https://youtu.be/-77cUxba-aA

Rainkeeper: Alright, I got one.

Air: Then let's hear it!

Rainkeeper: A man walks into a zoo. The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. 

Rainkeeper: It's a shitzu.

Air: *bursts out laughing*

Kelp: Eh, I've heard better.

Rainkeeper: Fine, then you tell one, wise guy.

Kelp: Fine.

Kelp: A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her front pocket and thinks "Some asshole has my pen."

Hosts: *laughing even harder*

Joy: WAIT WAIT, I'VE GOT ONE.

Joy: Three vampires walk into a bar-

Kelp: Oh, I know this one, this is hilarious.

Joy: The bartender comes over to ask what they would like. The first replies "A pint of blood, please." The second nods and says "A pint for me too, thanks." The bartender turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire replies "Just a cup of hot water, thanks."

Kelp: *already giggling*

Joy: Confused, the bartender asks why he's not having blood like the other two. The vampire pulls out a tampon and says "I'm making tea."

*players appear*

Hosts: *losing their shit*

Carnelian: I would ask what's so funny, but I don't honestly care.

Qibli: They're probably just remembering some time they caused us great horrible pain.

Winter: Facts.

Nightflyer: That moment when you were babysitting for ten hours straight so you forgot it was an update day and the only thing your remaining braincell knows anymore is zombie pigmen from Minecraft.

Joy: Did you know that if you tie a pig to a lead in minecraft, and drop it over the side of a ledge, it'll bounce forever and not die?

Joy: Also TNT. That ten year old LOVED TNT.

Kelp: So much energy....I wanna sleep.

Rainkeeper: We all wanna sleep.

Seashell: But I'm afraid there's NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN.

*Kevin hits a guitar in the background*

Air: We're working on his musical skills.

Kelp: *starts crying* Tam was so good at music.

Joy: HIS TALENT WAS SO WASTED IN THE GROCERY STORE.

Rainkeeper: He could've been great. But no.....Instead we're stuck with whatever garbage the rappers of today are.

Nightflyer: This kid was listing rappers he knew, and we didn't know a single one. Not. ONE.

Nightflyer: We are too young to be this out of touch with the trends and popular stuff of today. 

Air: No, we're just CULTURED IN THE WAYS OF MUSIC, AND WE DON'T LISTEN TO GARBAGE.

Joy: Speaking of garbage, we need Turtle to sing.

Kinkajou: BITCVH-

Joy: Meaning that his family thinks he's garbage. I don't. Turtle is underrated.

Kinkajou: .........*narrows eyes* Thin freakin ice.

Turtle: Heel, Kinkajou, it's fine. I am garbage to my family.

Kelp: Yeah well I'm technically family so I'm here to say that EVERYONE IN GARBAGE TO CORAL, AND YOU AIN'T TRASH TURTLE.

Joy: Macaw is trash.

Air: Guys stop, we're insulting the trash can that Qibli is shipped with.

Qibli: I identify as Trashcan-sexual, which is why I like Winter so much.

Winter: I'm whatever sexuality means I can't date you.

Moon: I'm moron-sexual because I put up with these idiots.

Amber: Can I be skittle-sexual?

Carnelian:.........I want to say no, but honestly I think you are so....

Turtle: What am I singing?

Rainkeeper: Oh don't say the title, Nightflyer will lose i-

Joy: Twisted by Missio

Nightflyer: Twisted? As in Twisted: The Story of a Royal Vizier? As in the epic Aladdin/Disney parody musical by Starkid-

Air: Oh boy.

Nightflyer: LITTLE TOOOOWN, FULL OF LITTLE PEOPLE, WAKING UP TOOOO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY,

Nightflyer: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU. FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU- FUCK YOU JAFAR.

Nightflyer: Oh I'm terribly sorry-

Joy: That's alright, just keep your fat face out of that motherfucking book.

Rainkeeper: Why is the kingdom plagued by theft?

Air: Why are there no good jobs left?

Kelp: Why does the sun go down at night?

Nightflyer: Why is EVERYONE IN THE KINGDOM WHITE?

Kelp: And if you're ever in doubt, just remember this song-

Joy: A SONG IS A DICK IN SHEEP'S CLOTHING.

Kelp: There was a magic kingdom that prospered through its commitment to two simple ideals: Duy and Devotion.

Joy: The two D's.

Nightflyer: NO ONE REMEMBERS ACHMED.

Joy: You mean the dead terrorist-

Nightflyer: NO, THE TIGERFUCKER.

Winter: What the hell.

Hosts: TIGERFUCKER, TIGERFUCKER, TIGERFUCKER, ACHMED, THE TIGER FUCKING MAAAAANNNNNN

Nightflyer: NO.

Players:........

Moon: I'm starting to think Starkid isn't some Nightwing friend of yours.

Nightflyer: I wish. But I do know that I will force Joey Richter to officiate my wedding.

Air: You have to propose for that to happen, dumb dumb.

Rainkeeper: Or you could propose to him.

Air: Nightflyer is a romantic. He would plan an entire week of events and a six minute speech leading up to a proposal. I'd just write 'wanna get hitched?' in dirt and hope he see it eventually.

Rainkeeper: Okay nevermind.

Joy: Turtle sing before Nightflyer starts a song from Twisted!

Turtle: Got it.

Nightflyer: I WAS ORPHANED AAAAAAAAAATTT 33.

Rainkeeper: *screams* GO GO GO

Air: *hits play on boombox*

*music starts*

Turtle: My mother, she told me
"Don't get in trouble"
My father, he told me
He knew I wouldMy brothers, they told me
"Don't give a damn"
My sister, she told me
To do something goodI'm uncontrollable, emotional, chaotically proportional
I'm visceral, reloadable
I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazyEverybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twistedMy mother, she told me
"Don't be a quitter"
My father, he told me
He knew I wasMy brothers, they told me
"Do what you do"
My sister, she told me
To do something goodI'm uncontrollable, emotional, chaotically proportional
I'm visceral, reloadable
I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazyEverybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twistedMy mother, she told me
My father, he told me
I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazy, I'm crazyEverybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted
Everybody in the world knows I'm a little twisted, twisted

Kinkajou: *screeches*

Kinkajou: YOU'RE SUCH AN ANGSTY BABY I JUST-

Kinkajou: *grabs Turtle, rolls him up in a blanket and sets him back down*

Turtle: What-

Kinkajou: You have to be a happy sushi roll now. By order of me.

Turtle:.......Okay. *sinks further into sushi roll*

Air: *holds up Turtlejou t-shirt*

Air: TURTLEJOU MERCH! GET YOUR TURTLEJOU MERCH HERE!

Nightflyer: Why don't we have merch?

Seashell: Do YOU know how merch is made?

Nightflyer: No.

Seashell: Yeah me neither, and I'm too lazy and poor to figure it out.

Nightflyer: Fair enough.

Joy: That was actually a pretty good song.

Kelp: *coughs* grandson is better than missio *coughs*

Air: Do you know anything about either of those artists?

Kelp: Nope, but grandson is better. I blame GirlWarriorX

Joy: They've corrupted you.

Joy: Then again, they've corrupted me too, so have some tea.

Kelp/Joy: *clink teacups and sip tea*

Carnelian:........I can't tell if you guys have one of those relationships where it's just Joy manipulating Kelp and him being okay with it, or if Joy's just a psycho and Kelp doesn't care or if you're both just insane and most likely mentally unstable psychopaths.

Kelp: I'm a high functioning sociopath. Do your research.

Joy: Don't try to define our relationship on any other terms besides 'perfection' and 'relationship goals'.

Air: Stop. Get some Jelp.

Rainkeeper: That's honestly one of the best memes to come out of these books.

Air: And to everyone still commenting on that Supernatural reference comment thread, 

Air: *sniffles* I'm so proud. Have a meme.