Kelp: *bouncing with excitement* BE!

Air: *also bouncing* SUPER!

Kelp/Air: G-

Nightflyer: *slams through Kelp and Air like they're a pair of doors*

Kelp/Air: *rocks back and forth like a pair of doors clicking shut*

Nightflyer: LAUREN LOPEZ AND JOEY RICHTER ARE ENGAGED AND HAVE APPARENTLY BEEN DATING FOR 8 YEARS AND I AM LOSING MY SHIT!

Seashell: I don't know who those people are. Clarify.

Nightflyer:......DRACO MALFOY AND RON WEASLEY FROM A VERY POTTER MUSICAL ARE ENGAGED. THAT'S LIKE RUPERT GRINT AND TOM FELTON GETTING MARRIED. LIKE WTF AND WHY DO I APPROVE?!?!!?

Joy: Oooohhhhh THOSE TWO ARE GETTING MARRIED? OMM. THEY ARE SUCH A POWER COUPLE WHY AM I ONLY LEARNING OF THEIR EXISTENCE NOW.

Nightflyer: I KNOW RIGHT?!?!?!

Kelp/Air: *glaring at everyone*

Nightflyer: But! I interrupted, Air, Kelp, you were going to say something?

Kelp: I keep getting in-

Seashell: SO GET THIS!

Air: Why. Why must you pull an interrupting moose now.

Kelp: *screeches* MICHAEL SHEEN AKA CINNAMON ROLL ANGEL AZIRAPHALE FROM GOOD OMENS AND MISHA COLLINS AKA CINNAMON ROLL ANGEL FROM SUPERNATURAL HAVE TEAMED UP TO DO A CHARITY FUNDRAISER TO HELP HOMELESS PEOPLE AND NOT ONLY ARE MICHAEL SHEEN AND MISHA COLLINS THE GREATEST CROSSOVER OF ANYTHING EVER, BUT THE MERCH THEY'RE SELLING FOR CHARITY IS REALLY FREAKING COOL AND YOU SHOULD ALL GO BUY SOME OR AT LEAST WATCH THEIR LIVESTREAM CAUSE IT WAS AMAZING.

https://youtu.be/ziSlVvqxMYU

Air: MICHAEL SHEEN WORE CASTIEL COSPLAY. I'M DYING.

Kelp: *screams* GOOD OMENS!

Air: *screams* SUPERNATURAL! 

Kelp/Air: *scream and bounce around in a circle together*

Joy:............

Nightflyer:............

Joy: I don't know how to feel about this new friendship.

Nightflyer: I say we lay back, let their insanity run its course, and raid Rainkeeper's liquor supply and make margaritas.

Joy: We could do that, then with Rainkeeper we could recreate all the Merdur Moms tiktoks.

Nightflyer: This is why we're friends.

*players appear*

Kinkajou: I feel like it's been awhile since we've been here.

Joy: Eh, not really.

Sunny: So how's the scavenger world doing?

Joy: Still shitty.

Rainkeeper: Very shitty.

Seashell: We're getting a hurricane right now, so that's fun. 

Air: Hey Clay, you like food, right?

Clay: *wearing a T-shirt that says I <3 food*

Clay: *gasps* How did you know???

Nightflyer: *slowly facepalms*

Air: Well, I was going through our spice cabinet, and I don't know what this is, can you try it?

Clay: Of course!

Peril: Clay, I don't think you should-

Starflight: Taking anything from these guys is about as trustworthy as gas station sushi-

Turtle: It's like accepting candy from a guy in a van with tinted windows, you DON'T DO IT-

Clay: *eats it*

All:.........

Glory: *facepalms* You're such a fucking idiot.

Clay: Well it' definitely some kind of sal-AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Air: Oh, salt, got it, thanks!

Clay: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! 

Tsunami: What did you DO to him???

Rainkeeper: The same thing we're going to do to all of you.

Joy: *force feeds the salt to all the players*

Players: *freaking out*

Joy: It's ghost pepper salt. VERY spicy.

Sunny: *starts crying*

Sunny: MY TONGUE IS IN SO MUCH PAIN!

Clay: IT'S LIKED I LICKED PERIL! AGH-

Peril: You say that like you haven't licked me before.

Clay: I WANTED TO SEE IF YOU TASTED LIKE ROASTED DRAGON SINCE YOU'RE LITERALLY A ROASTED DRAGON!

Peril: Clay either way THAT'S CANNIBALISM.

Clay: AND IT HURT THEN AND IT HURTS NOOOWWWWWW!!!!

Peril: Then you should be LEARNING FROM THIS!

Riptide: HOW ARE YOU NOT DYING RIGHT NOW?!?!!?

Peril: I'm on fire all the time. My taste buds are very well accustomed to heat. But I thought it had good flavor. 

Joy: I know, right? *puts ghost pepper salt on chicken wings and eats them*

Meerkat: *watches in pained horror* 

Meerkat: You ARE a psychopath.

Kinkajou: I'M GONNA CUT OFF MY TONGUE.

Turtle: KINKAJOU NO.

Kinkajou: IT HURTS, TURTLE. IT BUUURRRRNNNS. I'M GONNA CUT OFF MY TONGUE TO STOP THE PAIN!

Winter: Good, then we won't have to hear you talk anymore.

Turtle:......*punches Winter*

Winter: THAT HURT MORE THAN THE SALT YOU ASSHOLE *lunges at Turtle*

Qibli: *coughing, voice hoarse* IT reminds me of the flavors of the food in the Sandwing kingdom, only.....A LOT STRONGER.

Carnelian: I DON'T DO WELL WITH HOT FOODS AAAAHHHHHH!!

Deathbringer: Based on what happened in the History cave, I'd say you don't do well with hot anything.

Carnelian:.......*grabs the salt and throws it in Deathbringer's eyes*

Deathbringer: *high pitched pained screaming*

Deathbringer: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *rubs eyes* 

Deathbringer: *screams twice as loud*

Moon: *face is swelling up and looking red and itchy*

Moon: I think I'm allergic to the salt.

Tsunami: STARFLIGHT, YOU'RE THE SMART ONE, WHAT HELPS WITH SPICY FOOD?!?!?

Starflight: *screeches*

Fatespeaker: Juice? JUICE HELPS RIGHT? *chugs juice*

*burning intensifies*

Fatespeaker: *shrieks*

Hosts: *calmly watching everyone flail about over the spiciness*

Kelp: Hey Joy, can I have a chicken wing?

Joy: With salt or without?

Kelp: Without, please.

Joy: Here you go.

Air: I'll take one Luci with extra salt please.

Nightflyer: NO you won't.

Air: Why nooootttttt?

Nightflyer: You've summoned Satan enough this week.

Air: Just because I summoned him once to have a tea party DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE A PROBLEM-

Nightflyer: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM.

Amber: *crying and eating Skittles in a failed attempt to numb the pain*

Riptide: *has gone underwater because water soothes it a little*

Turtle/Winter: *still beating the shit out of each other*

Kinkajou: *cutting off her tongue*

Moon: *choking on the floor cause her throat swelled up and can't breathe*

Fatespeaker: *licks the walls in a last ditch attempt to ease the pain*

Nightflyer: HEY! WE HAVE A RULE ABOUT THAT!

Rainkeeper: Don't make me tap the sign!

Rainkeeper: *taps sign that says NO LICKING THE WALLS*

Glory: *chugging milk from the carton like a smart dragon would*

Deathbringer: I CAN'T SEE. THE SALT BURNED OUT MY EYES. I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND-

Starflight: Join the club.  

Deathbringer: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! I HATE HAVING THINGS IN COMMON WITH STARFLIGHT!!

Starflight: I understand.

Kelp: How long do we let this go on for?

Rainkeeper: As long as it needs to.

*one hour later*

All: *pain from salt has passed*

Deathbringer: *can barely see, has burns around his eyes*

Kinkajou: *has a bandaged nub of a tongue, is still in extreme pain*

Turtle: *beaten half to death, 100% done*

Hosts:........

Rainkeeper: All we did was give you a spicy food, and in under two hours, two of you are permanently disfigured and two of you are DEAD.

Turtle: I take the blame for killing Winter, but I will not apologize.

Qibli: Seeing as Kinkajou still cut out her tongue, I'd say Winter won this round.

Turtle: I disagree.

Rainkeeper: ALL WE DID WAS GIVE YOU SALT.

Carnelian: And your point is?

Kelp: Maybe you should stop blaming us for everything. Everything bad that happened to you today was your own fault.

Players:...........

Amber: MOON IS DEAD.

Air: And?

Amber: SHE DIED OF AN ALLERGIC REACTION.

Nightflyer: We know, I signed the death certificate.

Amber: YOU GAVE HER THE SALT.

Seashell: Not our fault she didn't list 'ghost pepper salt' on her list of allergens. We do check those.

Deathbringer: We still hate you.

Tsunami: Somehow it's still all your fault.

Sunny: You should've known better that to trust us with salt.

Hosts:.........

Nightflyer: Well now you're just bad dragons.

Players: *scream in rage and lunge at the hosts*

Hosts: *nope out of the room*