!Warning! Mentions of suicide, rape and violence. Completely filled with angst. Wait, no there's 2% of fluff. If you are not comfortable with these themes do not read this chapter. Important authors' note at the end of the chapter , please read that. 

Long chapter with 6.7K+ words holy shi-

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"Gguk?" he frowned before blinking and tripping over. Jeongguk took a step forward this time and Taehyung's eyes closed, blank, before he fell, crumbling to his feet and completely unconscious.

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Jeongguk watched in alarm as Taehyung fainted in front of him. He bit his lip in distress as he didn't know what to do. After a while, he plucked up his courage and approached him. Lifting Taehyung up, he slung one of his arms over his shoulder.

Panting in effort, Jeongguk started on his way, breathing heavily as he dragged the older male along.

Somehow he managed to pull him along to their house, and Jeongguk collapsed on top of Taehyung immediately after he threw him on the couch.

Regaining his breath he suddenly remembered what had happened and he scrambled back, unknowingly letting out a scared whimper.

Taehyung's eyes were open, he must've woken up sometime on the journey he was dragged along mercilessly in. Jeongguk lowered himself onto the floor, his brown eyes enlarged. He looked at Taehyung with an emotion he'd never connected with the older male .

Fear.

And yet, as he looked at him, Jeongguk felt himself relax. The fear was slowly replaced with unease and agitation. Taehyung's eyes had a blank, empty look to them. He looked lost and devoid of any human emotion.

"T-tae h-yung," he stammered, unsure what to do.

The black-haired male didn't answer, only kept staring at a spot on the floor.

"Taehyung," Jeongguk called out, feeling a bit braver. He sighed and looked up in response, looking intensely into Jeongguk's eyes.
Without blinking even once, he kept staring, still an unreadable expression evident in his gaze.

Taehyung darted his tongue across his chapped lower lip as he reached for the remote and switched the TV on.

"Another four bodies have been found, the first woman identified as Kim Jiwon. The murder weapon has again vanished from the crime scene, but we think its a model of-," he switched it off, swallowing and looking back at Jeongguk.

"That - th-that was you hyung," Jeongguk whispered, eyes starting to gloss over with tears.

Taehyung's eyebrow twitched and he bit his lip, drawing blood. "W-why did you -," Jeongguk went on, tears falling out.

When he let out a sob, Taehyung clenched his jaw.

He slid down to the floor, not hesitating as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy's frame.

Jeongguk's body tensed and he stopped crying immediately. He pushed Taehyung away and stood up, stepping back. "J-Jeongguk," Taehyung said softly, the anguish in his eyes twisting Jeongguk's stomach into knots.

"You're a murderer," he replied, trying to keep a strong facade even though he felt like crumping down onto the floor and crying endlessly.

He might as well have stabbed Taehyung with a rusty dagger.

Taehyung waited a second before taking in a deep breath. "Yes. I am," he whispered and looked down.

Jeongguk's face muscles grew rigid and his heart felt a stab at the confession.

"Why," he asked. "I - I don't know. Before, before I say anything, I want you to hear me out Gguk, please," he replied, pleading.

Jeongguk's brain was screaming at him to leave the house and call the police. YOU'RE THREE FEET AWAY FROM A MURDERER, YOU DAMNED IDIOT .
But he remained there, unable to believe that his sweet, caring, kind and amazing boyfriend was a killer . It was impossible, he thought.

There was no chance that Taehyung could ever harm anyone.

Instead, Jeongguk nodded and approached him slowly, hesitating before taking Taehyung's hand, his own fitting in perfectly in the bigger palm. Taehyung's eyes widened in surprised before he bit his lip again, the dried blood flowing again.

Wordlessly, Jeongguk lifted himself onto his toes and kissed him slowly and deeply. He tried to pour all the unsaid sadness and emotions into his kiss before Taehyung pushed him away.

Taehyung pulled back, trembling. "No, please - I'm gonna hurt you an-and I don't w-wanna hurt y-you," he said, falling to his knees and letting the first tear slip from under his thick eyelashes.

Jeongguk crouched down, sitting in front of him.

"I d-don't wanna hurt you Ggu-Ggukie," Taehyung cried, leaning into him when Jeongguk hugged him.

When he finally quietened down, Jeongguk found himself on his lap, shirt stained with Taehyung's tears. His legs were wrapped around Taehyung and so were his arms.

"II'm sorry," Taehyung murdered and placed him on the floor.

The way he handled him warmed Jeongguk's heart. It was like he was a fragile and precious object made of glass, and would break if Taehyung was harsh with him. At that moment a thought
struck Jeongguk - there was no way in hell that Taehyung could hurt a fly, let alone kill so many people.

Nevertheless, he sat down and spoke, "Go on, explain."

Taehyung inhaled before looking into Jeongguk's eyes and starting to speak. "Remember that time you found me unconscious? Well, that wasn't the first time. And it wasn't because I hit my head too."

Jeongguk's eyebrows furrowed like they always did when he was concentrating.

"I'd been having the blackouts since... the start of October. Since - since the murders started. And each time I couldn't remember what I'd been doing before passing out. But I always woke up in home clothes and nothing ever looked out of place. Un-until one day.

I woke up with the usual headache and I was in jeans and a shirt. T-there was blood - b-blood on my shirt and I - I found a pistol in my pocket," Taehyung broke down, fresh tears erupting from his bloodshot eyes.

Jeongguk felt like his heart had been taken out of his body.

Without a second thought, he crawled over to Taehyung. The older boy stiffened, his crying pausing. Jeongguk didn't hesitate and settled in between Taehyung's crossed legs comfortably, nuzzling his nose comfortingly into his neck.

"It's okay Taehyungie, I know you didn't mean to do any of that. It's not an excuse but at least I'm glad to know it wasn't you," he whispered.

Taehyung bit his cheek, the metallic taste of blood once again filling his mouth.

"But that's the thing, it was me - I d-didn't know I was doing it but it was me all along," he said, voice cracking.

"DI D," Jeongguk suddenly sat up and spoke.

"T-taehyung, have you by any chance - felt... disconnected? Like, from your own body?," he asked, eyes blazing with an intense look. One that only appeared when he was struck with one of his brilliant brainwaves .

Taehyung thought for a while before his head twitched.

"Y-yeah, I guess - if you put it like that yes," he answered. Jeongguk swallowed, his mouth going dry. "Hyung, if there's anything you've not told me, tell me now," he replied extremely shakily .

"About wh-"
"About your childhood. You've always avoided talking about that and we both know it," Jeongguk interrupted.

Taehyung looked down, a silence filling the room before Jeongguk leaned in to hug him again when he saw Taehyung's eyes become glazed with tears.

"I'm sorry, I should've told you - it was my f-father," he sighed, fighting back emotions that threatened to overcome him. He opened his mouth to speak and let it all out.

Suddenly, Taehyung was eight again, crying pitifully as his own fucking father raped him.

Only at the age of eight .

He jerked back to reality and realized he was full on sobbing, holding on to Jeongguk's shirt like a baby. The younger was running a hand through Taehyung's soft hair, murmuring comforting words as he hugged him tightly. Taehyung could feel wetness seep into his own T-shirt, letting him know Jeongguk was crying too.

"It's gonna be okay, Tae, I'm here - he can't hurt you again hyungie, it's okay. I'm here," he whispered into Taehyung's ear. "II'm s-so sorry G-guk -, " he cried uncontrollably.

Jeongguk wiped his tears - he had to be strong for his hyung.

He pulled away, cupping Taehyung's face which was wet with tears. "Hyung, it's all fine, you're safe now. Ggukie's here Taehyungie, I'm here for you," he brought his face closer to Taehyung's, kissing his face softly .

The older's sobs died down slowly as he hiccuped.

"II'm sorry," he whispered in a hoarse voice. "That's okay Tae, you don't need to say anything else abo-," Jeongguk was cut off by him.

"I never felt like I was loved. When I was twelve, I - I tried to -," Taehyung swallowed dryly as Jeongguk's eyes widened in realization.

"No," he whispered painfully, voice flooding with sadness and misery.

"I j-jumped off a building. That's where I got this from," he continued and lifted his shirt to show a gas running across his abdomen.

Jeongguk's fingers traced it slowly and gently before he got off Taehyung's lap and lowered his head to give it a short kiss.

Taehyung's chest felt warm.

How did I get so lucky? I really don't deserve you, Ggukie. You're too pure for this world , he thought as he stared at Jeongguk's face which was growing red. "S-stop," he blushed. "What ?," Taehyung shook out of it.

"Oh fuck, tell me it wasn't the clique talking out loud about feelings," he groaned and got the confirmation from Jeongguk's adorable flushed face.

"Anyways. So yeah, then after that I started to fight back I guess. One day my dad threw a glass alcohol bottle at me," he smiled sadly and gestured to his thigh. "Almost bled to death if the neighbor hadn't found me. When I turned fourteen, I'd finally had enough. Got a job, ran away. Then I found what I'd been searching for my entire life. A meaning to it."

Jeongguk blinked.

" You , Jeongguk. I still remember that day when I met you," he smiled at the memory. The younger snorted, "You spilled burning coffee on me, I don't know what's so romantic about that."

A grin broke out on Taehyung's face.

"Back to the topic, I guess," he said, smile wiping off. "What'd you mean it wasn't me?," Taehyung turned serious again. Jeongguk inhaled before starting,

"Have you heard of - identity alteration?" When Taehyung's face reflected confusion, he added, "Multiple personality disorder." The older looked incredulous.

"DID? I - I h-have DID?," he asked, shocked.

"I would argue but yes. You do," Jeongguk said. "What do you think h-his name is? Has he ever - talked to you?," he added.

On cue, Taehyung's warm blue eyes turned icy cold.

"Kim Taeyoung, pleased to make your acquaintance. But you call me V, kitten," he smirked. This wasn't Taehyung anymore - it was V.

Jeongguk's heart sped up and he scrambled back. "T-taehyung -," he said in a weak voice.

"You were smart enough to figure it out weren't you, love? Your precious hyung isn't here anymore to protect you anymore. But I am . "

V's voice was deeper than Taehyung's if that was even possible.

Shivers ran down Jeongguk's spine.

"D-don't hurt m-me p-please," he whimpered, shrinking. V stopped dead. Something flashed in his blue eyes and his head twitched.

Pausing for a moment, he looked down and sighed.

V turned and walked back, sitting on a chair and putting up his hands. "I'm not gonna hurt you Jeongguk. Believe me, I'm not who you think I am," he said lowly. All signs of flirting were gone . Jeongguk pressed himself closer to the wall, terrified.

"Could you allow me to give you an explanation?" Jeongguk nodded without thinking.

"You were right, Taehyung does have DID, Jeongguk. But so do I. We're not the same person, Jeongguk but we're not that different either. Taehyung's scarred. His childhood was not an ideal one. He didn't get the love of a parent, fuck that, he didn't even know what love was," he said, words turning into a snarl at the end.

"Most of the times, different personalities develop when the person is... deprived of something that is natural for everybody. It can be a friend or a parent figure. I - I emerged because Taehyung was lonely back then. He didn't even know it, neither did I. I felt like a monster sometimes - no one ever appreciated me but all I was doing was try and protect him. He's like my younger brother. And why I killed all those people? I'm not normal , Jeongguk. I'm psychotic. That - that's not even the word," he sighed.

"I have psychopathy. It developed when Taehyung was 12. When he tried to - to kill himself. That drove me off the edge and I - I saw red. I didn't believe humanity had any hope left. I felt angry, I felt so fucking angry at everyone.

To think that worse had happened to people unluckier than Tae. It made me so mad, Jeongguk. I fueled that anger and it grew worse than I had expected at first. Killing all those people felt like I was removing people like our dad from this world. But it wasn't that. There's no excuse for what I did, I know. But I want you to know that it wasn't Taehyung. Don't be mad at him."

Jeongguk's heart felt like dissolving. To think that Taehyung went through all that and still kept a cool facade.

Countless times Jeongguk had himself come from school and complained about absolute rubbish while being cradled and drowned in affection and light kisses by Taehyung. He always listened, never got annoyed or irritated with him. Sure, they had their fights but that was normal and Taehyung always forgive Jeongguk immediately.

The older was never harsh with him, he always asked Jeongguk's permission countless times before they went into something intimate. Taehyung wasn't like Jeongguk's ex-boyfriend. He never forced Jeongguk into anything, never hurt him, never raised his voice at him unless they were fighting. Taehyung didn't use him for pleasure. They had made love, not sex. It wasn't senseless fucking, it was making the one you loved feel good.

All the tiny yet loving kisses - even the smallest of which Taehyung could make him into a blushing mess by.

And all this Jeongguk realized so late.

The younger male hadn't even realized that he was sobbing. Neither did he realize that V was in front of him, pain and hesitation evident on his face.

His hands were outstretched, waiting to pull Jeongguk into a hug but he was waving.

The younger was already scared of him, crying, and he didn't want him to feel worse.

Surprisingly, Jeongguk crawled over to him and placed his forehead against V's chest. The elder felt a strange warmth - one that he had never felt in his life.

Tentative, he kissed Jeongguk's head and embraced him, Jeongguk's smaller frame fitting perfectly in his arms. "II'm so-sorry," the brunette sobbed, "I'm so so sorry . "

"Hey it's okay, it's over. I-it's fine. Don't cry," V said stupidly, not knowing how to comfort him. "Tell - tell me more Taeyoungie," Jeongguk looked up at him with big, sad eyes.

V's heart nearly combusted at the nickname.

His pupils shook in nervousness and he asked, "About what?"
"Anything, j-just talk," Jeongguk pulled away from the hug but stayed close to him.

"Well - I'm 21 years old, three years older to Taehyung. And four more than you," he chuckled. "Uh, I like sports? No actually not, there's only one thing I like in the world," Jeongguk gave him a look saying what .

"You," V got smacked in the chest by him, "Fine fine! I'm sorry -," he apologized for the cheeseiness.

"You said you and Taehyungie are different but similar - what'd you mean?," Jeongguk asked after a rather comfortable silence.

"Well... Taehyung - he always seems to know how to - how to show his love to you. I wish I did, too. But the closest I've ever got is switching when you're asleep and - this may sound creepy, but I swear I'm not a creep or anything. You look angelic when you sleep and the furthest I've gone is a kiss on the cheek," V's pale cheeks were covered in a light blush as the memory re-winded .

"And he - well, he's a pure guy. He's sweet, funny and a caring boyfriend. I - well, I'm just a failure, I guess. I try to make Taehyung feel loved but I fail, I try to keep you safe - we both know how that ended," he shrugged.

"But in the end, there's only one thing that really matters to us. You, Jeongguk."

Jeongguk's face fell but at the same time he couldn't hide the redness spreading across his face.

"But I am safe, hyung," he mumbled; the floor was suddenly more interesting than V's face. The older was still staring at Jeongguk with a goofy grin. He shrugged and said, "I wasn't
there when you were in that toxic relationship, was I?," he smiled, sadness flooding his eyes.

"That wasn't your fault, Taeyoungie, and it's alright - Tae was there and so, in a way, even you," Jeongguk said trying to comfort him. V shrugged.

"The murders - they weren't your boyfriend Jeongguk. That was me." He sighed. "I don't even know why I did it. I - Listen, Jeongguk there's something extremely important I need to tell you. After I' m gone - a-after I - switch, that is. You'll find a note, okay? It's in the drawer of your desk in our room. But you have to swear to me that you will not open it until you feel the time is right. It's gonna explain everything that I don't have the courage to, okay? Swear it, Jeonggukie. "

The urgency and desperation in his voice shook him out of his confusion. "A-alright, I do," Jeongguk said. "Say it." "I
swear that I'm gonna open your - note... when I know the time is right," he promised.

V sighed in relief.

"I'm sorry about it but I can't explain now, okay? II.. uh, um - I just wanted to say -," he bit his lip, trying to say it like he'd known Taehyung could do so easily.

Jeongguk placed a doubtful hand on his shoulder, freezing V immediately. "I'm sorry I've just never -" he took a deep breath before saying it quickly "I-love-you."

The younger giggled adorably which made V's cheeks darken visibly.

Jeongguk leaned in to plant a kiss on his cheek when he was looking away but V accidentally turned his head at the last moment, making their lips meet in the clique way.

Jeongguk's confidence dissipated as usual at the familiar feeling while V's grew.

The older was frozen for a while before he deepened the kiss and made Jeongguk let out a breathy moan. Unlike expected, V didn't lose his step and instead, felt more confident. His hands slipped around Jeongguk's small waist and pulled him onto his lap while the younger's reached V's hair, clutching onto it.

A few minutes later they pulled apart, not depleted completely of oxygen because V pulled away whenever he felt Jeongguk tug harshly at his hair.

"H-holy shit," V panted.

"You d-do know that was not only my first k-kiss but my first make out t-too," he smiled, looking at the flushed boy on his lap. Jeongguk was still too out of breath to say anything. V gave a sad smile before pecking his cheek and mumbling an "I love you".

Before Jeongguk could comprehend anything, V's eyes blanked and he was falling backwards to the floor. "H-hyung what," Jeongguk caught his fists in time and surprisingly, instead of blacking out, Taehyung just sat up, his face red and paused for a few minutes.

"I remember - Taeyoung - h-he - oh Christ," he turned redder, matching Jeongguk's face.

"It's - f-fine, I sort of l-liked it," Jeongguk admitted, now resembling a cherry. "Well I'm glad." Suddenly Taehyung's face turned pale again. With all the sudden memories, he remembered what V and he had discussed without even knowing it.

"Ggukie - I - we need to talk about something."

He led Jeongguk over to the living room and sat down opposite to him on the couch. "Look, Jeongguk, now that you know it wasn't me who did - the murders, there's something else. DID or not, others are not gonna believe that.

And it was wrong. You know me Ggukie, and you know my own opinion matters the most to me. And to me, it was wrong. The day I found out, he had killed two people - two boys. They reminded me of us . And I - I did that to them. I can't live with myself knowing that, Gguk. So I'm gonna ask two things of you. Please . "

Jeongguk nodded, shivering. It had been a weird day and it wasn't getting any better.

"First, you have to promise that you'll keep this to yourself. It's for your own safety, love. This piece of information has to be kept within us. Second, take care. Be safe, Jeongguk, okay? Now swear those two things to me, baby." Jeongguk did as asked, every inch of him was puzzled.

"I love you, Jeon Jeongguk. Remember that. I hope you understand why I'm doing this. Remember what you swore to me, Jeonggukie. I love you. I love you so fucking much, Jeongguk . "

In a flash of gray and black, a shot echoed through the house and Taehyung slumped forward, motionless.

"H-hyung?," Jeongguk's heart raced.

"No no no, NO TAEHYUNG -," he darted forward, tears already flowing down his cheeks.

"NO TAE - No, please - hyung plea-please ," a choked whisper escaped him as he turned Taehyung to face him.

The pistol had slipped out of his grip and was lying on the floor.

Taehyung looked relaxed, like he was just asleep. But the redness seeping out of the side of his head said otherwise. There was a small hole out of which the blood was flowing, its sides scorched because of the bullet entering.

Jeongguk stopped breathing for a minute, his lungs burning and his heart turning into stone. He was desperate, he wanted to call the ambulance, the police - anybody . But he knew it would be useless. Taehyung would be found out and his last wish would be broken by Jeongguk.

The boy stared at his still boyfriend, his grip loosening before a heart-wrenching scream made its way out of him. " No hyung - TAEHYUNG WHY ," he broke down, tears never stopping.

Jeongguk clutched onto the lifeless body, crying miserably. His body was convulsing with his cries uncontrollably.

Taehyung's name escaped him like a broken record.

A total of an hour later, Jeongguk felt the agony of losing the love of his life wash away. But it was instantly replaced with rage. Anger like the boy had never known before. He moved away from Taehyung, who could still be mistaken to be asleep.

He leaned against the wall, trying to keep the fury inside. Jeongguk's fists clenched together, his body shaking again. This time it was with wrath.

Memories with Taehyung flashed whenever he closed his eyes. Jeongguk stood up shaking, and made his way to their room, his mind only set on one thing. The note . That was the last purpose of his life.

The last and final one.

He rummaged in the drawer, face lacking any emotion. Suddenly his fingers closed around a thick envelope and he drew it out, fear and indescribable pain washing over him again. Jeongguk turned it over and it was like a punch in the gut when he saw the all-too-familiar handwriting.

Collapsing on the bed, he sat down and started to read.

To the love of my life, Jeon Jeongguk.

Tears formed in the corners of his eyes almost immediately, but he turned the envelope and took the parchment paper out.

My dear Jeonggukie,
I'm not good at writing letters and of all people, you know that the best. So I don't know where to start. Ah great, I didn't even begin and I've already made it awkward . Well you can't blame me, I'm new to this.

Jeongguk smiled softly at the words, the cuteness pouring out through the paper. He wiped a tear away, almost able to hear Taehyung's voice.

As cheesy as it may seem, I still remember the first time I saw you. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't when I spilled coffee on you by mistake. That was really embarrassing, to be honest. It was actually way before that . You were new at school and wandering around the hallways, evidently lost. You had bumped into me, apologized adorably but hadn't paid any attention to me.

Jeongguk was blank at this new information but suddenly it was like he was back at school, on the first day. He let out a tiny gasp as he remembered. He was looking down at his schedule, trying to find his math class when he had knocked into a hunched figure way taller than him. Apologizing profusely, he had scurried away sheepishly.

Taehyung remembered that?

I was a jerk then, but I had seen you. But then we ran into each other again, quite literally, and that's when you noticed me.

I would never have admitted then but now I'll say without hesitation it was like love at first sight. Cheesy, again but even I never believed in that. Jeongguk, I would like to thank you for showing me how to love. For teaching me what love is. When you read this, I'll probably have told you about my childhood. I don't want you to pity me, but I do want to tell you that you really are a one-of-a-kind person.

The sincerity in his words made Jeongguk give in to his bubbling sadness threatening to overflow and let himself cry softly.

If you didn't figure it out, which I'm sure you've done - my little intelligent, nerdy baby boy - I do know I have DID. I got to know the day I woke up in jeans with a gun. I 'm writing this letter from both Taeyoung and me.

V has a disorder, Jeongguk. I've never gone to the doctor to talk about it but I think it's psychopathy. He refuses to tell me but it slipped out once. We could've treated it if I'd known before.

Gguk, I know you're reading this when I'm not there anymore. You know I had to do it. I'm just so fucking sorry I couldn't tell you beforehand.

I didn't do it of instinct or impulse, you know? V and I - we had talked about this a lot. It's not a decision of pink or blue, noodles or rice. It was a decision. Hard and - terrifying to make . But I agreed in the end.

I'm sorry Jeonggukie. I'm so very sorry you have to go through this. But remember your promise. Stay strong, Ggukie. Stay safe and strong. You'll find someone else, love. I wasn't the one for you.

Jeongguk, believe me, I don't deserve someone like you. You do not deserve to have such a terrible boyfriend like me. You deserve someone who'll take care of you, someone who's not diagnosed with disorders. Someone who can love you better than me.

Jeongguk threw the paper aside, getting up and falling to his feet on the floor. He clawed at his chest, trying to get rid of the burning grief inside.

Biting into his arm, he muffled a mix of a howl and a sob.

You're the only one for me Tae. I'm sorry for everything. Just please, PLEASE come back, hyung please , he called out to Taehyung with his mind.

I'm a coward Jeonggukie. I couldn't imagine life without you. But all the people I've killed haunt me. I can't live with so many people's blood on my hands.

I love you so much bunny. Please take care of yourself for me, love.

Yours lovingly,
Taehyungie

Jeongguk felt a part of him dissolve - a deep void opened up inside of him. He thought he wouldn't be able to move ever again and would probably die of starvation or dehydration. But his movements were mechanized, like an unfeeling robot's. His heart was already starting to build up metal barriers so that Jeongguk would never be able to feel anything again.

He went out to the living room and tried to keep his gaze away from Taehyung's body in vain. And immediately it was like a completely new surge of emotion overcame him. What was worse was that at first glance, the older looked merely asleep.

It felt like he had just returned from university and found Taehyung out cold with books or a laptop with an open document on it. It felt like he should go make two cups of cocoa and then wake Taehyung up by kissing him teasingly. It felt like he should drop his heavy bag full of notebooks and go over to him, cuddle into him, seep in his warmth and fall asleep too.

Jeongguk wiped his face harshly.

It was as Taehyung's casket was being lowered to the ground that Jeongguk let one last tear fall.

The first of the infinite to come.

The last time he ever felt any kind of human emotion.

But deep inside, Jeon Jeongguk knew that Taehyung's tranquil and blissful face in death would haunt him forever.

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35 years later

Jeon Jeongguk's name was known all over the world - the insanely successful and rich business man who was shrouded in mystery. He had started off as an employee in a small company, his brisk and practical manner earning promotions after promotions until he was the manager.

But then he had vanished. Into thin air as it seemed. Two months later, he reappeared, this time the assistant manager of one of the biggest companies of Seoul and the fourth biggest in the entire world. Not so long afterwards, Jeongguk became the CEO of the company and ran it smoothly, improving it and adding new changes.

But what bemused everyone was that he was like no other CEO they had known.

There was none of the flirty, playboy nature. Neither did he like giving speeches or hosting huge parties. Jeon Jeongguk was a silent and powerful person.

He didn't have any dominant vibe but the controlling and empowering aura was there.

They said he had gone through heartbreak. They said he was just like that all his life. They said he had lost someone. They also said that he was a vampire.

People will believe anything, really.

But Jeongguk didn't want fame. He worked hard and fast only to keep his mind distracted and to not think of his past. Of the person he had sworn to leave in it. But whether he admitted it or not, Jeongguk's mind was always focused on a particular male. A boy by the name of Kim Taehyung. Whether he wanted to or not, there wasn't a single day that passed that he didn't remember every little detail of the older and lived their time together.

Jeongguk wanted to kill himself, he really did.

He had gone so far to do it, attempted twice before he stopped altogether. He had to keep his promise, remember Taehyung's last wishes.

The letter was still with him. Jeongguk had it folded carefully in layers of envelopes. He read it every night, without fail. He read it every day, whenever work got frustrating. The paper had tear stains on it, old and new, but it was somehow nowhere close to getting torn.

Taehyung would have been proud of his baby. He would have been happy to know that Jeongguk had become successful. But he would've been heartbroken as well because stone-heart or not Jeongguk would cry himself to sleep every night.

Unless he had passed out at work, of course.

Jeongguk didn't want money. He didn't want fame, success or anything a young man would aspire for. His only aim was to grow older and die.

The faster the better because he didn't think he could bear the pain of a life without Kim Taehyung in it.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

It was on an unusually warm winter's morning that Jeon Jeongguk breathed his last.

The last person who saw him? Probably his right-hand man all those years ago when he retired. The exact time of death? 7:24 am. The date? 18th October, the same as Taehyung except 65 years later. And his last words?

The ones he had never been able to tell the love of his life.

"I love you too, Taehyung-ah," a hoarse whisper emitted him before his chest stopped moving forever.

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

Jeongguk knew he was dead.

He knew from the second he closed his eyes and let out that breath which seemed so normal.

But it didn't scare him. On the contrary, he felt at peace with the world. He didn't feel anything, but it wasn't like the cold unfeeling nature he had gotten after the incident.

He looked down at himself, doing a double take. His hands weren't wrinkled and bony anymore, and he felt younger. He looked younger. His white hair had gone, replaced by his soft, dark brown locks that fell all over his forehead . The shrivelled skin was now smooth and milky again.

Jeongguk looked around, Is this heaven? Not quite homely, I'd say.

Everything was white, bright light that seemed to emit out of everywhere and nowhere.

"Jeongguk," a deep voice called out.

The boy spun around at the speed of lightning. He recognized the voice despite having heard it last around sixty years ago. And sure enough, his hopes were confirmed when his eyes fell on a familiar, taller figure standing in front of him.

Instead of going toward him, Jeongguk stepped back, his eyes narrowed in incredulity and fear of getting too hopeful. His lower lip wobbled and his gaze raked over the person, not missing a detail.

"No no no - you're not r-real you're just - j-just another hallucination -," his voice got higher and louder with each word and he finally looked away, trying to escape.

"Jeongguk-ah, it's me. Look at me Gguk ."
The nickname forced him to look back, his doe eyes widened in expectation. "T-taehyung?," the other nodded, a smile slowly breaking out on his face. He looked sad, as if the boy's fear of being brought to reality hurt him.

And that was all it took for Jeongguk to dart forward, flying into Taehyung and nearly knocking him over.
"Hey now, Lightning McQueen, slow down," he chuckled, feeling indescribably warm at the younger's smaller frame fitting right into his arms at the embrace.

Taehyung felt his T-shirt get damp and pushed Jeongguk away gently, crouching down because the brunette was on his knees.

"Oh no - Jeonggukie, please don't - d-don't cry, baby," he pushed Jeongguk's face into his neck, stroking the back of his hair softly.

Jeongguk was squeezing the older tightly, all four limbs wrapped around him like a koala as if he was afraid that Taehyung would disappear if he let go. He sobbed like an infant, and it felt like he was suddenly 15 again, crying of fear, guilt, sadness and relief when they made up after a fight.

"Hey, it's okay baby, I'm here. I'm not gonn-," Taehyung was interrupted by Jeongguk's heartrending cry. "Don't - d-don't leave me h-hyung please!"

The boy was clearly broken and it hurt Taehyung to see him so vulnerable.

He gripped Jeongguk's shoulders and looked into his eyes. "I'm not gonna go anywhere love. I'm right here. Forever and always, yeah?," he said softly.

"F-forever and a-always," came the shaky reply. Jeongguk sniffled, wiping his nose on Taehyung's shirt.
"You've fought through so much, baby. I wish I was there for you, I really do. I' m so fucking sorry I made your life like that," he looked down.

Jeongguk shook his head quickly. "N-no hyung, it wasn't your fault."

"Ah well. What's gone is gone. Right now we have a very nice future in front of us," he smiled, cupping Jeongguk's cheek and wiping away his tears gently with his thumb. "Wh-when we're dead?," the younger snorted, wiping his face with his sleeve.

He hadn't noticed but he was wearing a baby blue hoodie paired with light washed blue jeans.

" Heaven is better than you may think, Jeongguk. You can literally do anything and everything, I kid you not." Jeongguk shrugged. There was a brief moment of silence before he spoke again, in a choked voice. "I've missed you hyungie."

"I've missed you too, bunny. So much. I saw you everyday and I'm proud of you. I just," he sighed, "I wish I could've been there to support you."

Jeongguk scooted forwards and latched himself onto Taehyung again. The older picked him up effortlessly on his lap and leaned in to touch their noses together. They stayed like that for a few minutes before Taehyung gave in and kissed him, their lips molding together after about an eternity.

"I love you," Taehyung muttered deeply after they pulled apart, those three simple words opening up a cage of butterflies into Jeongguk's stomach again.

The two were really never apart, even in death.

Jeongguk lived on Earth only to fulfill Taehyung's last promise and Taehyung stayed on that realm for years, all alone, just to see Jeongguk again after he passed away.

Love really is forever and always.

~ 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖓𝖉 ~

AN Holy SHI- this is the longest chapter in the book oh my holy namjesus - never knew I could write such angst good heavens. No kidding, when I was writing I was all 👁️👄👁️ 👍🏻 but while editing i was like (ಥ ͜ʖಥ)

I was working on it for fourteen days and ten nights. I counted lmao - well please do comment and vote!! i'M sO eXciTeD fOR cHRiSTmAs OmF. tHoUgh ThiS iS gOnnA bE ThE wORsT ChRiSTmAs eVeR. fVcK mY LiFeU.

Love you all so much!

wait FIRST TELL ME HOW IT WAS, your comments really make me so damn happy. They really do make me write better and motivate me to do better so thank you to everyone.

EDIT: I really want to thank someone here who pointed something extremely important. This chapter was originally going to be about Taehyung with psychopathy but then I did some research on it and I decided against it. So I brought in DID, but I researched as much as I could on that as well.

(Basically here, Taehyung/V have gone through all kinds of shit and that affected them horribly, and I sorta implied that V ended up slowly developing psychopathy. NEITHER of these disorders are light things to play around with and write stories about. What I'm trying to say is that, by no means , is someone with a disorder like DID a monster. Far from it, people with it are usually hiding from monsters in their head. All the stigma and media misrepresentation around DID is bad enough without me making it worse. DID has nothing to do with why I portrayed V as a villain here. Again, this disorder is very complicated and I do not want to go into details here and make worse mistakes.)

Again, thank you so much. I won't mention their username because anonymity is a thing. I hope no one gets affected by what I wrote, and again, please please let me know if I've ever written something wrong or awful, something I don't know about or shouldn't be talking about. I used to write these stories when I was a lot younger, obviously immature. But as horrifying and cringe worthy these stories are to reread, I don't want to delete anything.

Thank you for reading this book and wow, some comments are making me find a meaning to my life. Like stop im sensitive  - but also don't stop cause it makes me feel so much better. Yes, quite literally, I'm sick - anYWAYS, have a great day! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

~ Lesley ❤