Air: *starts tearing the room apart*

Air: NIGHTFLYER QUICK

Nightflyer: What?

Air: I NEED A PUMPKIN, DOG FUR, AND THREE JARS OF MAYONNAISE. STAT. 

Nightflyer: what....What does that have to do with Halloween?

Air: IT'S THE GISH HALLOWEEN MINI HUNT, DUH!

Nightflyer: Ah, that makes sense. I'll get the pumpkin.

Air: YES, GOOD. THIS HUNT IS THE ONLY THING DISTRACTING ME FROM MY SEVERE TRAUMA FROM THE LAST EPISODE OF SUPERNATURAL, SO GO GO GO.

Joy: What was there to be traumatized about?

Air:............

Nightflyer: Oh my moons, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT-

Air: It's fine. I'll just go with my analogy.

Air: Every episode of season 15 of supernatural has been like a pot of spaghetti and meatballs. And someone, every episode, is tossing the spaghetti up and catching it in the bowl. Up and down and up and down, until this episode. Because this time, the spaghetti hit the ceiling fan and went everywhere. So now there's spaghetti and sauce all over the ceiling, the walls, the floor, you, the WHOLE WORLD IS DESTROYED, and you're sitting on the floor crying because there's spaghetti everywhere, you'll never get the sauce stains out of your clothes, and oh- you hate spaghetti.

Joy:.........

Joy: Oh.

Air: BUT LET'S NOT WORRY ABOUT MY PAIN TODAY BECAUSE IT'S HALLOWEEN ON A FULL MOON!

Rainkeeper: WOOHOO!!!

*Hosts disappear*

*players appear*

Sunny: Spooky, scary, skeletons, send shivers down your spine....

*large door crashes down*

Players: *scream*

Meerkat: WHAT IS THAT!?!?!

Winter: It's a door, dumbass.

Sunny: *hits Winter*

All: *gasps*

Sunny:.........What?

Winter: You hit me....

Sunny:...Well everyone else has before!

Winter: But not you!

Winter: I feel so hurt!

Sunny: Well I'm SORRY, but you insulted Meerkat!

Winter: *starts crying* I can't believe you.

Qibli: *hugs Winter*

Qibli: What have you done?

Sunny: I'M SORRY!

Tsunami: MOVING ON. What's with the door?

Clay: I don't know.... *knocks on the door*

*door slot opens*

Joy: WHO SENT YOU?

Clay: AH! Wait what?

Joy: WHO SENT YOU.

Clay: Um....You? And the hosts? You summoned us?

Glory: I think they're trying to pull a reference to something.

Moon: Obviously.

Glory: Well if it's so OBVIOUS then what's the gag, genius?

Moon: I have no idea.

Peril: Well, it must be Halloween related since it's Halloween....

Turtle: Halloween door?

Kinkajou: Oh! I know! TRICK OR TREAT!!!

*door slot opens*

Air: Good guess, but not the gag we're going for. Here's a hint though!

Air: *slaps a picture to the outside of the door*

Picture:

Clay: Is that Donald Trump?

Starflight: *facetalons*

Starflight: It's Boris Johnson, Clay.

Clay: Oh. I have no idea who that is.

Kinkajou: I DO! HE WOULDN'T GIVE MY SLOTH A JOB!

Glory: Honey, I think he only hires humans.

Kinkajou: WELL THAT'S MEAN.

Amber: What does old Boris have to do with a Halloween door?

Deathbringer: *gasps* WAIT I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT!

Riptide: Enlighten us.

Deathbringer: *starts humming*

Deathbringer: And my monster mash was the hit of the land, but for you, the living this mash was mean too-

Deathbringer: YES THAT'S IT!

Deathbringer: WHEN YOU GET TO THE DOOR, TELL THEM BORIS SENT YOU!

*door opens*

Joy: Took you long enough.

Carnelian: What are we doing now?

Joy: *grins*

Joy: Welcome to the Treehouse of horror. By stepping through this door, you will tell a terrifying tale entirely taken from one of our favorite Simpsons Treehouse of Horror Halloween Specials. Enter, but beware....

Glory: Well then I'm staying here.

Amber/Carnelian: SAME! OMM JINX, YOU OWE ME A SODA! NOOO, YOU OWE ME A SODA. WAIT.

Winter: We get it, you're best friends for some unknown reason, SPARE US!

Clay: I'm sure it can't be THAT bad. *walks in*

Peril: Clay NO!

TIME AND PUNISHMENT

STARRING CLAY

https://youtu.be/4u7R0m_7SQM

Clay: You know, Peril, I've had my share of troubles. But sitting here with you and our friends in our cozy home in this beautiful, free country, makes me feel like I'm a lucky guy.

Sunny: CLAY! Your hand is jammed in the toaster!

Clay: Wh-What? *screams* Get it off! Get it off! Get this off of me! *bangs his toaster hand all over the room until it comes off, then sink to the floor*

Tsunami: Clay, it's in there again!

Clay: What? No! it's stuck on my hand! *screams*

Later...

Clay: *staring at the broken toaster* This shouldn't be hard to fix...with the right tools.

*He hits the back of the toaster with a rock, which opens it up. A few seconds later, he completely rebuilds it with a brand new back.*

Clay: There, better than new. (he puts the back on) Now, time to take it for a test toast. (He inserts the toast, only for it to zap him away. He screams as he falls past several clocks.) Look at that, I'm the first non-Brazilian person to travel backwards through time!

(Mr. Peabody and Sherman appear right beside him).

Mr. Peabody: Correction, Clay. You're the second.

Sherman: That's right, Mr. Peabody.

Peabody: Quiet, you.

(Clay lands in the prehistoric era, and gasps at the sight of the dinosaurs.)

Clay: I've gone back to the time where dinosaurs weren't just confined to zoos!! (a pterodactyl flies right by and he screams) Okay. Don't panic! Remember the advice your father gave on your wedding day.

Dune: If you ever travel back in time, don't step on anything, because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you can't imagine...

Clay: Fine. As long as I stand perfectly still and don't touch anything, I won't destroy the future! (a fly spins right around him) Stupid bug! You go squish now! (He kills the fly).... But That was just one little insignificant mosquito! I not going to affect the future, right? Right? (a sloth behind him groans. The toast from the toaster pops up, sending him back to his time)

Clay: *appears in the basement, and walks back upstairs*

Clay: Oh, my loving family. Nothing's changed.

(the rest of the family goes to the middle of the room where a giant TV comes out of the floor)

Ochre: Hi-diddly-ho, slave-a-reenos.

All: Okilly-Dokilly.

Clay: Hey, what the hell is that geek Ochre doing on TV?

(an alarm blares).

Ochre: I see by the big board we've got a Negative Nelly in Sector Two. I'm gonna have to ask the whole family to freeze, and prepare for a re-Neducation.

Tsunami: Don't you remember, Clay? Ochre is the unquestioned lord and master of the world!

Clay: D'OH!

(the house is then shaken by a truck, taking it to the Re-Neducation center. Inside the facility, people are sitting in chairs)

Ochre: Okay, everyone, lets see some big smiles! (hooks grab the sides of their faces) Just relax and let the hooks do their work.

 Clay: *looks at the dragon next to him* What the hell are you smiling at?

Ochre: Now, in case all that smiling didn't cheer you up there's one thing that never fails; A nice glass of warm milk, a little nap....and a total frontal lobotomy!

Clay: *freaks out*

Meerkat: It's not so bad, Clay. They go in through your nose, and they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out! Look. *taps on the jar with a bit of his brain in it* Ooh! Hello. Hello there. Who's that big man there? Who's that?

Tsunami/Sunny: Join us, Claaaaayyyy.

Peril: It's... bliss.....

Clay: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(he runs away with dogs coming after him)

Clay: Oh, no, They're gaining on me. Wait! I have an idea! These wieners will give me the quick energy I need to escape! *pulls out sausage, eats it and runs faster*

Clay: I gotta go back! Fix future! *he hits the toaster and goes back to the Jurassic era*

Clay: This time I'm not gonna touch a thing!

(a T-Rex roars; he screams and runs away)

Clay: *leaping over things, careful to avoid everything* Mustn't crush, mustn't kill, made it! *he sighs in relief and sits on a fish* Oh, I wish, I wish I hadn't killed that fish....

(toaster pops up; Clay is sent back to basement; he exits and checks the kitchen)

Clay: Hey, where is everybody?

(giant versions of  Tsunami and Sunny tear off the roof)

Tsunami: Hey, there's a bug that looks like Clay! Let's kill it.

Sunny: Okay!

(Clay screams and runs back in the basement)

(back in the Jurassic, a T-Rex roars in Clay's face)

Clay: *sneezes*

(The T-Rex sneezes and falls dead; followed by the other dinosaurs)

Clay: This is gonna cost me.....

(back in the basement...)

Clay: *slowly opens the door and sees his family in a nice looking home*

Clay: D'oh! I mean, hey...

Tsunami: Good morning, Clay, dear. I hope you're well.

Sunny: Are we taking the Lexus to Aunt Patty and Selma's funeral today?

Clay: Hmmmmmm. Fabulous house, well-behaved siblings, sisters-in-law dead, luxury sedan, I hit the jackpot! Peril, dear, would you kindly pass me a doughnut?

Peril: Doughnut? What's a doughnut?

Clay: *screams*

Clay: *screams again and runs back to the basement in horror*

(Outside, doughnuts fall from the sky).

Peril: Oh, it's raining again.

(Toaster shifts again)

(Clay opens the door and sees Starflight.

Starflight: You're still not in your own world, Clay! I can get you home, but you have to do exactly as I-- *an ax stabs him in the back and he falls dead*

Glory: *holding the end of the ax*This is indeed a disturbing universe.

Clay: (back in the Jurassic once again, but with a bat).

Clay: "Don't touch anything?" I'll TOUCH WHATEVER I FEEL LIKE!!!!

Clay: *smashes all the plants and bugs around him, causing the house in the present day to change into various houses, including The Flintstones' house*.

(meanwhile, in outer space...)

Ander: Foolish earthling, totally unprepared for the effects of time travel.

(Ander and Ray laugh; Homer's constant changing of the past causes them to turn into Mr. Peabody & Sherman)

Sherman: What happened to us, Ander?

Peabody: Quiet, you.

(back in the present day...)

(Clay exits the basement and sees..)

Peril: Good morning, dear.

Clay: *grabs her, looking insane* What's my name? What color is the sky?? What of doughnuts??? WHAT???? For the love of the moons, tell me!

Peril: CLAY, the sky is blue, doughnuts are plentiful, Friday is TGIF night on ABC! What's gotten into you?

Clay:......Nothing. Nothing at all. Let's just eat....

All: *sits down to eat, but their tongues are all now like reptiles)

Clay:.........

Clay: Eh, close enough. (eats breakfast)

Nightflyer: And that is why you should never mess with the effects of time travel.

Seashell: *puts on a Peabody Halloween Costume*

Seashell: Quiet, you.

Air: *gasps* IS IT HALLOWEEN COSTUME TIME???

Seashell: Obviously. I'm Peabody. What's everyone else dressing up as?

Hosts: *throw on their costumes*

Air: I'M CHARLIE BRADBURY!

Nightflyer: I'm Achmed from Twisted: The Story of a Royal Vizier.

Joy: Who?

Nightflyer: NO ONE RE-MEM-BERS ACH-MED-

Rainkeeper: I'm Bob Ross. *puts on afro wig*

Kelp: I'm Frank Iero.

Joy: Which naturally makes me Gerard Way.

Seashell: Really?

Joy: Really what?

Seashell: I don't know, I thought you'd go for something more....

Joy: Scary?

Seashell: Yeah.

Joy: I'm scary year round. And besides, Kelp wanted to match.

Air: Well now that that's settled, let's do the next special!

THE SHINNING

STARRING TURTLE AND WINTER

https://youtu.be/rpu4QEYZQWg

https://youtu.be/JUY6K_gI8ew

The Jade Winglet drives on a mountain to a mansion.

TUESDAY.

Winter: Well, it was a long trip, but we're almost there.

Moon: Winter, did you remember to lock the front door to the house?

Winter: D'oh!

WEDNESDAY.

Winter: Well it's been two long trips, but we're finally almost there again.

Moon: Winter, when you remembered to lock the front door, did you remember to lock the back door?

Winter: D'oh! D'oh!

THURSDAY.

Winter: *pissed off*

Kinkajou: Oh no! we left Carnelian back at the gas station!

*silence as they keep driving*

Kinkajou:......What about Carnelian?

(The car stops in front of the mansion)

Joy: The sea monkeys I have ordered have arrived. Look at them cavort and caper.

Nightflyer: Sir, they're the new caretakers for the lodge.

Joy: Yes, they work hard, and they play hard.

****

Joy: This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and was also the setting for Satanic rituals, witch burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.

Winter: *shudders*John Denver....

All: *stops in front of the elevator*

(A large pool of blood shoots out of the elevator)

Joy: That's odd. Usually, the blood gets off at the second floor.

*****

Amber: *by a large hedge maze, carefully trimming it*

(A chainsaw cuts through the maze.)

Turtle: *holding the chainsaw* Hey, I found a shortcut through your hedge maze.

Amber: WHY YOU LITTLE- (thinking) No, no, go easy on the wee one. His father will go crazy, and chop them all into haggis.

Turtle: What's "haggis"?

Amber: *gasps* Boy, you've read my thoughts! You've got the shinning!

Turtle: You mean shining-

Amber: SSSHHH!!! Do you want to get sued??? Now look boy, if your dad goes gaga, you use that... "shin" of yours to call me and I'll come a-running. But don't read my mind between 4 and 5! That's Amber's time!

*****

Nightflyer: *cuts a wire *

Joy: Yes, by cutting off cable TV, and the beer supply, I can ensue an honest winter's work out of those lowlifes.

Nightflyer: Uh, sir, did you ever think that maybe it was doing this that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?

Joy: Perhaps..... Tell you what, we come back and everyone's slaughtered, I owe you a Coke.

****

Winter: *turns on the TV, but all that comes up is colorful static*

Winter: Hmm. Cable's out. Think I'll have a beer. (He goes to the fridge and opens the door) Not a drop in the house. What do you know.

Moon: Winter, I'm impressed! You're taking this quite well.

Winter: I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!

Moon: Winter!

Winter: Sorry! Sorry. Don't worry. There's plenty I can do to keep occupied. Maybe I'll check out that axe collection.....See you later.

Kinkajou: Moon, is Winter going to kill us?

Moon: *shrugs* We're just gonna wait and see.

****

(Winter is in a bar. Qibli appears out of nowhere.)

Qibli: So, Winter, what will it be?

Winter: QIBLI! Give me a beer!

Qibi: No. Not unless you kill your family.

Winter: Why should I kill my family?

Qibli: Whey'd be much happier as ghosts.

Winter: You don't look so happy.

Qibli: Oh, I'm happy! I'm very happy, lalalalalalalalala, see? Now waste your family, and I'll give you a beer.

***

(Moon walks in a dark room)

Moon: Winter? Winnie? *she sees a typewriter* What he's typed might be a window into his madness..... (She slowly walks up to the typewriter) 

Moon: "Feelin' fine" Well, that's a relief. (A flash of lightning strikes, revealing "No TV and No Beer make Winter Go Crazy" all over the walls) 

Moon:....This is less encouraging. 

(Winter appears and she screams)

Winter: What do you think, Moon? All I need is a title. I was thinking along the lines of No TV and No Beer Make Winter... something, something.

Moon: Go Crazy? 

Winter: DON'T MIND IF I DO!!! BLAABBLBLBLU! UHBLOBOBLOBOLOBLA! AH-OH, AH-OH, AH-OH! VORP, VORP! HADABADA! AHOHOHOHO!

Moon: *screams and runs away*

Moon: *she stops in front of a glass case with a bat in it, breaks the glass and takes the bat*

Moon: Stay away from me, Winter!

Winter: Give me the bat, Moon! Give me the bat. Give me the bat! Come on. Give me the bat. Give me the bat-ba-bo-bo-baluluuluulu. Heh-Heh-Heh. Scaredy cat. LERRRR~!! (he turns to the mirror, screams, and falls down the stairs)

Moon: *drags him into the pantry*

Moon: You stay in here until you're no longer insane. *sees a can and takes it* Hmm, chili would be good tonight. *leaves*

(Winter then wakes up, no longer insane. He starts eating. A knock is then heard on the door)

Qibli: Winter? it's Qibli. Listen, some of the ghouls and I think that project isn't moving forward fast enough.

Winter: Can't murder now. Eating.

Qibli: Oh, for crying out loud-

(Qibli and his gang of ghouls drag out Winter against his will)

Winter: NOOOOOOOOO!

****

(The rest of the family is eating dinner)

Winter: *takes an axe and starts violently chopping a hole in the door before sticking his face through it*

Winter: HEEEEEEEERRRREEE'S JOHNNY

*The room is empty*

Winter: D'oh! 

Winter: *takes an axe to a second door* DAAAAVIIID LETTERMAN!

(Carnelian is the only one in the room)

Carnelian: Hi David, I'm Carnelian.

Winter: D'oh!

(He chops down a third door. He carries a watch while his head is in the door, completely insane)

Winter: I'M MIKE WALLACE, I'M MORTY SAFER, AND I'M ED BRADLEY! ALL THIS AND ANDY ROONEY TONIGHT ON 60 MINUTES!!!

Moon/Kinkajou/Turtle: *screams and runs away*

Moon: *calls the police* HELLO??? POLICE? this is Marge Simpson. My husband is on a murderous rampage! Over.

Rainkeeper: Well, thank God that's over. I was worried there for a second. *ignores it*

Moon: No answer!

Turtle: Don't worry, Moon. I can use my... "shinning"... to call Amber. (He makes an angry face)

(Amber is in his cabin watching the news on a portable TV)

Kelp:...And that was the first time she'd ever flown a plane.

Amber: Uh oh. The little fat boy and his family are in trouble. I'm coming to rescue the lot of you! *runs into the mansion, ditching his portable TV in the snow* All right loony, show me what you've got! 

Winter: *comes right behind her and stabs her with the axe*

Amber: Ugh, is that the best you can do? *falls down dead*

Moon: Oh, my. I hope the rug was Scotchgarded.

Winter: *pulls the axe out of Amber* Must kill family..... 

Moon/Kinkajou/Turtle: *scream and run into the snow*

Winter: *chases after them*

Kinkajou: *falls and sees Amber's TV*

Kelp: ...The troops had gun rifles, but there was no ammunition. Fortunately, there was a hardware store...

Winter: *raises axe over Kinkajou*

Kinkajou: *holds up the TV* Winter, look! TV!!!

Winter: Aah! *grabs it and drops the axe* Teacher! Mother! Secret lover....*he drops into the snow*....Urge to kill...fading...fading...fading...

Moon/Kinkajou/Turtle: *step towards him*

Winter: RISING!

Moon/Kinkajou/Turtle: *freeze*

Winter:....fading...fading...gone.

All: *sigh in relief*

Winter: Come, family... Sit here in the snow with Winter and let us bask in television's warm, glowing, warming glow.

All: *sits in the snow and watches TV*

House later....

All: *frozen in ice from the cold*

Kelp: And now, it's the Tony Awards, with your hosts, Tyne Daily and Hal Linden!

Turtle: Winter, change the channel!

Winter:...CAN'T....FROZEN!

All: *screams*

Winter:....Urge to kill...rising...

Joy: Ah the Simpsons. There's nothing they can't do.

Air: Or predict.

Kelp: Anyways....

Hosts: HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!!

Rainkeeper: EAT CANDY!

Nightflyer: BE SAFE!

Air: DRESS IN AN AWESOME COSTUME!

Seashell: TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS!

Joy: SUMMON SATAN!

Kelp: DON'T DO THAT!

Joy: Why not?

Kelp: Because it's 2020, and it'll probably work.

Joy: True, true....

Joy: SUMMON A HARMLESS DEMON.

Kelp: There we go.

A/N: HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!!