Okay, I might have made a Red Vs Blue AU and I know most of you won't get it, but I'm still going to make this as entertaining as possible so bare with me.

@Wolf-Wisdom Also made one, quite different from mine as it's more on the freelancers but its super cool and if you're interested, check it out!

Little background information: Red Vs Blue is about two teams fighting in the middle of nowhere. They are known as the Red Team and the Blue Team, and seem to have a weird hatred for each other. They do have to team up quite a bit as the series progresses before slowly just merging into one team, though the verbal "You guys suck!" stays no matter what. There are some people called Freelancers who are basically secret agents that join them along the way.

Anyways, here are the peoples!

Ironically, I'm going to start with the Blues even though the word Red comes first but screw it.

BLUES: 

Church- Professor Pikalus

It's really abnormal for me to put someone that isn't Cody as the (Somewhat) main character but Professor only seemed to fit him, and it worked surprisingly better than Cody so here's my reasoning.

Church and Professor both have no problem flat out telling someone an insult and Professor, like Church, can be pretty cynical. Plus, Professor seems to be the most sarcastic out of the group, fitting Church more. However, They're both that "I secretly care about you but please stop talking" attitude and both a leader of a sort. Plus, Church's relations with the Director who does some seriously messed up experiments fits a more corrupt version of Professor than anybody else.

Here as some quotes that I put to rest my point:
"My name is Niall Pikalus, AND YOU WILL FEAR MY LASER FACE!"
"I have half a mind to kill you... And my other half agrees!"
"I can't believe I actually died for this war."

And that's what I got

NEXT

Tucker- Cody

Pretty much no one else fit Tucker as much as Cody did.

Tucker is known for being very flirty, and in pretty much most of the role plays, Cody has some sort of love interest (Though it doesn't always work out *Cough* Hospital *Cough*). Plus, they both are known for funny lines and being sarcastic sometimes, as well as buttloads of character development and being the fighter of the group. And they both have really cool weapons, Cody having his Atlantean Spear and Tucker has the energy sword.

Annnnnd Quotes:
"What's so hard to understand about "Swish swish stab"? It's a sword, not a fighter jet!"
"I'm a lover, not a thinker!"

And now,

Caboose- Tanith

Like Tucker, no one else really fit Caboose other than Tanith, and while they have quite a few differences, it's actually pretty good of a fit.

Caboose is the sweet cinnamon roll and I've defiantly heard Ice call Tanith that before so I think it fits. They both have a little trouble picking up on some things and often will make a weird comment that nobody else gets. They both seem to make friends with dangerous things, Tanith being KrakenKid (Yes, he is technically dangerous) and Caboose being both Shelia and Freckles. Plus, they'll both probably follow you to the ends of the Earth if they really like you.

Quotes:
"What's the 'A' stand for?"
"I'm allergic to things I don't want to do."
"I want to be alive, or a cowboy!"
"Time isn't made out of lines, it's made out of circles! That's why clocks are round."

COMING UP NEXT

Washington- KrakenKid

Literally as soon as I tested matching them up, I was like YES PERFECT because they really work together

Washington is highly seen as the StressedDadTM and KrakenKid is the exact same way. They'll both try to reason some things before freaking out when they can't and probably both a little paranoid. They've got a sad backstory and really want to move on from it, but will settle for a little revenge on the people who screwed it up for them. They've both done bad things, but have a good heart.

Quotes: 
"I AM NOT A COP!"
"It BOUNCES? Who designs a gun that bounces? This has got to be the worst gun ever! Of all time!"
"Being wrong isn't a democracy!"
"I am not crazy, okay? I'm completely sane. Now if you excuse me, I need to blow up this dead body."

FINALLY

Tex/Carolina- Sam

I know that Tex and Carolina are related and all but Sam fits both so I'm just gonna do both!

All of them are that tough gal with some serious fire. They're amazing fighters and probably a freaking ninja. Also, pretty competitive and wants to win. They're all known for the speed, being able to smack down an opponent before they can even try to swing back, (I literally wrote "2qick4you in my notes) and basically just a boss. Only problem is that Tex and Church are known to be a thing but NOT IN THIS AU NOPE

Quotes:
"I don't even remember most of your names half the time."
"No, a count up timer. It goes from one to explode. Of course a count down timer you idiot!"
"It's because I had a team once. A team with the best training. The best equipment and despite everything they had that makes them the best, they lied and stole and tore each other to pieces. So you tell me, how the hell am I supposed to trust a rag tag team of idiots when I couldn't even trust the people who were closest to me?"

and that's it!

Also I included Larry as a minor character being Sheila due to their relationship with Caboose/Tanith but I didn't write much about that.

Now, 

REDS:

Sarge- CannibalCrab

Not a perfect fit but not bad if I do say so myself!

Sarge and Cannibal are both pretty aggressive but cares a whole hecka lot more than they will ever tell you. They both love winning, and have a dislike for the team they are pitting against. Plus, their relationship with the character Blooper plays is kinda similar so.... Yeah! Sarge!

Quotes:
"Today is a good day for you to die!"
"If we survive this, I'm going to kill both of you. Slowly."
"Hey Blues, how do you like them apples? And by apples, I mean bullets! To your face!"

And now,

Simmons- Selena

Nobody else could fit Simmons as well as Selena... Except maybe Professor but still not as good.

Simmons is that nerdy guy who does follow the leader, though is questionable about his many efforts and ideas, and that screams Selena to me. They've both work hard to get what they want, and are very weirded out and frustrated when their partner doesn't do the same. They're both pretty book smart too.

Quotes:
"Did you just spit inside your helmet? Permission to speak freely sir? That was pretty freaking gross."
"Yelling should only be reserved for the most critical situations like when someone drinks milk OUT OF THE MILK CARTON!"
"I'm scared to hold on but I'm scared to let go!"
"CannibalCrab's death is in the past, and we need to look to the future. A future with Selena in it!"

Next up,

Grif- Blooper

No one else could fit Grif as perfectly. No one.

Grif is pretty lazy but somehow a freaking genius and that's how I see Blooper. Grif takes several breaks and I can totally see Blooper doing the same. Plus, his relationship with the other reds is basically on point, having a weird friendship/everyone ship ships them with Selena/Simmons and getting into verbal fights with and constantly defying the leadership of Sarge/CannibalCrab.

Quotes:
"Oh up yours. Up your, Sir!"
"I was born to take it easy."
"PROTECT ME CONE!"
"We don't get paid enough for this stuff."
"Why would I be afraid of bats? And why would you ask that question? Were there bats or something? That's a weird thing to ask for no reason!"

Moving on,

Donut- Joe

I couldn't figure out who should be Donut for the longest time but as soon as I was like, "Okay Joe needs a spot so how about here?" I fit it and it's actually surprisingly good.

Donut and Joe are both very enthusiastic and really good people with hearts of freaking gold, though they aren't always the brightest bulb in the bunch. Donut doesn't mind being feminine and I can see Joe as being the exact same way. Plus, they both die but not really and that pretty much seals the deal. I mean a lot of characters die but not really, but this was actually "Everyone though they were dead for a long time" sorta thing and not just like an episode or two.

Quotes:
"All the girls wanna talk about is girls stuff. And not the fun girl stuff like rainbows and unicorns."
"It's not pink! It's lightish red!"
"Elbow grease? How stupid do they think I am? Once I get back with the headlight fluid, I'm going to talk with the Sargent."

And finally,

Lopez- Darrel

Some of these characters might be sassy, but only Darrel could fit the ultimate sass of Lopez, the Mexican robot.

Lopez and Darrel, as I see it, are both sass overlords who are really smart but does anyone ever listen to them? No. So they sass everyone to make up for it. Lopez is 50% bitter, 25% robot, 5% cares, 20% fixes everything the reds break and 100% PURE SASS and Darrel fits it.

Quotes:
"Can I fix their radio from here? Sure. Because I am magic. I am a magic robot."
"If there's anything I've learned while being with you idiots, it's always build two vehicles."

Also, side character who isn't really a red or blue

O'Mally/Omega- Ace

Possess people, probably some anger issues and somewhat of a villain of the story pretty much fits them. Though Sigma fits Ace better, I needed an Omega and everyone else was already taken.

Quotes:
"Now it's quiet... Too quiet... Now it's suddenly too loud! I liked it better when it was quiet."
"I agree, but replace the word 'Non' with 'Extremely'!"

Finally, now that I have all the characters, here are events that would probably happen with these character placements!

KrakenKid: Cody, what's the one thing I tell you every morning?

Cody: Wake up

KrakenKid: The other thing!

Cody: For the love of Posedion, stop sleeping naked

KrakenKid: Don't let anyone touch the tank! *Stares directly at Tanith*

Cody: Okay... I see where you're going with this

KrakenKid: *Sighs* We have a problem

Tanith: I hope it isn't a math problem

Tanith: Larry? Larry, are you okay?

KrakenKid: What is she doing?

Professor Pikalus: Oh yeah, we transferred our training ship program from our tank to the ship. They were pretty close.

*Later when ship comes back online*

KrakenKid: Program, instruction. Override exception and-

Tanith: Do not talk to him like that! He is not a program!

KrakenKid: Whoa, what? Calm down!

Professor Pikalus: Hey, I'm just gonna stand behind Tanith, for a couple minutes. You know, for safety reasons.

KrakenKid: Okay. I only want to replay the logs from the crash. So can you please get it- *Notices Professor backing away further and Tanith staring him down more intensely* I mean him, to do that?

Tanith: Larry, uh, would you go ahead and do that thing that he just said to me?

KrakenKid: Remind me, who is this Joe guy again?

Selena: Cheery guy, pink armor?

Blooper: Kinda stupid *Selena hits him*

Cody: A little-

KrakenKid: Wait... Did I shoot him once?

Blooper: Bingo

KrakenKid: Got it... And he's competent enough to trust with our lives?

Joe: Sorry, did you say five or nine?

CannibalCrab: I said eight

Joe: Oh

*Awkward silence*

CannibalCrab: Alright kids, it's time you learned proper gun technique! Number one, always keep your gun up and aimed at Blooper! Keep your finger on that trigger!

Sam: Okay, don't do that

CannibalCrab: Get him!

Selena: Charge!

Blooper: We're gonna freaking die!

Professor Pikalus: Hey, it got pretty quiet out there... You don't think their working with the enemy, do you?

Blooper: *Runs by with a car being thrown at him* Ohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrapohcrap!

KrakenKid: ...No

KrakenKid: Alright, shoot them

Professor Pikalus: You mean shoot them with this?

KrakenKid: What else?

Cody: He really isn't good with that thing!

KrakenKid: Oh give me a break. You're a soldier

Professor Pikalus: Debatable

Blooper: You gotta breathe man! You gotta pull through! Come on, Cannibal!

CannibalCrab: *As a ghost* That's not the way you were trained to do that, Private!

Professor Pikalus: *Also ghost* They can't hear you

Selena: Blooper, this isn't working. We need to try something else

Professor Pikalus: If they give you mouth to mouth, I'm leaving

Selena: ...Maybe you should try giving him mouth to mouth

Professor Pikalus: I'm leaving.

Cody: Hey Pikalus, we have a problem

Professor Pikalus: I am not your mother, so don't come tattling to me every time one of you does something the other doesn't like

Cody: I'm telling you, she's crazy! She keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice!

Tanith: No I didn't

Cody: Oh, so you're saying you didn't threaten to cut off my head and give it to Professor as a birthday present?

Tanith: You know, I think you're taking my words a little out of context

Cody: What? What context?

*Professor goes to talk to medic*

Tanith/Ace: *In "Scare Voice"* Don't ever be alone

Cody: She's doing that thing again!

******************************************************

And that's what I got!

I hope you found this entertaining! Be sure to comment what you thought and such, and I bid thee farewell!

--JustAnAtlantisWriter