And that's when I began to regret waking her up.

She was in so much pain.

And to sit there and watch her come to her senses.

To watch her come back into reality.

To see her look so confused only to see her go right back to being in pain.

And to know that I couldn't help her absolutely killed me.

She shouldn't have to be going through this. She shouldn't have came up there with me...

But she willingly did it... for me?

What was so special about me?

Nothing. There not a good enough reason. She shouldn't be going through this.

If only I had jumped a little bit faster.

Maybe I shouldn't have sat there so long.

I should have jumped the moment I got back to the god forsaken hotel.

I shouldn't have went to the fucking wedding.

For god sake, I shouldn't be here.

"Fucking damn it." I mumbled lowly, "God fucking damn it."

"Dean?" I heard Roman question.

"How did I fuck up Roman?" I mumbled as a unwanted lump began forming in my throat, "What the hell happened? She should be off in some mansion with Cena. She should be a newly wedded wife. She shouldn't be in some emergency care center. She wouldn't have been if I would have just left her alone."

"She didn't want you to leave her alone, Dean." Roman commented softly.

"Then I should have never gotten to know her." I commented lowly as tears dared to escape my eyes, "This is my fault."

"No, Dean." Roman commented, "Its not."

"Don't tell me it's not when it is!" I shot at him, "She wouldn't be here if it weren't for me. I put her here."

"She had a choice, Dean." Roman sighed.

"And she should have chosen life." I commented as hands began to trembled, "I shouldn't have even given her the choice."

He was silent for a moment as I sniffed. He's probably tired of trying to convince me otherwise.

I heard him sigh and seconds later I felt two arms wrap around me. He didn't make another sound as he rested his chin on top of my head.

I wanted to push him off, or at least tell him to move, but I couldn't bring myself to do so.

The fact that I've been a dick to him and he's constantly here for me makes the lump in my throat grow larger.

Truth be told, I shouldn't have him either.

I grab hold of his arms, clinging to them as though my life depended on it, then leaned my head against his chest.

I wanted to cry.

I probably should. Maybe it'd release a lot of this frustration I felt.

But of course I won't.

I won't cry.

I never do.

I'll just keep it to myself. Let things pass. I'll be alright.

I'm always alright.

Except I'm not.