He's been fighting an internal battle for a very long time. Ever since the day the universe decided to test his patience and make Kim Taehyung his dorm mate.

They saw it coming, as the group of 7 moved into their new place—seeing as Jeongguk and Taehyung were always together anyway. It made sense to room them together.

And the first few months were fine. Truly. Whenever they slept in their beds at the end of the night all was good and normal. Tolerable.

Oh but then somehow, he doesn't really remember how it happened but they started to share a bed.

Innocently, simply taking up two sides of one mattress. He didn't mind, it helped Taehyung sleep better so of course he was willing.

Taehyung got the miraculous idea one day that they should order a king size bed, so that they weren't cramped on the full sized one anymore.

Jeongguk thought this was a GREAT idea.

So they did.

Ordered a wonderfully large and soft bed to replace the two fulls in their room. When the hyungs asked, Taehyung simply explained "I like to hug when I sleep and Jungoo likes to be hugged. This is why we're BESTFRIENDS."

Ahhh, there it is. The bane of Jeongguk's existence. An 11 letter word that has the power to ruin his life every time it leaves a certain pair of heart shaped lips.

After some time though, maybe another month. Taehyung didn't want to hold Jeongguk as he slept anymore, he wanted to be held. Which was alright, I mean Jeongguk has only been insanely attracted to Taehyung since he was 13 years old. How would he ever say no to the opportunity to have this gorgeous man in his arms.

And so they do. Every night.

Taehyung crawls into bed and curls over facing the left hand side, Jeongguk slides in right behind him. Fully embracing the big spoon role as he throws an arm and a leg around Taehyung.

Jeongguk's been fighting an internal battle for a long time. Because he's so crazy about Taehyung and the other has no idea.

No idea the way his voice sends butterflies to Jeongguk's stomach.

No idea the way Jeongguk's heart sings everytime they touch.

NO IDEA the way Jeongguk wants to /touch/ him, hold him properly, kiss him.

And Taehyung really has no idea of any of this as he shifts in his sleep, leaning the top half of his body forward a little and the bottom half back more. Rubbing right against Jeongguk's crotch and leaving Jeongguk with a problem he can't handle laying in this bed.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Believe it or not Jeongguk does survive the happenings of that night. So what if he had to jerk off in the bathroom. Imagining what it'd be like if he didn't leave the room, if he had the luxury of grabbing onto Taehyung. Kissing him, grinding their bodies together, getting immersed in the feeling of being together. God Jeongguk wishes he could have such things. But he can't which is why he gets off to the thought.

Some more time passes and well Jeongguk's internal battle is a full fledged war. Between the logical, scared side of him and the desperate, bold side of him.

He and Taehyung have gotten closer. They cuddle more than just at bedtime now. Sometimes on the couch, or in a chair when there aren't enough seats for all 7 of them. In the car. Really anywhere that Taehyung wants cuddles, Jeongguk gives him cuddles.

And he knows it means nothing to Taehyung because if Jeongguk is ever busy or not available, whenever he comes back he just sees Taehyung cuddled up to one of the other guys. Yeah that hurts.

It hurts so much that Jeongguk completely looks over the fact that as soon as he enters any room Taehyung rushes to his side.

His heart aches whenever Taehyung burrows up into him because he doesn't notice the way Taehyung smiles at him, all that Jeongguk can think about is the fact that the moment he leaves Taehyung is with someone else.

And he shouldn't care because it's not like Taehyung and he have anything. They're best friends. Taehyung makes it a point to say that all the time.

"I love you Guk, thanks for being my friend"

"I'm so glad your my best friend"

"Can't imagine what life would be like if you weren't my best friend"

His mind is so fixated on that damn word that Jeongguk always misses whenever Taehyung says other things like

"You look so cute when your nose scrunches" 

"My eyes are always on you, y'know?"

 "I couldn't live without you" 

"I hope we stay like this forever" 

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

So he's been fighting this internal battle for a very long time. As the days fade into weeks and months, months into a year. Jeongguk realizes his problem is nowhere near better.

It's worse, so much worse.

Because now Taehyung kisses him. Okay, he doesn't /kiss/ him on the lips. But he nuzzles against his temple, pecks the crown of his head, burrows his face into his neck when its chilly outside so his lips brush over Jeongguk's skin.

No one else bats an eye because, well, they've always been ... touchy. So it isn't weird when they're walking somewhere and Taehyung slides his long fingers in between Jeongguk's own for a few short moments.

It isn't odd to see them sitting on the couch Taehyung's head in Jeongguk's lap while Jeongguk runs his fingers through the curly mop of hair.

Not surprising in the slightest, when Taehyung gets tired and Jeongguk piggybacks him to wherever it is they are going—even if it's just down the hall to their room.

After one day of particularly intense cuddling, Jeongguk decides he needs to breathe. Not because he's tired of it, but because if he has it any longer he's never going to let go.

He's going to tell Taehyung everything he's thought since he was 13. Going to hold onto him and pull him close and never, ever, ever, let go.

So he says "don't wait up for me, hyung. Going out with the guys."

And he's so quick to leave Jeongguk doesn't notice the way Taehyung's face crumpled and he drops the gift bag he was holding.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

It's near 1 a.m. whenever Jeongguk makes it back to the dorm. Honestly, a part of him feels relieved that he was able to remove himself for a moment.

Bring himself back to earth, remind himself that Taehyung is far too precious for him to let any silly feelings get in the way.

Whenever he gets back the entire house is dark, he figures everyone is asleep so he heads to their room.

When he drops his wallet and keys on the dresser he notices a small gift bag, with a giant sparkly tag that reads "To my Guk, Love TaeTae"

He smiles at the tag.. is going to open the gift but decides to wait until Taehyung wakes up in the morning. Doesn't think twice about why on earth Taehyung possibly bought him something.

After discarding everything but his boxers, Jeongguk is ready to slide into bed. Quick to return to his normal position as Tae's big spoon when he does though, he notices something.

The dim light of the night lamp he turned on shows Taehyung's body and he doesn't see the normal pink and white striped pajama pants. All he sees is a big white t-shirt and he's 80% positive that it's his.

His breath hitches at the thought of Taehyung, freshly showered, hair dripping wet, strolling over to Jeongguk's side of the closet. Probably doing a little dance and humming while he finds a shirt comfy enough to wear.

Fuck. He missed the opportunity to witness that because he decided to go out. After sulking for just a moment, admiring the rise and fall of Taehyung's body. Jeongguk finally does slide into bed, curling his body against Taehyung's...arm wrapping protectively around his waist.

The familiar mixture of Jasmine and Raspberries prickling his nose and he unconsciously nuzzles his nose into Taehyung's hair.

Jeongguk's eyes are closed and he tries to focus on falling asleep but he can't. Because he feels the soft fabric of his shirt clinging to Taehyung's lithe body and he's so jealous.

Jealous of his shirt feeling the warmth of Taehyung's bare skin. So jealous.. and only slightly buzzed whenever he loosens his hold on Taehyung's waist, instead choosing to delicately run his hand along Taehyung's side, down to his thighs where the hem of his shirt lies.

Jeongguk bites his lip at the thought of raising it just a little. Feeling the honey tanned skin he dreams about so often. Figures it wouldn't be the first time Taehyung's shirt rode up in the night and Jeongguk has always slept shirtless.

Doesn't think Taehyung would question it. So he does. He lets his hand roam up the fabric and when he does he expects to feel shorts of some kind, the athletic ones that go "swish" when you walk.

He doesn't though.

He feels silk.

Tight, smooth silk, hugging Taehyung's thigh and it's quite literally everything he has to force his hand up to Taehyung's stomach and not let it slide down.

And that War in Jeongguk's brain? Has now escalated to a damn apocalypse. Jeongguk's brain is officially destroyed.

Because he just has image after image playing in his brain. Him rubbing Taehyung's thighs, gripping onto his tiny waist, kissing his lips—god Jeongguk would sell his soul to the devil if it meant he could kiss Taehyung just once but then he realizes Taehyung /has/ to be the devil looking the way he does so that deal wouldn't go through.

He has stilled his hand, letting it rest on Taehyung's soft tummy whenever he feels the other stir in his sleep, wiggling a little bit and then it happens again. Taehyung's ass is pressed flush against Jeongguk's groin and he just knows that if Taehyung were awake he'd feel his embarrassingly hard dick immediately.

He wonders if maybe—just maybe Taehyung is awake. Maybe Taehyung /wants/ to be closer to Jeongguk.

Thinks about what Taehyung's reaction would be to him letting his hands roam, resting on Taehyung's hips. Decides, it couldn't hurt? So he does.

So softly, does he let his hand glide from Taehyung's tummy up to his side, then down the expanse of skin, taking purchase on his hips.

Jeongguk has to bite on his lips to hold back the groan that wants to escape because his palm is resting so close to Taehyung's ass.

If he moved it, just an inch. He'd be able to feel the plump skin. Wonders what it's like to knead it into his hands. Filthy images flashing in his mind of Taehyung bent over, both of his hands splayed out on the perky ass cheeks gripping them as he fu—

Jeongguk freezes.

In his moment of weakness. Moment of self indulgence. In the split second where he let his mind fantasize about all the things he'd love to do to Taehyung, his hand slipped.

It now is resting on Taehyung's ass and Jeongguk feels chills go over all of his skin whenever he squeezes, just slightly. He barely did it. Thinks if Taehyung is asleep there's /no way/ he felt it.

So he does it again and fuck, now his brain won't stop and he doesn't even notice what he's doing until he rolls his hips and thrusts his throbbing cock against Taehyung's ass.

Shit—shit, he's so turned on, so fucking horny, he has to get out of this bed. He keeps getting lost in his thoughts and he feels so dirty, so disgusted that he groped Taehyung in his sleep.

Fuck—what is wrong with him?! His brain is a mess and he's about to climb out of the bed whenever he feels Taehyung's hand grab his wrist as he sits up.

"Come back" he thinks he hears. Wonders if Taehyung is just super sleepy and wants his warmth. Poor Taehyung must not know what Jeongguk was thinking—God he feels so horrible.

"Gukkie, please, I want you" he hears and his whole body goes numb. Did he hear that right? Surely that's not what Taehyung meant? It's his lust filled brain trying to convince him that Taehyung was awake and that Taehyung wanted that. Enjoyed it.

He pulls his arm from Taehyung's grasp and then the blonde turns over, eyes hooded and he licks his lip. "Please" he says one more time voice so low..so husky, and Jeongguk is never, ever, going to say no to that voice.

He practically jumps back onto the mattress and immediately hovers over Taehyung. Can't breathe, feels so suffocated by the way Taehyung is looking at him.

"Tae..w-were you?" He whispers, one hand on either side of Taehyung's head while half of his body is over him.

"Yes—God yes" Taehyung groans, fingers reaching for Jeongguk's shoulders and pulling him down. Slamming their lips together without hesitation. Leaving no time for Jeongguk's already destroyed brain to comprehend what is happening.

One of his hands is in Taehyung's hair tugging the locks slightly as he leaves open mouthed kisses on Taehyung's jawline. Just the way he's imagined so many times.

"..Jeongguk" Taehyung breathes out, breath ghosting Jeongguk's shoulder and said man stops his kisses, leans back to meet Taehyung's gaze and finds something he's never witnessed on Taehyung. He isn't even sure what it is. So he just humms and waits for Taehyung to speak some more.

Wants to hear that smooth voice purr in his ear all night long.

"Do you want me?" He asks and Jeongguk's mouth gapes. Wonders how the fuck that isn't obvious? How hasn't it been obvious for the last 10 years of their lives that Jeongguk wants him.

"You really have to ask? Fuck Taehyung, yes I want you. Want you so bad" he voices out before combing their lips together again. Wetting the chapped skin with his tongue before sliding it in, groaning when he's met with Taehyung's tongue and they start sliding together. Dancing erotically as Jeongguk's hands tighten the hold they have on Taehyung's waist.

He decides that if he's fulfilling fantasies tonight then he's gonna keep going, so using all of his strength he flips them over. Makes it to where Taehyung has no choice but to straddle him.

"You're so strong" Taehyung says through the surprised noise that he lets out and Jeongguk smirks "that a good thing?"

Taehyung rolls his eyes before leaning down to peck Jeongguk's lips, punctuating each of his next words with a kiss "So. Fucking. Hot."

Jeongguk audibly groans into Taehyung's kiss and lets his hands slide down to his ass. The irresistibly plump skin that started this and now both of their cocks are brushing against each other as Taehyung rolls his hips against Jeongguk.

"Dreamt of this.. god wanted you all of this time.. always wanted you" he murmurs against Tae's ear and feels the other still. Leans back, rests his palms on Jeongguk's chest.

Once they locks eyes Taehyung takes his hands to the hem of /his/ shirt, lifts it off seductively before he leans back down. Chest to chest with Jeongguk and it's so warm. The sensation of skin against skin.

"Take me Guk.. I'm yours.." it's breathed out just barely.. Jeongguk may not have heard it if he hadn't slowed down his own breathing. But the words are everything. Everything he needs.

He squeezes at Taehyung's ass and absolutely loses himself in the way Taehyung whimpers, ruts their cocks against each other and Jeongguk thinks that two sets of boxers are two sets too many.

He grabs the waistline of Taehyung's silk briefs and licks his lips at the sight. Crimson red silk rested against golden skin is a fucking masterpiece that only /he/ is allowed to admire, he decides.

Slides them down slowly, watches as Taehyung's long legs kick off the fabric. "Kim Taehyung—" he speaks breathlessly and the said man looks at him with curious eyes "you are heavenly" pressing their lips together soft, slow, their tiredness is seeping through. Knowing it must be close to 3 a.m. by now. But no amount of exhaustion could stop this.

Taehyung leans down to remove Jeongguk's boxers and bites on his lip whenever the throbbing cock springs free. Doesn't think twice before sliding his mouth onto the member, tongue lapping all around the head. Toying with the slit of Jeongguk's dick and making his knees weak.

"Yes—oh fuck, just like that" he hears and Taehyung has to grab his own erection when he hears Jeongguk's moans. He himself has imagined what they sound like, and has wanted for so long to be the cause of them.

He's deep throating Jeongguk's cock and tears are filling his eyes when he feels hands gripping his hair and yanking him off. "Hell, as good as you look sucking my cock, I've gotta fuck you, gotta feel you" Jeongguk's speaks earnestly and Taehyung is so excited.

"How do you want me?" He purrs, mouthing from Jeongguk's cock, up his abs and chest, sucking a bruising mark on his neck and then finally breath fanning over his lips. Just barely brushing together.

Jeongguk combines them, kisses Taehyung so passionately that he wonders how many others have experience this. Then Jeongguk pulls away and gently pushes Taehyung to the side, "Ass up" he smirks, smacking the skin lightly as Taehyung gets himself into position.

Face buried into the mattress and back arched so beautifully, round cheeks on full display for Jeongguk. "fuck Tae, do you have any idea what you do to me? Looking the way you do?" He lets his hands knead the skin just as he imagined before

Leans down and Taehyung whimpers when he feels breath over his hole, and then there's a wet sensation probing inside and he has to bring the pillow to his mouth to hold back the scream.

Jeongguk is ruthless in the way he laps his tongue inside Taehyung's hole. Drenching the tight walls with his saliva, hands still squeezing Taehyung's ass.

His dick is dripping with his precome as he realizes he could get off just by eating Taehyung out. Plans to do so at a later date.

For now he slides a finger in with his tongue and the way Taehyung's thighs tremble in his hold has him quick to add in another, curling up just right when he hears a moan and Taehyung's body writhes.

He pulls away, mouth a mess when he presses kisses to Taehyung's lower back, "think you're ready for me, pretty?" As one hand rubs over Taehyung's back he begins guiding his cock to the puckered, wet hole.

"Fuck—Jeongguk please, please fuck me. Fuck me so good." Taehyung chokes out before burying his face back into the pillow and Jeongguk slides in.

Body shuddering as he feels every centimeter of his cock be sucked in by the sinful heat that he is surely to be addicted to.

"Fuck.. Tae oh my god.. fuck!" Jeongguk all but shouts. Is so pissed that they share a house with 5 other men because he wants to hear Taehyung scream.

Watches as the long fingers clutch onto the sheets desperately, the sounds of skin slapping echoing in his ear as he watches the way Taehyung's ass takes his dick so well, so beautifully, so perfectly.

He hears Taehyung moan into the pillow and he can't help it whenever he picks up his pace, fucks into the tight hole with all of his strength. Has to bite down on Taehyung's shoulder to hold back his own moan whenever he releases, comes so hard he feels all of his energy drain out.

Only to be rejuvenated whenever he feels Taehyung's body twitching underneath him and then his hand is covered in come. Hears an exasperated moan leave Taehyung's mouth as he slides his cock out, slowly.

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

"Jeongguk" Taehyung says, once he's dressed again and Jeongguk returns from the kitchen with two bottles of water.

"Taehyung.." he returns, gulping because he's so scared. So scared if Taehyung was just lost in his sleepy haze to really capture the reality of what they just did.

"Did you open your present?" he asks, nodding towards the bag and Jeongguk shakes his head no "wanted to open it when you were awake"

Taehyung smiles, "open it now" and Jeongguk nods curtly, grabbing the bag.

"What is this for, Tae?" he asks nervously and Taehyung smiles fondly, shaking his head. Letting Jeongguk know that he's not telling him.

When he opens the bag to find a blu ray copy of Avenger's Endgame he's /very/ confused. He keeps pulling things out; snacks, a carton of banana milk, a pair of fuzzy socks. He looks up at Taehyung with furrowed brows and Taehyung points to the card on the outside of the bag.

Jeongguk feels his heart sink whenever he opens it and reads the note inside

Happy one year of being roommates Gukkie. Here's some of your favorite things. Love, Tae.

P.S: Maybe next year we could celebrate 2 years of being roommates and 1 year of being boyfriends?

He looks up at Taehyung with his jaw to the floor and Taehyung is nibbling on his bottom lip.

"Taehyungie.. Oh god.. I'm so sorry.. I'm such a dick" he shakes his head, feels tears prickling his eyes because he should've known there was a reason Taehyung was so /so/ clingy today. Hates himself for choosing to spend the night out whenever he could've enjoyed his first night as Taehyung's boyfriend. Cuddled up watching his favorite movie and kissing and /loving/ Taehyung.

Taehyung smiles shyly and steps closer into Jeongguk's space. "You didn't know, Guk" he whispered as he curled his hands around Jeongguk's neck. Smiling even wider whenever Jeongguk drops the note on the dresser and wraps his arms around Taehyung's waist. Pulling him as close as possible.

"You know don't you?" he asks and Taehyung looks at him with confusion painted on his face. Jeongguk chuckles and squeezes Taehyung's waist "You already know how much I love you" he murmurs against Taehyung's lips before pressing them together soft and sweet.

Taehyung pulls away with a giggle, "Well, I didn't /know/" eyes turning into crescents as he smiles and Jeongguk thinks Taehyung must have been created by God with the moon and stars in mind "but I really hoped so" he finally says. Pressing another kiss to Jeongguk's lips before pulling away and dragging Jeongguk with him to bed.

Snuggling together closer than they ever have, Taehyung presses a butterfly kiss to Jeongguk's cheek and Jeongguk kisses the crown of his head in return.

"Love you, Tae" he breathes out as he feels sleep overtaking them both

"Love you too, Gukkie"

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||| since my last pwp was pure filth, I wanted to write something soft :(