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𝕴𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖎𝖈𝖍 𝕵𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖌𝖚𝖐 𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖚𝖉𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖉𝖎𝖆𝖌𝖓𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖉 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖑𝖚𝖓𝖌 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖗. 𝕳𝖊 𝖐𝖓𝖔𝖜𝖘 𝖙𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖔𝖊𝖘𝖓'𝖙 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖎𝖙, 𝖍𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖛𝖊 𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖇𝖔𝖞𝖋𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖉 𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖐𝖊𝖓 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖗𝖊𝖉 𝖋𝖔𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗. 𝕬𝖓𝖉 𝖘𝖔 𝕵𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖌𝖚𝖐 𝖆𝖘𝖐𝖘 𝖍𝖎𝖒 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖆 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖒𝖎𝖘𝖊.

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- 𝕋𝕠𝕡 𝔾𝕘𝕦𝕜

- 𝔹𝕠𝕥𝕥𝕠𝕞 𝕋𝕒𝕖

- 𝔸𝕟𝕘𝕤𝕥𝕪 𝕒𝕤 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝

A.N. If there are any cancer survivors reading this, I seriously have no words for the respect and admiration I have towards you. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ I know one too (used to, anyways) Fighting forever! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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Taehyung's eyes blurred for god knew what time that day. His head lowered as his eyelids fluttered shut. He allowed the emotions swirling inside him like a whirlpool, threatening to overcome him any second to escape him. Tears rolled down his face again and he choked as he tried to hide his sobs.

"Hey," a soft voice called out from somewhere close to him.

He looked up, the sleeve of his hoodie rising to wipe his face again. 

"Sh," Jeongguk hushed gently.
"Don't cry, angel, please. You know I don't like it when you're upset," he had a sad smile on his face even though his eyes were brimming with tears too.

"A-and I don't like what's happening to you!" 

Taehyung burst out finally, his fists clenching onto the hospital bed's sheets tightly. "Why you, Jeongguk - I - you d-don't deserve t-this," he cried. "Y-you've always been so - so good. Why is this happening to - why is this happening to you?" he sobbed as he desperately clutched onto Jeongguk's arm.

The younger reached forward, wiping his face and smiling. He looked like nothing was wrong. Like they were just the average couple - spending an evening together. Like they hadn't just got news that was going to change their lives forever. 

Hell, it could end one of their lives.

However, his eyes couldn't lie. They held a fractured gaze - hints of fear, sadness and love swimming in them.

"It's gonna be okay, tiger. I'm going to be fine. We still haven't finished our bucket list, remember? And I can't leave you. How would you survive without me?" he laughed, stroking Taehyung's knuckles gently before lifting his hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

"Don't worry," he whispered.

Taehyung lurched forward and hugged him. "You're gonna be fine, right?" he asked, voice muffled and filled with barely concealed sadness and hope.

Jeongguk swallowed, his eyeballs rolling back as he tried to convince himself that. "Yeah. Yeah, of course, I'm going to be fine. We're gonna be alright, angel," he brushed a finger over Taehyung's tear-streaked face. "Trust me." 

His voice broke but so little it was unnoticeable.

He shifted to the side of the big bed and gestured for the older boy to climb on. "I'll tell you what. We can watch Disney, yeah? Maybe Tangled. That's gonna cheer you up," he put on the biggest smile he could fake, holding out his arms. 

Taehyung hesitated before he slid in and eased into his arms, slowly but surely. He rested his head sideways on Jeongguk's shoulder and let a shaky, soft sigh leave him. He didn't want this. He didn't want to feel like everything was fine. Because it wasn't. However much Jeongguk was trying to convince him that it was going to be fine, and however much he wanted to believe him - just let go all of his worries and sink into his warmth again - he couldn't. 

He wanted to fall asleep, lying with the younger's arms around him - happy when they had spent a day together doing nothing, sad when something went wrong and hurt, confused when they had a small fight or when they had to deal with the usual homophobic comments. 

But Jeongguk had always been there.

There was a part of Taehyung that had just registered Jeongguk as a part of himself. He couldn't even think of not knowing or being away from him. There was a part of Taehyung that believed that Jeongguk was never going to leave.

Every time he gave in to his panic attacks, Jeongguk was there to hug him and coax him into a state of calmness again. Every time he woke up from his usual nightmares, Jeongguk was there to hold him and sing softly to him in his angelic voice until he fell asleep again. Every time he let the insecurities in his head win, Jeongguk was there to adamantly convince him of how perfect he was and ramble indignantly about how much he loved him. 

Because Jeongguk was always there.

He had promised to him - eleven years ago - that he would never leave him.

But now, he was being taken away.

And all Taehyung could do was to stare helplessly as he watched Jeongguk smile for him and be strong just for him while he slowly got erased from the world.

Why was he the one comforting him? 

Shouldn't Taehyung be the one to ease him? To tell him that he was going to be alright?

Wrapped up in these thoughts, feeling the overfamiliar warmth radiate from his boyfriend, Taehyung hadn't even realized he was asleep. The worry, the grief - it was all too exhausting.

On the other hand, Jeongguk was lost in his own world of thoughts too. 

He kept trying to convince himself he was going to make it. He couldn't leave Taehyung. His best friend - and then his boyfriend too - the poor boy had been through enough trauma, what with losing his parents and his brother when he was only six. His aunt had taken him in but he had faced mental and physical abuse for liking boys. He had grown up disgusted at himself - hating every atom of himself. He had been forced into thinking that homosexuality was a sin and that it was horrendous he should even think of it. 

Before Jeongguk came along. 

His aunt was arrested and Jeongguk had taken care of the boy as his only friend. He had shown Taehyung that there was nothing wrong in feelings. Love was love, indifferent to what people believed. He had shown Taehyung love - a stranger to Taehyung because he had never known it after his family's death.

God knew how torn he would be if Jeongguk left too.

But the voice at the back of his head nagged at him. He wasn't going to live. He was going to leave Taehyung heartbroken. He was going to die. He was going to kill Taehyung with the grief he was tossing over to him so cruelly.

A quiet sigh left him too.

He turned over and looked at Taehyung.
A tear was rolling down the boy's cheek again and he was breathing fast, murmuring incomprehensibly. He was having a nightmare. But it wasn't a scary one. It was a sad one.

Jeongguk threaded his fingers through his soft hair. "Good night, Tae," he murmured, leaning over to kiss the top of his head before he sank back and let sleep overcome him too.

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He woke up in his own bed. There were two blankets pulled over him but he awoke in cold sweat, shivering. The usual sense of comfort didn't wash over him. Because the sight of the messy brown hair and the feeling of strong, stubborn arms refusing to let go around him, almost suffocating him in an embrace was absent. He pushed himself into a sitting position and curled into a ball, starting to cry silently again.

Taehyung reached out, crawling over and grabbed the crumpled shirt lying on one corner of the bed. He pulled it onto himself, trembling as he did so. The familiar yet faint scent of Jeongguk's lemony shampoo and his cologne washed over him. 

Before he knew it, he was asleep again and having nightmares about all the different ways Jeongguk could die.

It was night when he woke up again. Instead of pain, he felt a hollow feeling inside him. 

As if he knew what was to come. 

The fact that he hadn't eaten in about twenty-four hours didn't bother him. He had gone hungry for longer periods of time when he used to stay with his aunt. Taehyung picked up his phone, going to the gallery. 

He scrolled through pictures of him and Jeongguk, smiling softly at each of them. 

Would this be all he had left of him? Memories?

Suddenly, his phone vibrated, the song Jeongguk had chosen as his ringtone blasting out and reverberating around the silent room. He jumped, startled as he saw an unknown number pop up onto the screen. Fumbling, he answered the call with shaky hands.

"H-Hello?"

There was silence on the other end before a woman's voice said, "Kim Taehyung?"

He cleared his hoarse throat, "Y-Yes, speaking."

The woman's voice held a hint of sadness as she said, "Please come down into the hospital. Mr. Jeon is in a critical condition. We're doing our best but he has requested for you."

And that was all it took for Taehyung to jump up and run down the stairs, slip on shoes in a hurried manner and run out of the house in nothing but jeans and Jeongguk's shirt. 

It didn't take too long to reach the hospital. He burst in, breathing heavily as his desperate gaze swept over the entire floor. "J-Jeongguk - where is he?" he asked a passing nurse desperately. She pointed to a room across the corridor and he didn't even look back before taking off again.

In the room, Jeongguk was lying still. His face was ghostly pale, his chest heaving. He was looking out of the window, a pained expression on his face. 

Taehyung's cousin had once told him that that was how Jeongguk used to look when he thought Taehyung couldn't see him.

Yet, he had never seen him like that. It tore at his heartstrings.

Doctors in white rushed about the room, trying to stabilize his heartbeat which was going way too fast to be normal.

"JEONGGUK -," Taehyung cried out, running forward. His fingers curled around the bedside and his knuckles turned white. "Gguk - I - oh my god," he fought back tears. He couldn't cry. He wouldn't cry. He had to be strong.

Jeongguk reached for him, his hand quivering. "H-Hey Tae," he breathed, smiling again.

"Jeongguk, p-please," he let out a heart-wrenching sob. "You'll be f-fine, you said so. You're gonna be alright. Please - please Gguk, be fine," he pleaded, tears rushing to his eyes.

"Angel - you... you need to promise me something. I - I don't have too long. Please, love. Promise me y-you're going to be fine. Promise me you'll forget me, okay?" he took in a shaky breath, making a wheezing sound as he coughed violently. "Forget me, Tae. F-Find someone else. And promise me you're gonna be strong, a-alright?"

"I can't. I can't forget you, Jeongguk," Taehyung cried, his nails digging into his palm.

"Promise it," he repeated, desperation obvious in his voice. 

Taehyung didn't know what to do. He couldn't possibly agree to it. But - 

"I promise," it came out choked and as if he was being strangled. Jeongguk's expression relaxed. He flashed Taehyung his infamous lopsided grin as he leaned back onto the pillow. 

"So do I get a last kiss or what?" he teased. 

Even when he was seconds away from death, he was the same old Jeongguk. Taehyung shook his head, crying harder. "I hate you, I hate you so much, Jeon Jeongguk," he cried. And then, without caring for the few other doctors in the room, he got on his tiptoes and kissed Jeongguk. He could taste his own salty tears but he kept them pressed together for a while before pulling away, still crying.

"I love you," Jeongguk whispered softly in a weak voice, winking at him. "I - I love you too," Taehyung cried, his fingers interlacing themselves with Jeongguk's. The younger boy smiled before his eyelids shut and he let out one last deep breath.

The deafening sound of the flat heartbeat filled the room but Taehyung's heart breaking sobs were louder.

You promised you wouldn't leave me.

~ 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖓𝖉 ~

A.N. I did warn you, someone was gonna die ;D

So how was it? Anyone cry? If so - (❤ t i s s u e ❤) 

I'll make up for the sadness with a fluffier oneshot next, loves. Don't be mad at me!

P.S. Next update might take longer than usual because I'm currently trying to write up enough chapters to update peacefully later on. And considering how idiotically long each is, it's really killing me. Add to that, I also have three other books going on at the same time and I'm running terribly behind on their chapters too - TwT just why TwT. 

P.P.S. Who said summer vacation is relaxing, it's loading up more stress than actual school and the list of homework is insane -

Thank you for coming to my ted talk ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ANYwho, here's something/s to cheer you up ❤❤

Love you all, take care of yourselves and stay happy UwU

~ Lesley ❤