So my fren ThatDamTonks posted a rant about bullying. That really triggered me. I am kinda mad now.

I already knew she was bullied, she told me about it. (Your hair is beautiful.)
Those guys bullied me too, like one and al half year ago and I really hate them. I'll tell you the story.

So our school had a dance thingy (which we had to do) where we had groups of a few people from your class and from another one. We were 1C and the other class was 1D.

We learned the dance, but then the woman who taught us said that there was also a duet. There were several girls (several girls) who wanted to do it, but I tried to make myself invisible. I really, really hate attention and being on stage.
Like I said there were many girls who actually said out loud that they wanted to do it, but that woman, that dam fucking woman, decided that I, who wanted it the least should do it. And because I was (and still am) way too shy to say something, I didn't refuse.

And then, then she picked one of the boys from the other class - the other class! - so it was even worse. I didn't even know the boy's name, had never seen him before.

So I had to do a duet with him, which was wáy too touchy. (I hate being touched, hugged or kissed, except for my friends.) And that wasn't even the worst thing. Oh no, of course it had to be way worse.

We. Had. To. Perform. It.

We had to fucking perform it in front of parents, teachers, everyone!

Oh, and did I mention that I also had to do a solo???

Our group was a little at the end, so we sat at the back. I literary almost cried. That's how awful it was for me. The thought to just run to the toilets and don't come out until it was over played in my head, but I was too coward to do that. Wait, I remember I did cry, but so that no one saw.

Oh, and I had to perform twice, for the final rehearsal and the performance itself.

Afterwards, I thought it was over and went home.
The key word is thought.

It was a Wednesday, so we had to go to school the next day.

Some kids from 1D, the class that was with us, said things like "Where is your boyfriend?", meaning the kid I had to dance with (I found out his name is Lucas, by the way. Hate that name, because of that.) and probably called me some names I don't remember.

This went on for weeks. I became scared of going to school, afraid that they would be there. I didn't even want to walk the stairs because they were on them, but because one of my classmates was with me, they did nothing.

Weeks later, all of the first years went to a museum with school. At that time, I thought it was over. But no, then some stupid kid called me something when there were no teachers around.

We all were given al task, soms sort of competition between the four classes, and we had to find specific museum items, so we were in pairs, wandering through the museum.

The kid was with a boy I knew from elementary school, but he didn't stand up for me. That hurt. It felt like he had betrayed me, even though we hadn't spoken in years. We had been pretty good friends, back then.

When the bullying continued, I kept thinking about telling my mentor, but convinced myself everytime that it had stopped, because they hadn't said anything to me in like a week. But then they did it again and I felt miserable.
It eventually stopped. No one knew about it. Not one single person.

You know, it wasn't that bad and they probably didn't even know what it meant to me, but that's what bullying is.

The bullies don't know what it means to the victim, don't know how much their words hurt, until the victim decides to make it end, by ending their lives.

Do you want that?

Do you want to have blood on your hands? Do you want to live with the knowledge that someone else doesn't because of you? Do you want to live with the knowledge you killed someone???

You don't have to hold the knife their wrist was cut with. You don't have to give them the pills that stopped their heart. You don't have to push them of the building they jumped off.

You're. Still. Guilty.

Now ask yourself a question.

Is it that hard to be friendly, or just don't talk to someone in a hurting way?

Is it really. That. Hard?