TesserPhantom
I finally did it lol.

              Tess's Wild Adventure

One day Tess was walking in the woods, not paying attention to absolutely anything, when she heard a terrifically loud roar.

"GET OUTTA MY SWAMP!!!!!!" A big green fellow yelled at her.

"No, I don't think I will." She responded in glorious Gen Z fashion.

"You drive a hard bargain. But get out, don't make me call in The Big Gunz." The green fellow warned.

"And who would that be?"

"Us!" A young voice said from behind Tess.

She quickly turned to see a terrible sight, Dora The Explorer, along with Peppa Pig, both holding very large cannons.

"Wow, where did you get those?"

"Exploring? Now, can you say 'Go away or I'll blow your brains out'? Because I sure can! Go away or I'll blow your brains out!" Dora exclaims.

But Tess has plans of her own.

"Oh yeah? How about I doooo... THIS!" She screams and runs behind Dora and Peppa, who was cracking her knuckles, prepared to fight.

Tess pulls off Dora's backpack, then throws the machete from inside at Peppa.

It narrowly misses, but does end up slicing a bit of her ugly dress.

"How dare you?! My mummy made this!" The pig squeals.

"Nya nya!" Tess mocks and runs away, still holding the backpack.

"What're you doing standing here?! Go make sure she leaves my swamp!!!!!" The green fellow bellows.

Tess runs faster and finds a cave.

She quickly hides inside, but muffled whispering from behind makes her whip around.

Behind her is an entire nerd squad.

All the nerds.

From all the fandoms.

All gathered.

She spots a few she recognized, but also some she does not.

All at once the nerds started screaming, and ran away.

"Wait! Come back!" Tess yelled for them, but of course listening is not their strongest nerd power.

"They probably ran because of me. I like to chase them. Cause they're FRIKIN NERDS!!!!!" Dora yells after the retreating crowd.

"How did you find me?!"

"I followed you. Duh. My incompetent wannabe helper is still upset about her dress, so I'm supposed to avenge her or whatever." Dora explains.

"Avenge a dress?"

"Yep!" Then, Dora throws a rotten egg at Tess!

"Eyyeeeww!" Tess hollers.

"Nya nya!" Dora mocks Tess's mock.

"Shut up, you watermelon headed weirdo!"

"HaHoi! Anybody want a happy meal?!!!?!!??!" A random voice suddenly says from outside.

"I doo!!!!!" Dora exclaims.

She is a child, after all.

Not just a psycho killer.

She runs out of the cave to find Ronald McDonald, peddling Happy Meals for any random old thing.

Dora hands him a mace, which he looks frightfully happy to receive.

"Thanks kid. Enjoy!" He says and walks off.

"I'll show that Wendy. By the time I'm done HER ice cream machine will be forever broken!" He says rather loudly and then laughs like a maniac.

"I have to get outta here!!" Tess says in fear.

"Not so fast!" She hears, but when she looks down, she sees it's only a small gnome.

"Cower in fear, human! For it is I, Dave!" The gnome yells, as Tess notices the sword he's showing off.

He swears he threatens, but he's just showing it off.

"Um yeah Dave. Can you get me out of here?" Tess asks him.

His Walmart Greeter instincts kick in, as he was born to be one, but decided to be a Knight.

Who likes to show off his swords.

"Oh of course!! Just head down that little path there, take a left at the big gnarly tree, then you'll be out of the forest. Have a good day!!"

"Thanks dude." Tess says and quickly runs down that little path.

She soon reaches the gnarly tree and takes a left.

But then, she reaches the gnarly tree again.

"Dahur?!"

She goes left, and comes across the gnarly tree once more.

"Howww?!" She wonders aloud.

"Magic."

"Who said that?!" Tess asks.

"Me of course." A strange voice says from inside the tree.

"Oh great now a talking tree! Could this day get any weirder?!" Tess says in exasperation and flops onto the ground.

"You silly goose! The tree don't talk, it's a tree! I'm the one that talks!!" The voice says.

"Well who are you?"

"The Tree Troll."

"Huh?"

"The Tree Troll."

"Ok then, could you come out?"

"Sure!"

A little flap opens in the tree and almost like liquid a little troll man flows out.

"Pie?" He offers and shoves a cherry pie at her.

"Um, no thanks."  She denies, as it's covered in leaves, twigs, and bugs.

"Suit yourself!" The Tree Troll says and downs the entire pie in one bite.

"So how do I get out of here?" Tess asks.

"The tree."

"The tree?"

"The tree."

"But how?!"

"You get in. I fly you home. Duh. Your coconut isn't all that full is it?" The Tree Troll says and knocks on Tess's head.

"Stop it! Does the tree really fly?"

"Sure does. Get in. I'll show you."

Normally Tess wouldn't agree. Today though, she was eager to get home.

So, she climbed (Though much less liquid-like than The Tree Troll) into the flap.

"Yaaawhooo!!!" The Tree Troll yells as he jumps into the gnarly tree and quickly starts peddling the bicycle strapped inside.

Connected to so many gadgets and gizmos, it was impossible to know how, but the tree did leave the ground.

"Hehehe. First time in over 3 years." The Tree Troll giggled.

"So. Where do you live?" He asked.

"Why should I tell you?" Tess asked carefully.

"So I can take you home of course!" The Tree Troll said with lots of enthusiasm.

"Ok. Over there." Tess points out the window at the small cottage in the woods where she lives.

"Nice place. Be a shame if something happened to it." The Tree Troll muttered.

"What?!" Tess yelled.

"You have lots of berry bushes. Bears like berries. They might attack." The Tree Troll explains.

"Oh. No, the bears and I have a treaty."

"Wow! How?"

"I can't say."

"Why?"

"The bears won't let me."

"Why?"

"Because it's a secret."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

Tess can't stand it anymore and jumps out of the tree.

Lucky for her, she ended up falling onto the trampoline in front of her house.

For the deer, normally.

But now for the Tess.

"Next time I'll listen to the magical forest warnings." Tess mutters before going inside.

Her life was never the same.

The Tree Troll planted his tree in her yard and always stayed on the trampoline.

She couldn't get rid of him.

At all.

🌳🌴🎄🌲🍃🍂🍁🐷🕺👖👒👑🎩👓🙊
So was it funny? At all?