CHAPTER TWO ——  used to the darkness

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       "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ROPED ME INTO THIS." Liz mumbled, worrying her lip as she sat anxiously in the passenger seat of the Impala. It was dark and the only lights that were on were the headlights of the car and the street lights that illuminated the sidewalk.

Dean sighed next to her, his hands still tightly wrapped around the steering wheel. His knuckles turning white from the tension. "I can't believe you actually agreed if I'm being honest." He looked around the street from the comfort of the car and safely behind the glass, watching as a few drunk bystanders, possibly students, stumbled wobbly along the path.

Liz did a double take and stared intensely at the side of her driver's head. "What?" She replied, well more like shouted because that little tidbit of information he hadn't decided to disclose until now. "You mean you weren't even directly asking me to come along, you just wanted information?"

She really didn't want him to answer that.

"Well, yeah, kinda. I thought you'd blatantly refuse to come with me, probably prefer to not be even a hundred feet of me." He said it nonchalantly as if it didn't matter that she'd just up and left with him in the middle of the night, completely forgetting all about the case she was originally following.

"So you're telling me I didn't have to come!" Not a question. Definitely not a question. Because now she was beyond annoyed. "I could have been in a warm bed enjoying my piece and quiet but instead I'm here, with you! Is that what you're telling me?" Liz hoped Dean could feel two burning holes in the side of his face, because she wanted him to feel pain right that second.

But he didn't flinch. He could feel the anger seething from her every pore and knew he was in for a world of pain and hell. Except he did actually need her help. He was actually really glad she was here sitting beside him.

"Look I'm sorry I wasn't specific, but you know I need you for this. He's not exactly going to listen to me is he? He trusts you." Dean sighed again, this one lasted longer, like he was trying to control his breathing.

And Liz noticed it. Calming herself slightly so that she didn't murder the Winchester, even though she desperately wanted to.

"You're nervous aren't you?" Her eyes returned to the street in front of them. To the block of apartments that resided their, and to the window she knew belonged to a certain shaggy haired college student.

They both sat there, watching the window, wondering if they could see any movement, even a shadow. But there was nothing. The two people who lived inside the apartment had long gone to bed.

"I haven't seen him in four years, let alone speak to him. He won't care what I have to say." Dean mumbled, nervous about what was going to happen when he saw his younger brother face to face for the first time in so long. "And I wish I didn't have to be here...but I need him. I need both of you." He couldn't bare looking at her, couldn't bare letting her look into his eyes, because he was afraid of what he would see in hers.

He didn't need pity. He needed help. He needed his family back together.

Liz turned away from him once again and focused on the glove box. Opening it to see an old picture. One she hadn't seen in two years; it pained her heart to see it again after so long. It was a picture Bobby had taken of the three of kids, it was her first week at Bobby's and he'd shown her all sorts of cool things. He didn't care that the child hadn't said a single word to him during the time she was there. He didn't care about where she'd came from or what her story was, because he decided it wasn't necessary she told it. He understood why she woke up every night out of breath and sweating.

In the picture she could see the kid she was, the pain she'd gone through. And yet, it was the first time she'd smiled since the day her parents died. That's why the old grump had made the decision to capture the moment in a photo, to remind her that even when things are dark, and you get used to the darkness, there are moments of light that need to be remembered.

And that's what Dean needed, a moment of light. He needed a lifetime of it really, but for now a small dose wouldn't kill him.

"You're his brother, of course he'll care." She said, lightly patting one of his hands that held the death grip on the wheel. Making his eyes fall down to them. "You may be an annoying jerk, but you're our annoying jerk. So we have to put up with you." Liz smiled genuinely at him for the first time that night, for the first time in two years. And he swore that he wanted her to smile like that for the rest of their lives. He always wanted his friend to smile, no matter what, even back when they were children.

Dean let out a big breath, finally finding the courage to face the music. Ready to face his brother. He tapped the wheel rhythmically and rubbed his hands down his face.

"Okay! I can do this." He said, unbuckling his seatbelt, which Liz had insisted he put on like the safety nag she was, and finally stepping out of the door. But before he closed it again he faced her. "You stay here for a bit. If he doesn't immediately kick me out, come get me, I'm definitely gonna need your help to convince him." He muttered, looking directly into her eyes, hoping for that last shred of courage to come.

And it finally did, all with just two opposable thumbs that his best friend put up in encouragement. How she always knew exactly what to do to push him through he'd never know, but he was thankful none the less. And he went off towards the building, choosing the window the window as the best point of access.

"Go get him, tiger." She mumbled to herself, smiling as she watched him find a way to the window with ease, hoping he didn't fall and she'd have to scrape him off the floor and drive him to the nearest hospital.

She missed her family too. She missed her boys, both of them, together. She missed being a kid with them too.

But she was glad she had a second chance to repair the cracks that had crumbled away their friendship. For her family was what always kept her going. Even if she still had some cracks when it came to Dean Winchester. She was just hoping that her walls didn't come tumbling down any time soon.

There's only so many repairs the wall could take. And she wasn't prepared to let it all crumble just yet.

       WHEN IT HAD GONE TEN MINUTES WITH NO VISIBLE SIGN OF DEAN OR SAM, she decided it was time to send in the cavalry. Unfortunately for her it meant she had to face an annoying amount of stairs.

So there she was, thundering up what felt like an infinite abundance of steps, feeling like she was in a nightmare trying to run from Freddy Krueger, cursing Sam for living in an apartment building that had no working elevator.

Eventually she made it, albeit, gasping for air and hands clutching her knees.

She made sure to give herself a moment so she wasn't a red faced, puffing for air, mess in front of whoever was unlucky enough to answer the door. Fortunately it didn't take long and she soon found the confidence to knock on the door and not look like a total unhealthy wreck. And on instinct she plastered a smile on her face as the door began to open.

Only the smile soon turned into a real one.

As the person who stood in front of her wasn't Sam, wasn't even Dean, and no it wasn't Sully the imaginary friend the former had as a child either. It was Jess. Her fellow blonde partner in crime as she liked to think. Only she was infinitely more beautiful in the effortless way she walked and spoke, just standing there in her pyjamas and dressing gown, which she noticed had been quickly tied, she looked like the definition of bombshell.

"You got my gift!" Liz gasped, glad to see the taller woman in the overly fluffy robe she'd bought her for her last birthday present a few months before, she was worried it wouldn't arrive after she'd mailed it. "Do you like it? Or are you just psychic, sensing I was stumbling up so put it on to spare my feelings?" She laughed but it was really just to ease her mind as she worried her lip a bit more.

Luckily Jess laughed too, welcoming the slightly older woman in her arms, embracing her tightly. Liz had come to think of Jess as a friend, and apparently the feeling was reciprocated. "It's great to see you. Even if it is before dawn." Jess sent a side eye to her boyfriend as if asking for reasoning as to why people chose that moment to knock the door, or in Dean's case slip in through the window, of their apartment. Her gaze soon returning to the shorter woman. "And I do love it! Always wear it around the house, I told Sam to thank you for me." Another side look, one of annoyance and disappointment as she realised Sam hadn't listened to her.

Ultimately, Liz was let inside and led to stop a few steps in and face the man she'd watched do acrobatics at the side of the building approximately fifteen minutes prior. He stood awkwardly, avoiding Sam's gaze as he focused on his friend.

He'd tried to hit on Jess. It was obvious. He reeked of his guilty, sultry actions.

So she decided to make a joke to break the ice. She was good at being mediator, done a lot of practice with the Winchesters for almost half of her life. "So how'd it go, Spiderman? You manage to catch us a Sam in your web?" Liz couldn't help it, she smiled, revelling in her superiority in this situation. He was out of his element, while this place was like a regular pit stop to her. But she still felt sympathy...just a small dose of it.

The air was thick with tension, so much so that even a chainsaw probably wouldn't cut through it. But Sam finally graced her with his low, yet still boyish, voice.

"We were just going to talk actually. Outside." Straight to the point. Resignation in his tone. Because even he knew that it was at least worth him speaking privately with his brother, although she doubted it would change his mind on the task ahead of them.

Being stuck with the car with one on edge Winchester for a couple of hours was bad enough, a day or more with two aggravated, estranged Winchesters was even worse. It could kill her, if she didn't kill them first. So she decided to stay away for the brief moment they'd have alone talking outside. They deserved an uninterrupted moment alone to hear each other out clearly.

The twenty-four year old clapped her hands together loudly, directing the attention back to her. "Great! You two do that while I have a girls catch up with Jess!" She was practically pushing them out of the door as she motioned with her hands for them to shoo. Before she shut the door, after deciding their feet were at a safe distance of course, she spoke again with a wink to accompany her words. "You go have your likely testosterone fuelled talk outside while we gossip in here about all of the hot college students."

And just like that the door was shut.

The brothers just left to look at one another. Before they finally started walking downstairs to where the Impala was parked. Talking all the way down.

Meanwhile, Liz was slumped against the door, finally breathing for what felt like an eternity. Jess noticing with her arms crossed and a cute crease in the centre of her forehead between her eyebrows.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to shove them two in a room or situation together where they'd actually have to talk. Too damn long." Liz told her, looking at the ceiling briefly, watching a tiny spider creep along to the web that awaited it. Soon deciding not to dwell on the pesky spider currently residing in the apartment rent free and focus on the woman in front of her. "Now! Let's have that chat, I wasn't kidding about that. Brady still single? He wasn't that bad looking the last time I saw him, and I was really, really drunk." Except even she knew she'd thought that guy was a lot more than that after two weeks around him.

This detour from her life was going to be long, so she made sure to stop and appreciate the moments in front of her. Like talking to one of her oldest friend's girlfriend. Because she didn't know the next time she'd have the time to come to Stanford to visit. And also because Jess was like the sister she never had growing up; it was nice.

When she was around Jess she felt no pressure to put up her wall of fake smiles and sarcasm. With her she didn't have to be anything but herself. Well, as much of yourself you can be without revealing your real job.

But it felt like she actually had someone who understood. And that was good enough. Her friends were always more than enough for her.

       SOON ENOUGH SAM RETURNED UPSTAIRS, to say Liz was concerned would be an understatement. She had sore thumbs; bright red skin where she'd been picking mercilessly at them for the last ten or so minutes.

Dean wasn't with him so that made her anxiety worse.

They couldn't leave without him, even though she'd had her resignations since the moment she packed up her motel room, they needed him. And she hated having to take him away when she knew how important the next few days were going to be for him.

Sam went straight to the bedroom, completely ignoring the two girls that were leaning against the kitchen counter with cups of hot fruit tea. It was obvious that it wasn't just Liz who was concerned. As Jess put her now empty cup down and followed after him.

Deciding to be helpful and put her anxiety to use, she started washing up the mugs and a few other things that were already in the sink. Trying to ignore the battering her heart was doing against her chest, and failing gracefully at concealing her heavy breathing. As she'd just remembered what was about to happen. Because whether Sam came along or not, she'd be stuck in a car with Dean Winchester for a few days. Too damn long. Especially considering that for two years she'd sworn to herself that she'd punch his overly good looking face if he ever came knocking on her door again. She'd really gotten herself in deep and didn't know how to walk or even swim out of it.

She was trapped. Stuck to a promise that swung over her head now like an anvil on a string. Waiting for her to take even one step off of the pressure plate underneath her feet. The threat of mental imminent death danced across her mind, but if the option was given to her, she'd probably take actual death over being stuck alone in a car with Dean Winchester again in her entire lifetime.

Standing there, water splashed on the long sleeves of her top, her eyes focused on the now empty metal sink basin. Until her gaze was ripped away by the sound of talking.

"Okay, time to go." Sam said, now looking solely at Liz with a duffel bag now held in his hand. Jess stood beside him, the crease on her forehead back, standing there almost disappointed.

The eldest present in the room felt apologetic of the college student. Felt sorry for wrecking their normal Californian life. The life Sam had spent four years tirelessly making for himself. Truth be told she was shocked he'd actually agreed to come along.

They were both staring at her now, waiting for her to say something. But she was lost, nothing came to mind that could mediate or possibly alleviate the situation. There was nothing. Her mind completely blank as if it finally decided that today was the day it would break down for good, shut up shop.

Which is probably why she let out a small breath of relief when Sam spoke again instead. "We better get going." He said, walking off towards the door as Jess followed him to say one last goodbye. And a few other whispers of worry transpired, but Liz decided it wasn't her business to snoop.

Soon it was her walking towards the door, being hugged tightly by one Jessica Moore with mutters of "see you soon" reaching her ears. So she just succumbed to the embrace and let the tenseness of her shoulder slowly ease away. But just as she was about to let go, she was gently pulled back, Sam watching from the first step of her newly declared arch nemesis.

"Look after him for me," she whispered, only for Liz's ears. A promise slipped into her mind, one that couldn't be erased if she tried, like a spell was cast ensuring she would always remember these words. "He may not exactly express it, but he needs someone to watch out for him. A guardian Angel."

She'd never been called a guardian Angel before, didn't know the first thing on how to act like one. And there was the fact that if she did ever have wings, they were most surely broken. Clipped by whatever higher being stood above her like she was the dirt from under his boot, laughing and sneering at her suffering and her failures.

But she swore this was not going to be one of those failings. After all, it would only be for a couple of days at most, he'd soon be back in the comforting arms of his girlfriend forgetting all about the nightmares of the little boy he once was. If anything, Jess was his guardian Angel. And for that she was eternally grateful.

Jess stood by the door, waving as the two started to walk down the stairs to the car that awaited them outside. The familiar click of a lock was heard as they got to the second level of stairs.

Now was Liz's chance to speak, finding it awkward because of how slow they were walking.

"You sure about this?" She queried, hoping to get to the bottom of whether Dean had threatened him or blackmailed him into coming, or if he'd decided to come along on his own free accord. She looked at him as he walked beside her, while also trying to make sure she didn't do a dramatic, and embarrassing, fall on the stairs. Making sure her arch nemesis hadn't become sentient and determined that it's new life goal was to destroy her confidence.

Sam was quiet for a moment too long.

She knew he was thinking it over, warring between his mind and his heart. Part of him wanted to stay with Jess and never leave again, but the other part knew he needed to do something about the predicament that arose.

"Yeah," he answered finally, "it won't be long anyway, I'm still coming back for Monday." He finished, looking directly at his oldest visible friend, bumping her shoulder with the side of his body. He was unnaturally tall compared to her and it was actually quite comical.

But nothing was going to stop him from coming back, to his life, to the girlfriend waiting for him. No matter what he'd finish what he'd started.

Liz smiled at him, the boy she'd grown up with and watch grow up to become the college student she saw before her. "Okay, Mr. Future Lawyer, just make sure you represent me if I ever need you in the future." She humoured, hoping desperately that she was never in a situation that needed him to keep to that promise.

The corner of Sam's lips turned upwards in humour at her tone, he too hoping a situation like that never arose. "You got a deal."

They soon made it to the bottom, stepping through the gate to find Dean leaned against his most prized possession. Arms crossed with that fake authoritarian look he always put on when he wanted to look unapproachable, to make sure no one dared to argue with him.

Liz went over towards him and patted her hand against his cheek, watching as his face turned from faux seriousness to childish annoyance. Like she'd just stole the last cookie. So he flapped his hands around to push her off only making her and Sam laugh.

Eventually she stopped, leaving him alone and watching as his brow struggled to get uncreased.

"Right, let's get on the road." Dean started, keeping his gaze focused on Liz and her hands, ready to fight back if it became necessary. Finally he determined it safe and turned towards Sam. "We best get ahead if a certain somebody needs to be back for Monday."

So Sam had told him about the interview, that much was obvious. Just as much as it was obvious that Dean wasn't happy about it.

All three of them stood there, none of them moving. Sam with his duffel strapped over his shoulder, Liz balancing on the balls of her feet while inspecting her nails, and Dean with his gaze firmly on his boots and the very interesting tarmac underneath them. It was awkward to be blunt. The three of them hadn't been anyway near to being together in the same air space since the day Sam left for college four years ago. The childhood they had spent together had faded away like breath on a mirror, leaving nothing but smears of the good memories.

But you can't live in the past for the rest of your life even if it was all you had of the people you used to be. The mirror needed cleaning, a new clear slate before them.

So Liz was happy to start this new beginning with her version of humour. To announce to the world why they had been brought together so suddenly once again. To declare to the stars and the moon that glowed above them, that they were back even for the tiniest of moments that a weekend offered.

"Well!" She clapped her hands together, making the brothers turn to her in slight shock, neither expecting her to be the one to break the ice. Smiling a toothy grin at her boys she shouted to the sleeping world, like an annoying news broadcaster only louder. "Time to solve the case of the absent Father!"

She felt like Sherlock Holmes, Sam her Doctor Watson and Dean her Inspector Lestrade. A formidable team.

For the bestest of friends are always the ones that have suffered the most together. And the Russell-Winchester team had suffered through a lot of tough scrapes. But nothing they couldn't handle. Nothing that was powerful enough to knock them down for good in a grave of dirt and worms.

Not yet anyway.

———  APOLLO SPEAKS  ———
This is slightly better than what the chapter used to be, these chapters are long and tedious because I want to give an outline on what Liz's relationship is like between both Sam and Dean so that I can build up on it throughout and eventually everything will be explained later as the story continues.