Hosts: *stare at the audience*

Nightflyer: Sooooooo

Seashell: Hiiiiiii

Rainkeeper: Been awhile....

Kelp: And we have SO MANY EXCUSES-

Joy: But I think Air can explain it all. Air?

Air: *heavy breathing*

Air: *drops pictures*

Air: I.

Air: Met.

Air: EVERYONE.

Air: *feral screams*

Air: DO YOU SEE ME??? DO YOU SEE THE LITTLE RED DRAGON, THAT'S ME GUYS I'M IN A PICTURE WITH- I MET- I- *distressed screaming*

Nightflyer: That's it, that's where we've been, emotional recovery was needed, that is all, let's get back into the game, folks.

Joy: That is definitely not all.

Air: *hyperventilating in excitement*

Nightflyer: Well maybe if we actually update, we can tell them more things.

Joy: Yeah, world's been busy since we've last been here.

*players appear*

Qibli: Oh dear god no, I thought we were free.

Moon: *falls and cries*

Moon: WE WERE SO CLOSE TO BEING FREE

Kelp: THERE IS NO FREEDOM IN TRUTH OR DARE.

Joy: THERE IS ONLY PAIN.

Seashell: But there is burnout, and it's hella effective at killing your writing AND your update schedules.

Nightflyer: So is college.

Rainkeeper: And getting attacked by a dog.

Turtle: Wait....we're not getting attacked by a dog, are we?

Joy: No, but our scavenger author did an hour before pre-registration for Supernatural con.

Air: NOT EVEN THE WOUNDS OF BATTLE COULD KEEP US FROM JENSEN ACKLES.

Joy: Can't tell if the Joy Squad should kill the dog or recruit it...

Kelp: I thought you didn't hurt dogs.

Joy: Yes, but this one made our scavenger author need stitches sooooo

Joy: I'll let you guys decide.

Air: WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT DOGS, I MET JENSEN ACKLES

Air: AND JARED PADALECKI. AND RUTH CONNELL. AND ROB BENEDICT. AND DJ QUALLS. AND JULIAN RICHINGS. AND KIM RHODES. AND LOUDEN SWAIN. AND MARK PELLEGRINO. AND THE CAR. AND MISHA COLLINS. AND OH MY GOD-

Nightflyer: Breathe, Air, BREATHE-

Air: IDON'TKNOWHOWTOBREATHEIFORGOT-

Seashell: ANYWAYS. DARES. DARES ARE A THING WE SHOULD BE DOING.

Joy: Today's is a weird one. *starts handing out pointy ten foot poles*

Rainkeeper: And an old one, this has been sitting in the Jar of Sorrow for awhile.

Kelp: All hail the jar of sorrow.

Joy: *hands a pole to all players but Moon*

Winter: Wait. Hold up. WE get the pointy weapons for once?

Kinkajou: Is it opposite day?

Nightflyer: no.

Kinkajou:.....But that's what you'd tell me if it WAS Opposite Day.

Nightflyer: Then....yes?

Kinkajou: HELP I CONFUSED MYSELF, IS IT OPPOSITE DAY OR NOT?

Turtle: It doesn't matter, just don't accidentally poke yourself, these things are sharp.

Carnelian: Turtle did you accidentally poke yourself?

Turtle: *hides his bleeding talon*

Turtle: NO.

Moon: W-why didn't I get a pole?

Hosts:..........

Players:...............

Luna/Swordtail in the closet:..................

Joy: I think you know why.

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Players are on the edge of a cliff overlooking a pit of fire*

Moon: WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE LIKE THIS?!?!?!

Nightflyer: Why was it dared is the question you SHOULD be asking!

Rainkeeper: Alright guys, so you're gonna stab Moon from all sides-

Winter: WHAT!!!

Qibli: NO WAY!!!

Kinkajou: I WOULD RATHER JAB MYSELF!!!

Carnelian: Can I start?

Amber: CARNELIAN!!!

Carnelian: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? SHE'S ANNOYING!

Kinkajou: YOU'RE ANNOYING!

Carnelian: I know you are, but what am I?

Kinkajou: ANNOYING!

Carnelian: I know you are, but what am I?

Kinkajou: DEAD.

Carnelian:.......I'M GONNA JAB YOU NEXT.

Turtle: I wish Carnelian would jab herself in the eye.

Carnelian: *stabs herself in the eye and screams*

Turtle: HAHAHAHAHA-

Kinkajou: *whacks him with the pole*

Kinkajou: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T USE YOUR POWERS FOR EVIL!

Turtle: BUT IT WAS FUNNY!

Rainkeeper: ARE YOU GUYS EVEN LISTENING TO ME?

Winter: No.

Amber: Absolutely not.

Joy: No one does.

Rainkeeper:......*shoves Joy off the cliff*

Joy: *flies back up and whacks him*

Joy: I HAVE WINGS YOU IDIOT.

Kelp: I feel like we keep forgetting about that.

Rainkeeper: ANYWAYS

Rainkeeper: You're gonna impale Moon on the sticks, hold her over the pit and sing songs from Be More Chill like the creepy cult you are.

Moon: And then I'm safe?

Joy: And then you're gonna chant like a cult, and YEET HER INTO THE FIRE.

Moon: There. There it is. 

Carnelian: *stabs Moon*

Moon: *screams*

Qibli/Winter: *immediately stab Carnelian*

Carnelian: I'M NOT THE ONE YOU HAVE TO STAB, YOU ASSHOLES!

Qibli: LEAVE MOON ALONE.

Amber: *stabs Winter*

Winter: WHAT THE HELL AMBER?!!?

Amber: I mean hey, if we're all just gonna stab each other, that one was long overdue.

Kinkajou: Stop the violence. *drops pole*

Winter: *picks up pole and stabs Kinkajou*

Kinkajou: WINNIE I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!

Winter: You know, Amber's got a point, this does feel good.

Moon: EXCUSE ME, I'M STILL IMPALED AND IN IMMENSE PAIN HERE!

Carnelian: FUCK YOU, I HAVE MORE STAB WOUNDS.

Qibli: What, are we gonna pull out the tape measurers again too?

Winter: NO.

Qibli: You're just mad-

Turtle: *stabs Winter*

Winter: WHAT THE FUCK TURTLE.

Turtle: YOU STABBED KINKAJOU, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?

Qibli: TURTLE, AS YOUR FATHER I AM GROUNDING YOU.

Turtle: YOU'RE NOT MY DAD! GO AWAY OR SOMETHING!

Amber: *stabs Moon*

Amber: I'm like....half sorry for this?

Moon: It's fine, the endorphins are kicking in, I'm just kinda....numb.

Turtle: Oh, well in that case, if you can't feel it. *lightly stabs Moon*

Moon: I've...become so numb... I can't feel you there...Become so tired...

Joy: Wait MOON KNEW LINKIN PARK THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?

Joy: WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME SHE WAS CULTURED?

Kinkajou: Do you ever get a little bit tired of life, Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die, Like a numb little bug that's gotta survive-

Turtle: I wish Kinkajou, Winter, and Qibli were also stabbing Moon.

Winter/Qibli/Kinkajou: *stab Moon*

Qibli: AH!

Winter: YOU BASTARD.

Kinkajou: THAT'S CHEATING. HOW COULD YOU??!?!?

Qibli: MOON I'M SO SORRY I'M SO SORRY-

Moon: Oh look I've been impaled!

Moon: *steps back off the cliff*

Moon: *is held up by the poles*

Moon: OOOOO I'M FLOATING!

Amber: So many endorphins...

Air: NOW SING!

Qibli: Uh, does anyone remember any of the songs from Be More Chill?

Carnelian: WE DID THE WHOLE MUSICAL.

Winter: And it was hell.

Kinkajou: And probably a copyright violation?

Moon: So. SOOOOOOOOOOO MANY COPYRIGHT VIOLATIONS.

Turtle: Uh, uh-

Turtle: Now I'm just, Michael in the bathroom,

Players: Michael in the bathroom at a partyyyy

Players: *sway the poles back and forth as they sing*

Players: Forget how long its been
I'm just Michael in the bathroom
Michael in the bathroom at a party
No, you can't come in!

Moon: KUMBAYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MILORD! 

Kinkajou: Wrong song Moon!

Moon: RIGHT! UM! PIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNKBERRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

Players: I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave
And picking at grout as I softly grieve
I'm just
Michael who you don't know
Michael flying solo
Michael in the bathroom by himseeeeeelf
All by himself!

Moon: I'm flying solo!! *dives downward*

Players: *scream and drop the poles*

Moon: *falls into the fire*

Players: *scream louder*

Winter: I DIDN'T MEAN TO DROP HER!

Turtle: WERE WE SUPPOSED TO DROP HER?

Carnelian: BUUUURRN BABY BURN! DA DA DA DA DA-

Qibli: *slaps Carnelian*

Kelp: And now chant like a cult.

Kinkajou: what's a good cult chant?

Hosts:........

Joy: Here's a list. *hands one over*

Players: *dance on the edge of the cliff over the fire*

Players: UNUS. ANNUS. UNUS. ANNUS.

Players: PIZZA PIZZA. PIZZA PIZZA.

Players: ONE OF US. GOOBLE GOO. ONE OF US. GOOVLE GOO!

Hosts: *start roasting marshmallows*

Nightflyer: We should have our own cult chant.

Rainkeeper: Teah.

Joy: *shoves Rainkeeper off the cliff*

Rainkeeper: STILL HAVE WINGS!

Joy: Shut up.

Players: TRUTH OR DARE! TRUTH OR DARE!